Posts Tagged ‘time’

Merry Christmas, you dirty rascals!

merry christmas gift box close up photo

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I don’t know if you guys have snow, but I know we don’t. It hasn’t felt like the holiday season without, but I will make this a joyful time still. Santa will still come and give me the best presents, and I will share with you as much as I can, even if I don’t want to. Santa will still crawl down my chimney, even if I don’t have one, he will make one and will come down it. He will for some reason not rob me and will leave me some awesome presents, which I will open and enjoy for the whole month that it’s still new.

Tomorrow is actually Christmas, but I don’t want to be on the computer during Christmas, as that would be rude… This is why WordPress allows you to schedule posts, so you don’t miss a beat in your life, while also sharing every memory with those you may never meet in real life. My Randoms, this feature is for you. You get to read this awesome post, all while you open presents and share heart filling memories with your own loved ones. I am making this post to wish you a merry Christmas and happy holidays.

I pray that you take this season to reconnect with those you may only see once a year. I pray that you get what you need and enjoy everything people get you. I pray for safe travels, if you are driving to see family. I pray that you get receipts from Aunt Mary, because who truly needs three blenders, like seriously, Mary, get it together! I clearly sent you my wish list on Amazon. I pray for healing in broken families and restoration with all relationships that can be saved.

If this is your first Christmas since the passing of a loved one, I pray for the peace of the Lord to come and blanket you. I am truly sorry for your loss! I don’t know what it feels like, but I know it isn’t easy. I hope that you still have a good time with those whom love you, also know that that love one is looking from heaven as you open that present. They are happy that you are making it through the pain, so keep kicking pains Arse. It has to be hard, but God gives people to us to help us through things, so if you are in this situation, look for those who can help you, cling to them and never let go.

If you are in a broken family, full of drama and strife, I pray for restoration. I pray restoration flows into those walls and God brings back together those relationships that aren’t toxic, and begins to change those who are toxic. God wants us to be united, so do what you can to bring peace into your family this Christmas. If you have tried and it doesn’t work, forgive them and move in your own destiny. Don’t give power to these people. Every time you get mad at them, you give them power over you, so stop and forgive them. You don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to do anything with them, but at least forgive them so you can live your best life.

You guys are so strong. You are awesome and are truly presents to me. I am glad to have you guys and I pray that 2019 brings newness to this blog and it brings us all closer. 2019 is going to be a busy year, as I keep telling Ariel, so get on the train and take one hell of a ride. With God in the center, I can only imagine what all we can do!

I hope that you have a great Christmas. I hope you get what you want and more, but also that you find happiness in giving. I challenge you to do one great thing, then come here and tell us what you did. This can range from paying for someone’s coffee, or maybe you talk to a family member that you don’t like to talk to. Anything that shows love, do and tell!!!! I love you, guys!

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Don’t jump into the water!

It is hard to stay positive when you know life is rough. It is hard to keep that smile on your face, when you are trying to hold back tears. It’s hard to laugh and hard to love when you are filled with fear and doubt. Others will tell you to keep your head up, to get over it and be happy again, but do they know what you go through? Do they live with you, pay your bills, write your budget for the month, or even know how much you have to pay for rent? The answer is no, most of the time, that is. But they might have a point.

If you are an average American, you might be struggling, right now. I know I am no longer living comfortably. It is rough, and I don’t know how long it may take to get out of the situation. The truth is, I made a huge mistake that I’m pay for, now. It sucks. I fight back anger, every day. I try to stay strong, because that is who I am supposed to be. I am Blake. I am the happy clown that puts a smile on everyone’s face. I can’t be upset, I can’t stress, I have to be strong. But when is it my time to be sad, depressed, angry and broken? If you’re an average American, I probably just hit you hard with that similarity, yes! We are alike. You aren’t the only one that is struggling with these feelings. You aren’t the only one that has trouble breathing when you think about all the things you can’t do. You aren’t alone. So what happens now? Where do we go after we realize that we are broken?

The answer is simple. We go back to the beginning. We get over the small things and make plans on how to fix the bigger issues. This sounds so simple, but it’s not. It will take everything you have, but, it will work out!

The first step is to GET UP! Life isn’t over just because you fell and feel like you can’t get back up. You have a boo-boo but it isn’t critical. Get up! That is the most important thing. Get up from the ground and fight back! Breathe and know that everything will be okay! It isn’t the end of the world, but it is the end of your fear! You will get through this with the love and support of your friends and family. If it wasn’t for the strong encouragement of my wife, Ariel, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am. Yes, you will still be hurting, stressed, and possibly will fall again! But with these people beside you, you will make it. I Promise. They will be your security blanket in the hard times. Never try to do this alone. EVER!

The second step is to make a plan. I would never go into a war without the best outline, ever, neither should you! Take a minute from your crazy life and write down goals, a budget, and solutions. What do you want in the next 5 years? Well, I want to be debt free. Okay! How? I’ll pay the minimums on my credit cards, I’ll sell what I don’t use (you know, that boat that you bought, even though you live in the city and don’t even know where the nearest river is?) , and I’ll stop going to McDonald’s  and I’ll use that dang cook book that my mom bought me! I will then put that money back so I can finally pay more on my credit card! Okay! What solutions will help you get your life back together? If I didn’t have debt, that would be a big relief. I’m not happy with my current job, so I’ll look for a new one, I am not happy with my weight, so I’ll workout 4 days a week. See, it isn’t that hard to make a plan. Most people don’t take time to make a plan, and that is why they usually never see results. They want everything to go back to normal, but they never change their way of living. How do you expect change, when you never put in the work? Getting your life together is 20% materials and 80% your will to be different.

The Third step is simple; Stop stressing the small stuff!

I learned a lesson a year ago, right around this time; this lesson was “Stop stressing the small things.” A guy told me that when I was in the line at a pretzel shop. Ariel and I were waiting in line for a bucket of yummy, Cinnamon pretzel nuggets. We were talking about the fact that Christmas was coming up and that we didn’t want to spend that much money. The guy interrupted and told us to not stress over the little things, because life is too short to lose sleep over things that won’t matter in a year. This hit me when I thought about it. How many times do we over stress about the smallest things. It might seem important, but when it’s over, you realize that the situation wasn’t that serious after all. You were able to solve the issue pretty quick, and shouldn’t have lost sleep over it. In this case, Ariel and I ended up having a great Christmas, even though we didn’t spend that much money. In other cases, we were able to find a hole in our budget and got back in the race, quickly. YES! There are certain cases that you won’t be able to fix it immediately, but with a solid plan, all things will be solved in due time. This is where your faith in your plan has to be strong. You won’t stick to the plan if you think it isn’t bulletproof, so you best believe it’s bulletproof. After you believe in yourself, then you might not be stress less, but you won’t feel like the whole world is on your shoulders, anymore.

The last thing is what I have always done, that is laugh, dangit! Why mope around when you can’t fix things? Why do we get depressed and let the darkness take over our rainbow? Being negative all the time is like jumping into a raging river. You know it will never end well, but yet you still jump, why? Stop jumping into the water, stop letting the pain get you down. When I get upset, I try to find a way to make a joke out of it, and it has worked. I know this isn’t the best advice, as some of you aren’t like me, I know, but just try it. Laughter is the best medicine to a broken heart. In my situation, I will make jokes because I know how stupid I was for doing what I did. Ariel and I make jokes all the time now when it comes to the situation. Laughter will change everything. When you laugh, it is like you are taking the sting and pain away from the antagonist, leaving them defenseless and weak. Learn how to keep a smile on your face, because no situation is big enough to take your smile away. Laugh, my peeps, laugh. It will help.

What I am saying is; stop letting depression win. Get up from the ground and live the best life that you can. Laugh when you are hurt, smile when you are broken, and learn to love. Find people that will pull you from the river and cover you with their safety. Learn to not stress over the small things and to make plans for anything that seems impossible, because God has your back. This isn’t a spiritual post, but these are the simple things I do to keep that beautiful smile on my face, at all times. I have been through the worse times, ever, but somehow, I have been able to find a way to stay positive. I want to give you four simple things you need to do anytime you’re down; Get up, Make a plan, Stop stressing the small things and for gosh sake, LAUGH! When you master those 4 things, you will be so much happier, and the small things will no longer have a hold on your heart! I LOVE YOU, GUYS! Thank you for the support and I hope to see you in the next post: How to get over him/her.

Tonight, I will take three Facebook posts. After finding three of the first post, I will spend about thirty seconds to respond to them. This will be a raw feeling post, which could end up pissing someone off, but I don’t mind. I wont say any names, nor will I post what the status actually says. This just seems like a quick (yet fun)idea. So lets go!

Status #1
Someone posted about their recent purchase

I am truly happy for you. I see that you spend a lot of your time at work, and you work your ass off. Yet, you think about your kids before yourself. I can tell that you’re really a good mother, which is something that isnt easy to find. Thank you for working your ass off, you make me proud!

Status #2
Someone lost someone they loved over a year ago.

Man, I surely miss hearing about him. He was a precious being and he will be missed. I don’t know what happened to him, but I know people bled to keep him safe. I hope that you are doing well and know that he is in a better place now. He was always after my nuts. You!

Status #3
Someone accomplishing something really dumb.

It doesn’t really matter what you do because you’re at a stand still. You aren’t using your money wisely, you sleep all the time, and you live off others. You say that you appreciate those who you love, yet wont spend your day off helping anyone. I honestly wish you would wake up and get over yourself. Much love, Blake!

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Thank you for reading. I hope that you guys stay around for much that is coming. I just wanted to get something out and get back into the game before I start posting the old content I use to. I love your support. You are the best!!!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

    Imagine walking down a long, dark tunnel. This tunnel resembles your life and the choices that you have made. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The closer you get to the light, the more colder that the tunnel gets. You are freezing, but it gets worse. You are almost to the end, then it starts to pour water. You want to continue, but doubt gets to you. You don’t think that you can make it, so you stop. The light at the end of the tunnel becomes dim, then fades completely. This is what depression feels like. At first, you are strong, but then the weight of the world falls onto your shoulders. You want to carry on, but the hope is no longer driving you. You begin to feel alone and eventually you give up.

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   350 million people are affected by depression worldwide. This is 5% of the whole world. Of the U.S.A we are looking at 16 million civilians that suffer from feeling alone or not good enough. People are likely to be depressed because of Brain chemistry, Hormones, genetics and/or personal risk factors, which include: Low self-esteem, physical or sexual abuse, diabetes or other major health factors, alcohol or drug abuse, medication side-effects, also the history of their family can play a big part in their health. Women are also more likely to suffer from depression than men are.

   Suffering from depression can really hold someone down and make their life unbearable. If the feeling of being alone isn’t enough, there are other effects that depression will cause. These effects consist of becoming angry easily, not being able to control your anger, anxiety issues, loss of interest in something that you love to do, being stuck in the past, and having suicidal thoughts. This becomes hard to live a life when you have no passion to do anything, especially the hobbies that you use to love to participate in.  With no interest in doing anything, one could only imagine what negative effects this will have on the body. There are a huge amount of additional effects that bring harm to your body, and should not be ignored.
   
   The physical effects are pretty serious and are usually easy to spot. This is why they ask you to keep an eye for these things. Insomnia, fatigue, and random aches and pains might be hard to catch, as the person might not speak up about it. But you might be able to catch these next few things easier. Weight gain/loss in a rapid form. You will be able to catch if someone is losing a lot of weight (or gaining) quickly. Increase or decrease in appetite should also be easy to catch on to. Also, they could have a hard time concentrating. If the person is big into art, but can’t find time to concentrate on art, then youmight want to talk to them. This is a pretty huge deal, because the next sign is more dangerous; cutting/self harm. You will be able to see the marks (sometimes not so easily) but this shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you ever find someone is cutting, you need to talk them into getting help, immediately.

  Being a friend to a person with depression can be hard, but God gives us help in his word. Three scriptures stood out to me today, all of them pointed to this topic. These scriptures can guide you to help those in need, or they can help you as you fight depression, yourself. The first Scripture was

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Psalms 34:17 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”

1 Peter 5: 6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

   God will never leave his people. He is always there for you, all you have to do is cry out for him. He knows that you are not strong enough to face the giants, alone, that is why he is there with you. You must first humble yourself, then you and God will be able to escape the feeling of world being on your shoulders. But, remember, as the children of God, it is also our job to go out and help those in need. We have to watch for the signs. Suicide is a huge problem, but with our kind hearts, we could change all of that! It is time for us to help those in need. It is our time to stand with those who feel alone.

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Why don’t I use my new tablet?
It has been three weeks since Christmas. On Christmas I received the best gift, ever. I was giving a gift, from my wife, that I couldn’t love anymore than I already do. The biggest problem is I haven’t used it. The tablet has sat in my desk since that first day, without being used by anyone; I haven’t even powered it on. The one question I must answer is “Why?”

To answer this question, we must first take a look into my brain. I am the type of man that has to allow things to get dusty before I use them. I am being serious. I still have a pair of shoes that I haven’t even tried on. The shoes are so sexy. They are blue Pumas that I have always wanted. But since I have already have shoes, I chose to leave these shoes alone, for now.

I think its because I never had new things growing up. Yes, I was giving things from my dad but what I mean is that I wasn’t showered with gifts.  I was giving enough to be happy, which is great but, I wasn’t like others that got everything that they want, so its different when I get new things. I cherish the new things that I get. I love this thing about me, I wouldn’t change anything. But it also gets crazy when I let good things sit off to the side while I watch it get dusty.

Now back to the tablet. I love the tablet, I just happen to love this one, also. I guess it’s because of all the work that is on this device. There is something special about this tablet. It was my first big gift from Ariel, maybe that’s why. But the most reasonable answer is because this still has life. This tablet will be used until it dies, then (and only then) will this device be buried. With this being said, I think I am going to start using the other tablet soon. I think the other tablet is going to compliment my writing, since it actually has a backspace button! I don’t know though. I guess we will have to see.

Anyway, thank you guys for reading. I greatly appreciate you. I don’t know why I wanted to tell you guys this, but I feel better now. Sometimes, you just have to express dumber feelings to feel better. This is why I am glad that I wrote this…Have a good night!

What is something weird that you do?

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

    I should be working, but that can wait. Yes, you are getting a post from inside my workplace, as I sit in the back and hope for a dead night. I am exhausted, I have pains on my pains, and I am ready to go home! But we shall work through it and press on.
    Effects Sundays will be coming soon. This will be the segment that shows you guys what I work on when I’m not writing. You guys might know about it, but let me discuss a lil further. I am beginning a new journey, well more like starting a new hobby.
   I find that sometimes I get burnt out of writing because it’s the only thing I do. But I find a weird love in making gory things, which is an effects artists job. They are suppose to make it possible to make a cut without actually harming anyone. We have all seen them. Just watch any movie, I am sure they have one SFX art in the movie, especially when it’s a horror/slasher film.
    The reason I love to do this is because I love to watch such movies, I have always been inspired to write and produce a horror movie! If I take on the role of the effects artist also, then I wouldn’t have to pay another person to do so. But with the future aside, right now I want to do two things; get better at writing, further my experience in SFX make-up.
     I have shown you guys the previous work, but what if there’s more? Would you want to see it? If you said yes, then this Sunday Special is just for you!

     SundayEffects will be solely for special effects. Now, I do plan on making multiple effects a week(once my work schedule is balanced) and posting them to Facebook, but SundayEffects will take one of those effects and will tell you; how to do the Effect, how to obtain the materials, the price of the Materials, or other great things. Not all said things will be in every post, though sometimes it will be just me showing my work. But either way, this is going to be an amazing segment, and I think you will love it

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I am taking request on what to make, so please do tell me what effect you want to see!

Welp, back to hell. Goodbye!

Impromtdude

Let us begin the next week on a few key notes. The Broncos have dropped their last two games, but that wont be the story for long, with the Texans coming to town, they should be able to pull off a win. Other than that, all my “losses” were due to something stupid happening. Big Ben getting hurt, Wentz not getting it done (179 yards with 0 TD), the Bears letting another close game go (led in the fourth quarter, yet gave up 17 points.) A really controversial call in the Seattle game cost me that win, and who knew the Cowboys would walk over Rodgers and the Packers, in Wisconsin (though I was right about Dak’s first INT!) My record is now 42-32. I am planning to win all the games this week! 

Bears @ Packers
Winner: Packers

Giants @ Rams
Winner: Rams

Saints @ Chiefs
Winner: Chiefs

Vikings @ Eagles
Winner: Eagles (Yes, Vikings lose their first game)

Colts  @ Titans
Winner: Titans

Bills @ Dolphins
Winner: Bills

Redskins @ Lions
Winner: Redskins

Browns @ Bengals
Winner: Bengals

Raiders @ Jags
Winner: Raiders

Ravens @ Jets
Winner: Jets

Chargers @ Falcons
Winner: Falcons

Bucs @ 4th-and-9ers
Winner: Bucs

Patriots @ Steelers
Winner: Patriots (Big Ben is gone, don’t expect to win any big games.)

Seahawks @ Cardinals
Winner: Seahawks

Texans @ Broncos
Winner: Broncos.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

    Does anyone know where my Honda went? Someone must have stolen it…
    This will be a quick story about my old church. This story came in my third year of being a Christian. I was talking to a pastor about speaking in tongues. I always wanted to do the impossible, and for me speaking in tongues was impossible. I didn’t understand it and always felt it was a trick to get people more hyped in church, but for some reason, I was never able to achieve the goal of doing so.

    Being very frustrated, I wanted to get my pastors advice. What he told me was un-releastic and made me question everything. I don’t know if he was joking, but  if he wasn’t then there are so many people walking around, thinking they are giving a gift of God, when in reality they are fools of a man’s tricks.

    The trick is very simple. You just have to say a few simple phrases, quickly, and you did it! The phrases are; “Who stole my Honda?” and “Untie my bow tie.” Now of course, one must say them quickly and in a low volume, mainly to ensure no one hears you, but that is the trick. You will be able to speak in tongues without problems, but only of you follow the rules.

    Let me remind you:
1. Get pumped at Church.
2. Lift your hands
3. Start praying
4. Say one of the two phrases.
5. Keep it low volumed and continue.
6. Sell it!
   
   

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Obviously, this isn’t the way to do this, but I found it funny. The Lord is something to not joke about. But also playing tricks on people isn’t acceptable either. So if you want to do this, so be it, but make sure to keep it to yourself. Don’t share my secrets …fool!

Impromtdude

A wattpad special!
Standing alone!
I sit here, in my room, all alone after the fight with my wife. I said a few things again that were not needed to be said. I know I need to stop the way that I treat her, or one day she will leave me. But there is something that she does, that pisses me off. My wife pushes me to a point that I want to break her neck. I have never been violent with a woman, but there is a line that I also haven’t crossed and I feel like she is about to shove me across that line.
The whole fight started with her staying at work for longer than needed. I was waiting outside waiting for her, I had roses in one hand and wine in the other. But when she came outside she didn’t notice my kind gesture. I wanted to slam her head into the car window, but my past teachings taught me to never hit a woman, so I kept my cool until I got into the car.
Once we got into the car, I let her have it though. I told her that she needed to pay more attention to me and that it was unacceptable. She snapped back talking about how if I did it more then it might mean something to her. As I said before, I wanted to bash her head in, show her the amount of pain and embarrassment, that she just shown outside her job, but I kept cool, again. I remember driving home after that was said, thinking of a way to punish her, but something inside wasn’t allowing me to think of the dark tortures. I stayed quite the rest of the way home.
She got out of the car quickly, slamming the door behind her and walking into the house. She was trying to make me mad, but I was numb to the ignorance that she was showing. I have dealt with the craziness for more than 7 years, so I let her storm up the stairs and take a shower, just like every time I make her mad. This time was different though, there was never a light turned on, not even for the room that she would usually lay her heavy jacket in before getting naked. The fear of someone attacking my love, made me nervous so I went to check on her. I got out of the car when the light came on. I got a little annoyed by the timing of her presence.
Now that I was outside of the car, what was I suppose to do? I wasn’t about to go in there and act as if I did something wrong, but I also didn’t want to stay in the cold weather. I contemplated getting back into the car, but starting the car would waste more gas than I want to. So I chose to go for a walk around the block, this would give her time to get her apology ready.
The walk was working, it was making me forget the things that just happened, but it also was making me think of worse things. The past was never easy for me or my family, my father was an abuser and my mother paid for his choices. She would be up all night waiting for him to get home from bingo, in order for him to hit her. One night she left, and I was left there with him. He lost all of his money playing that night, and was angry. I try to forget that nightmare as if it didn’t happen, but every time I close my eyes, I see his hand. His big brass hand hit my flesh multiple times that night, but that wasn’t the worse part. He tied me up and tortured me.
He pulled a cloth out of the closet and put the contents on the desk in the center of the room. He removed the cloth to reveal that he had my mother tied up. She looked at me and began to scream. I couldn’t believe that I thought she left, when he had her in the closet. I tried to free myself, but it wasn’t working, I was forced to sit her as he began to taunt her.
He pulled out his knife from his holster and ran it along her tan skin. A tear formed in her eye, I felt bad for not being able to help her. She began to pull her hand from the rope, but my dad was too fast for that, as he slammed the knife through her palm. Her scream gave me deadly chills through my spine, as I sat there crying. Blood began to pour from her hand onto the ground. She looked into my eyes as he began to laugh. “Get it done!” He shouted “But then what?” He replied to his previous comment. My father seemed to be possessed, but that’s impossible, isn’t it? “Kill her!” He began to yell louder as he lifted the knife. Something stopped him dead in the tracks as he lowered the knife, “I can’t do it!” He moaned in sadness, but then he began to laugh again. During this all, my mother was still trying to get out of the grasp that he had on her. He started to spaz out again, grabbing his head and pulling his hair, still holding the knife that he had just put down. “Nah, I got this!” He dug the long blade into her stomach and began to twist the blade. He began to pull the knife down her torso, the knife was ripping through all of her intestines. The room was splattered with blood, the blood from my mother. I couldn’t comprehend what I witnessed that night. I know the feeling that I had though, my heart hurt, I was mad, I was crushed. I lost my mother that night. I wanted my revenge, but that night was also the last time I saw my dad. He ran out of the room shouting something crazy, it was in another language. The cops never found him, the searched for miles after they got a domestic violence call from my neighbors. They said they saw him running outside with the bloody knife that committed the murder.
I found myself laying on the street at 12 a.m., the night that I left for the walk. I must have fell asleep when I began to think of my mother and father. I couldn’t walk anymore at that point, the pain felt to real. It has been 6 years since that happened, and I still fight with the horror everyday! I don’t know what to do, I have ruined my marriage from not being able to let this go. My wife has been strong throughout this whole situation, but I have been treating her like garbage the last six months. I fought with her father, told him I was going to kill him and his wife for saying something that wasn’t even towards me. I then told her sister that she was a slut, and told her husband that she was a cheater. They recently filed for divorce, and that is my fault. I never liked her family, but I tolerated them for her, but that ended when they took shots at my anger. They told her that it was stupid for her to be with me, due to the fact that I haven’t worked in a year. I have been searching for employment, but it is hard to find a job. Now not only do they hate me, she also hates me. My own wife hates me, and I can do nothing about it. We tried to go through marriage counseling, but that was a waste of time. The therapist was a woman and babied my wife through the whole class, saying that I should give up everything to make her happy, and that I am a bad husband. Now I see it, I am a bad husband, I’m my fathers’ son.
I think about these things on a daily bases, usually I walk to clear my mind, but tonight its not working. I feel more angry since I started walking. Thoughts come through my head, saying I should have stayed home. I feel unsafe, As if I might explode if I go home. But if I don’t go home, then she will think that I cheated, and that would lead to, yet another big fight. I already have to explain why I was out until  12 in the morning. But that will be much easier to do, than to explain why I didn’t come home at all. I walk through our front door and round my way up the stairs. She was sitting on the couch with a cell phone lit up in her hand. The look that she gave was deadly, I knew this was going to turn out well. I smiled, but she didn’t find it funny. “Where have you been?” I shook my head and replied “I had an episode and passed out.” She giggles and spits back “Whatever, another damn episode, get some help…loser.” My blood began to boil, the words that my dad always called me exited her mouth as venom. I lifted my hand in anger, trying to get her to stop, but she didn’t. “Why don’t you get your life together.” I snapped. “Screw you, you are stupid. You can root in hell with your parents.” The room got real quite before she jumped up and began to hit me in the face with her phone. My hands shot up in defense as I tried to get her to stop. She kept hitting me, each time the punches weakened my defense. I blacked out, and began to fight back. I pushed her to the ground and got on top of her. My first hit was an accident, but I enjoyed the feeling it gave me. All the bottled up angrier that I kept inside finally was out. I stopped after three hits, thinking that was the end of the fight. But then out of nowhere, she nailed me in the balls with her knee and attempted to get up. I grabbed her leg and pulled it back down. I was the stronger of the two, so I forced my way off the ground, and walked into the kitchen. This was a clear attempt to get away from her, but she followed as she threw a glass at me. It missed and smashed into the wall. I shouted a few words, then she attacked again. She grabbed the knife off the counter and lunged the tip towards me, she missed. I lowered my elbow into her forearm forcing the blade to the ground. She reached for the handle, my knee implanted into her stomach. She fell to the ground. This time I got on top of her. I was trying to get her to stop before something bad happened. She clawed at me, scratching the inside of my eye. My vision went red, my eye was fully covered in blood from the inside. My body got weak as I grabbed the frying pan from the cover. I swung one time, slamming the flat plate against her skull, she was knocked out. I thought that was the end, I was surely going to jail, my marriage was over. I began to spaz out, thinking to myself “What can I do?” So I took the knife and plummeted it into her gut, she arose from her sleep, screaming in agony. I apologized as I twisted the blade and drug it down her gut. Her eyes turned lifeless, her lips turned blue. I had to think fast on what I could do to not go to jail, then I thought of the perfect plan. I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote:
“Don’t come looking for me. I am Larry Olsen, Travis Olsen’s dad. If I find out that you came looking for me, I will kill Travis as I killed Rebecca, his wife. I have longed for the day that I could have my son back into my arms, and nothing will take him from me again. This is why she had to die, she held him back from me.”
I left the note on her dead body, after I tied her up and put a bag over her head. I took the knife with me so they couldn’t take the DNA off the evidence. The cops will see this as a strike against my father, and I can go on living my own life again. I will move states and pray that no one in her family sees me out-and-about. What if they do though? I ask myself instantly. I would like to think I would let them be, say they are insane and go on with my day, but the true answer is; if anyone spots me, that’s where they stand alone, dead. The same way my mother laid, and the same way that Rebecca lays now. I didn’t want to do this tonight, but like I said before; I am my fathers son!  

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There is no doubt that I will make it

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I am sitting here thinking about my future, wondering where I could go, and wondering if I will ever make it to that place. I have been doing this for about two-years (on this blog) and really I have nothing to show for it. I don’t have anyone coming up to me and telling me nice job, I am not being paid, I really don’t have anything to show for it, at this point, I am just a low-end writer that just happens to post everyday. This will not be a post about how I feel sorry for myself, this post will be about how, even at the end of the wits a true writer will stand from the ashes and raise his pen. Writers that have been down this road know it can be hard. It is a never ending battle, and the beginning is the hardest part.
I have wrote a few blogs on this topic “Never giving up.” But today is different. Today, I am not telling you guys to not give up, also not telling you guys to keep going. Today is about me, I am fighting myself. I am fighting the self doubt inside, but also reviewing my work, and coming to a conclusion to the question “Can I truly make it?” I want to be quick to say yes, but at the same time, I know that not every writer will make it, and with many writers coming up the stream, it seems that I am heading the other current without a paddle. This paddle that I am talking about is college. It is hard to find a writing job, it is even harder to find a writing job without a college degree in Creative writing, journalism, copywriting etc. This is something I don’t have, but 90% of other writers do. This means that I lie in the pool with 10% of writers that might make it. I am of 10% of writers without a degree, how do we make it? Through social media, small jobs and friends.
I am on Facebook, which was my asocial media outlet, and I haven’t been seeing any spikes in performance. Now, this doesn’t mean that my work is bad, that is not the case, the case is that my work 1. Isn’t getting to the dark side of Facebook 2. They don’t care. 3. I don’t have a strong friend list. When I say the dark side of Facebook, I am talking about those friends that are really close with you, but at the same time, they don’t really connect over Facebook. They could be busy with work, on a different social media, or they don’t like Facebook, at all. Though, these might be the reasons, there is also another possibility. They could not care. This is a strong possibility, and also probably the case most of the time. People have different taste, they want what they want and nothing else. They want a post about a flower when you are posting about a flag, and want a post about a flag when you are posting about a flower. It is impossible to reach every listener on Facebook, because trends come and go, this is why you see a momentary increase in stats, because people are into what you are writing, but as quick as you got those views, they change their interest and you are left with nothing. Then there is number 3, which I believe is my case, you don’t have a strong friend list. This is saying that your “Friends” are on your Facebook because you were close at one time, but now you guys aren’t. They still want to be friends, you know to keep up, but they don’t interact with you. If you have a Facebook full of these friends, that is why you aren’t getting the clicks. This is when you need to clear your friends list, I highly recommend this, and start from fresh. You don’t want friends that don’t speak to you taking up all your space. Your post will only reach a few, so why not make sure that few are friends that care?
With this being said, what does that show for me? I would have to say that this is all a problem for me. My blog is great, as said by strangers, so this leaves one big thing; my friends. I have never had strong friends, they all have kind of sucked, at times. But the biggest thing that might have effect on me, is the fact that I was shunned by my friends a couple years back. This blog isnt about them, though. I just know that this could have a big effect on me, since I never deleted them. With them being on my friends list, they see my post but they never look at it, causing me to lose potential views. I have always seen that my “sees” are up, but my blog stats are low. This is because of those friends, they might scroll past it, but since we don’t see eye-to-eye they will not click onto the link. This is why it is important that you clear your friends list. That way you are reaching true fans and family, ones that will care about your dreams.
With this being said, what does it look like? What are the chances of me making it? It is as good as anyone else’s. I have the talent that it takes, so now it is just getting the horse to the water, once they are there, I will let my blog drag them in. I can’t expect this to catch fire instantly, though. It takes time to grow an audience. I will have to have faith to make it, and I will have to practice a lot. This means that I need to follow more artist and less posers, I will also need to follow the rule of Stephen King, which is “To be a great writer, you must read great writing.” It takes all your heart to become someone, and a lot of time. All you can do is hope and pray that you catch a break. I have already been through the praying, now it is time to get better and get ready for my big break. Every writer has the same odds, I just have to do everything to make my odds better!  

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude