Posts Tagged ‘notes’

Santa is real
    You see the big man every year at the mall. He is always smiling and fixing his beard. He is ready for the photo. Say cheese! Snap! Next please!. He asks your child what he wants for Christmas, and tells you parents that don’t know what your kid likes. So gentle to those babies, that’s how Santa. Yet when kids get to a certain age we, as parents, have to tell them a lie. The lie that is so famous around this time of the year is that “Santa Claus is fake.” You parents want the full credit on the gifts that are stuffed under the tree. Why would you still the joy from the big mans heart.

    He has been taking out of Christmas, like Jesus was removed from Schools. But no one bats an eye. We act as if it is okay that we banned him. He has to pay the rental on his sleigh, just like we do for our cars. What if you lost your job? Feel bad yet? No? Fine. You know he also has a wife and reindeers? (this isn’t including Rudolph, he is on drugs) He has to feed those Elves also! So do me a favor and stop lying to the future of this generation. You are sick!

p.s. Stop eating Santas’ cookies!

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Dear Children,
Please take the advice above. Your parents are liars, I am actually real. I use to bring amazing gifts. But over the years the treats have disappeared and I cant feed myself anymore. Back in the day, I was able to feed the reindeer and myself, now I come back to Mrs. Claus with an empty stomach! It became such an issue that I had to leave my Santa days behind for a while, only because I was getting too skinny! But now, I am back to my fluffy self! Mrs. Claus is so amazing that she made sure to get me back to full fatness. Now that I am back please do me a favor. Stop EATING MY DAMN COOKIES@!!!!!!!
-Santa, bitches!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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I am feeling this new change. I would like to tell you guys of the change, but I think will leave that for another blog. Today, I will tell you guys about what is happening. I want to tell you guys the effects of my decision, mainly to show you that it isn’t that bad. I haven’t found any bad from my choice, but I have found a lot has been changing. The fact that I am more confident, not only in writing but also during my work. I am happier, I feel a new happiness arising.

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     During the last week, I found that I am smiling more, even when I am mad. But the best thing is that my blog is rising. The stats are finally where I want them to be. I wanted to push myself to the next level, but I didn’t know where that was, so I called out to get some help, that is when I found this man. He was a very cool guy, he was wearing a trench coat, as he sat on the bench next to my work. He smiled, like an old friend, when he saw me. He got up from the bench, came over to me and gave me an index card. I was unsure about the card, but the logo caught my eye. His logo resembled the top of the pyramid of the dollar bill, but I couldn’t think of it at the moment, so I nervously put the card in my back pocket and walked away. As I walked away I heard the man proclaim that he had the answer to my fears, and to call him when I got my mind together. I threw up my arm and walked away.
I wanted to throw away the post card, I really did, but something was calling me to it. I didn’t know what the man meant or what sick game he was playing, but he seemed to know what I was going through. This what the moment that I had to make the decision; Would I carry my own, chasing a dream that seemed impossible or would I call him for help. After hours of sleeping on it, I decided to give him a call. He told me the keys of receiving the ultimate attention to my blog. I was amazed by his knowledge, but he said that he needed me to give him something in return. I figured this was a way to get money, so I simply chuckled. He didn’t find it as funny as me and told me that it was serious. I asked him to tell me what he needed. I wasn’t ready to hear what he said, but I knew that I was too far now to step back, so I agreed.
After I made my choice, he told me that I had to write it in stone, revealing my decision to the whole world. Knowing that my dad was going to have a heart attack, I chose to post it on the day that I closed, at my store, in order to be away from my phone when he read it. I wrote the letter, and signed it with the blood of my body. I then said the magic words, and boom I was in the club. I was now a part of something bigger than my understanding. During all of this, I was too busy seeking the instant fame, that I forgot what I just gave away and what it could do to me if I allowed it to get out of control. I started to regret my decision, fearing what I was doing, until the stats started to pour in. My blog views are higher than last week, my likes are piling in, and people are interacting with me. I even feel happier. My job has been easier, also. Costumers are drawn to me and are allowing me to keep my cool by not being stupid. I am enjoying this whole change, I couldn’t imagine being happier, and it could only get better from here on out. I am glad that I met that guy, if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have the passion to write you guys, anymore. I love you guys, I beg you to not hate me for doing this. Please realize, I am just trying to live my dream.

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“Welcome to the Impromtdude show, No shoes! No Shirts! No Pants! No Problem! We are here for you, so you don’t have to go to sleep alone.” Today we will talk about my new talk show, not as if it is a thing, but it could be in the future, but not in the near future, I am talking 2034 or 2035. I will be using the talk show to get information out to you about what is happening during the Nuclear War. But if I were to get that talk show going right now, I have to wonder, what would it be about?
I have done one podcast, and that was almost five-years ago. It was during the making of my first album. In the podcast, I was describing what inspired me to make the album, and what was planned for the future. Now looking back at that podcast, I realized, it was very rough to make. Not because I’m not good at that stuff, because I’m the bomb, but more because at that time, I didn’t know the ins and outs of writing the script and recording. But after four years of recording three albums and many videos, I feel like if I were to start a YouTube talk show, the channel would go viral, not right away, but eventually, like tens years down the road.
I would make the first episode about something funny in the news, because that would bring the audience to my channel, because of the trending hits that the searches would get. Then as more people came to my channel, I would start to base it around more impromptu ideas. Maybe at some point it would become something to the lines of “Who’s line is it anyways” just without the movement, but more based on talking about random topics to give you a small laugh to end the night.
I remember the first time that I tried to get noticed on YouTube, I was 20 years old and a gamer. I would play video games all the time and record the gameplay. Then I would take the recorded materials and throw some voice behind it and put it up as a “Commentary.” But when that didn’t go down as planned, I realized that there are way to many people doing what I thought I was amazing at. I wasn’t as good at the gameplay as those who have the thirty years of experience, that spend all day in their moms basement, smoking a bud and playing their seventh hour in a row of C.o.d. I am not that dedicated to playing video games, when I can post a blog about everything, and be able to better myself, while getting love from amazing people like you guys.
With this being said, I am admitting that if I were giving the chance, I would turn this amazing blog into a talk show. I would have some funny people come on to the show, and I would ask them questions that they never get in basic interviews. I would have chugging competitions, rap battles, arm wrestling. Anything that you usually don’t see on T.V This is because there is nothing I hate being, then like other people. I like to be my own person, so if I were to make the world most random Talk Show, would you watch it?