Posts Tagged ‘hurt’

This is an old story that I was writing. I didn’t like where it was going, so I stopped writing it. I am now showing you guys that story. It is only a short snippet, but it’s what I got done before growing bored of the idea. I hope that is fine!

red school blur factory

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Hospital from Hell

Chapter 1: Birthdays of Regret

She is seventy-seven today. Mary spent most of her birthdays looking at the old photos taking from her old pageants, wishing she could go back to the old days and receive that internship with Marilyn Agency once again.

That was the best day of her life. She was sitting in the kitchen chewing on a piece of bland chicken that her mother attempted to cook, when the phone rang throughout the trailer she was forced to be crammed into. Mary ran to the phone and answered, hoping that it was the management of Marilyn, she had dreamed of that phone call since her first pageant, and spent many nights waiting by the phone for this one phone call.

“Hello, my name is Brian, the Main manager at Marilyn.”

Mary was speechless, could this be real? Could her dream really becoming true with this one phone call, or was it coming to an end? Without this internship, Mary could kill modeling goodbye. Her mother already stated that unless  she proved by her senior year that she could become a model, she wouldn’t be allowed to pursue that dream.

“Hello, Mary Vengerro?” Brian ensured that he had not been disconnected

“Yes, I’m here” Marys’ voice cracked, leaving her embarrassed on the line.

“Yes, Mary, I’m calling on the behalf of your most recent application.”

Mary smiled big as she awaited her life to change

“I’m saddened to inform you that you haven’t been selected to participate in this year’s internship program.”

Megan’s heart dropped, tears filled her eyes. She tried to keep her composer while on the phone, but the tears came, and hard.

“Mam, Are you okay?” Brian asked sincerely, but she didn’t answer.

“Mam?” Brian repeated, again no one answered. He disconnects the phone.

Megan slams down the phone then throws it against the wall; her mother heard the sound and rushed in her room.

“What are you doing?” Linda asked as she searched for damage on Megan’s freshly painted wall.

“Nothing, leave!” Megan screams, Her mother steps back and puts her hand up.

“Don’t talk to me like that, little missy!” Megan puts her hand over her face and begins to bawl. Linda sits next to her and grabs her.

“They didn’t want me!” Linda couldn’t tell what she said so she asked what she said.

“They modeling company rejected me!” The room got silent, Megan waited for her mom to grab her, but she didn’t.

“No duh, your too fat!” Linda’s words hit hard. Megan couldn’t hold back what happens next, she blacks out.

Her hand flies through the air and makes contact with her mom’s face. Her head snaps back, not expecting the blow from her daughter.

Megan gets on top on her and began to punch her. Linda’s face began to get swollen with each hit. Blood was seeping through her nose; her eyes were nearly shut from the abuse she was receiving.

“Stop” Linda Screamed, Megan swings hard, and hits her in the mouth. She pulls back her hand to see a tooth came out with the punch and now was in her fist.

Finally Amber pulls away. Realizing what she did, Amber runs out of the room. Linda was left there, gasping for the tiniest lung full of air, but each breath she took was full of her own blood.

Megan comes back in to the room, Linda is still lying there with no movement, her chest isn’t moving. Megan hurries over to her, hoping she isn’t dead.

She jumps on top of her mother. Feels her chest and sees that her mother was still alive. Knowing that her mother would put her in jail, Megan had to do something.

“Mom, dad did this you go that? I will kill you if you say I did!” Linda nodded in agreement.

Megan left the room and called 911.

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Before we start tonight, I want to spend a few minutes and say thank you. John, thank you for caring about me. You texted me last night and told me how awesome I was. Thank you for sharing about your day, sorry that your day wasn’t that great. You deserve the best. You deserve to be happy and have amazing days. I am glad to hear that you wait for my posts, you have helped me decide that I want to continue writing. Thank you! You rock, I love you!

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She is gone.
When my mother left, it hurt me more than I knew. She walked out the door and walked out into the night air. She was gone and I was without a mother. I was without someone that I trusted my life with, she was gone. She didn’t care that I was hurting, she had things to do and I wasn’t a part of her plans. It took many years for me to find a way to cope with her absence, but this type of coping may have led me through more walls than doors. The way that I have coped with her being gone is being a comical jerk, someone that has to make jokes to hide that he is actually hurt.
In high school, I use to make fun of my mother, and I would laugh along with all of my friends. They didn’t know that I was actually broken, but I never wanted them to know that. It was a sign of weakness to show that I was vulnerable, so I put up all of these walls to make sure no one saw that I was hurt. I hid behind my humor and everyone fell for it. This was great! I was able to convince myself that I was okay with not having my mother. This was great until it began to be a bigger part of me. I began to joke about everything, until nothing was serious to me. This did change when I started to go to church. Church was the only time that I would actually let my emotions flow. Talking to God was the best feeling. Even if he didn’t say anything to me, I knew (in my heart) that he was listening to me. I was able to finally cry without being afraid of someone laughing at me.
I use to cry a lot at church. I would lay on my face and just bawl. Sometimes, I didn’t even know why I was crying, but it felt so good, so I never questioned it. There was a service about mothers, and I remember sinking into my seat and bawling. I cried the whole sermon and more. I was called to the front to talk to the pastors after the sermon and they hugged me. I don’t know why, but it actually felt like my mother was hugging me. Great, things are good now, right? I was able to get back to feeling, I was able to cry again, I was no longer scared to let my emotions out, correct? Yeah, NO! It lasted for a while, but nothing stayed that good for long.
I did say that it lasted for a while, right? I was able to let my emotions out for a good amount of time, but then something happened. I was no longer able to feel. My emotions were shut off and I couldn’t feel inside my heart. I was becoming cold and angry, again. Church just wasn’t the same, anymore. I was drifting away from God and I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I thought going to church more would help. The more that I went, though, the more that I felt the pain grow. Even if the sermon was the most touching, I was unable to go to that place, the place where my emotions could be freed. I needed serious help, my walls were being built again, the same walls my mother forced me to build years before. This is when I began to push people away.
I was able to find my emotions, again. They were found in a girl. This girl was standing twenty feet from me, my heart felt alive again. The next couple months were the best in my life. She taught me what it felt like to care. She taught me why it’s okay to let my emotions out. I was told that emotions were never meant to stay within, because they are meant to be carried by two, not by one. This shook me as I opened up, something that I should have never done. She broke my heart a month later. She allowed her sister to dictate who she was allowed to talk to. Again, the wall went up. This time, it stayed.
I moved away the next summer. I was chasing something, a feeling that I once felt. There was a Church that I thought would help me, but it came to pass. When I got there, it wasn’t the same. This is when I realized that my walk with Christ was no longer the same. I tried to get back to the way that I use to feel, but nothing would work. I only stayed a semester, then moved back home.
Nothing was the same when I got back, though. People moved on and plans changed. It was like I was in a whole new place, with people that I didn’t know. I guess I was hurt that no one seemed to care that I was back. They were okay without me. I told myself that it was a lie, but I never could seem to convince myself. This is when I met my wife, Ariel. She gave me happiness, but something was still missing. The piece that will always be missing. When my mother left, she took something from me that I didn’t know. She took my emotions. I haven’t felt truly sad about something in over 5 years. I stopped caring when I got back from college, when I saw that everyone moved on, When I realized that everyone moved on like my mother. I try to find a way to break down this wall, but the tools are not strong enough. They are broke under the pressure of all my DAMN baggage, I feel like I will never be okay. I miss her! I wish that I could have a heart to heart conversation with my mother. I want to ask her what she was thinking, why she left us, why couldn’t she just be a GODDAMN GOOD PARENT!! But I will never know. She will always have an excuse, I just wish I meant more to her, meant enough for her to drop her act and tell me why she left me. She left too soon.

Dear Mom,
I sit here, waiting for you to walk in those doors. I waited for you to come back for years, but you never came back. You had better things to do, but we weren’t it, were we? Why did you leave me, why did you leave me with these questions? I deserve these answers, dammit! I have giving you the power for so many years, hoping that you would just tell me why I wasn’t good enough!!!!! I want the power back, but you forced these walls up and I cant break them down. I want to take the wall down, but I cant without knowing how you could leave me as a child. How could you leave me at Ten and never even check up on me. I spent years trying to find you, but when I found you, you were full of excuses. You hurt me more than anything. But my biggest question is; why is it that you hurt me so much, but I still want you to hug me and tell me that you love me. Mom, I wish you were better. I wish you weren’t gone. 
Sincerely yours,
A BROKEN CHILD.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Omg like what is going on?  This is so sad! I cant believe I am crying during this show. Gordon is such a beautiful person, and he really brings out the good in people.. I have been watching and learning through his show “Kitchen Nightmares.” I want to be like him one day. Such as this episode that I am watching right now. What is it about, you might ask?

“Kitchen nightmares” is a show where Gordon Ramsey will go around looking for failing restaurants. When he finds the failing restaurants, he will spend a week trying to get them up and going. The episode I am watching right now is about an Irish pub and grill called “Finn Mc Cool’s.” The pub is failing because of their food, but also the owners son, Brian. He has a horrible attitude because he isnt treated well. He has said that he wants to leave, but hasn’t. His father also doesn’t want to keep him around. This makes the two really but heads.

By the middle of the show; Brian has decided that he wants to leave. Gordon has been on his ass, also his father is being hard on him. With the stress being too much, Brian quits in the middle of service. Without their lead chef, the restaurant falls onto Buddy’s shoulders. Buddy quickly shows that he can’t run the grill, at all. He fails to impress Gordon. With that being said, Gordon reaches out to Brian. He tells him how impressed he is by the amount he deals with.. Brian shows that he wants to come back and is seen in the next scene, running the grill. By the end of the show, Buddy and the rest of the crew finally catch wind. They become a great restaurant for the few locals. Even with their success in the show, troubles were to follow. Buddy had a heart attack and has decided to take a break from the business. Buddy sold the pub to a local and it closed officially in 2012. Brian has opened Shuckers with a childhood friend and is still there today; they now cater.

I am not here to give you a history lesson though. I am here to tell you that I want to be like Gordon. Gordon is one of the best chefs in America, but that isnt what makes him shine to me. His leadership and ability to say what he wants, when he wants. The way that he carries himself is perfect. He has a cockiness that makes everyone around him want to be better. With becoming a general manager I want to become as brilliant as the man on T.V. He has ran so many successful restaurants and has saved a dozen more. Every time I watch these shows, I slowly see myself becoming more like him. I hope to become a great manager. This is going to take hard work and a lot more of these episodes. Let me stop rambling and get back to watching this amazing show. Have a great night, my babes.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

October is just around the corner. Many are excited about Halloween, The Walking Dead or more football, but I am more excited about something more meaniful. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM), which is a campaign to raise awareness about the early signs of breast cancer for women and men around the world, while also raising money for future research.

NBCAM was founded in 1985 by AstraZeneca, a drug company that produces cancer fighting drugs such as Armidex and Tamoxifen. Though they found NBCAM, the first national race for the cure was held in Dallas, Texas in 1983. 800 people came out and supported the cause. Present day attendance has gotten up to over a million people.

Breast cancer is cancer that forms in the breast of men and women. Breast cancer is formed from a Malignant tumor, started in the cells of a breast. Malignant tumors are a group of cancerous cells that can grow into surrounding tissues or spread to further parts of the body. Breast cancer will usually start forming in the milk ducts or the lobules that supply the milk. Cancer that is formed in the Lobules is called “Lobular Carcinoma,” where as cancer formed in the ducts is labeled “Ductal Carcinoma.”

Some of the known symptoms include; Lumps in the breast, bloody discharge from the nipple, or changes of shape or texture of the nipple or breast. Breast cancer can only be found from medical diagnoses and lab test (imaging). Treatments depend on the stage of cancer. It could consist of chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery.

Sadly, 1-of-8 women will be diagnosed with Breast cancer, the second leading cause of cancer death among women. Each year, on average, 26,660 will be diagnosed with this disease, and 40,00 will lose the battle. Among men, 2,600 will be diagnosed, where as 440 will not survive. Averagely this means every 2 minutes a woman is diagnosed, while every 13 minutes a woman loses her battle. Today, there are over 2 million breast cancer survivors alive!

Breast Cancer resides in men and women usually between the ages of 19-60+. There have been cases where children, under the age of 19, have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, though it is very rare to see.

There is good news, though. There has been a decline in women over 50 being diagnosed. Researchers think this is from the decline in Hormone Replacement Therapy giving after menopause. Also, death rates have declined greatly since 1990, due to better screenings, earlier detections, increased awareness and better treatments. This is why your help is needed!

There are organizations out there, they are teaming up with hospitals and Breast Cancer facilities around the world, in order to try to find new treatments, form better education on Breast Cancer and reveal better preventions, while also forming support groups for men and women who suffer from Breast Cancer. In 2015, National Breast Cancer Foundation helped by donating 82.9% of all donations to the cause. Thanks to the money that was raised (from every donation) 2.8 million people are still alive today, as survivors. We could help make that over 3 million with just a simple donation, this is why I will be helping.

First, I will be helping by sharing awareness by wearing a Breast Cancer Awareness Pin, everyday, for the month of October. Wearing this pin helps raise awareness, shows respect, and a portion of the money I paid (for the pin) goes straight to research. This isn’t all though, also for every “like” my blog gets, I will be donating $1. I hope that you guys take this seriously and help me fight for the cure!
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A quick hello.

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Could I talk about nothing for three paragraphs? I think that is pretty easy, but we will see. If you enjoy this then don’t expect more…because this is me killing time, I wouldn’t want to waste your time more than I already have. I bet half of you already have clicked off, so now I am talking to the realist! I am talking to the real fans that I have, which is awesome. You might be the real fans, but I still will waste your time. Lets go:

Technically this is the second paragraph but we wont count it. We will say this is the first paragraph. This first paragraph is going to be talking about how I am stupid. I am stupid because I still do things that keep hurting me. I have been kicking (practicing punting) and actually hurt myself, again. Last year I was kicking and landed on a pretty big rock, spraining my ankle. I wasn’t smart about the injury, and I went on to get tendonitis. This put me out for the rest of the fall. Now that its getting cold again, I chose to start training again but then I hurt myself again. I was kicking the other night and tried to go harder than before and ended up bruising my heel. This wouldn’t be a problem but it’s actually my kicking foot. Now, I have to wait for it to get better before I start training again. This is annoying, I just want to stop getting hurt when I start getting better….

The other thing is; I got my desk back! I spent a few hours getting my desk clean, today. I had a lot of things out of place and I wanted to get it situated. My wife had to go help her family, so I took the time and got productive! I realized something; I have a lot of pens. I have enough pens to fill a small Christmas gift box! That’s a lot of pens. The worse part is that I don’t want to stop buying pens. I love the various types of pens and colors. I guess this is better than buying drugs, but it still worries me. What if I become a hoarder of pens? I actually got mad about one of my pens missing, is that healthy? No! I don’t think so! At least my desk is more organized, though.  

More top tens coming. I like to post Top 10s when I have to work night shifts. They are fun to do and easy to finish. What is hard about throwing ten things together? Well that is why I do it when I have to work. This is being made super easy with a new purchase! I found a book at Barnes & Noble that I had to pick up. This book is to bring you closer to yourself. In the book you have to complete Top 10s about various topics. Though this book is an easy way to bring forth blogs, I wont be using it for blogs. I have a whole page of Top 10s that I can do, but I find this could help me venture out and find new things to like or realize what I use to love. It is going to be amazing, something that I will share with you in further days. I just think it’s an amazing purchase.

Well that wasn’t hard.
I thought writing three paragraphs was hard, but I was wrong. I was totally wrong, it was easy. Night guys!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Trying it out.
We all have an opinion and emotions that make it original. Emotions are great to have since it makes it you, but also it can get you into trouble if you don’t think before expressing. Being a writer , I know that without emotion this job wouldn’t make since. The biggest problem is that people don’t think before they speak. People want to be heard, whether it’s a rant or excitement, they want to be heard! The problem is these people want to spill out their anger then make it public, then afterwards think about how that will affect their life. You have to be smart when expressing your emotions, you don’t want to tear a close one down because of momentary anger.
I started this blog because of emotion. I was torn from a girl that left me and I needed to get it out. I didn’t know where else to go, because people were saying “get over it,” that is when I turned to blogging. I knew that I would be safe if I didn’t share it with everyone. The blog was my personal blog that no one would know about, that I could go post when I was down. It worked. I had so much pain built up, that I was letting it affect my personality and how I saw things. After I started to post my EMOTIONS, I saw that I was able to finally live life again, did it suck still? Well of course, but I wasn’t holding everything in.
Where that story is great, there is also another side of Blake I hate! The down Blake that likes to dramatize crap on Social Media. The last week, I was notified about past memories on Facebook. When I looked at the memories, I cringed from how down I was. All of the statuses were me begging people for attention. “I am done with this” “I hate my job” “Screw the Church” were some of the comments. I was angry at how I was treated (from the church) and I wanted to be heard. But now, after the incident, I am fine and see where I was wrong to post. I should have let it go, but instead I made myself look foolish. I posted before I thought and it made me look like a teenage girl! That isn’t me. I am not one to rant on social media, that is why I have a blog, but I didn’t think before posting. I deleted a few of the post, since they didn’t represent who I am, but I still think “What if I didn’t post that, what if I thought first?” Sometimes we allow our emotions to control us, which can only lead to danger. I was watching this woman last night, and she was talking about how she wrote a blog about her family. She was mad about Christmas and just wanted to share her thought. She posted the blog without thinking, and the person that she was talking about happened to read it. She was no longer mad abut the situation, but now she had to fix the situation with her friend, since she emotionally about her.
I am a strong believer in posting to make a change. I post dumb material to make you guys laugh, just incase you had a bad day and needed a laugh. On the other hand, I post life stories to help those in need of the same thing. Then I also post rants, but I write them in a way to not offend ones person, but to express how I feel about the situation. Such as the anthem situation. I could have posted about it, but what could I say to help the situation? I couldn’t, because I don’t fully understand it, so I choose to stay out of it. That is where I control my emotions and where I stand. If I can’t help someone through something, then why post it? I love to rant, but I don’t like the negativity in my posts, instead I aim to be a life changer. This is my purpose; to use my emotions and thoughts to bring entertainment and maybe, just maybe bring happiness into those who need it!!
You can share how you feel, but first you should edit. The last thing you want to do is say something you will regret. It is great to tell everyone about a new job, but why should you call someone out? It isn’t going to help and you might regret it after it is out there. So if you want to negatively post emotions, make sure you take a few seconds and see if you can find a silver lining, then edit it accordingly. If you are sure you want to post it, then go ahead. Post your emotions, it is the most original part about you!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

For one, I am so freaking sore!
I just got out of the shower, but I don’t feel any better. Actually, I feel worse! I don’t know what to say, I am one old fart that cant stay healthy. Who knew that going outside could do something so horrible, but it can….Remember that! Remember that outside is dangerous… Nothing serious happened, just a busy day, yesterday. My family and I went to a waterpark. Since I am a beast at my job, they gave me free tickets (Not serious, I had to work) so we were able to get in free! No one passes up a free day at a waterpark, other than aliens…they might. While at this water park, I involved myself in some crazy activities that led me to hurt, really bad.
The thing that hurts the most is my back, arms and legs. Let us talk about my back first. I think my back hurts from punting the other night. Things happened, the other night, and I spent a hour punting a football. Being the first time (in quite awhile) I should have stopped after a few minutes, but I didn’t. From kicking the football to my foot placement I must have pulled something. This isnt so bad, I usually have backaches (From scoliosis) but adding this to the other pains really blows!
From my back we must go up to my arms! My arms are small chopsticks that don’t get much action. I use to work out a lot, but I have gotten really lazy and have failed to workout in months. My arms aren’t as they use to be, which isnt good when you want to get active again. While at the waterpark, I was able to go to a driving range, also a pretty awesome batting cage. The golfing could have caused my back pain, also, but I don’t know. The golfing caused blisters on my palms and my shoulders to hurt. Being stupid, I went into the batting cage right after. The bats sucked, so when I hit the balls, the bat refused to work, causing a long vibrating through my arms! While hitting the balls, I felt my bicep being pulled, also. This is why my arms are so sore, but why my feet? Thanks for asking, babe!
Of course, my right foot hurts because of the punting, but the right foot has another reason to hurt. The reason for the other pain is from the water! There is an amazing ride at the waterpark that I rode a few times. This ride is like a big toilet bowl, mainly you go down a slide into a big bowl that spins you around, after spinning you fall into the water below! I really enjoy this ride, so much that I rode it the most. It was really fun, but I had an accident the first time going. The woman told me what to do, cross your feet and slide. I did that, but at the end my foot came out and caught a piece of the slide. During the impact I felt my leg being pulled back. I watched as my foot bent all the way back. There was a sharp pain in my hip followed by a long agonizing pain in my ankle. It felt like I ripped a muscle, but I didn’t, thankfully! I was able to walk away from the ride and continue the day, but it started hurting worse today!
I woke up with a huge pain in my ankle, a pain that I thought would keep me out of work, but I was able to get over the hill and go to work. The pain got worse through work. I got to come home after 10 hours, only to be struck with everything. All of my limbs became stiff and I was unable to do anything. My back caused me to slump over or else I couldn’t breathe. The rest of my body was stiff enough where I couldn’t move quickly. This is when I decided to take a shower. The shower did everything, but make it better! The hot water only caused my back to hurt more. I don’t know what I should do, but I am going to pop a few pills and go to bed.
I had a great time yesterday and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I passed my exam and I deserved to have fun, I just didn’t know it was going to lead to this. Though I am in pain,  I would go back and do it again. Everyone deserves to relax. That is why I am telling you this, don’t allow stress to overbear you. Instead, find something that you guys love to do and do it!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I am the best.

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We are all going to go through rough times, that’s life. We are all going to battle things, some things that we might keep deep in our closet, also somethings that we can’t battle alone. You have to be the definer of that, though, no one else can decide for you. If you don’t feel that you can win the battle, then it is time to reach out for someone and try to get help. What battles do you classify as “Unwinnable?” some people may ask you this. For me this would be anything that you haven’t battled in the past, but like I said, you are the only one that can decide that. But at the same time, you should never go into any battle alone.
I have been dealing with a lot lately. This is the post that I will come out and open up. I have never been good at opening up to anyone. I have always been scared of losing people because of my problems, so I would usually keep it to myself, put on a smile and hope that I don’t lose the battle. I usually pushed the people away, distancing myself from everything, then I would go into the war alone. At first I would fire all my guns at the enemy, but what happens when I lost my weapon or I ran out of ammo? This was in the moments of me getting tired. I would lower my arms from holding the gun and would try to rest. But if you know anything about war then you would know, that is when the enemy will strike. They wont wait until you are rest, that would be crazy. If they would do that, then there wouldn’t be an advantage. I could go awhile on my one tank of gas “emotion,” but that would eventually run out. This was the time in my life that the enemy would hit me. The enemy would use my doubts as their ammo. They would hit me hard, breaking every wall had built up down. They knew what my weaknesses were and they would use it against me, all the time. After they beat me down and took my barrier, they would stand over me and kick my lungs in. These are the moments that suicide became my only option, yet something always was there to save me. This could be someone reaching out, a random act of kindness or God giving me hope, whatever the situation, I always found a way out.
These were the past battles. They would come in waves. It would always hit me in the worse times, usually when I was tired or emotionally weak, usually after losing something close to me. But they always ended. It would last for about two weeks, I would get all down, then it would end. But for some reason the pain doesn’t go away anymore. Back in the day the pain would come and go, there were times it would stay a lot longer, but it always went away. These days, not so much, the thoughts and doubts cloud my mind and makes it hard for me function at times. I have tried to reach out and get some help, but its like the pain will cease for a short-bit, but then will come back stronger. Sadly, I have to say that I am going through another wave, right now.
I was talking to my cousin, at work, today. We were talking about what is on our mind. I know that during work isnt the best time to talk about emotions, but I needed to vent. That is when I dug deep inside and told him how my mind works. I realized something about myself today, I stress about everything. The way my brain works is; I will get tired, I will see more bills, I will start to think of everything going bad (Car issues to eyesight), I will think of ways to get that fixed, I will stress about my job, I will hate myself for working at McDonald’s, I wont think I’m a good worker which makes me fear that I am a failure, I will doubt that I’m a good husband, I think of my dreams and doubt my future as a writer, I will get discouraged and lose my passion, then I will get down and will start to push everyone away.
This is a rough description of how I feel. I know that everyone is dealing with their own problems, and I know that I shouldn’t be bringing my hurt to page, but I want everyone to know that you aren’t alone. There has to be someone out there that feels your pain. I want to say all this, just to tell you to not give up. There is a world out there, at times it will be scary, but nothing in life will be clear as day. You will doubt everything in life. You just have to have faith in the things you want. If you feel like you are losing ground, it is best that you get someone that has beat the battle you’re facing. These people are your best chance at survival. My biggest problem is I feel everyone has better things to do, other than help me, but that isn’t always true. God sends us people to help us out, we just have to be smart to know who is who.  

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

As I said the other day, my first ever post was deleted, but I want to share the post with you. This is the first post that started everything 🙂 give some love :3

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In the last few Blogs you have learned that for me love hasn’t been easy lately, well I believe that the tides have finally turned. For the first time in forever I went three days without even thinking about the girl, it’s a great feeling not to be upset over a girl. Now I don’t know how long this will last, because it usually is like this until we talk then it goes down hill. I believe Jesus is going to keep it like this, and I pray he will.

Last night I stayed up until two in the morning talking to this girl. Oh my gosh this girl is amazing; she is one of my closest friends. She has been here for me every step of the way. She is the type of friend that will stay up all night if you are having a bad night to make sure you don’t go to bed upset. The thing I like the most about her the most is she’s an amazing Christian girl that has an amazing future in front of her.

Lets take a short trip into the past so you can know just how we met, she was standing right next to my sister when I came out of a service. When I first saw her it wasn’t like a I love you feeling, but I surely found myself crushing on this girl. I didn’t want to ask for her number since she had no idea who I was. When I got back home; I had a request from a girl…yeah that’s right a girl added me (its not completely impossible=p), I noticed this girl from somewhere? Then I realized it was her, the girl I met at the service. We went on to talk more on Facebook, but finally I asked for her number as if I were some pro XD. She simply said yes, and we began to talk more and more. We will spend all day talking; we never run out of things to say. Last night I told her my life story, of how my mom abused me, to how I was treated in school, she gave me comfort through all of this; She is so amazing=]

I spent this time writing this blog just to show you guys that there are really amazing true friends out there that will show you that you will never be alone in your hardest time=] Jesus loves you=] see you next week=D

Impromtdude

This is weird, but the change is so exciting. The feeling of cheating feels amazing, I don’t think I want to go back. The thrill is at an all time high, and cheating is giving me a high I have never had before. I am on cloud 9, and I don’t want to come down. I hope she doesn’t find out, but she will. I was hoping to keep this secret, but that wont happen. She knows when I’m not there, she is always around, looking in on me as I cheat. But nothing will stop me from cheating. I just hope my desk understands…..
Tonight, I am back on my tablet, but I’m not at my glorious desk. I have been cleaning our couch, and I don’t want to get the chemicals on my clothes, so I have been sitting at my desk. While sitting at my desk, I have gotten bored of being at my desk, which weirdly has an affect on my writing. With sitting at my desk, I have seen that my creative level is at a dangerous low, so tonight I decided to camp in the kitchen, in my second chair, while I write to you amazing people. I am just glad to be back on my tablet. Recently, I have been on my phone, though my phone is really convenient, I like to step back and spend some time actually typing, so I pulled out my tablet, picked an area and started to write.
Today, I was on Facebook. I was reading my newsfeed. With Durant going to Golden State, all of my friends have mixed emotions about if he’s a trader or not. I honestly don’t care, but I have some big NBA fans, so they are trying to make their point. While that is going on, though, other trades are being made. There are some amazing players in the free agency right now, and could end up with any team. My friend, Tyler, posted a status about a player that he wants on the Chicago Bulls. The player isnt good, in my eyes, but he seems to like him. I simply posted my opinion, and that was it. He accepted my opinion and moved on. Then a guy said that we needed to go after D-Wade. I posted my concern about moving him to Chicago, explaining that he won’t do so, because there simply isn’t enough to drive him here. The guy posted some really fascinating stats and points, but I wasn’t buying it. I still think moving D-wade will never happen. He will sign with Miami, and wait until Cleveland can pay him. The guy didn’t get mad, though, even after I told him his opinion was wrong, which amazed me.
He messaged me politely, and told me that he appreciated talking to me, on the subject, and thanked me. See he had a guy tell him that he was going to beat him up, all over an opinion. How stupid is that? I don’t get the point of being mad over an opinion, what is it bringing you? I understand that we have die-hard fans in this world, but to get mad enough to tell someone to die, or that you want to kick their butt, over a comment, how stupid is that? You aren’t getting anything from the team, or from your favorite player. Sports are meant for entertainment purposes, so why take them so serious? Your anger wont help Durant go back to OKC, or help Golden State lose. Honestly getting anger just shows you’re a big baby. I just don’t get why people get so serious over talking about a sport. It honestly takes the fun out of watching the sport, and causes people to stop watching. Don’t ruin the game for everyone else, all because you are butt-hurt.
Now, I do understand debating and talking about sports. I love sitting down, and talking about new trades, new players, and who will win. I certainly love talking about Football. I spend a lot of time , during the NFL season, playing fantasy and talking to people, about what’s going on in the league. I love doing it so much, that I actually have a page on Facebook, “Gridiron Retreat,” which I list my top players, talk about news around the league, and give weekly predictions. I ‘m excited to get back to doing so shortly, I am ready for football to start. But I know that when Football starts, we will get flooded with the butt-hurt fans. The one thing I remember is “They will never go away.” You just have to laugh at these fans, and get over them. Don’t get mad over what they say, because they are just trying to get their “point” across. They aren’t worth your time. But if you want to argue, go right ahead. I, on the other hand, will simply laugh as I place facts in front of them. I am the more educated one. I hope everyone enjoys their favorite sports season, and until next, peace!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude