Posts Tagged ‘sorry’

​There was an old story that was going to be something. I wrote 5 chapters before scrapping the project. Now, after years, I am going to show you guys the first chapter. Sorry about the spacing.. 

The pastor stands there holding his bible. He is dressed in a nice black suit with a red tie, that has a little button on the tip that says “Forgiven.” Indicating that anything that passes this world into paradise must first be forgiven by something bigger than ourselves.

“We are gathered here today to remember the life of Theordore Ramsey. Though he lived a short life, the length of time he had here affected many.” I could hear the agonizing cries from all of my friends and family, it is breaking my heart to hear the sound, but I cant do anything, which has to be the worse part!

“And though we don’t know why God took our young man, we have to believe that he has a purpose.” Ah that’s not right pastor, don’t tell them that, don’t make them question what purpose God has for my death. Telling them that will make them hate God even more! Be Sensitive to them!

I cant hear the pastor anymore? I guess that means he is done talking? I sure hope so, his speech was okay, but overall he needs help! There is no reason that I should be crying at my funeral, well besides the fact that I am dead. Other than that, I should not be crying, but with this pastor, I was bawling the whole time that he was speaking.

I thought they were about to put the roses on my coffin and seal me in the ground, but then I heard her voice, her sweet soft voice. The voice I fell in love with, the voice I would wake up to every morning. The voice I would hear screaming at me when I would make her made, even then it was beautiful. Her voice is voice that I will miss the most once I am six feet under. I hope I don’t forget that sound. I hope that every second I am in this coffin, I hear her voice.

She begins to talk about how we spent our life together, the best parts and she even talked about some of the rough parts. But there was one part of her speech that really touched me, it was the night before we split, it was a week before our wedding. Emotions were high, stress even higher, so I decided that I wanted to go watch the sunset, and get her home before ten like the old days. It went like this:   

It is 8 o’clock P.M. Central timing, if you were trying to imagine how dark it is at this point, it isn’t that dark, the sun is just pearing over the horizon. Usually the sun goes down by now, but for some reason it has decided that it wasn’t ready to leave its resting place for the night.

 I wish at this point that we could pause time and cherish the time that we have together, I never once took it for granted, but I never truly was appreciative for it. So maybe I did take it for granted.

We were lying on a blanket, luckly it was a nice night in Illinois, since the rest of the week after that was a complete mess, I believe that there was even snow in July? I hate weather inIllinois, it was more bipolar than my in-laws. I liked my in-laws, as much as I like kittens. They are nice from a distance, but when they get close, all they do is bite.

Anyways, we were lying on the blanket, I supported a pair of kaki shorts, where she wore her jean mini-skirt, I couldn’t keep my mind off her legs, making it harder for me to wait that week for our wedding, I just had to tell her that I wanted to wait. I believed waiting was the best option for our marriage. If something would have happened to us, and she wouldn’t of been whole for her husband, as she wanted to be, I would of felt horrible. So waiting it was. She just didn’t make it easy on me!

“I am getting a little chilly.” I wrapped her in my arms to help her body warm up, she enjoyed the feeling, as did I. We talked about the wedding the whole night, talking about the objects we still needed to buy and what we still needed to do for the special day. Which wasn’t much, we only had a few things left to do being: Paying the pastor and booking a hotel for our honeymoon. Overall we have all this wedding paid for, even though we didn’t decide to plan until six months before, because we are smart!

We are getting to the point in this memory where I cant remember all the details, even if I did it would be hard to explain, but I will try my hardest to give you all the correct descriptions!

We decided that at 9:30 we were going home, well it got to that time and we packed up the car with the blankets from her mother’s room. I wanted to drive 20 mph the whole way there, because after tonight the only time we were going to talk is if we had a question about the wedding. We wanted to build tension between each other to make it more exciting on our big day.

I dropped her off at her house, she gave me a long passionate kiss that I embraced happily knowing it was going to be my last one for a week. I went in for another one before she exited the car, but she smirked, and told me I had to wait. The torture was enforced, as she wanted me to cry on the inside, she wanted me to feel pain, for telling her she had to wait to have kids. She wanted me to regret my decision, and I was for sure.

I watched her as she walked into her house, it was late so she asked me to not go up to the door, as I said before in-laws are jerks, so I had to watch her from a distance. She turned around and gave me a blow-kiss. I returned the favor and drove off. 

 It was 1 A.m. when she got the call, telling her to get to the hospital. The doctor told her that I was in extreme condition and that I will not make it through the night. I then heard a loud scream, and crying, before blacking out.


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    I have been complaining about my job, all week. For this, I do apologize. I shouldn’t complain about my job like that, without my job I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the things I love to do. It might suck but money is the root of everything we do. If I didn’t have a job, I wouldn’t be able to pay my rent, light bill, gas, or cable bill. Without paying my rent, I wouldn’t be able to shower or enjoy a warm bed at night, or without paying my light bill, I wouldn’t be able to write, read, do effects make-up or even enjoy a hot shower. If I didn’t have money for my gas bill, I would freeze in the winter. I could live without cable, but  as I said last night, I wouldn’t be able to post a blog. My cable and internet are connected. So if I lost one, I would lose both. Since my tablet needs internet to post blogs, I wouldn’t be able to write to you guys. So I guess having a good paying job is pretty important.
    These were some of the basic things that a job is needed the most for. I am not including all my activity expenses that I spend my money on. This includes; new footballs, new paints, new notebooks, new books, effects make-up, materials for effects, fake blood, things for my wife, and many other things. I spend a lot of money, something that isn’t possible without the amazing job that I have. That is why I am saying I’m sorry.
    I don’t need to be pouting about what I have to do. Instead, I should be thanking the person for giving me another week on this pay period. I make great money and have for a while. So, sorry for everything I have said latley. It took me looking at my life to realize I’m in a great position. Life might not be fair at times, but everything will be fine, that is all that matters!
    Though I’m saying sorry, I would like to say “thank God.” Thank him for this day, my day off. It’s my day off which means I get to relax and get ready for another week. Tonight we will be going to a haunted house/graveyard to enjoy another spook. I might also work on a new project. Tell me, are you ready for another SFX? I know I am;)

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Impromtdude

    We have people here today, they are giving us new windows. This is great and all, but also very annoying. I hate house repairs and this is why:
     1. My dog- The most annoying thing is my dog wants to join in. He has to know what’s going on, all the time. This is especially annoying when new people are around. Also, they are removing windows and going outside constantly, so he has to be tied up. He hasn’t stopped crying since they started…

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     2. Somehow I always get hurt- I cut myself on one of the windows, but this isn’t new. I always find a way to hurt myself. This could be from a stubbed toe to a slit wrist. But it always happens!

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     3. The clutter/mess- Construction is messy, and some don’t know how to clean up. I had a set of construction workers leave my house looking like Christmas after a door installation! Luckily these guys are smart, but this house is still cluttered!

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      4. The noise- I hate the loud bangs and constant pounding. You can’t concentrate on anything, you can’t talk on the phone and you can’t sleep. Your life is put on hold for a few long hours.

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      5. The people! Today, I had three men come into my house, didn’t say hi and went straight to work. I love that they aren’t wasting any time, but damn! Atleast say hi! I mean, you are a stranger in my house and you can’t even have enough respect to say anything? Instead, you look at me like I’m crazy, like I’m the one inside your house uninvited.

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      I am glad this is almost over, so I can finally go back to my normal life. I hate clutter, so today isn’t the day for me. I thought I would share for you guys. Please tell me, how do you deal with repairmen? Comment below?

Impromtdude

I am feeling this new change. I would like to tell you guys of the change, but I think will leave that for another blog. Today, I will tell you guys about what is happening. I want to tell you guys the effects of my decision, mainly to show you that it isn’t that bad. I haven’t found any bad from my choice, but I have found a lot has been changing. The fact that I am more confident, not only in writing but also during my work. I am happier, I feel a new happiness arising.

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     During the last week, I found that I am smiling more, even when I am mad. But the best thing is that my blog is rising. The stats are finally where I want them to be. I wanted to push myself to the next level, but I didn’t know where that was, so I called out to get some help, that is when I found this man. He was a very cool guy, he was wearing a trench coat, as he sat on the bench next to my work. He smiled, like an old friend, when he saw me. He got up from the bench, came over to me and gave me an index card. I was unsure about the card, but the logo caught my eye. His logo resembled the top of the pyramid of the dollar bill, but I couldn’t think of it at the moment, so I nervously put the card in my back pocket and walked away. As I walked away I heard the man proclaim that he had the answer to my fears, and to call him when I got my mind together. I threw up my arm and walked away.
I wanted to throw away the post card, I really did, but something was calling me to it. I didn’t know what the man meant or what sick game he was playing, but he seemed to know what I was going through. This what the moment that I had to make the decision; Would I carry my own, chasing a dream that seemed impossible or would I call him for help. After hours of sleeping on it, I decided to give him a call. He told me the keys of receiving the ultimate attention to my blog. I was amazed by his knowledge, but he said that he needed me to give him something in return. I figured this was a way to get money, so I simply chuckled. He didn’t find it as funny as me and told me that it was serious. I asked him to tell me what he needed. I wasn’t ready to hear what he said, but I knew that I was too far now to step back, so I agreed.
After I made my choice, he told me that I had to write it in stone, revealing my decision to the whole world. Knowing that my dad was going to have a heart attack, I chose to post it on the day that I closed, at my store, in order to be away from my phone when he read it. I wrote the letter, and signed it with the blood of my body. I then said the magic words, and boom I was in the club. I was now a part of something bigger than my understanding. During all of this, I was too busy seeking the instant fame, that I forgot what I just gave away and what it could do to me if I allowed it to get out of control. I started to regret my decision, fearing what I was doing, until the stats started to pour in. My blog views are higher than last week, my likes are piling in, and people are interacting with me. I even feel happier. My job has been easier, also. Costumers are drawn to me and are allowing me to keep my cool by not being stupid. I am enjoying this whole change, I couldn’t imagine being happier, and it could only get better from here on out. I am glad that I met that guy, if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have the passion to write you guys, anymore. I love you guys, I beg you to not hate me for doing this. Please realize, I am just trying to live my dream.

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(more…)

If I can be serious…

    There has been a lot of confusion in my life, lately. I am lost in my own dreams, and I don’t know what to do to get back. I haven’t been myself lately, many probably can tell. I don’t want to write as I use to. I don’t want to write, at all. I don’t have my heart in any of my recent post, also I can’t keep motivated to finish any of my blogs. I am tired of always trying to come up with great ideas, but also I am tired. I am tired of trying to explain myself, and making myself feel like I have a reason to feel the way I do. I don’t want to explain myself, but I feel like I need to. I know that you guys are there for me, but at the same time, who are you to be there for me. It isnt your job to hold my hand, during my troubles. I do appreciate it, but I know you don’t have to. But let me try to explain myself to you guys, and then I will end this blog.

     This journey is hard, it is an uphill battle. Writing was something that use to be a pure hobby for me, but somewhere in the middle, I made it my passion, not knowing what that was going to bring. I didn’t know that stress would come along with chasing a dream. But the stress is real, and it is something that I deal with every night of my life. Along with my work, I come home and want to give you guys my best. Some nights I find that it is super easy to write to you guys, but nights like last night come up, and writing is something that I don’t want to do, but I want to keep this streak going. I promised my friends and fans that I would post, everyday, and that is something that I don’t want to stop anytime soon. But with work being exxtra stressful, I have been super tired, every night, and since I don’t prewrite blogs anymore,  I find myself writing the post at 8pm, when it needed to be done by 7:30, so I rush, and when I rush,  I find that my blog isnt up to par; but in order to meet the deadline, I have to settle, then I stay up late, worrying that you guys are going to hate me. The next day is worse, because the stats are in.

When the numbers are up, I am happy, but when the stats are low, I start to get down on myself. Recently, the numbers have been steadily growing, causing much happiness. But that also is the worse part. I hate that when I am unable to put my heart into my work, that is when everyone wants to come to my blog. It sickens me, because that is the first impression that people get, and it isn’t a good one. It is like some girl, that you like, seeing you naked in the freezing cold. You know that you carry the pistol, but the winter breeze has caused it to turn into a shaggy bullet. Though that analogy was horrible, I hope you get the idea. I haven’t been producing the best material, so how can I expect anyone to get behind me? I surely wouldn’t want to, not after that horrible “Flash back to the past” post. I didn’t even know what I was saying during that post, but I know that it wasn’t suppose to go up that quick. That was a post that I was going to work on, then post it later this week, but I didn’t want to write, so I posted that piece of trash. I am sorry that you had to read that….

So, now you know that I have been having a horrible time, recently. But the worse part is what I have been promising. (Be prepared to hate me.) There is this great man. I know him from a prayer night, that we both attended, in the past. He is a great artist, and recently just signed a record deal. But before the flowers bloomed in his garden, this tiller came to me. He asked me to help water his ground, by promoting his work around town. I gave him a promise to get the interview ready, which I did, but after receiving the email, I told him that I would have the post up in three days. That was a week ago, and I still haven’t finished the post. I feel like complete shit, from the fact that I haven’t done anything with this post. I am usually really great with getting things done, and finishing them in a timely fashion. So, Kastle Li, if you are reading this. I am truly sorry. I shouldn’t keep you waiting, but I give you my word, that I am trying to get these things under control, and that I will have your post done, very soon. I am working on it, I just lost sight of myself. I know your not mad, but I am. I am very mad at myself.

I didn’t know that this would be the case. I didn’t know that my dream would become so stressful. I thought that all I needed was my great ability, but it is much more. It takes the patience’s of a saint, the heart of gold, and the will of God. I still have a huge road to drive down, in order to get where I need to be. But that’s the best part. The dream wouldn’t be worth living if it was easy. I would love to hear from you, tell me what I should write about!

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                        Real fast:

I want to thank someone very special to me. She has been a great fan, since she started following my blog. Her name is Angelica, and she is the sweetest fan, ever. Every time I post something, she is liking it, and commenting nice words. She is a great person, and I want to give her a quick shoutout. I love you, Angelica.  I hope you enjoy the future at Impromtstudios! Also, thanks to everyone else that likes my post, you guys are amazing. I hope to connect with you guys more, in the future!!!!!!! Thanks for your time!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Sleepy

Posted: July 2, 2016 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

    Sorry for the late night post, but I just got home from swimming. I spent the night at the YMCA, kicking back and enjoying the cool water. My cousins and aunt were awesome enough to take Ariel and I with. Thanks guys.

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      I meant to write a post, today, but I got hung up with a little bit of cleaning. I have been a crappy host to this blog, lately, and I wonder how you guys are still putting up with me. I am sorry that I haven’t been giving it my all. Life is a little hectic right now, and I am trying to juggle all of this together, but you understand that, right? You guys do! You are the best, most amazing, beautiful set of fans, that anyone could want. I will be back on track soon, I have major post coming soon, post that you won’t want to miss. I love you guys.
    Now that I am tired from swimming, my belly is full, I am tired. We swam from 5pm to 9pm. We were dunking each other, throwing the balls, and just having a great time. But now I am pooped, so I am going to bed. I love you guys, be safe, and have a fantastic night 🙂 I’ll be back!

Impromtdude

When I started this segment, I wanted to bash the church. I wanted to rip apart every believer, I was out for blood. This wasn’t going to stop until every church was on its knees, begging me to stop what I was doing, but something was changing throughout each post, the anger was weakening and I began to forget what I was so mad about. I still remember what led me out of the church, but now I shake my head at them, instead of dwelling on it. The reason being, I am better than they will ever be. I am living a good life. I have a great job, A beautiful wife, a decent head on my shoulder and this amazing blog! They might have tore me down and spit on me, but they don’t answer to me, they will answer to the same “God” as everyone else. I can’t worry about what they did, I have to get back up and find my own faith, or my own beliefs. This may take a while, and it may be a crazy idea, but its something I need to do. With this being said, I want to painfully announce….This will be one of the last post on Letters to the chapel, it had a great run, but all good things need to come to an end.

I wrote a personal worship song once, it was named “Road to Damascus.” If you have read the new testament, you should know what this story involves, but if you haven’t, allow me to explain it horribly. Saul (later Paul) was breathing threats onto Gods Disciples. He went onto the high priest and asked for the letters to the synagogues, of Damascus, so that if he did find any believers, he could take them prisoners to Jerusalem. Saul was traveling on his way to Damascus. God came to him in a light from heaven. He asked “Saul, yo Saul, why do you persecute meith?” Saul asked “Who you be, Lord?” The thunder of heaven echoed “I am Jesus, whom youi  are persecuting, now goeth into the city, and then I will let you know my plan.” All of Saul’s friends were speechless, as they heard the words. Saul, which was on the ground, got up but he couldn’t see. His friends played “Follow the leader, Saul.” And led him into the city. His blindness was only temporary, though, and he received it back in three days. In those three days,  he didn’t eat or drink anything. So, the Lord had other plans, he called upon this man, Ananias, telling him to go lay hands on the guy that harmed many saints. Ananias told him that he was coming to arrest anyone that was calling upon Gods’ name. But Jesus didn’t care, he told this stubborn man to go and do what he was told, that he had amazing plans for this man. He was a chosen instrument to go onto the gentiles and kings of Israel.

Ananias enters into the house Saul was staying, and told him “Yo you Saul? Yeah you the man, anyways I was suppose to fill you with the holy spirit.” When this happened, Saul was giving his sight back, as scales fell off his eyes. He got up and was baptized, after the baptism, he filled his body with food and regained his strength. After several days with his disciples in Damascus, he was found preaching in the synagogues that Jesus is the son of God.

I wrote the song “Road to Damascus” that was telling God to change me, while I was losing my way, and to bring me back to him. This was during a rough time in my life, where I was questioning everything about Christ. I lost my way, and I knew the only way back to Christ was to get back on the road that started it all.

The beginning of my walk was powerful. Before my walk, I didn’t want anything to do with Christ, I was wanting to cause all the Christians to stumble by making fun of them for believing. I would call them names, poke fun at their religion, I would do anything to get them to stop believing. But then I was transformed by Gods grace, during the hours of my persecuting. God wanted to use me to get into the schools, and for me to touch the young peoples lives. This was the plan, but as I talked to them about Jesus, they began to push me away, the same way the Jews pushed them away and threatened to kill him. This is when I decided to try and join with the fellow Christians, but they still thought that I was trying to make fun of them. It took awhile for them to get use to the new me, but as they got use to me, I began to use our friendship to make a difference.

     After the Church asked me to leave, I found that I was back to making fun of the church, and causing problems, hoping they would say something to show that they were fake. I didn’t get anywhere though, so I thought of writing a series called “Letters to the Chapel,” that would be my public bash fest of the church. This was the original plan, until I started to change, again. The more I wrote for this segment, the more I saw that my heart was softening. I didn’t know it, but I was back on the road of Damascus, this time the transformation was a bit slower, but it was still doing something inside. I felt bad for my previous actions, so I ended up apologizing to all the people I attacked. This doesn’t mean that I will ever go back to church, but for now it’s the best start I have. Who knows what life will bring, or what the future holds, with my religious beliefs, I just know I’m on the road to Damascus, and I don’t plan on getting off. 

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Things we say about people at work when they break something.
We all have been there. We have all been sitting in a busy restaurant, and all of a sudden someone carelessly drops a plate. The place grows silent, everyone turns their head intently searching for the cause. The employee is embarrassed, as the plate smashes on the ground, but you insist on poking fun with your friends. What are some of the best jokes can we say during these times?
“Good move, afflack.”
“Butterfingers.”
“That is coming out of your paycheck.”
“That was my dang food.”
“Go on, drop the bowl with it.”
“So much for the fine china.”
“There goes that raise.”
“You no get tip, tip pay for plate.” Chinese people.
“Best clean that up.”
“Don’t drop that plate….” “Don’t drop the dun duh duh.” 
It is a shame that accidents happen, well for the employees. I think it is important to show respect, but don’t forget to also take a minute to laugh, maybe even utter one of these phrases. Thanks for taking time to read this, I hope you guys enjoyed.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Tomorrow will begin the journey beyond the snow. It is the official beginning to the most thrilling story, I have ever wrote. I promise that this story will keep you entertained and thrilled, but also on your seat. You will feel for the characters and learn what it means to hate some characters. I am putting a lot of time into this story, so give me feedback when you can. I am proud to give you the sneak peek of the second episode:

“The people of Fairfield began to leave, one-by-one they were dying, so they thought it would be easier out on the road. They found out shortly after that it was more dangerous than they thought. The fact that everyone was leaving, caused the leader to question his sanity. This led to the leader, Dr. Grey, to begin executing the rest of the known survivors.”

This is the unedited form of this episode, and might change during the publishing process. But this will give you a nice little taste on what you should expect, tomorrow. I cant wait to share with you guys!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude