Posts Tagged ‘New’

What is happening and why is it happening again?

This always happens to me, I find some kind of happiness then it is sucked away. I over examine everything that I do in my life and usually over examine what other people say and do. People have done some things to me in my life, but it has never been as serious as I make it to be. Yeah, we could talk about my mother, but that isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about the fact that people leave me behind and move on. They take me into the woods and leave me like an unwanted dog. I then have to find my way back home, praying that someone will eventually keep me in their home. This is just a thought, though. I am not alone, of course, but sometimes it feels like it. I have a wife, she is the best thing in my life, but sometimes I just want to have someone check in on me. I want a friend to check to make sure that I am fine, but that is wishful thinking, I guess. They stay for a few months, but everyone gets tired of ol’ Blake. They find someone better and will leave.

This is when things get worse for me. This is when anxiety gets into my veins and begin to rot my inner peace. I try to hold on.  It is hard to hold on to a sharp knife. The knife begins to cut your hand and eventually you will let go, this is what anxiety feels like. Anxiety for me has been a horrible battle. I am usually a pretty awesome guy, I want to make everyone happy (well most of the time) until the knife begins to cut, again. When the knife is pressed against my hand, I don’t want anyone to talk to me. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to be better, I just want to do what I have always done, slowly sink to the back of the room. It becomes harder to get out of this state, the more that I get into this kind of mood.

Recently, I have found myself in this state. I had to hide behind my crew, because I didn’t want to take any orders, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to be at work, it was the last thing that I wanted to do. I push people away and make them feel like I hate them when I have this knife pressed against my hand. I tell people to leave and to never come back, but then I want to chase them down, but I have pride so I will sit back and watch them leave. The worst part is that I will blame them because they left. I pushed them into a battlefield, yet I will say that they shot the first bullet. I could understand why these people don’t want to be around me.

I wouldn’t want anyone to hurt me then blame me for them hurting me. I do get that, but I don’t understand why so many don’t want to be around me. I understand that I treat others like shit, but I am talking about those who I don’t even know. They walk out of my life, leaving me to wonder what I did wrong and how I can change myself. These people make me hate my life and then I get more depressed and push more people away.

My anxiety is horrible, I just want to be normal. I want to keep people near me and show others that I am not a creep or something in that nature. I think I am a good swing for those who want to be friends. I just want to know what is wrong with me. Anxiety is horrible. This is where I am right now, full of it. I might be trying to keep ahold of this knife, but I know that I am one nudge away from losing it. .

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We have a launch! 
  It has been a few months since Halloween. It was during that time that I started doing FX make-up. I am fully self-taught in this artform, but I can say that I am catching on. 

   Well, after my biggest fail during Halloween (my failed zombie) I must have lost focus, because I stopped doing any effects. It was until, just recently, that I got back into it. But to touch base with what happened; Ariel wanted to be a zombie, so I thought it would have been easy. This was my first time working on someone else. I prepped up the materials, I watched a video of someone else doing the effect, I thought I had it. I went to do the effect, and I chose a different path. I knew what I needed to do, but I thought about another way to do it (something I never tried) so I did that. I didn’t like how the finished product didn’t come out well, so I never shared what it looked like. After that effect, I chose to take a break. I didn’t know that I took this break until recently. 

   After a while, I chose that I wanted to do another effect. This is when I thought about a sliced open arm. I knew how to do it, what I needed, how long it would take, and much more. I just didn’t know when to do it. Finally, I took a night and did it. I didn’t have scissors so I ended up hurting the effect. Mainly, I ripped the latex while trying to open it. Either way, I enjoyed this effect and it turned out great!!! 

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After this effect, I ended up doing a project for my anniversary. Today, is my anniversary. We have been together for 4 years. Ariel is a huge fan of The Walking Dead. She loves it and watches it every Sunday. I have been wanting to make, Lucille. If you don’t know, Lucille is Negans barbed wire bat. To do the project, I made my own barbed wire with just regular hanging wires. I finished the project and gave it to my beautiful girl. 


 She’s a beauty 😉

Now, I spent a few hours with water colors, last night. I ended up doing two bruises 


Then, there is tonight. I wanted to do something small. So, I pulled out my bone collection and started to play with playdough. I have a big project Coming up, so I need to practice with molding bones. This is why I made a finger bone. I am not that good, quite yet, but I am getting there. I think this is good for my first time 

I have a lot more coming, I just wanted to tell you what I am working on. Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed what you saw. Have a good night, as I leave to spend time with my girl. It’s our anniversary, today! 

Why don’t I use my new tablet?
It has been three weeks since Christmas. On Christmas I received the best gift, ever. I was giving a gift, from my wife, that I couldn’t love anymore than I already do. The biggest problem is I haven’t used it. The tablet has sat in my desk since that first day, without being used by anyone; I haven’t even powered it on. The one question I must answer is “Why?”

To answer this question, we must first take a look into my brain. I am the type of man that has to allow things to get dusty before I use them. I am being serious. I still have a pair of shoes that I haven’t even tried on. The shoes are so sexy. They are blue Pumas that I have always wanted. But since I have already have shoes, I chose to leave these shoes alone, for now.

I think its because I never had new things growing up. Yes, I was giving things from my dad but what I mean is that I wasn’t showered with gifts.  I was giving enough to be happy, which is great but, I wasn’t like others that got everything that they want, so its different when I get new things. I cherish the new things that I get. I love this thing about me, I wouldn’t change anything. But it also gets crazy when I let good things sit off to the side while I watch it get dusty.

Now back to the tablet. I love the tablet, I just happen to love this one, also. I guess it’s because of all the work that is on this device. There is something special about this tablet. It was my first big gift from Ariel, maybe that’s why. But the most reasonable answer is because this still has life. This tablet will be used until it dies, then (and only then) will this device be buried. With this being said, I think I am going to start using the other tablet soon. I think the other tablet is going to compliment my writing, since it actually has a backspace button! I don’t know though. I guess we will have to see.

Anyway, thank you guys for reading. I greatly appreciate you. I don’t know why I wanted to tell you guys this, but I feel better now. Sometimes, you just have to express dumber feelings to feel better. This is why I am glad that I wrote this…Have a good night!

What is something weird that you do?

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Whoo buddy! 2017 is finally here.

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It is no longer 2016. We have turned the page and we are now looking towards the future. I’m glad to say that 2016 doesn’t have a tie on me anymore, because that year sucked. But, with faith, I believe 2017 will be the year for some amazing breakthroughs as addition to all the other amazing things that will happen. To make this year great, I want to actually make some resolutions. Resolutions for myself have never worked out. I always lose the paper and forget what I set myself out to do during the 365 days! This year, I am taking precaution and telling you guys. Feel free to keep me accountable to my goals, because I know it will be tough to complete all of these things. Lets get started.

10. Get the hell out of dodge. We (Ariel and I) are tired of this place. We have dealt with some nasty things in this house and I am done. Our landlord doesn’t want to take our complaints serious, even though there is mold in the walls, so we will show her. We will leave this place and finally buy our own house. I have been so stubborn with making that decision, but with the car accident happening, I don’t want to have to learn another “lesson” so it’s time to leave.

9. Cut Soda will be the hardest thing, ever. I love to drink MTN Dew and other various carbonated drinks, but honestly; that stuff is poison to your body. This is why I have made the decision to make tonight my last night with soda.

8. Eat healthier and taking care of my body more is just as important. I have falling off the deep-end and I don’t know how to swim. I really hate how I feel, so why not make the change? This comes with a better lifestyle. If I want to be fit then I will have to eat like a fit person.

7. Getting glasses. I know that I have needed glasses and I am going to do something about that now! I am going to a doctors office and I will be getting glasses. Life is about cherishing the small moments, but how can I cherish them if I can’t see them? I might be scared, but I need it done!

6. Surrounding myself with people that love me. My whole life I have been the man on the outside. It was a nice place to be because then it was harder to get hurt, but that life is sucky, also. This year, I want to spend time getting to know people, going out with people more, and embracing those who love me. Happiness is found in those who love you, its time to let those people in.

5. Read and write more is important. I have a thousand books, but I never read them. Stephen King says “A good writer is a good reader.” I can’t become the best writer if I refuse to read. Also, I need to  write more on my two novels. I keep saying I want to write a novel, yet I have two in the process. It is time to stop being lazy and get them written.

4. Be happier at work. I am a Debby downer when I am at work. One small thing happens and it ruins my mood. This has to change in 2017. I have to find that love for my job, or I might need to find a new job. Either way, I can’t be miserable at a place for the majority of the day, anymore. It is time to be happier!

3. Be nicer. Now, it is okay to be sarcastic, but I must also know when it’s gone too far. This year, I will learn to be nicer in certain situations, because I want people to like me, which cant happen if I’m being a complete asshole.

2. Achieve my goal in Special Effects. I said I wanted to eventually be a makeup artist at a haunted house. This is my first big milestone, so this year I want to achieve that. If that is all I do in special effects, that is okay with me!

1. Raise Impromtdude to the next level/Blogging for money has always been a dream. This dream will come true this year. I’m going to set my whole being to make sure this happens. I am tired of staying in the same place; it is time for a change. Get ready, 2017, its go time!

These are just a few of many goals. I have a lot planned for 2017 and I am ready to take it all on. There is no time to wait, anymore. I am ready to do great things. It is time to find my happiness in this world, more happiness than the day I met Ariel. It is time to find my purpose. Are you ready? If not, you better get ready because it is now 2017! Happy New Year!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Christmas is over.

Thank goodness for Christmas being over. This season has brought nothing but stress and fights, but it is over guys! Now, we get to look forward to a new year! 2016 was a pretty crappy year, but I have a feeling that 2017 will be a whole lot better! Even with the year not being the best, I have to look back on some great things that did happen, then I will write a short goal for 2017. I do plan on doing a New Years resolution post, but that will be on Sunday!!!

In 2016, We started out strong here on Impromtdude. In March, we were able to buy our first domain. That is right, we went from Impromtmaster.wordpress.com to Impromtdude.com. It was a small but amazing step to take. This was followed by getting my first hoodie and T-shirt. We also were able to raise our stats, by having one of post do super amazing, followed by a few others. Though we did amazing, we did fall short in a few other places.

We were giving a reward for continuously posting, but then one day lost all of that for us. I was too late one night, which ended that streak. This was the first time in almost a year that I didn’t post. Since then, I have failed to post daily. Its just hard to live life and do great things, stuff that I will write about, and post a blog every night. On top of all of this, I was starting to feel like this was more of a chore than a passion. This is when I realized that I was posting for stats, not for readers enjoyment. This is when I took a little time off. I have been off and on since then. But that is no problem, we will get back. Sometimes you just need a break. On other news, we are going to fall short of 100 likes on Facebook, which is pretty upsetting. This is something that I am going to change soon, but for now we will watch as I have failed to reach that number…

Now, we will talk about 2017.

Nothing could be as bad as 2016. You might have had a good year, but no one else did. 2016 was the year that took a huge amount of celebrities, two of my cars, my sanity and much more. That is why I am excited to get this next year started. With the new year, there will be a new goal for Impromtdude. This is something that I want to get back to and will attempt to do so in the next 365 days.

In 2017, I would love to build off of what we started. We were able to get apparel last year, I want to build on that. This will include a huge amount of items such as; Hoodies, T-shirts, hats, caps, sweat pants and/or socks. Now, not all the items will be available, but I hope to have something more for my dedicated fans. To build my fan base I will be making business cards/magnets. This will help my blog grow by giving me an easy way to promote myself when in public. But there is more! In 2017, I will be stepping out more and connecting with other writers. I plan on helping some people with their writing, writing with other people, having people guess blog, and many other amazing things. You will be seeing a lot of new faces. This is the best way to stay fresh; keep your blog enticing, by adding new opinions and faces. 

There will be more to come, but for now this is it. I will go into more detail Sunday, but know that 2017 will be the year that will make or break this blog. I really hope you will take this ride with me, because I can’t do this without you guys.

Also, I got a new laptop, so that is exciting!!! And I am getting glasses once this year ends. I can’t see crap, anymore. I finally know it’s time to get glasses.

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Posted: November 30, 2016 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Titles are for chumps as ideas are for wimps.

Today we will free ball a post and see what we can come up with. In order to get ideas, I will bee pulling words from around my room and write about that certain thing. I don’t know how this will go, but either way I am doing it!

Today, I was at work when I began to rub things. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop the horror from happening. I tried to put my hands in a bag, but that didn’t do anything. I found my hand remotely coming out of my pocket and finding a nice cold cup. I kept rubbing the glass, until I owned it. After my intriguing start, I knew that things were going to get extreme, this I became okay with, I was going to finish the groping in a flash, that way I could get a piece of pizza.

As you can tell, this post isn’t that serious, not as serious as writing a story. That reminds me that I need to write my novel. I have been putting that off since I was a vault boy. Yes, I just used a Fallout reference, sue me! Now, after making a nerd reference, I will talk about my football team; The Chicago Bears. I am angry with the start, they should be ashamed of themselves. I am excited to announce that Jay Cutler is done, he is gone for the season. Now, we will go with a guy that has only played one NFL game. He didn’t look bad, I just don’t know what he can bring to the table.

I am going to wrap it right there, I enjoyed doing this. If you are a follower, make sure you like and comment! That would make me happy.

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This is honestly to get me back into the motion of writing.

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This last week was an interesting one at that for the NFL. We had a few fans throw dildos, we had an amazing rookie showcase and for the first time in a long time, we had two ties in two weeks. Also, the Bears beat the deflated Vikings under veteran QB, Jay Cutler. I didn’t do great, but I brought my record to 57-43-2. Will there be another tie? Probably not.

Falcons @ Bucs
Winner: Falcons

Lions @ Vikings
Winners: Lions

Steelers @ Ravens
Winner: Ravens 

Jets @ Dolphins
Winner: Dolphins 

Cowboys @ Browns
Winner: Cowboys

Jags @ Chiefs
Winner: Chiefs

Eagles @ Giants
Winner: Giants 

Panthers @ Rams
Winner: Rams

Saints @ 4th-and-Niners
Winner: Saints

Titans @ Chargers
Winner: Chargers

Colts @ Packers
Winner: Packers
Note: Rodgers needs this game to get his game back up to par. If he plays horribly, then we might want to start panicking.

Broncos @ Raiders
Winner: Raiders

Bills @ Seahawks.
Winner: Bills 

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It is happening
   I have made a lot of pages in the past, most of them being pages for my blog. This time I will be making a Facebook page for something a lot cooler! I think, other than my Impromtdude page, this will be my most favorite page. This page will be dedicated to my new found hobby.

I’m going to make a new page for my special effects hobby, called Impromtdude Effects. I am still deciding if I want this name to stick, but it will work for now. For now, I will take the time to make material for the new page, while also trying to grow it as fast as possible. It is going to be fun to make the material and find ways to get the page out there. This is something I need to care more about with Impromtdude, but they both will be connected.

This page is for an art called “Special effects” and it will feature my work. This work has covered Burns, cuts, slit wrist, ripped fingers and bruises. This wont be the only thing it touches on, though. This page will also touch on how to get better if you are wanting to be an effects artist, yourself, by teaching a few techniques that I use and so on and how to make certain materials so you don’t have to spend a fortune on something you don’t know you truly want to do. Now, I do know I am new, but I know enough to teach others.

      My biggest goal is to do effects for haunted houses as I progress towards bigger jobs. I have done a few effects so far and they will be featured on this new page, so will you go check it out? Join this journey with me as I attempt to do something I honestly love. I will still be a full time blogger, but I will also be doing effects. It is pretty easy to keep both going, so that is what I will be doing. Click below to help me out!

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   I am with family in Missouri. We are currently going to a few haunted houses. I am very sorry, but there will be no normal post. This is my first major haunted house event, so I want to focus on it. I will be talking about this more, tomorrow but until then, enjoy your night and stay safe!
    The haunted houses are listed as:
-Creepyworld
-Abyss
-SiloX
-The Darkness

Notice: Small reviews will be giving for each attraction.

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Impromtdude

    We have people here today, they are giving us new windows. This is great and all, but also very annoying. I hate house repairs and this is why:
     1. My dog- The most annoying thing is my dog wants to join in. He has to know what’s going on, all the time. This is especially annoying when new people are around. Also, they are removing windows and going outside constantly, so he has to be tied up. He hasn’t stopped crying since they started…

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     2. Somehow I always get hurt- I cut myself on one of the windows, but this isn’t new. I always find a way to hurt myself. This could be from a stubbed toe to a slit wrist. But it always happens!

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     3. The clutter/mess- Construction is messy, and some don’t know how to clean up. I had a set of construction workers leave my house looking like Christmas after a door installation! Luckily these guys are smart, but this house is still cluttered!

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      4. The noise- I hate the loud bangs and constant pounding. You can’t concentrate on anything, you can’t talk on the phone and you can’t sleep. Your life is put on hold for a few long hours.

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      5. The people! Today, I had three men come into my house, didn’t say hi and went straight to work. I love that they aren’t wasting any time, but damn! Atleast say hi! I mean, you are a stranger in my house and you can’t even have enough respect to say anything? Instead, you look at me like I’m crazy, like I’m the one inside your house uninvited.

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      I am glad this is almost over, so I can finally go back to my normal life. I hate clutter, so today isn’t the day for me. I thought I would share for you guys. Please tell me, how do you deal with repairmen? Comment below?

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