Posts Tagged ‘Scared’

Today will be a pretty simple post.canned

Today will be a quick (well not really) recap on one of my favorite nights, in a while. I want to tell you guys about my night, last night, and share with you why I think God is great and what to expect from me in the next few months, regarding content. It isn’t that my content will be changing, but with the connections that I was able to snag last night, I think we will be adding a few huge! Post to the mix up. Let’s get to the explosion!

I was stupid! That is easy to say if you know what I did two months ago. I was stupid then but I think I know better now. But the choices that you make in life have to be paid for. For my payment, I was set to pay 10 hours to the community, set by the nice judging himself. I was going to use those hours at Goodwill and just get it over quick. Something happened to where Goodwill flaked out, so I was left without a place to work. This is when my wonderful sister-in-law told me to contact her church, which is where I have been attending, well if you call 1 Wednesday, every other month, attending, then yeah its where I have been attending. I gave her mom a call and I got set up with the required 10 hours, which was going to be spent setting up for a concert/canned food drive. This concert was called “The Explosion,” and let me tell you, it was exactly what they said it was; an explosion!

I got to the church (King of Kings Christian Assembly: 520 S. Livingston St. Springfield, Illinois.) at 1:30 and was met by one of the nicest guys I have ever met. His name is Roddrick Lemar. He is a local artist that has so much talent. I fan girled, let me be freaking serious, when he started to play the piano, or was it an organ? Ah, whatever. It was so smooth, almost like when my grandma use to play her piano. It was so soothing. What made it better was that he was just as nice. He was headlining the show, yet he was there cleaning with me? That is a humble servant if you ask me. During the time of us cleaning, he was calling all his buddies, ensuring that they were going to come and get some of the radiation of the blast. I know he was playing that night, but I think his heart was more pulling towards helping the hungry. See, what was awesome about this event was that the admission was just 5 simple cans of canned goods. I feel like anyone in the world can find 5 cans of canned goods, which makes it a cake walk to come to this event. Also, all canned goods get donated to the local breadline, a service that feeds family’s that can’t afford to buy food, that’s awesome!!!

After cleaning, we began to talk about Roddrick’s future projects. I won’t spam in this post because omg we are already at 500 words, but I will let you know that we have some great stuff coming to you! We both are excited to work together and can’t wait to see what God does. Stay tuned my little Randoms! Oh! By the way, you guys have a new nickname; you are now my little Randoms. Love it? Ah, who cares; you will grow to love it.

Fast forward to 7P.M.; it’s the start of the show. I have spent the day meeting new people, enjoying the fellowship and drinking Starbucks. It was time for the freaking show, the encore, THE EXPLOSION. This concert had local and not so local talents. One guy came from Ohio, other came from ST. Loius. Long story short, these artists drove just to play at this certain show, but were they good? Let’s get to the numbers and check it out. I laugh at the fact that you guys thought there were numbers..Geez X3

There were a total of 5 listed artists on the poster, but then an added two once the show started, with the run total being 3 hours; that is a set list time of 25 minutes per artist.

The first artist was Melvin Campbell, which I had little to no time to watch, since I was still collecting the cans! But from what I heard, the guy had a great voice. I went to find him after the show to talk, but I couldn’t find him anywhere, which really sucks. Either way, BOOM LINK to his social media.

Artist dose! This was an in-house (added) musician, I think his name was Ryan, which was also during the time of collecting cans, so I am sorry if you are reading this Ryan (?) but know I was there in spirit. He was more of a gospel singer and man did he get the house to erupt. Everyone was dancing, shouting and just having a good time.

The third artist, PJae was the first artist, which I actually got to watch. He is local, I believe, and man does he have a voice. He only did 2 songs, but between those two songs, he was able to impress me. So much that I got his contact info, after the show, and I’ll be promoting him in the near future.

So the show was already halfway over, I believe it was already 8:30 p.m. and we still had 2 artist to go. Ntegrity was next (name is spelt that way, because he wants to leave himself out.) He is the one that traveled from St. Louis to play at this show. He was great, also funny. There was time to stall (tech issues), so he told 2 very corny jokes that made the house explode (see what I did there?) in laughter. He was smooth in his rap delivery and you could tell that he had God’s gift to do this. I loved his song “Precious,” which I tagged to his Spotify, check it out!

The final act was none other than Roddrick’s band, B.O.C. When I was talking to Roddrick, I thought he was a straight rapper, meaning he only rapped. This was not the case, tonight. His performance was something special. When I was in college, I got the chance to watch Chicago Mass Choir in person. It was such a blessing, because they were so talented, and really made gospel music fun. WELLLLLLLLL B.O.C was nothing short from that experience. If I could describe this band, I would say it was a blended delight of KB (rapper) and the Chicago Mass Choir. He takes the upbeat parts of gospel, and blends it together with rap, leaving us with the tastiest smoothie you could ever have. I saw more people dancing, during his set, than I did at my own high school prom. Also more sweat than a sauna, but who cares. Laugh, guys, laugh!

So all these artist, plus one lively Mc, which was a comedian that goes by the name of Justus Blessed (link to a live comedy sketch) helped to make this night a success. I counted like 74 people, I believe. Which was a great outcome since everyone brought more than 5 canned goods. I think I saw a guy bring in 48 cans of beans, by himself. But even at 5 cans per head, we are looking at 420 cans of food that will be donated on Monday! The breadline is going to be so happy, and think! We were able to feed hungry people in the area.

I am so happy that Goodwill fell through, because I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this night. There was so much talent in the room that even Kevin Durant wanted to join. We, of course, told him to go back to Golden State and make up to Green. With all joking aside, I wanted to thank everyone that helped by donating. I can’t wait to see the managers face on Monday when we drop these canned goods off. It’s going to be so heartwarming.

I wanted to end this by saying; I also got prayer, tonight. It was like the night that I got saved. I could feel God all around me. It was just the refreshment that I needed. I am starting to believe that I made that one wrong decision for a reason. I think I needed the wakeup call, so that God could use me in many ways. WE don’t have any more time to talk about it (as my editor is going to be mad at me for having this post as long as it is, but boom! Link to his page) but I will have a blog talking about that in the near future. Anyway, I love my little Randoms, and have a peachy night!

If you want to donate to the breadline, $20 dollars can feed 10 people! Boom! Link!

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    I have sadly taken another step into depression. I find myself in this boat, it feels like the boat is sinking. With that being said, I would like to take tonight off. I was going to do some amazing post, but I just don’t feel like myself, right now. I want to bring you guys to my old post from July 2015, that also happens to be another battle I had with depression. I hope you aren’t mad.:(

Have you ever felt alone? Not the type of alone that you feel when you are in a house by yourself, no I am talking about the alone that hurts. The alone that I am speaking of is the kind that even in a crowded room you feel your the only living human. You can fight this as much as you possibly can, but at the end of the day the feeling is still as strong as the beginning. You can’t shake this feeling for the life of you, it’s a feeling that is impossible to get rid of, it is a part of depression, its been the death of really great people, and I am no different!
If i’m being fully honest, I have been struggling a lot lately with feeling alone and worthless, its like I take fifteen steps forward to the point of feeling good about myself, to end up taking thirty steps back to find myself hurting from something I thought I had under control. Well the same thing that I conquered in the past, happens to be the same thing that is holding my head under water. I have been losing the battle lately with all my depression, a battle that I thought I had in the bag.
See when you get comfortable with who you are, something has to happen to try to break your spirit. It will be something that you never thought that would make you hurt, but it is the problem, it always is. My problem happens to be my job, and my boss. They both make me want to jump off a bridge to escape how they make me feel. One stresses me to do everything in my power to get everything done as fast as possible to look good, even if the price is my well being. The other is the one that makes me feel like I’m not doing a good enough job, with his smart remarks about what I do, and the way that he treats other employees.
I have worked at my job for two years, and one year with the man that puts a lot of stress on me. He is my general manager and I can just say that he can be a prick. He will go behind me and try to correct everything that I do, even with me doing everything in my power to get it done. Then there are those times where he will yell at me for not getting one thing out of a hundred done. But then again when one of my coworkers do only one of the hundred things, he praises them with candy and love. Now I don’t want that , I just want him to stop favoring the laziest people and show his hardest workers the appreciation, they deserve it more.
I don’t even like going into work anymore, where I use to strive to get called in on my day off, and it’s all because of the amount of stress that is put on me. This stress that I can’t let go of, is literally killing me more and more each day. I have become a depressed little wreck, someone that use to love their life, has become someone that doesn’t care what happens next. With this becoming a problem, I started to think of the things that I could do to become happy.
one- talking to my wife- She is such a good listener and is very positive and supportive. She supports all of my decisions even if she questions my motives. I love her for that she is amazing.
two- Installing TalkLife again- Talklife is a free application that is available on everything except window phones. The point of this application is to help those who are depressed. I have been a part of the community for almost four years, but I deleted it to get a few games on my phone. But as I saw all of my hard work to keep myself happy disappear, I decided that it was time to cry out for help once again. I originally downloaded this application to help people, but I noticed quickly, that I needed the help I was giving out. Now I am back, and it is easier to conquer the heart-wrenching feelings that this amount of stress brings onto me.
If you feel like you are hopeless in your situation, know that you aren’t. If you feel alone in your life, know that you aren’t. There are people there in your life that are feeling the same, so don’t let your pride get in the way of getting help. Someone will help you if you ask, you just have to ask!!!! I am here to help you!

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Impromtdude

Dear Passion,

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I really miss you. The time that we have spent together is amazing, but where did you go? Why can’t I get back to you? You left me, you chose to leave my side and go on by yourself. I don’t understand why you left my side, but I don’t want to do this by myself, anymore. We use to be so close, you use to be my sidekick, but now you are a mere stranger. I don’t like how I feel without you, please come back.
This career isn’t going to take off without you. I simply can’t keep this dream going without, so hear my cry and come back. This dream was the biggest part of my life, now it is simply something I do out of habit. You make it easy, but now it is hard. It was a few months ago, you packed your bags and decided to leave my side. You saw me on my knees, I was begging you to stay, but you got in the car and left. I watched as your car disappeared in the horizon.
I was crushed when you left. You don’t realize what you do to me, you are the reason I live. You have taught me to live life to the fullest, and to never give up on my dreams, so how could you give up on me, you are such a hypocrite. You told me to stop giving up so quickly, but that’s what you did. You saw that I was starting to get weak and you decided to take the easy road. You left me when I needed you the most, you showed me how much of a coward you are. Even if you tried to come back, I don’t even think I want you back.
The worse part is that you don’t know what you did. You think that I am fine without you, and that you are the same. But the truth is, without you I have gotten lazy. I no longer try at work, home, or in my side businesses. You make me want to sleep, all day, no longer wanting to pursue my future or my family. Don’t you get this? Do you understand that you are the reason for this? Do you even care? I bet you don’t care. I can see you now, you are sitting in a hotel room. The room is dark, there is one tv on but the lights are off. Your eyes look over at the clock, its 12, it was another day without you going outside. You are no longer lively. No, now you sit in your own hell. You attempt to break out of this hell, but you have no where to go. The directions to home have been lost, you lost the way back to me. That is why I am so mad, because I never mattered to you, anyways. The best part is that I have been looking for you. I stand outside of the door, to the hotel, I want to knock but I can. The fear of you not wanting to help me freezes my body, I can’t move. That is when the door opens. You stand in front of me. I feel a hand on my shoulder, I look up to see that you are looking at me. Tear-stained eyes look into mine as you reach out for me. Your body tugs me closely to yours, you give me a huge hug. For the first time, in months, you are finally back inside me.
Thank you for coming back, now lets get to work. We have a lot of work to do!!!!!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I am feeling this new change. I would like to tell you guys of the change, but I think will leave that for another blog. Today, I will tell you guys about what is happening. I want to tell you guys the effects of my decision, mainly to show you that it isn’t that bad. I haven’t found any bad from my choice, but I have found a lot has been changing. The fact that I am more confident, not only in writing but also during my work. I am happier, I feel a new happiness arising.

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     During the last week, I found that I am smiling more, even when I am mad. But the best thing is that my blog is rising. The stats are finally where I want them to be. I wanted to push myself to the next level, but I didn’t know where that was, so I called out to get some help, that is when I found this man. He was a very cool guy, he was wearing a trench coat, as he sat on the bench next to my work. He smiled, like an old friend, when he saw me. He got up from the bench, came over to me and gave me an index card. I was unsure about the card, but the logo caught my eye. His logo resembled the top of the pyramid of the dollar bill, but I couldn’t think of it at the moment, so I nervously put the card in my back pocket and walked away. As I walked away I heard the man proclaim that he had the answer to my fears, and to call him when I got my mind together. I threw up my arm and walked away.
I wanted to throw away the post card, I really did, but something was calling me to it. I didn’t know what the man meant or what sick game he was playing, but he seemed to know what I was going through. This what the moment that I had to make the decision; Would I carry my own, chasing a dream that seemed impossible or would I call him for help. After hours of sleeping on it, I decided to give him a call. He told me the keys of receiving the ultimate attention to my blog. I was amazed by his knowledge, but he said that he needed me to give him something in return. I figured this was a way to get money, so I simply chuckled. He didn’t find it as funny as me and told me that it was serious. I asked him to tell me what he needed. I wasn’t ready to hear what he said, but I knew that I was too far now to step back, so I agreed.
After I made my choice, he told me that I had to write it in stone, revealing my decision to the whole world. Knowing that my dad was going to have a heart attack, I chose to post it on the day that I closed, at my store, in order to be away from my phone when he read it. I wrote the letter, and signed it with the blood of my body. I then said the magic words, and boom I was in the club. I was now a part of something bigger than my understanding. During all of this, I was too busy seeking the instant fame, that I forgot what I just gave away and what it could do to me if I allowed it to get out of control. I started to regret my decision, fearing what I was doing, until the stats started to pour in. My blog views are higher than last week, my likes are piling in, and people are interacting with me. I even feel happier. My job has been easier, also. Costumers are drawn to me and are allowing me to keep my cool by not being stupid. I am enjoying this whole change, I couldn’t imagine being happier, and it could only get better from here on out. I am glad that I met that guy, if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have the passion to write you guys, anymore. I love you guys, I beg you to not hate me for doing this. Please realize, I am just trying to live my dream.

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   A year ago, I posted a status telling everyone about my novel, and offering someone a free copy when it came out. Since then I have scraped two versions of the story and have started to plan for a new idea. This will still have the original plan, but a different plot and storyline. I couldn’t get into the previous story, which overall just caused me to stumble back and lose interest in the story. While I lost interest in the original story, I have been planning a great new novel.
    I have started to plan the new story, which is in the outline process, and I hope to get the outline done within the next 2 months. From that point it should take 4 months to get this novel wrote. It seems impossible to get a novel wrote in 4 months, but with the help of a novel writing planner, I should be able to get this done in that time frame.
     Even though I can write the book in 4 months, it will take multiple months to get it fully edited, to the point of what I would want my name on. Either way, I really can’t wait to get this done, so I can finally say that I’m an Author.
     I am also working on the “The good, the great, the best.” Which is a project bringing all my great work together, slowly preparing my portfolio. I have a lot of post to go through, and that’s what Is taking so long on that project.
     I have a lot on my plate, and I couldn’t be more excited about it. This is the life of a writer. We start multiple projects and must find a way to get them all done, in a timely fashion. But I am excited, nonetheless. It feels good to see things coming together. I wanted to let everyone know that I am still working hard on those projects, and that I am hoping to have them done very soon! Thanks for all the support.

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Impromtdude

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     The day, at work, was just beginning. I was tired from the lack of sleep, so I was a little behind. But it was 7 a.m. This was the time that we were suppose to be open. I told myself that I would catch up the other stuff as soon as I opened. As I went to open the gate, I remembered that I needed a bag of popcorn. Knowing that I had a few seconds, I ran back and grabbed one solo bag. This was at the same time I heard my co-worker tell someone I was coming. I ran to the front of the story, huffing from annoyance. Saying under my breath “You could just go to another store.” I didn’t mean it, I just get annoyed by the impatience of people. I understand it was 7, but you could also just calm down, since it was only 7:01.

      I get up to the front of the store and see two people standing on the other side of our fenced down. I slide one side of the door open, and they shot into the store and up to the register, almost as they were about to shout out their order. I took my time opening the other side of the fence. At this time, the lady looks over at me and smiles. I could tell that she was going to be very sweet and caring, so I hurried with the door and walked over to my register. I greeted her, took her order, and began to make her small black coffee. This was when I noticed something from the corner of my eye. The other person was gone, he left. I hate when costumers leave, because I want to give everyone the best customer service ever, but with our selected menu, I figured he wanted something we didn’t have. I handed this lady her coffee, and walked to the back to grab a line of cups. I round the corner to see another couple coming into the store. I walked to the front, dropped some hashbrowns, and took their order. They wanted a simple 2 meals. I filled the orders within minutes and took it out to their table. They were all smiles and giggles. I got a little energy from them as I was still trying to wake up.

      Twenty minutes go by, it is now 7:26 a.m. I was in the middle of another order when the phone rings. The phone only rings at this time in the morning if someone wants to borrow something, or someone is trying to call off. I couldn’t answer it, anyway, since I had a customer in front of me. I heard the ringing stop, figuring it was them hanging up I went back to doing my job. Moments after getting the people out of my lobby, my co-worker came up to me with the phone to his ear. bI gave him a look, a “who dat” look, he mumbled a few things and then handed me the phone. I greeted the lady over the phone, but she jumped straight to the point. “This is the 911 dispatcher, we just got a call, from a lady, saying you guys were being held up?” I laughed inside and replied “MAM, that is impossible, we have only been open for a few minutes.” She replied “This call was from a few minutes ago. The lady said she was in the store when a guy walked up, he called your co-worker to the side and slid him something in a napkin. Your co-worker slid the napkin under the counter and handed him money. We need to know, did he force you to give him money. Are you okay?”
  
      I realized this was no joke, and I quickly told her that we were okay, and that if anything was going on, we would not hesitate to give her a call. She sounded relieved as she told me to have a good day. After getting off the phone, I walked up to my co-worker and told him the situation. He shook his head and tld me that he owed him money and that he didn’t want the lady thinking he was drug dealing, so he placed the money in a napkin and gave it to him. We both chuckled at the situation and went along with our day, writing little hold up notes the whole day.
     
     In this world, there are some crazy people. I understand that this lady was trying to help, but the better way to help is to not leave. She never nudged me about the situation, or even gave hints that there was anything going on. She simply left. What if we were actually being held up? At the time that she called, the store would have been robbed. All I am saying, is maybe next time, she should stay until she knows that we okay. Nonetheless, we do appreciate the lady for caring, and want to llet her know that we are glad she profiled the black male that was getting his money back. Without you, this world woruldnt be safe

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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It has been very hot here. Even in the past, through the heat, I have been able to write. But this heat is a lot worse than before. This heat has been kicking my butt, and is causing me to stand far from my laptop, and away from the writing world. The sweat is in my eyes, the heat is getting to my head, the words are becoming my worse nightmares. This heat needs to stop, or I might be dying….or at least writing from my bathtub.

Yesterday, while being on my day off, I attempted to write a new post. This was the post that went up yesterday, a post that I thought was going to be amazing. This it was, but it came at a great cost. The weather was, as it is today, a burning hell. This helped my house become a oven, and it happened that I was a loaf of bread, raising and burning in that oven. It was nice when I got home from doing my morning drive, I hoped that the day would be this nice. When I got home, I took a small nap in attempt to clear my head and get ready for a day of writing. This was the plan but that didn’t happen.

I woke up from my nap and I had a big headache. This was just great, how could I write if I had a headache? I asked myself, so in attempt to lose the headache, I jumped in a cool shower. The shower helped my head get off ten. I was feeling pretty good, but it also took a lot of my time away from writing. I knew that I needed to make up for that time, so I decided to pace myself enough to get everything done, this was averaging 2 post per hour for 3 hours. This was going to be a rough task, but it was needed to be done.

    I got out of the shower, and sat down at my desk. My hair was still wet, my eyes were still blurry from the water, but I needed to get start. My damp fingers began to type a beautiful post, but as I got to the end of that post, I saw the words in a whole new set of eyes. My eyesight was close to gone, it was blurry, my head was back at ten and I was breaking out into a sweat. I felt dizzy, so I found myself on the floor, looking up at the ceiling. The thought of the post was on my mind, I knew that I needed to get this post done, so ignoring the dizziness, I got back up on my chair and tried to finish the post. It was going all right, but then I fell out of my chair.

I found myself next to a fan, knowing that was the problem, I was hot. I tried to do too much with an overheated body and it caused me to miss out on a boat load of time to write. That is my fault. I shouldn’t have forced myself to go so hard, especially knowing my body and how it reacts to the heat. I do promise to be more careful, but also this could be a sign that I need to get away from the heat. With Alaska being a dream home, maybe the evidence of not being able to write in heat will persuade my wife to move. This is hopeless thinking, but it is worth the try. So Ariel, if you are reading, please do me a favor and pack our stuff, we are moving when I’m done. To all my fans, I am currently in a bathtub, writing you guys this post. The ice is melting, that is how hot I am, so if you wouldn’t mind, close the f$%^#@% door, geez you guys are so inappropriate! Can’t I write without people peaking into my bathroom……   

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

The lights were dim, the people were ready for the show to begin, but I wasn’t. I rehearsed this song almost a dozen times, but now, in front of people, I felt sick to my stomach. The fear of puking on stage was unbearable to think of, but I was already on the stage, there was no time for me to back out. It’s not like I had the choice to do so, anyways. I promised my friend that we would go through with this, he was excited to be the lead guitarist, and the backup to me. I think he wanted to play this show, even more than I did. He was strapped up and tuned in hours before I even had my pants on. He was ready, I wasn’t. The show started with a few acts that were mediocre, which could have been from their lack of musical talent, or it could have been the songs they chose, either way, I knew we would at least do better than they did. With each person going up to the stage, I saw that my name was getting closer to the top. Soon enough, I saw that I was on deck.
   I can’t explain how I felt while reading my name. I was so nervous of messing up, I almost left, but as I walked to the side door, to go down stairs, my back-up ran over to me. He grabbed me by the shoulder, and told me that we needed to practice, one more time, before the show started. I glimpsed into his pride-filled eyes and shook my head. As a child in a toy store, he shimmered into the “practice room”, a small room on the side of the stage, no bigger than 15 feet each way. It was a very small room, which made it even worse as I couldn’t breath as it was, now we get to suffocate in this room. This night was going to end in a distaste; I just knew it! He shut the door softly behind us, the music in the background started to slow down, indicating the last act was about to end. There wouldn’t be enough time for us to practice, no, we only had time to tune and get out on stage. But for some reason the guy still wanted to practice, so I humored him.
    I started to strum my guitar quickly, ending the song minutes before the original, he shook his head, but then laughed. With a sweaty lip, I chuckled and gave him a high-five. The last act came rushing through the door, they were excited, way too excited. They were slapping each others hand, as a sign of “amazing job, I love you.” Ignoring them, I listened for the que to go on the stage, and seconds later, the pastor called us out. She sounded very excited to see what we had in hold. I might have talked us up a bit, as a note, but she seemed really happy to say my name. I sent the lead out first, then I made a dramatic entrance.
   The crowd was nerve wracking, they all stared blankly onto the stage, as if I wasn’t on the stage, already. With blood rushing through my head and down my arms, causing sweat pits to form, I began to play happy birthday. I happened to learn it at the same time as the song, so I wanted to honor the pastors B-day. The crowd stood in awe, as I finished the recognition, as did the pastor. She had a small tear in her eye as she said thanks. I smiled and told her that we loved her, she responded the same way. Now, I had no tricks up my sleeve, it was solely time for me to play the song, I had been practicing, all week. It was “How he loves us by David Crowder Band.” I happened to hear it on a radio station, and loved it. When the church announced a open-mic night, I rushed to my friend, and told him we had to do it. With one week left, I had to, not only learn the song, I also had to teach the song in the way I wanted to play it. It took hours, each day, but finally, on the night before, after hours of practicing, we finally hit every note. We were ready, until we got to the church. But now we were here, in front of the crowd, it was now time to prove that the week wasn’t a waste.
    I put my mouth against the microphone and spoke to the crowd. I remember the crowd telling me to push against the mic, since they couldn’t hear me. But the closer I got, to the crowd, the more nervous I got. After getting the mic to cooperate with me, I began to strum softly. I told the crowd what we were about to sing, but in the middle of my speech, I hear the soft hum of an electric guitar. My side-kick made it easy for me to start, as he began to play; though I am not a good singer, that night my heart was in it, causing my voice to soar. The comparison could be made to a white dove. But as I finished the first verse, I lost track, and my lead began to go to fast, losing his rhythm. With his rhythm gone, the song was likely going to fail. I turned around, after the first verse, and let out a moan. I was mad, angry, pissed. I am glad that the string were new, because they took a mighty beating that night. I looked at my lead, he looked at me knowing I was pissed. But I couldn’t stop the song, I had one option, to play through it. I turned back around, and started the song from the first verse, again. The crowd seem to like this rendition, but I hated it.
   The rest of the performance, even after nailing the tricky bridge, I had the beginning stuck in my head. I tried to shake it, but I couldn’t. After a week of practicing, we still messed up. I was in outer shock, but as I wrapped the song up, the crowd went wild. I tipped my guitar at the crowd, showing my appreciation, and told everyone to have a good night. As I left the stage, a crowd of young adults met me, they were all congratulating me on my performance, I said thanks, still in annoyance of my performance. I went to the back of the church and took a seat. Before I knew it, the night was over. The talent was gone, and the show was over. It was now the time for the supper. The best part, other than this being my first show, of this night. There was chili; nothing in this world is better than chili.
   As I walked down stairs, I lost the anger behind the verse, I messed up on, and found happiness in my accomplishment. Maybe I did mess up, but that’s okay. The best part is that I never gave up! Even if I failed, I can still say that I finished the song, where most would have ran away, crying their eyes out. 

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

We are a big part of blogs that usually work. This means that we are doing very well, and maximizing our chances on getting noticed. With most blogs, they only focus on one thing, which will bring in a lot of people, but there is always a stop to their views. That is because, those people will find what they need and leave. I have been a firm believer that a blog cant stand on one topic or style alone. But they need to branch out and find new styles and topics to express in their blogs. I am proud to say that out of 32 blog types that work, we have practice 18 of them.
1. Interviews
2. Problem fixing
3. Behind the scenes
4. Inspiring stories
5. Funny post
6. Thinking out loud
7. Rants
8. Guest bloggers
9. Stats
10. Previews
11. Search twitter questions
12. Open letters
13. Thankful post
14. Best source of inspiration
15. Aspirations for blog
16. Awareness
17. Recycling old post
18. List.
Some of these types are hidden within post, but are still there. I am showing you this, so if someone asks what impromtdude is you can confidently say; he is a blogger that isnt scared to think outside of the box, and isn’t just about one topic, and isn’t scared to stick to one style. Impromtdude, to me, stands for “A blog that isnt afraid to go places other blogs wont.” 

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

My fear
    This is about a fear that has slowly been growing, as the time goes on. This fear is one that I can not control, even if I wanted to. I cant control those who read this, I cant force people to be there for me. That is something that I have always had a problem with. I lose so many friends, my heart can’t take it anymore. Over the years, my friendliest has shrunk and shrunk, to the point I have a handful of friends, if even that. Everyone seems to want to leave, which prompts my fear of being alone one day.
    I have always had the fear of being alone, that no one will be there one day,  when I awake. I cant sleep at night, because I keep replaying the fact that I use to have so many friends, and now I sit at tables fully alone. I use to have a lot of people that use to care about me, yet now I am chopped liver to them. Maybe I was always chopped liver, but maybe they were hungry. I might only be good to people that need what I have, or maybe I have changed a lot and they cant accept it. Either way, I have seen that people have turned their back on me, sadly they are the same people that said they never would. They promised to be there for me, no matter the cost, yet when the prices went up they scrammed.
    I use to consider these people my family, I supped with them as they supped with me. I feel dishonored that I opened my house to them, yet they threw me out into the shed. I treated them with fine dinner ware full of the best roast, but they gave me noodles on a paper plate. I picked them out of the tub of water, yet when I was drowning, they poured their last bucket into the waves.
    I know this post isn’t like my other ones, but usually I am not hurt like this. I feel like I broke my back for those people, but they didn’t repay me. No! They left my side when I needed them the most. I haven’t heard from them, not even a post on my wall. I remember waking up, on other days, with over a hundred post on my Facebook wall. Lately, I haven’t heard from anyone, and when someone reached out, it was family friends as others were family members. I post on their walls, so why do I get disrespected like this. Why do I get to feel alone, a fear that is getting confirmed each day.
   I know that it shouldn’t matter, but to me it does. I hate to feel alone, but I still do. I feel that they wouldn’t mind if I were gone, or not. I pray that if you are reading this, we are friends. I wouldn’t want a stranger thinking this is who I am. I ensure you, I am a positive soul, just when you put time and energy into someone and they turn their back on you, you feel like you are worthless. I fear being alone, hopefully its only a fear……..

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude