Posts Tagged ‘lost’

How do I get over her?

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How do I get over her?

When I was seventeen, I met the girl that changed my world. She isn’t my wife, now, but she helped me prepare myself for Ariel. I don’t know if this is okay to talk about, but know that my feelings are no longer strong about this girl. She is married now, and I am happy with who I am with. But I think someone needs to hear this and the only way to tell you guys is to bring her back up, so sorry if you guys think its disrespectful to Ariel, but know that I never meant for it to be. Please read this with an open mind, and don’t forget to share it! Someone needs to hear this.

 

I met this girl when I was seventeen. We went to a conference with the same youth group. I didn’t know anything about her, as she didn’t know about me, either. I never went to her church, but my old youth pastor was her youth pastor, at the time. He invited me to go with them, which I was excited to go to find God, but little did I know, I was about to meet someone that would go on to change my life, forever. She said hi first, and I ignored her because I was shy.

 

After the service, I went up to say sorry and she said that she understood, so I introduced myself and we began to talk. This was the start of the best part of my life (up to this point in time, of course not now) we got to know each other better each day, and we never went a day without talking. With every day that went by, I was learning more about life, God, and how to love. I changed my career path and got accepted into the same college that she was going to. We planned to go to the same school so we could be close (in order to help each other get closer to God. As we knew it can be hard to adapt.) We agreed to begin to court once we turned 18, but the more we talked, the feeling began to get stronger. Long story short; she called it off shortly after we got close; saying that her family didn’t think it was a good idea. We went our separate ways. This is what I call the dark days.

 

Losing her took a huge blow to my faith, as I couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that she wasn’t close to me anymore. I could count on my youth pastor, but he was busy with his life, and took a job at the church she attended, so I thought I had to get through this alone. The more that I fought to get over her; the more I felt the waves crashing into me. I drowned in my faith and became depressed. This led me to staring at walls for hours, not praying as much, and questioning if God was real. It got so bad that my pastors pulled me into the side room and questioned if I was okay. Kids in school asked me if I was okay; literally one day I was shining, the next I was dark and emotional. I never thought I could get over her, but I did.

 

You probably have gone through this, or are going through this now, and you may be asking how I did it? How did I get over her? It took a long time, but by doing four things, I was able to get over her, finally; realizing it was for the best, knowing that someone was out there for me, giving space and being happy for her. Let’s see what I mean;

 

  1. Realizing it was for the best.

This meant that I had to agree that I wasn’t the best option for her, and she wasn’t the best option for me. This can be hard when you first break up or break a courtship off, because the feelings are still fresh, but over time you will see that it is for the best. She was what I wanted, but not what I needed. She had different dreams; ones that I didn’t want. She wanted to see the eastern part of the world, where I was more into spreading the word to locals. This being said, our lives were never going to match up, which is good to know that neither of us are held back now, because she married in the east and I married in the local part of Illinois. What I am saying is there was a reason that it didn’t work out, you may not know right now, but one day you will know and you will smile, knowing that you were able to set her/him free and were able to do your own thing, without anything holding you down or back.

 

  1. Knowing someone was out there for me.

I have always wanted to find the perfect girl, fall in love, get married and eventually have kids. When she left, I thought all of that was over, but shortly after her leaving, I talked to someone and they said to have faith someone is out there. I didn’t want to believe it, because I didn’t want to believe that anyone could be better than her. Now that I look back on that conversation, he was right. It was scary to think that I would never meet someone, but the truth is; she was out there! She was waiting patiently for me. Know that when you close one door, another door will be opened for you. IT may hurt to go through, but the pain will be healed once you walk through that door; because your first love never amounts to your true love.

 

  1. Giving her the space she needs, also the space I need!

I had respect for this girl, so I never wanted to step over boundaries. I wanted to give her the space that she needed, wanted.  I knew that I couldn’t get over her if I was seeing her weekly, so I didn’t involve myself in events that I knew she would be at, or at least events that I knew we would have to talk a lot. When I graduated, I gave her the space by going to another college, letting her go to CBC without me. I attended a different seminary, hoping that moving would take away the pain, and it worked. I attended World Revival School of Ministry in Kansas City, Missouri. This school was all about finding a new level to your relationship with God. I never had time to think of her, and I was maturing as a person.

 

When I came back home, I was able to talk to her with no pain, at all. We were able to talk as friends, sharing our passions without thinking about the future together. It was nice, because in the end, she was still a great friend.   It is important to get yourself the room to cope with the heart break. This was the hardest part. I know it’s hard to watch someone you love move on, but you have to know that trying to force yourself into their arms will never work. Give them space, take your space and one day you could be friends (or in a special case, it could have been the wrong time for the relationship, and you could eventually fall in love, again.) I would rather have that person in my life as a friend, than not having that person in my life at all. It worked for me; I bet it can work for you, too!

 

  1. Be happy for the person!

Okay, so now we know that we have to realize better things are out there, that you won’t be alone forever, and that you have to give them space, but what should be the last thing? What will help? BE happy! Be happy for the person, be happy for your own growth; be happy that you can be friends; be happy that you didn’t have to live with the regret, be happy that you were giving the chance in the first place.

 

BE HAPPY!  So it didn’t work out! That doesn’t mean that it has to be all bad. You were able to spend that time with them, you were able to learn from this situation, and you were giving a second chance to find that somebody that will probably be better than the other one, anyway.  I am personally happy that she was able to find someone, get married and was able to change his world. I am happy that I was able to find Ariel, fall in love, get married, and start a small family one day. I am also happy that I was able to learn everything from my first love. But somethings just don’t work out, I am happy that I could live it, though. I know it hurts, but don’t let it get you down, forever.

 

Move on, and find a way to be happy. Surround yourself with friends during the dark days, and never be afraid to ask for help. I was stupid to think I had to do it all alone. You are never alone, so don’t try to do it alone. In all of this, find something to make you happy, because you deserve to be happy, with or without that person. When you do this, I bet you will get over him/her.

 

I think I have talked enough, so I will end it here. I know that you are hurting, which I’m sorry for, but it won’t always be like this. IT will get better, I don’t know when, but it will! Find friends to keep you occupied; let them help you piece yourself back together and get ready for the love of your life to come and sweep you up! You will be so happy that you didn’t stay with the one that got away. So space yourself, realize you won’t be alone forever, know it happens for a reason, and finally, be freaking happy. You will make it! I have faith in you!

Also check out my blog on First love vs true love!

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I don’t know what to think

    Hey there. I hope you guys are having a great night. I wish I was watching the game tonight, but that isn’t happening. Instead, I am spending the night watching YouTube videos. You might be wondering why, since I am a huge fan of the NFL. Let me tell you why. It will only take a few seconds.

This has been an ongoing problem for a few days. We have been having the same problem, but it has gotten worse. See a few days ago Ariel and I were watching a T.V. show. Then as the show was getting good, the picture pixeled out. The screen froze for a few seconds before breaking back into the show. I thought that the receiver was just glitching out due to the weather. We went on with our lives, but then tonight we were watching the game. The game would freeze every ten seconds, which ruined the Cowboys loss for me. I knew I had to get this fixed, because I want to watch the upcoming games.

I am the type of guy that will go to YouTube for everything. YouTube is the best thing since meth. They have a video for everything, so I knew it could help me. I went on and found a video that was very helpful. The video told me to disconnect the hdmi cord from the back. The connection was supposedly corrupted and needed to be reset. I disconnected the cord and waited. But when I plugged it back in the problem was still there. At this point, I was done with trying to figure it out, so I called the technician.

If I can say anything about DIRECTV it is that their wait time is amazing. I only waited two minutes on hold before I got redirected. This is impressive next to what I use to wait with Comcast. When the woman came on the phone, she was a sweety. She was really sweet and wanted to help me. After a few minutes of trying to diagnose the problem, this woman had hit her limits. She was unable to help any further. This is when she sent me to the next person in line. That person was a little more irritating. She only cared about me paying for the service, instead of trying to get me help. She told me all the prices of the service, yet never asked me to do anything. She was quick to schedule an appointment that would cost me over $100. I told this woman that I wasn’t going to pay this because its not my fault that their equipment was bad. She then told me that it was that or I could sign up for a monthly protection program. Being done with this fight, I agreed to the protection program. The woman told me the time of the meeting, which happens to be on the day that I have to work. Now, I have to find a way to miss that day so I can be here with the technician. I am thinking about shutting my service off..

Am I overreacting?

Should I just let this go? I don’t feel like I should have to pay for a receiver because their equipment is crap. They should realize that the equipment is out-of-date and should replace it without question or another bill. I know that everything cost, but when I have done nothing to break their equipment, why should I have to pay? Someone please bring light to my selfishness.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

    Imagine walking down a long, dark tunnel. This tunnel resembles your life and the choices that you have made. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The closer you get to the light, the more colder that the tunnel gets. You are freezing, but it gets worse. You are almost to the end, then it starts to pour water. You want to continue, but doubt gets to you. You don’t think that you can make it, so you stop. The light at the end of the tunnel becomes dim, then fades completely. This is what depression feels like. At first, you are strong, but then the weight of the world falls onto your shoulders. You want to carry on, but the hope is no longer driving you. You begin to feel alone and eventually you give up.

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   350 million people are affected by depression worldwide. This is 5% of the whole world. Of the U.S.A we are looking at 16 million civilians that suffer from feeling alone or not good enough. People are likely to be depressed because of Brain chemistry, Hormones, genetics and/or personal risk factors, which include: Low self-esteem, physical or sexual abuse, diabetes or other major health factors, alcohol or drug abuse, medication side-effects, also the history of their family can play a big part in their health. Women are also more likely to suffer from depression than men are.

   Suffering from depression can really hold someone down and make their life unbearable. If the feeling of being alone isn’t enough, there are other effects that depression will cause. These effects consist of becoming angry easily, not being able to control your anger, anxiety issues, loss of interest in something that you love to do, being stuck in the past, and having suicidal thoughts. This becomes hard to live a life when you have no passion to do anything, especially the hobbies that you use to love to participate in.  With no interest in doing anything, one could only imagine what negative effects this will have on the body. There are a huge amount of additional effects that bring harm to your body, and should not be ignored.
   
   The physical effects are pretty serious and are usually easy to spot. This is why they ask you to keep an eye for these things. Insomnia, fatigue, and random aches and pains might be hard to catch, as the person might not speak up about it. But you might be able to catch these next few things easier. Weight gain/loss in a rapid form. You will be able to catch if someone is losing a lot of weight (or gaining) quickly. Increase or decrease in appetite should also be easy to catch on to. Also, they could have a hard time concentrating. If the person is big into art, but can’t find time to concentrate on art, then youmight want to talk to them. This is a pretty huge deal, because the next sign is more dangerous; cutting/self harm. You will be able to see the marks (sometimes not so easily) but this shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you ever find someone is cutting, you need to talk them into getting help, immediately.

  Being a friend to a person with depression can be hard, but God gives us help in his word. Three scriptures stood out to me today, all of them pointed to this topic. These scriptures can guide you to help those in need, or they can help you as you fight depression, yourself. The first Scripture was

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Psalms 34:17 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”

1 Peter 5: 6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

   God will never leave his people. He is always there for you, all you have to do is cry out for him. He knows that you are not strong enough to face the giants, alone, that is why he is there with you. You must first humble yourself, then you and God will be able to escape the feeling of world being on your shoulders. But, remember, as the children of God, it is also our job to go out and help those in need. We have to watch for the signs. Suicide is a huge problem, but with our kind hearts, we could change all of that! It is time for us to help those in need. It is our time to stand with those who feel alone.

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

What happened to Bart?

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I have had a few people ask me what happened to Bart. The last time that we saw our friend, he was actually holding Jason Voorhees hostage. I didn’t know why he wanted a cage, but I bought it for him. I then came home to see Jason locked up. I tried to tell Bart about how serious this is, but he didn’t listen. He put the key up and went back to his life. This was suppose to be the end, but then Freddy had to show up. Freddy was granted a favor if he let Jason out. I don’t know the details, but I know that Freddy hurried to get the key and allow him to leave.

So what happened? The story will start again, soon. The story will involve Bart being terrified as he feels like someone is watching him. The only problem is that Freddy is playing with his mind, tricking him to think that Jason is still in the cell. This is when Bart thinks that he is just going crazy. He will lay his worries aside and will go back to living life.

If you know anything about Jason, you will know that he waits for the victim to slip up. This is when he will attack and start a war between the group. Freddy gets what he wants and he will leave, but I can promise that he will be back sooner than you think. He will play a huge role in the story, but for now Jason will fight alone. Bart might not be able to win this fight, but he is going to give it his all, even if it means he dies. Jason is pissed, so this is going to be a nasty fight, especially with the help that he has. Lets just say; the group has a lot to overcome. This is going to be an exciting story to tell. I hope that you will enjoy it. How do you think the story will end? Please tell me in the comments.

This was just a quick update to let you guys know that I am still telling a story here. Bart is still a big project on my mind. I have just been super busy, so I haven’t been able to do the photo shoots or anything with special effects. But, I plan on putting some time aside so I can get this done. Other than that, know that Bart is doing well, with his posse. 

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

What if I told you?
What if I told you that support is a two way street? Would that make you change your mind or would you blame another for your mistake? What if that wasn’t enough for this to be okay? Then, after many years of wondering why you were never supported, you turn around and see that you could have saved the day? You could have saved the day and taken all this away, but you stuck to your tough exterior and pushed your support away. Now, you have to wonder what could have been.

“How could you have saved the day?” you might ask. That is a great question that I might have the answer to. Actually, I know the answer. The answer is very simple and shouldn’t take much to understand. It shouldn’t take a whole blog to tell you what you have to do, but I might just drag it out. Nah, lets get to it. You asked the question “How could you have saved the day?” and the quick/simple answer is; You show the same support!

If someone is giving you the support to go and do things, then you must show them the same respect. People don’t have to help you, they don’t have to be by your side. They decide to help you (out of the love of their heart) and they spend time trying to help you. These people are gems. They don’t even care about your support. All they want is to feel wanted and welcomed. It isn’t much at all. You can show them that by showing them that you care about their feelings. This can be shown by “Reading their blog, listening to their music, a simple hug, listening to their problems.” These are small things you can do to repay them. But you don’t do this, instead you choose to get mad when they stop supporting you.

Supporters stop supporting when you stop caring about them. They can’t take not feeling loved, so instead of getting hurt, they will turn away and go a different direction. Usually, they will go off and support their own dreams, or try to find someone to support them. They will still love you and want the best, but the support wont be there, because they don’t want to support someone that doesn’t return the same.

Lets fast-forward a few years. This is when you start to see the growth of an ex-supporter. You will be drowned in your own hatred, where-as the supporter is living a high life. They found the support through others and used that to grow. Now, they are shining because they are doing something, where you are sitting on the ground half beaten up and reaching out for any support. This is your fault, though. You are the one that didn’t help him, so now you must be jealous of his success. The biggest thing that never changes, though, is the fact that he will never stop loving you. This means that if you begin to support him, then he will begin to support your dreams, again. He isn’t selfish. He never has been. He just wants to know that he isn’t alone. Mister supporter is still reaching out for you, but he wont grasp ahold unless he thinks you will support him, as well. Because, if he is wrong, then he knows that he could fall to his death. This is where you have to show him that you are willing to help him. Show him that you care; he will give back what you give him. He is the supporter, his main mission is to support you. 

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The warm weather made Christmas feel different. Then the rain brought down the spirit, more. But the worst part of yesterday was that a huge fight broke out. The fight left a few individuals very upset, but that didn’t last long. Our family can never stay mad. The fight was over within hours and there we stood, working things out. 

This brings me to the meaning of Christmas. This was something that I did last year. But I have wanted to do it again. This is because during these times, I feel like we get caught up in the gifts, stress and all the wrong reasons to celebrate. This generation gets caught up with the idea of gifts and their selves that they forget to appreciate the small things. 

I had a whole bunch of great gifts! I got my set of books, a car vacuum, new paints, Puma clothing, and a really awesome laptop! I couldn’t have been happier with the gifts, but that wasn’t the best part of the night. They best part came after the gifts were unwrapped. The best part was spending time with my family.

On Christmas Eve, I found myself hanging with people that I haven’t seen in about 4 years; this being my dad’s side of the family. We had a little get together. At first, I wasn’t able to find enjoyment, but after I laid down my pride I wss able to enjoy myself. This came when I actually started to connect with my family, again. 

This might have been a good time, but the best thing came during the night side of Christmas, after a day of fighting. Everyone came over and joked around. Then my cousins and I decided to try all of the hot sauce that I had previously received that week. We sat around a table and pulled numbers from a cup to decide which hot sauce to try. During this, we all joked around and had a blast. The hot sauce was fantastic and it all showed that you don’t have to receive anything to love the season. 

CHRISTMAS has became about getting the perfect gift. So much zone that we have forgotten that Christmas is about family. Love is suppose to be the center of Christmas. This being said, why do we stress out so much about buying gifts, that only brings anger and hatred. CHRISTMAS is suppose to bring families close, not tear them apart. That is the real meaning of Christmas. The meaning being; instead of worrying about buying a gift that honestly won’t matter in a year, why don’t we spend the time reconnecting and sharing memories as a family. Only then will we feel the magic of Christmas, again. 

I had this amazing post ready to be written. It was going to be huge, as Donald would say. But as I was about to write it, something kept me from doing so. I was unable to find my music player; my tablet. This is something that I can’t write without, because I find it hard to concentrate without music. I looked all over the house for it, I started with my desk, which is a dang mess. I destroyed my desk in hopes that I could find the tablet, but the more I turned things over, the more I noticed that it wasn’t under the piles of papers, games, and empty soda bottles.

This got me to thinking about where it could have went. As I was getting mad, I remembered watching Hells Kitchen while making the Thanksgiving Turkey, so I walked into the kitchen and started to flip things over, just wanting to find the tablet, so I could get this blog post written and get to bed, since I have to be up super early tomorrow. But I couldn’t find the Tablet in the kitchen, either. I was irritated at this point. After minutes of walking through the house, I finally gave in and woke my wife up. I didn’t want to wake her up, because she has problems getting to sleep, but I saw the time beginning to fly away, so I knew I needed to do it. I went into the room and asked her to keep her eyes close (so I can turn the light on) which woke her up immediately.

I knew I was doomed when she started to talk. She asked what was going on, so I explained that I couldn’t find the tablet, and that I was going to check the room. She grunted and told me to hurry and find it. As I was looking through our belongings, she told me that she heard it in the kitchen on Sunday. I tried to explain that I already checked there, but she insisted that I checked again, so I got up from the floor and walked into the kitchen. After a while of searching, again. I was getting really angry, this is when I realized I didn’t check one thing; under the plate on the counter. I walked over to this plate that was sitting on top of buns, when I lifted the plate, I saw the black tablet lying under the plate.

I found it! But when I looked at the time, I realized that I just spent a hour looking for the tablet and that I needed to get to bed. That is when I plugged in the tablet and went to bed (right after posting this, which makes no sense. If I was needing to get to bed, then why did I write this, and if I was going to write, why didn’t I just write the original post? What a dang fail….*FacePalm!*)
Have a great night, guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

My self doubt story.

When I was little, I was made fun of everyday. I wasn’t poor or anything, but everyone around me seem to make fun of me as I was. I remember a few times that I was broken because of these comments, so today (in an attempt to share awareness) I want to talk about one event that led to me being full of self doubt.

When I was about 7, my house burnt down. That day, I wanted to stay home but my mom told me that I wasn’t allowed to. I didn’t feel good,  but it wasn’t a stomach ache, it was more of a heart ache. I didn’t know what was going on, but my mother pushed me out the door. I was in art class, later that day and my hands started to shake for no reason. My friends were worried for me, but I told them that I was fine then went back to painting my picture. I remember that day all to clearly. I was at recess when a crowd of kids ran to the slide. I was such a follower, so I followed them and asked what was going on. They all pointed to the sky, where a cloud of smoke hovered over the town. The excitement was quickly put out and we went back to playing four-square. Later that hour, I was called into the principals office. I knew I wasn’t in trouble, but they still wanted to see me. When I walked through the doors, my mother was sitting there fully covered in ashes. Her face was a dark grey and she smelt like smoke. They had me sit down and told me that our house had burnt down. I didn’t fully understand what that meant, but I could tell it wasn’t good. I didn’t know what to do, but my mom pulled me close and hugged me. I pulled away and told her that she smelt like smoke. The room irrupted in a giggle. During a bathroom break that day, we were all standing in line. The kids were all talking about the smoke cloud, that is when I told them that it was my house that burnt down. They all laughed and began to mock me “You don’t even have a house” “Stop lying, you don’t have a house like you don’t have any friends.” The teacher came up to me in line, after talking to the principal and gave me a hug, followed by saying that she was very sorry about my house. The kids were in shock, as I was telling the truth, and surrounded me. They acted like the words said previously were never said, but deep down it was still killing me, because it was clear that it was all true.

They were probably right, I didn’t have any friends. No one liked me because I was different, because I didn’t have the money like everyone else. My family was just broken apart, my mother was trying to figure everything out. Then our house burnt down, I was literally all alone in the hardest days of my life, the only thing I had was my messed up life and the words that were said that day. Those small words have haunted me through my life and have caused me to think low about myself. I usually find myself mot saying how I feel, because I am scared of what people will say. I don’t want to be hurt like that day, again. That day also took away all my self confidence, which I still lack to this day especially when it comes to sharing any of my own work.

Bullying will ruin a life, even if the bullying isn’t severe. That is why its important to stand for those who can’t stand for themselves. If you see someone getting bullied, don’t walk the other way. No! Save them. Even if it is just telling the person to leave them alone, you don’t know what will save that persons life. I am not only talking about his/her actual life, I am also talking about how they feel about themselves for the rest of their lives. Don’t be a part of the problem, instead be the light into the dark world. Be different, you could help make someone great.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I am the best.

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We are all going to go through rough times, that’s life. We are all going to battle things, some things that we might keep deep in our closet, also somethings that we can’t battle alone. You have to be the definer of that, though, no one else can decide for you. If you don’t feel that you can win the battle, then it is time to reach out for someone and try to get help. What battles do you classify as “Unwinnable?” some people may ask you this. For me this would be anything that you haven’t battled in the past, but like I said, you are the only one that can decide that. But at the same time, you should never go into any battle alone.
I have been dealing with a lot lately. This is the post that I will come out and open up. I have never been good at opening up to anyone. I have always been scared of losing people because of my problems, so I would usually keep it to myself, put on a smile and hope that I don’t lose the battle. I usually pushed the people away, distancing myself from everything, then I would go into the war alone. At first I would fire all my guns at the enemy, but what happens when I lost my weapon or I ran out of ammo? This was in the moments of me getting tired. I would lower my arms from holding the gun and would try to rest. But if you know anything about war then you would know, that is when the enemy will strike. They wont wait until you are rest, that would be crazy. If they would do that, then there wouldn’t be an advantage. I could go awhile on my one tank of gas “emotion,” but that would eventually run out. This was the time in my life that the enemy would hit me. The enemy would use my doubts as their ammo. They would hit me hard, breaking every wall had built up down. They knew what my weaknesses were and they would use it against me, all the time. After they beat me down and took my barrier, they would stand over me and kick my lungs in. These are the moments that suicide became my only option, yet something always was there to save me. This could be someone reaching out, a random act of kindness or God giving me hope, whatever the situation, I always found a way out.
These were the past battles. They would come in waves. It would always hit me in the worse times, usually when I was tired or emotionally weak, usually after losing something close to me. But they always ended. It would last for about two weeks, I would get all down, then it would end. But for some reason the pain doesn’t go away anymore. Back in the day the pain would come and go, there were times it would stay a lot longer, but it always went away. These days, not so much, the thoughts and doubts cloud my mind and makes it hard for me function at times. I have tried to reach out and get some help, but its like the pain will cease for a short-bit, but then will come back stronger. Sadly, I have to say that I am going through another wave, right now.
I was talking to my cousin, at work, today. We were talking about what is on our mind. I know that during work isnt the best time to talk about emotions, but I needed to vent. That is when I dug deep inside and told him how my mind works. I realized something about myself today, I stress about everything. The way my brain works is; I will get tired, I will see more bills, I will start to think of everything going bad (Car issues to eyesight), I will think of ways to get that fixed, I will stress about my job, I will hate myself for working at McDonald’s, I wont think I’m a good worker which makes me fear that I am a failure, I will doubt that I’m a good husband, I think of my dreams and doubt my future as a writer, I will get discouraged and lose my passion, then I will get down and will start to push everyone away.
This is a rough description of how I feel. I know that everyone is dealing with their own problems, and I know that I shouldn’t be bringing my hurt to page, but I want everyone to know that you aren’t alone. There has to be someone out there that feels your pain. I want to say all this, just to tell you to not give up. There is a world out there, at times it will be scary, but nothing in life will be clear as day. You will doubt everything in life. You just have to have faith in the things you want. If you feel like you are losing ground, it is best that you get someone that has beat the battle you’re facing. These people are your best chance at survival. My biggest problem is I feel everyone has better things to do, other than help me, but that isn’t always true. God sends us people to help us out, we just have to be smart to know who is who.  

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I was meaning to get this out yesterday, but I got busy. Also, the amount of information, I had to get, was more than I expected when I told you guys this was coming. I am just blessed to have you guys, because you are some of the most reasonable people. You could have been mad, but you weren’t. You guys understood that life happens, so for that I thank you and welcome you to a recap of my writing journey. There will be times that the blog will feel rushed, but do remember, there are 5 years to cover in just one post. I did a lot of cutting, some things that I really didn’t want to, in order to get to some special moments. We will start from 2011 and will end on Wednesday July 27th, 2016. I really hope you guys enjoy. All stats will also be at the bottom of the post, in case you want to skip to the end. But I ask you to read it all!

I want to say thank you. Without you guys, I wouldn’t be here! I am truly thankful for you!

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We are all humans, we are all venerable to heartbreak. We search for the love of our lives, but sometimes things don’t go as planned. We meet the right person, and we think everything is amazing. Our hearts want to wrap this girl/boy up and never let go. I was like everyone else. But after the girl walked away, I broke. Depression was the worse thing, ever. People told me to get over it, but I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t want to learn either. This is when I posted my first blog ever. I posted “The problem with getting over it” in November 2011, under Living example b, which was my band blog. The blog was me pouring out my heart to the girl, asking why she left and trying to inform people that I couldn’t get over her, it was more of a prayer than anything. I deleted that post a few years later, as I realized that the blog was an old part of me, and that it was a great reason that I couldn’t get over this girl. The first post (that stayed up) was an update to “Problem with getting over it.” This blog was the start of something amazing, as I spent many Tuesdays writing. One day, I finally got my first comment. This comment wasn’t anything special, it was a guy inviting me to his blog, but it was still my first comment, and meant that someone was looking at my blog! This was an amazing moment, since I never promoted my blog, anywhere!
I was unable to get the stats off this blog, mainly because BlogSpot is crappy. I posted on this blog for a few years, but on 5/4/13, I released my very last blog on “Living Example b” that was titled “Dreams.”

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During the last blogs of “Living example B” I was deciding if I wanted to go back to college, which is clear in “Dreams.” I didn’t have the money to go to college, but I knew I needed to in order to get a good job. I was in a rut, and didn’t know what to do. I never had the luxury of having my parents pay for college. My dad always worked, but it was never enough. After months of debating, I decided to go to a cheap college, a seminary, and pursuing a career in youth ministry. After I quit the college, due to money, I came back and lost my way. I didn’t want to write anymore. The one thing that kept me alive was no longer something that I found needed. I quit, even after I quit college to “Follow my writing career.” I wanted to be a writer, I wanted to do great thing for God in the writing field. Tides changed when I came back, which led me to a very long spurt of not writing. But then I met Ariel.

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I got with this amazing girl, Ariel. She was so amazing and always challenged me to do amazing things. I found myself trying to make a return to the writing community. I was unemployed. So I would spend the time when Ariel was at work to write stories. I was using an application called “Pocket writers,” but also I was trying to help people. I found myself on “Talk life,” spending a lot of hours talking people out of Suicide, that is when an idea came in mind. I would go on to make a blog, on BlogSpot, that was used to help people in need. During the month of June of 2013, I posted a few blogs that were requested by a couple of my fans. The one post that I thought would change lives was “healing the wounded from the looks.” This was a blog for a girl that had a boyfriend that was looking at other girls, while they were together. She came to me broken, asking me what she should do. I told her what I would do through this blog. I also talked about Religion and Gay rights, but this blog would only last 24 days, before I hit a big slump.

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I would like to skip this part, because this was the worse writers block, ever! There was a time where I would refuse to even think about Writing. It happened shortly after my wife washed my iphone, eliminating any way of writing. I got a phone that couldn’t connect to “Pocket writers” and that was very uncomfortable to write blogs. During this time, I also got a new job and we (Ariel and I) got engaged. Everything was getting hectic, and I lost control of myself. I could have continued to write, but I lied to myself saying “I was too busy.” The biggest change was that I wasn’t taking Ariel to work followed by walking the bike trails. I would drop her off and go to work. My schedule got changed, causing me to fall from the writing wagon. By the time that I got back, my head was so cloudy. I couldn’t think of good blog ideas. If I did I wouldn’t be able to finish the idea; I would start a blog then I would think it sounded horrible, and I would delete it. It only took one sentence for me to delete a whole post. I decided to take a much needed break from writing. The clouds were beginning to separate, bringing light to a brand new blog, a brand new thought, and a great road to travel on. The new Blake was in the horizon, and he was heading at this world quickly.

It was a week before Valentines day when I found my new love. He was such an amazing person, it was love at first sight. His eyes poured into mine as I reached my hand out to him. Electricity flew through my fingertips as I touched him. Everything felt right, his touch was everything that I needed. I needed him more and more as time went by. Up to this day, I still look into his eyes like the first day. I still have much love for this guy. Impromtdude was born on February 9th, 2014. Impromtdude was never meant to be a full blown project, it was made for me to get back on my writer’s feet. I still was having a hard time getting the words out of my head, but I downloaded a writers challenge app and would use that to build stories or ideas for blogs. One day,  I was sitting in our bedroom, waiting for her to get off, and I pulled out our laptop. I flipped the application on and started to complete the challenge. The challenge would give you certain objectives to due in a certain time, which would be built on throughout the following steps. I told myself it didn’t matter what the post said, even if it sounded horrible. I just wanted to get pass this pain that I had, being tired of not being able to write, I did it. I finished my first challenge. I titled it “Crime; Armed and Dangerous.” After saving the post, I thought “What if I posted this?” The idea was great, it sounded like something that would be funny and completely different. I liked the idea, so I went onto BlogSpot and made a new blog, called “Impromtdude” translated meaning “A dude that is very random.” This was great, I enjoyed the challenges. Eventually I would release a original story series about zombies. Everything was great, but I wanted to have my own logo. With the blog just starting out, I wanted everything to be awesome, so with my minor photo editing skills I used a stock photo and Microsoft word to create the first logo for “Impromtdude” the one that you are looking at right now.

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Everything was going great, until stupid “BlogSpot” called me a robot. I requested to be paid as my blog was doing pretty well, but they locked my request, saying that I was a robot stealing others work and posting it as mine. I went to Twitter about this, my friend told me to move over to WordPress. I made the quick move in May of ‘14 and continued from where I was. After moving to WordPress, I was giving an opportunity to promote an indie film by writing a report on the trailer. I spent hours working on the rough draft, but the owner, to the movie, didn’t like parts of the blog. I didn’t like the critics and threatened to quit blogging. But after some much needed revisions, the producer was very happy with the blog and promoted my work, also. This post got 48 views in almost five days, which set a new record for the blog.

My first comment was recorded on 6/9/14 by Janet. She commented on my “about me.” This comment is below:

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Now, after the blog for the movie, I was hit with a  long run of stat problems. I was averaging a whole 1 view a day, if that. Most days I would go without any views. I felt worn out, which would leave me empty, causing me to quit blogging for the rest of the year. I did continue the next year, though.

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When I came back it was a party. I was ready to take this blog to the next level. This is when I decided to post a new logo. This logo was defiantly a downgrade from the first logo, but it needed to change. I was coming back, a brand new man, so I had to change the way that I wrote and what the blog would stand for. This is also when I introduced that I was going to start writing and posting daily. I was excited to start this new journey. As I started to post daily, I noticed that my stats were growing rapidly compared to the past. It motivated me to do more amazing things. I decided that I no longer liked the current logo, so I spent a few hours perfecting the new logo, the same one that I use to this day. I love how this logo looks, and I feel it fits the blog a lot more than the previous logo.

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A while after making the new logo,  I decided to give a big shout out to a friend, that raps. He has a group called 878, which is a Christian Rapping group. This time, I spent more time researching the topic and asking the artist questions. After an interview, I did a quick blog for his blog to promote his group. This shattered the views record as it pulled in 38 views in the first day. Today this post alone has 87 views. I got a lot of credit for the blog, which led to others coming to me to promote them, but something more amazing was about to happen. One of the 878 fans contacted me, asking what I would charge to promote him. I told him to just share my work, after done, and we would call it even. He said that was great, and we started planning for this blog. During the planning, he introduced me to a man that has a promoting company. This guy wanted me to be the writing promoter for his company, but we didn’t agree on certain things, so I turned down the position in order to stay real within myself. I would go on to have the best stats for the blog, to that date, at the end of the year.

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2016 was a year I used to build my image, so that I could get myself out to more people. With that being the plan, I decided that I needed to put my logo on clothes. Clothes are the biggest billboard and the best way to get yourself out there, quickly. This is when I met up with an amazing woman, and she made me an amazing hoodie. The clothing store will be up shortly. Also I decided to make myself easier to be found and creating my own domain would lead to a great amount of traffic, so on March 6th, 2016, I purchased “Impromtdude.com” for a year. This year was made to help build my name and my audience, and it has been working. I have seen great amount of traffic to this blog, already. Impromtdude has blown every stat out of the water, half way through the year. I have more visitors, stats, comments, and likes than any year, ever. I have been working on my grammar, and though I have a long way to go, I feel that I am gaining subscribers, mainly because I sound more professional. I am happy where I am, right now, and I know that this is only going to get better.

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Now we will go over all stats!
    

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First Blog- Living Example B        First Post date- 11/20/11      First post- “Problem with getting over it.”
First comment date- 4/5/12       Last post date: 5/4/13
Livingexampleb.blogspot.com

Second Blog- Voice from Beyond   Time of Blog- 6/1/13 – 6/24/13      Facebook fans: 40
Thevoicefrombeyond23.Blogspot.com

Third blog- Impromtdude (WordPress.)   First Blog- 5/12/16         First comment- 6/9/14.
Most beautiful comment by: Chelsea         Most common Commenter: Angelica Kidd
Biggest Facebook fan: Greg Jenkins Best twitter Follower: Katie Salers a.k.a Book Devourer
Best Blog: 878: A legacy…… Impromtdude.com
Year stats:
2014- 380 views, 189 Visitors, 9 likes, 15 comments    Country to view most: United kingdom
2015- 818 views, 535 visitors, 24 likes, 16 comments        Not including                Saudi Arabia
2016- 1436 views, 800 visitors, 140 likes, 72 comments.      N. America                  India
Totals: 359 posts, 2634 views, 1524 Visitors, 170 comments, 59 followers.
 

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude