Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Before we start tonight, I want to spend a few minutes and say thank you. John, thank you for caring about me. You texted me last night and told me how awesome I was. Thank you for sharing about your day, sorry that your day wasn’t that great. You deserve the best. You deserve to be happy and have amazing days. I am glad to hear that you wait for my posts, you have helped me decide that I want to continue writing. Thank you! You rock, I love you!

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She is gone.
When my mother left, it hurt me more than I knew. She walked out the door and walked out into the night air. She was gone and I was without a mother. I was without someone that I trusted my life with, she was gone. She didn’t care that I was hurting, she had things to do and I wasn’t a part of her plans. It took many years for me to find a way to cope with her absence, but this type of coping may have led me through more walls than doors. The way that I have coped with her being gone is being a comical jerk, someone that has to make jokes to hide that he is actually hurt.
In high school, I use to make fun of my mother, and I would laugh along with all of my friends. They didn’t know that I was actually broken, but I never wanted them to know that. It was a sign of weakness to show that I was vulnerable, so I put up all of these walls to make sure no one saw that I was hurt. I hid behind my humor and everyone fell for it. This was great! I was able to convince myself that I was okay with not having my mother. This was great until it began to be a bigger part of me. I began to joke about everything, until nothing was serious to me. This did change when I started to go to church. Church was the only time that I would actually let my emotions flow. Talking to God was the best feeling. Even if he didn’t say anything to me, I knew (in my heart) that he was listening to me. I was able to finally cry without being afraid of someone laughing at me.
I use to cry a lot at church. I would lay on my face and just bawl. Sometimes, I didn’t even know why I was crying, but it felt so good, so I never questioned it. There was a service about mothers, and I remember sinking into my seat and bawling. I cried the whole sermon and more. I was called to the front to talk to the pastors after the sermon and they hugged me. I don’t know why, but it actually felt like my mother was hugging me. Great, things are good now, right? I was able to get back to feeling, I was able to cry again, I was no longer scared to let my emotions out, correct? Yeah, NO! It lasted for a while, but nothing stayed that good for long.
I did say that it lasted for a while, right? I was able to let my emotions out for a good amount of time, but then something happened. I was no longer able to feel. My emotions were shut off and I couldn’t feel inside my heart. I was becoming cold and angry, again. Church just wasn’t the same, anymore. I was drifting away from God and I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I thought going to church more would help. The more that I went, though, the more that I felt the pain grow. Even if the sermon was the most touching, I was unable to go to that place, the place where my emotions could be freed. I needed serious help, my walls were being built again, the same walls my mother forced me to build years before. This is when I began to push people away.
I was able to find my emotions, again. They were found in a girl. This girl was standing twenty feet from me, my heart felt alive again. The next couple months were the best in my life. She taught me what it felt like to care. She taught me why it’s okay to let my emotions out. I was told that emotions were never meant to stay within, because they are meant to be carried by two, not by one. This shook me as I opened up, something that I should have never done. She broke my heart a month later. She allowed her sister to dictate who she was allowed to talk to. Again, the wall went up. This time, it stayed.
I moved away the next summer. I was chasing something, a feeling that I once felt. There was a Church that I thought would help me, but it came to pass. When I got there, it wasn’t the same. This is when I realized that my walk with Christ was no longer the same. I tried to get back to the way that I use to feel, but nothing would work. I only stayed a semester, then moved back home.
Nothing was the same when I got back, though. People moved on and plans changed. It was like I was in a whole new place, with people that I didn’t know. I guess I was hurt that no one seemed to care that I was back. They were okay without me. I told myself that it was a lie, but I never could seem to convince myself. This is when I met my wife, Ariel. She gave me happiness, but something was still missing. The piece that will always be missing. When my mother left, she took something from me that I didn’t know. She took my emotions. I haven’t felt truly sad about something in over 5 years. I stopped caring when I got back from college, when I saw that everyone moved on, When I realized that everyone moved on like my mother. I try to find a way to break down this wall, but the tools are not strong enough. They are broke under the pressure of all my DAMN baggage, I feel like I will never be okay. I miss her! I wish that I could have a heart to heart conversation with my mother. I want to ask her what she was thinking, why she left us, why couldn’t she just be a GODDAMN GOOD PARENT!! But I will never know. She will always have an excuse, I just wish I meant more to her, meant enough for her to drop her act and tell me why she left me. She left too soon.

Dear Mom,
I sit here, waiting for you to walk in those doors. I waited for you to come back for years, but you never came back. You had better things to do, but we weren’t it, were we? Why did you leave me, why did you leave me with these questions? I deserve these answers, dammit! I have giving you the power for so many years, hoping that you would just tell me why I wasn’t good enough!!!!! I want the power back, but you forced these walls up and I cant break them down. I want to take the wall down, but I cant without knowing how you could leave me as a child. How could you leave me at Ten and never even check up on me. I spent years trying to find you, but when I found you, you were full of excuses. You hurt me more than anything. But my biggest question is; why is it that you hurt me so much, but I still want you to hug me and tell me that you love me. Mom, I wish you were better. I wish you weren’t gone. 
Sincerely yours,
A BROKEN CHILD.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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Being anti-social is something that I deal with. I might have a blog that is doing okay, but that doesn’t dismiss the fact that I don’t like people. I don’t like to be in groups of people, nor do I like to be in big crowds of people. I’m uneasy to go into a public bathroom if I know it is packed. There is something about me that just doesn’t like to be around other humans. This has been an issue since I was a little kid, mostly after third grade, and has lasted up to now. Some think that it is hard to believe since I am also a blogger, which has me thinking; is the reason that I am failing, due to not being much of a peoples person?

Numbers are way down. Since I began this wonderful journey, I have noticed that I haven’t caught any type of current. It has always been a few views here and there. If we happen to catch a big current of fish, the water soon dries up, leaving me back with the tuna in a can. If I seem to get a fire going, the wind comes by and blows it out. I am unable to keep any fire going for long, which makes me think that I am a failing writer, one that should quit. The numbers are hard to cope with, but I know that I want to be a blogger. I have the passion to keep pushing forward, this is why I keep doing this. Most days, I wont even look at the stats. I know they aren’t pretty, but I keep telling myself to keep pushing on; hoping that one day this will all get better.

Today, I was with another manager. He was talking to me about customers and how we need to engage with them. This conversation got pushed into another direction, which ended up with us talking about convenient stores. He likes the personal interaction, where I like to get in, get my stuff, and exit through the self check-out. When asked why, I told him that I am very anti-social. With this being said, he told me that I couldn’t be anti-social if I have a blog. I stopped to think about that, because

I am very passionate when I write. I engage anyone who comments, and I try to reach out to all those who show interest; this all means that I am hiding behind this, as a social person or I am failing because I am not sociable enough. We could also say that I am actually social when it comes to this, yet hate people in person. Either way, I have to evaluate if I am failing because of this.

What if I am failing because of this? What if I am failing because I don’t like human interaction, is it something that I can fix? The Answer is yes. It is easy to get out of comfort zones if you love what you are doing. It might take some work, but it is definitely not hard to get out of this comfort. In order to get out, all i have to do is be more social able. This is something that I need to work on anyway, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

What he said really hit home. If I am wanting to be a manager or a blogger, I have to be more sociable with people. I cant live in a cocoon, forever, it doesn’t work like that. If you want to be successful in anything, then you have to open up to people and get them on your side. You have to show them the interest that you want back. You can  kiss any career goodbye if you don’t want to change that. I know what I need to work on; do you?  

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Losing you hurt

Posted: February 28, 2017 in Uncategorized
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WE take life for granted. We are only giving one shot at life and we take it for granted. We think that we will stay healthy forever, when we wont. The truth is that we hold back in life and we are stupid for doing so. Life is a hour glass where each second is another grain falling through the glass.
We settle in life, hoping that one day everything will come together. “One day, I will go back to school, but not now” We put our dreams to the side because it would be too uncomfortable to actually do something different. So instead, we will stay at that same job, the one that we hate so much, because we don’t think that we will ever be good enough for the job that we want. It could be from fear or maybe from laziness, either way, we are just wasting our precious time on this earth. Someday, you will wake up and you will be old. You will see that your whole life was wasted because you feared to do anything different. Those dreams that you had will be just that, DREAMS! You’ll want to go back in time and change those decisions, but it will be to late. Genies don’t exist. You can’t just wish back those years that you wasted, but instead, you get to look back and see everything that you gave up.
I watched as a mans life was taking from him. He was the nicest guy you would ever want to know. He always walked around with a smile, never upset about his life. Then, out of no where, he was taking from us. He had a history of heart problems, which is what caused him to die, but he still had a lot of time left (in the eyes of years.) He didn’t know that today was going to be his last day. He got up like he usually does. He went to work and clocked in. He was coming back from the bathroom. He stopped to sit in my store, but he wasn’t able to take the seat. Instead, he had a heart attack and fell to the ground. I didn’t know what to do. I called the emergency line and got someone there as soon as possible. When they got there, his face was purple. He was lifeless, but they went to work, hoping that they could bring him back. He had a heart rhythm when he left, but he didn’t make it.
Today taught me a lot. He still had years left to live, but he wasn’t able to take advantage of those years. This should wake us up to see that we aren’t indestructible, we could die at any time. I watched this young kid (when I was young) fight for his life at 10 years old. He also didn’t survive. He was 10-years-old and had his life taken from him. He had a bright future in whatever he decided to do, but he wasn’t giving the shot.
Stop! Stop holding back from living your life. If you want that damn job, bust your ass to get that job. If you want to go back to school, then go back to school. Don’t tell yourself that you will go back soon. You might not have that much time left. You are cheating yourself from the happiness that you deserve. So, take a damn stand. Tell yourself that you are going to succeed, then go out there and actually make a damn move. You were called for a purpose, it is your responsibility to fullfill that purpose, because life could end any day. Don’t be too scared to make moves today, where you miss out on living tomorrow.

Dear Ben,
You inspired me to live a happy life. You were someone that had lost everything, but you still stood strong and kept a big smile on your face. I will miss not seeing you, everyday, in my store. See, you were someone that I would wait to see. You came in and we would discuss history as you waited for your food. You always had a new book, most of them I didn’t know about, but you kept me interested in the topic. I was never a history fan, but I could see that you were really passionate about it. I didn’t know what you were talking about, but I couldn’t stop you from talking, nor did I want to. I will miss our talks, but know that you inspired me to live a happy life. Even after you lost your house, you still kept that big grin on your face. Thank you for your lessons. I will never forget you!! Rest in peace!

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This Blog is dedicated to Ben!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Now that I found it.
Now that I found the item, we can move on. The night was young. This is the story about my attempt to make my phone work again. It was a late night in the capitol city. The last bus just picked up their last passenger. The night was almost over. The breeze was slightly blowing the leaves across my yard. I walked outside to feel the breeze on my face, but when I stepped outside the wind stopped blowing. Yet, when I walked back inside, the wind began to blow again. This has nothing to do with the story, I just felt it was weird.

I was sitting at my desk after a long day. The day consisted of work. I had to work a long shift. It was a total of 6 hours. This is a long shift for a man with a tough life. I couldn’t imagine ever working longer than 6 hours. I have to give props to anyone that works more than 6 hours, it takes a lot to do that so good job, guys. Anyway, the day was a long, hard day that consisted of me sitting in front of a computer screen. I was doing my schedules for the infants. They have been bad lately, so I wasn’t forced to give them any hours. This being said, I have to tell you that I didn’t have to work hard at all. But what happened later was what killed me.

After work, I had to go and get something to eat. I decided to go to Taco Bell. I wanted to kill my insides, so I ordered a few extra items. If I was going to kill my insides, I wanted to make sure they wouldn’t become zombies afterwards. After scarfing the few tacos down and sitting for a few minutes, I started to feel the pain. I ran to the bathroom and died there. Yes, I am telling you that I am the living dead. My sole purpose was to find one thing. I was searching for the one item that I couldn’t find. The item has a lot of purpose and I needed to find it, so I had to find it, even if it took me all night.

After a hour of searching, I found the item. I found the item and now I am not using it. I found the item on the ground. I couldn’t tell you guys about finding the item until I found the item, but I finally found it.  The reason I am not using it is because I found the same item before finding the other item, so now I have two of the same item, so I don’t need the other. But the morale of the story is that I just wasted your time telling you about an item that I don’t even need. You’re welcome!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

What happened to Bart?

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I have had a few people ask me what happened to Bart. The last time that we saw our friend, he was actually holding Jason Voorhees hostage. I didn’t know why he wanted a cage, but I bought it for him. I then came home to see Jason locked up. I tried to tell Bart about how serious this is, but he didn’t listen. He put the key up and went back to his life. This was suppose to be the end, but then Freddy had to show up. Freddy was granted a favor if he let Jason out. I don’t know the details, but I know that Freddy hurried to get the key and allow him to leave.

So what happened? The story will start again, soon. The story will involve Bart being terrified as he feels like someone is watching him. The only problem is that Freddy is playing with his mind, tricking him to think that Jason is still in the cell. This is when Bart thinks that he is just going crazy. He will lay his worries aside and will go back to living life.

If you know anything about Jason, you will know that he waits for the victim to slip up. This is when he will attack and start a war between the group. Freddy gets what he wants and he will leave, but I can promise that he will be back sooner than you think. He will play a huge role in the story, but for now Jason will fight alone. Bart might not be able to win this fight, but he is going to give it his all, even if it means he dies. Jason is pissed, so this is going to be a nasty fight, especially with the help that he has. Lets just say; the group has a lot to overcome. This is going to be an exciting story to tell. I hope that you will enjoy it. How do you think the story will end? Please tell me in the comments.

This was just a quick update to let you guys know that I am still telling a story here. Bart is still a big project on my mind. I have just been super busy, so I haven’t been able to do the photo shoots or anything with special effects. But, I plan on putting some time aside so I can get this done. Other than that, know that Bart is doing well, with his posse. 

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

What if I told you?
What if I told you that support is a two way street? Would that make you change your mind or would you blame another for your mistake? What if that wasn’t enough for this to be okay? Then, after many years of wondering why you were never supported, you turn around and see that you could have saved the day? You could have saved the day and taken all this away, but you stuck to your tough exterior and pushed your support away. Now, you have to wonder what could have been.

“How could you have saved the day?” you might ask. That is a great question that I might have the answer to. Actually, I know the answer. The answer is very simple and shouldn’t take much to understand. It shouldn’t take a whole blog to tell you what you have to do, but I might just drag it out. Nah, lets get to it. You asked the question “How could you have saved the day?” and the quick/simple answer is; You show the same support!

If someone is giving you the support to go and do things, then you must show them the same respect. People don’t have to help you, they don’t have to be by your side. They decide to help you (out of the love of their heart) and they spend time trying to help you. These people are gems. They don’t even care about your support. All they want is to feel wanted and welcomed. It isn’t much at all. You can show them that by showing them that you care about their feelings. This can be shown by “Reading their blog, listening to their music, a simple hug, listening to their problems.” These are small things you can do to repay them. But you don’t do this, instead you choose to get mad when they stop supporting you.

Supporters stop supporting when you stop caring about them. They can’t take not feeling loved, so instead of getting hurt, they will turn away and go a different direction. Usually, they will go off and support their own dreams, or try to find someone to support them. They will still love you and want the best, but the support wont be there, because they don’t want to support someone that doesn’t return the same.

Lets fast-forward a few years. This is when you start to see the growth of an ex-supporter. You will be drowned in your own hatred, where-as the supporter is living a high life. They found the support through others and used that to grow. Now, they are shining because they are doing something, where you are sitting on the ground half beaten up and reaching out for any support. This is your fault, though. You are the one that didn’t help him, so now you must be jealous of his success. The biggest thing that never changes, though, is the fact that he will never stop loving you. This means that if you begin to support him, then he will begin to support your dreams, again. He isn’t selfish. He never has been. He just wants to know that he isn’t alone. Mister supporter is still reaching out for you, but he wont grasp ahold unless he thinks you will support him, as well. Because, if he is wrong, then he knows that he could fall to his death. This is where you have to show him that you are willing to help him. Show him that you care; he will give back what you give him. He is the supporter, his main mission is to support you. 

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Why don’t I use my new tablet?
It has been three weeks since Christmas. On Christmas I received the best gift, ever. I was giving a gift, from my wife, that I couldn’t love anymore than I already do. The biggest problem is I haven’t used it. The tablet has sat in my desk since that first day, without being used by anyone; I haven’t even powered it on. The one question I must answer is “Why?”

To answer this question, we must first take a look into my brain. I am the type of man that has to allow things to get dusty before I use them. I am being serious. I still have a pair of shoes that I haven’t even tried on. The shoes are so sexy. They are blue Pumas that I have always wanted. But since I have already have shoes, I chose to leave these shoes alone, for now.

I think its because I never had new things growing up. Yes, I was giving things from my dad but what I mean is that I wasn’t showered with gifts.  I was giving enough to be happy, which is great but, I wasn’t like others that got everything that they want, so its different when I get new things. I cherish the new things that I get. I love this thing about me, I wouldn’t change anything. But it also gets crazy when I let good things sit off to the side while I watch it get dusty.

Now back to the tablet. I love the tablet, I just happen to love this one, also. I guess it’s because of all the work that is on this device. There is something special about this tablet. It was my first big gift from Ariel, maybe that’s why. But the most reasonable answer is because this still has life. This tablet will be used until it dies, then (and only then) will this device be buried. With this being said, I think I am going to start using the other tablet soon. I think the other tablet is going to compliment my writing, since it actually has a backspace button! I don’t know though. I guess we will have to see.

Anyway, thank you guys for reading. I greatly appreciate you. I don’t know why I wanted to tell you guys this, but I feel better now. Sometimes, you just have to express dumber feelings to feel better. This is why I am glad that I wrote this…Have a good night!

What is something weird that you do?

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Whoo buddy! 2017 is finally here.

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It is no longer 2016. We have turned the page and we are now looking towards the future. I’m glad to say that 2016 doesn’t have a tie on me anymore, because that year sucked. But, with faith, I believe 2017 will be the year for some amazing breakthroughs as addition to all the other amazing things that will happen. To make this year great, I want to actually make some resolutions. Resolutions for myself have never worked out. I always lose the paper and forget what I set myself out to do during the 365 days! This year, I am taking precaution and telling you guys. Feel free to keep me accountable to my goals, because I know it will be tough to complete all of these things. Lets get started.

10. Get the hell out of dodge. We (Ariel and I) are tired of this place. We have dealt with some nasty things in this house and I am done. Our landlord doesn’t want to take our complaints serious, even though there is mold in the walls, so we will show her. We will leave this place and finally buy our own house. I have been so stubborn with making that decision, but with the car accident happening, I don’t want to have to learn another “lesson” so it’s time to leave.

9. Cut Soda will be the hardest thing, ever. I love to drink MTN Dew and other various carbonated drinks, but honestly; that stuff is poison to your body. This is why I have made the decision to make tonight my last night with soda.

8. Eat healthier and taking care of my body more is just as important. I have falling off the deep-end and I don’t know how to swim. I really hate how I feel, so why not make the change? This comes with a better lifestyle. If I want to be fit then I will have to eat like a fit person.

7. Getting glasses. I know that I have needed glasses and I am going to do something about that now! I am going to a doctors office and I will be getting glasses. Life is about cherishing the small moments, but how can I cherish them if I can’t see them? I might be scared, but I need it done!

6. Surrounding myself with people that love me. My whole life I have been the man on the outside. It was a nice place to be because then it was harder to get hurt, but that life is sucky, also. This year, I want to spend time getting to know people, going out with people more, and embracing those who love me. Happiness is found in those who love you, its time to let those people in.

5. Read and write more is important. I have a thousand books, but I never read them. Stephen King says “A good writer is a good reader.” I can’t become the best writer if I refuse to read. Also, I need to  write more on my two novels. I keep saying I want to write a novel, yet I have two in the process. It is time to stop being lazy and get them written.

4. Be happier at work. I am a Debby downer when I am at work. One small thing happens and it ruins my mood. This has to change in 2017. I have to find that love for my job, or I might need to find a new job. Either way, I can’t be miserable at a place for the majority of the day, anymore. It is time to be happier!

3. Be nicer. Now, it is okay to be sarcastic, but I must also know when it’s gone too far. This year, I will learn to be nicer in certain situations, because I want people to like me, which cant happen if I’m being a complete asshole.

2. Achieve my goal in Special Effects. I said I wanted to eventually be a makeup artist at a haunted house. This is my first big milestone, so this year I want to achieve that. If that is all I do in special effects, that is okay with me!

1. Raise Impromtdude to the next level/Blogging for money has always been a dream. This dream will come true this year. I’m going to set my whole being to make sure this happens. I am tired of staying in the same place; it is time for a change. Get ready, 2017, its go time!

These are just a few of many goals. I have a lot planned for 2017 and I am ready to take it all on. There is no time to wait, anymore. I am ready to do great things. It is time to find my happiness in this world, more happiness than the day I met Ariel. It is time to find my purpose. Are you ready? If not, you better get ready because it is now 2017! Happy New Year!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

The flipping glow of success.

What is Success?

Success is the favorable result in a situation. Success is something that many want and will spend their whole life trying to achieve. Though many will try to be successful, many will find it very challenging. It might be hard to find success in the path that they take, but it isn’t impossible. Hard work comes before success, this is where many will fail. These people don’t want to work hard to get what they want, so this leads them to quit on what they are attempting to finish, leading to a big failure. If they would have worked harder or even taking a different path, they might have succeeded. Either way, they should have kept working hard, because great things happen to those who work hard.

This brings me to the point of this post. Over a year ago, I posted about making a giant splash in the writing world. I thought that it was going to be easy, but I found that it wasn’t even close to that. Finding the right crowd, the correct formulas and even finding the passion to write can be very hard at times. I know this from my failed attempt to make it big on Facebook. My page has yet to hit 100 likes, where as my friends writing pages have gathered over 1,000 in the last year. This is an upsetting fact, to know that what I thought was going to be the easiest part is now the hardest. It doesn’t seem hard to grow a page, I mean all you have to do is share, right? That is wrong! I find that to be the most annoying ways to grow. I don’t want to get big off of spamming people for their likes, but how am I suppose to get this page going? That is what is hard, because you need a formula.

I don’t have that formula, I don’t know how to get that formula. I wish someone would come along with a free trial, just so I can take what the formula taste like. There is a science behind getting people to want what you have. In order to find that out, you mainly have to be a peoples person, that is something I am not. I love people, but I don’t understand people. That is what screws me. How can I get someone I don’t understand to like something that I made?
In addition to all of this, once you begin to find the formula, you can be hit with writers block. This is what happened to me. Somewhere in the last year I found the formula, I was growing like nothing else, then it all halted. I forgot what to do, I lost the passion, and I began to spew out a bunch of half-hearted crap. These were post that I didn’t even like myself,  but for some reason I posted them. By the time I got my passion back, the crowd was gone. I miss my shot and now I can’t seem to find the formula again.

So I missed my chance to grow big, should I give up though? No! I find that trying to find the right formula is the greatest part of trying to get big. What appreciation would I have if everything was giving to me? If I was giving the chance to be famous (not something I want) I would turn it down. Being giving something like that would lead to me hating the position I’m in. This is because you love what you work hard for. I love our car because we had crap cars before, but also because we have to pay for it. Likewise, I love being a writer because I have to work hard to get better. When you put work into something, you want something to come out of it. You don’t want to waste time, so you will make sure that you do anything to allow your investment to grow. So just because I lost my chance, this doesn’t mean that I will give up. This is just another reason to bust my ass to get back to where I was. I must put in the work to gain the reward.

I am wanting to succeed as a writer. It is my goal to be known, so if I have to fail a thousand times to do so, you better know that I am going to do so. I don’t care if it takes forever to do so, just know that I will look failure in the face and laugh! Because I know I have something special. Failure has no place for me!!!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude


The warm weather made Christmas feel different. Then the rain brought down the spirit, more. But the worst part of yesterday was that a huge fight broke out. The fight left a few individuals very upset, but that didn’t last long. Our family can never stay mad. The fight was over within hours and there we stood, working things out. 

This brings me to the meaning of Christmas. This was something that I did last year. But I have wanted to do it again. This is because during these times, I feel like we get caught up in the gifts, stress and all the wrong reasons to celebrate. This generation gets caught up with the idea of gifts and their selves that they forget to appreciate the small things. 

I had a whole bunch of great gifts! I got my set of books, a car vacuum, new paints, Puma clothing, and a really awesome laptop! I couldn’t have been happier with the gifts, but that wasn’t the best part of the night. They best part came after the gifts were unwrapped. The best part was spending time with my family.

On Christmas Eve, I found myself hanging with people that I haven’t seen in about 4 years; this being my dad’s side of the family. We had a little get together. At first, I wasn’t able to find enjoyment, but after I laid down my pride I wss able to enjoy myself. This came when I actually started to connect with my family, again. 

This might have been a good time, but the best thing came during the night side of Christmas, after a day of fighting. Everyone came over and joked around. Then my cousins and I decided to try all of the hot sauce that I had previously received that week. We sat around a table and pulled numbers from a cup to decide which hot sauce to try. During this, we all joked around and had a blast. The hot sauce was fantastic and it all showed that you don’t have to receive anything to love the season. 

CHRISTMAS has became about getting the perfect gift. So much zone that we have forgotten that Christmas is about family. Love is suppose to be the center of Christmas. This being said, why do we stress out so much about buying gifts, that only brings anger and hatred. CHRISTMAS is suppose to bring families close, not tear them apart. That is the real meaning of Christmas. The meaning being; instead of worrying about buying a gift that honestly won’t matter in a year, why don’t we spend the time reconnecting and sharing memories as a family. Only then will we feel the magic of Christmas, again.