Posts Tagged ‘on’

What is happening and why is it happening again?

This always happens to me, I find some kind of happiness then it is sucked away. I over examine everything that I do in my life and usually over examine what other people say and do. People have done some things to me in my life, but it has never been as serious as I make it to be. Yeah, we could talk about my mother, but that isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about the fact that people leave me behind and move on. They take me into the woods and leave me like an unwanted dog. I then have to find my way back home, praying that someone will eventually keep me in their home. This is just a thought, though. I am not alone, of course, but sometimes it feels like it. I have a wife, she is the best thing in my life, but sometimes I just want to have someone check in on me. I want a friend to check to make sure that I am fine, but that is wishful thinking, I guess. They stay for a few months, but everyone gets tired of ol’ Blake. They find someone better and will leave.

This is when things get worse for me. This is when anxiety gets into my veins and begin to rot my inner peace. I try to hold on.  It is hard to hold on to a sharp knife. The knife begins to cut your hand and eventually you will let go, this is what anxiety feels like. Anxiety for me has been a horrible battle. I am usually a pretty awesome guy, I want to make everyone happy (well most of the time) until the knife begins to cut, again. When the knife is pressed against my hand, I don’t want anyone to talk to me. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to be better, I just want to do what I have always done, slowly sink to the back of the room. It becomes harder to get out of this state, the more that I get into this kind of mood.

Recently, I have found myself in this state. I had to hide behind my crew, because I didn’t want to take any orders, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to be at work, it was the last thing that I wanted to do. I push people away and make them feel like I hate them when I have this knife pressed against my hand. I tell people to leave and to never come back, but then I want to chase them down, but I have pride so I will sit back and watch them leave. The worst part is that I will blame them because they left. I pushed them into a battlefield, yet I will say that they shot the first bullet. I could understand why these people don’t want to be around me.

I wouldn’t want anyone to hurt me then blame me for them hurting me. I do get that, but I don’t understand why so many don’t want to be around me. I understand that I treat others like shit, but I am talking about those who I don’t even know. They walk out of my life, leaving me to wonder what I did wrong and how I can change myself. These people make me hate my life and then I get more depressed and push more people away.

My anxiety is horrible, I just want to be normal. I want to keep people near me and show others that I am not a creep or something in that nature. I think I am a good swing for those who want to be friends. I just want to know what is wrong with me. Anxiety is horrible. This is where I am right now, full of it. I might be trying to keep ahold of this knife, but I know that I am one nudge away from losing it. .

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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I’m here…don’t worry….Shut up, I know I’m late. I was busy doing something with Bart and the gang, but I am here now. Today, we will talk Football, even if I haven’t been watching. Since I haven’t been watching the games I thought we would do something new. I recently brought Bart into the house. This week only, Bart will be making the selections. He is a genius!
Redskins @ Eagles
Winner: The flying birds. (Eagles)

Texans @ Colts
Winner: Horseshoes. (Colts)

Bengals @ Browns
Winner: Brown helmets!

Broncos @ Titans
Winner: Horsey!!!!

Cardinals @ Dolphins
Winner: Jumping fish!!! (Dolphins)

Bears @ Lions
Winner: C (Bears)

Steelers @ Bills
Winner: Colorful circle! (Steelers

Chargers @ Panthers
Winner: Blue Cat (Panthers)

Vikings @ Jags
Winner: Goldey locks? (Vikings)

Jets @ 49ers
Winner: Nap Time!!! (Noone!!!)

Falcons @ Rams
Winner: The F (Falcons)

Saints @ Bucs
Winner: Flags (Bucs)

Seahawks @ Packers
Winner: I will not vote for the enemy (Seahawks)

Cowboys @ Giants
Winner: Grey star (Cowboys)

Ravens @ Patriots
Winner:Cheaters!!!! (Pats)

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Hopefully this doesn’t kill my record, but he was too excited to not let him pick the winners! My record is 103-69-2, let’s see how Bart does….

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Week 2 is on its way. We are here to bring you the predictions for this weeks matchups. I totally biffed and forgot about Thursday….But we all knew Jets had it. Either way, we are here to see who will win the other games. I also include what game I thought would be the closest. I want you to tell me who you think will win, so go ahead and express your love!
      Note: Something went wrong when bringing over the text that caused everything to be capalized…I will fix this by next week….promise!!!

                                                                             My prediction record: 0-0
49ERS AT PANTHERS
Winner: Panthers

COWBOYS AT REDSKINS
      WINNER: COWBOYS

BENGALS AT STEELERS
Winner: Steelers

SAINTS AT GIANTS
Winner: Saints

DOLPHINS AT PATRIOTS
Winner: Patriots

CHIEFS AT TEXANS
Winner: Texans

TITANS AT LIONS
WINNER: TITANS———-CLOSE GAME 17-14

RAVENS AT BROWNS
WINNER: RAVENS

SEAHAWKS AT RAMS
WINNER: SEAHAWKS

BUCCANEERS AT CARDINALS
WINNER: CARDINALS

JAGUARS AT CHARGERS
Winner: Jaguars

FALCONS AT RAIDERS
Winner: Raiders

COLTS AT BRONCOS
Winner: Broncos

PACKERS AT VIKINGS
Winner: Packers

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19TH

EAGLES AT BEARS
Winner: Bears

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Computer vs. Phone.

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There is a place for everything. In life there isn’t enough time for everything, but there is enough time for anything. You just have to pick how you want to spend your time, and how you will do the such activities. If you are like me, you would choose to write but the problem would be, how do you do the activity, with your life being at a fast pace, a speed that causes most people to stop doing any extracurricular activities, and the answer is to do it at every free second. Now how is it possible to write when you don’t have a computer, how do I do it? The answer is simple, I write smaller thoughts through my mobile device.

Though, I like to write my blogs on the computer, so they are safe and saved for future reference, sometimes I am too busy to sit down at a computer, and spend thirty-minutes writing. Life is too busy to do that, at all times, so there has to be some kind of middle ground, just incase I cant get to my computer. That is why I love using my mobile device to write, especially when I’m out of town.

I don’t write anything special, on my phone, because I want to have a saved copy of the work. In those cases, which I can’t get to my computer, I will write short blogs (usually revolving around my day) that will allow me to post something, and give me some more time to get home, to my computer. I usually don’t like to post, off my phone, but it is needed for the emergency moments. This is why I love that I have a smart phone, and why I love how far our generation has come.

I would love to always be around my computer, and to send out amazing blogs with it, every night. This doesn’t happen, though, sometimes life calls me other places, and I can’t say no. But I also have this as my second job, which means that I can’t allow small things to get in my way. This is why I love my computer and my mobile device, they are both amazing for writing! Both help me become the most amazing writer, ever! 

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude