Posts Tagged ‘heartbreak’

A thought

Posted: December 6, 2018 in Encouragement
Tags: , , , , , ,


What were you thinking when you told her that you loved someone else? What were you thinking when someone tried to steal your heart, and you fell for it? Did you think about the person that you were hurting in the long run or did you only want to fulfill your needs and wants?
I can’t believe the way that men and women treat those who they love. They tell the person that they love them, but then let “boredom” take control of their hormones, which ends in a heartbreak, and most of the time someone in the relationship cheating.
Now you might be wondering what brought this on, and the truth is I know of a lot of couples that have broken up due to one of the people in the relationship failing to stay faithful. I have had a dozen girls cry on my shoulder because of their boyfriend cheating or couldn’t stop watching porn.
Yes porn is a form of cheating, guys. Anything that makes your heart want someone else, should not be a part of your life. It might not be you cheating physically but it will Prevert your mindset on what “Sex” needs to be like.
Sex being the most pleasurable thing in marriage, can be perverted so easily, which is why I have tried to stay away from porn since I got with My wife. It makes you want something that is an act on a T.V. Which is exactly what porn is, it is just actors and actresses interacting with their genitals and gentilias. They don’t have feelings for each other. This is why I think it has become more acceptable to sleep around, because Television has told us that it is okay. Not through words that they speak but actions that happen when the video begins.
I hate that this generation is all about sex, and not about the fun of getting to know someone. I miss the days where men took women out to the movies, instead of having “Netflix and chill” dates, which has a woman suing Netflix. I will post the story below.
I wanted to talk to you guys about this in order for some of you that are in the weakness of temptation to get out. Get out before you ruin your relationship, it isn’t worth 15 minutes of pleasure. It also isn’t right that you play with someone’s heart as you will be doing, making the girl think of everything that she has ever done wrong, all because your willy wacker is hard for someone else. Well then you need to figure that problem out, but don’t you dare hurt that girl for something so selfish!
Anyways peace

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How do I get over her?

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How do I get over her?

When I was seventeen, I met the girl that changed my world. She isn’t my wife, now, but she helped me prepare myself for Ariel. I don’t know if this is okay to talk about, but know that my feelings are no longer strong about this girl. She is married now, and I am happy with who I am with. But I think someone needs to hear this and the only way to tell you guys is to bring her back up, so sorry if you guys think its disrespectful to Ariel, but know that I never meant for it to be. Please read this with an open mind, and don’t forget to share it! Someone needs to hear this.

 

I met this girl when I was seventeen. We went to a conference with the same youth group. I didn’t know anything about her, as she didn’t know about me, either. I never went to her church, but my old youth pastor was her youth pastor, at the time. He invited me to go with them, which I was excited to go to find God, but little did I know, I was about to meet someone that would go on to change my life, forever. She said hi first, and I ignored her because I was shy.

 

After the service, I went up to say sorry and she said that she understood, so I introduced myself and we began to talk. This was the start of the best part of my life (up to this point in time, of course not now) we got to know each other better each day, and we never went a day without talking. With every day that went by, I was learning more about life, God, and how to love. I changed my career path and got accepted into the same college that she was going to. We planned to go to the same school so we could be close (in order to help each other get closer to God. As we knew it can be hard to adapt.) We agreed to begin to court once we turned 18, but the more we talked, the feeling began to get stronger. Long story short; she called it off shortly after we got close; saying that her family didn’t think it was a good idea. We went our separate ways. This is what I call the dark days.

 

Losing her took a huge blow to my faith, as I couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that she wasn’t close to me anymore. I could count on my youth pastor, but he was busy with his life, and took a job at the church she attended, so I thought I had to get through this alone. The more that I fought to get over her; the more I felt the waves crashing into me. I drowned in my faith and became depressed. This led me to staring at walls for hours, not praying as much, and questioning if God was real. It got so bad that my pastors pulled me into the side room and questioned if I was okay. Kids in school asked me if I was okay; literally one day I was shining, the next I was dark and emotional. I never thought I could get over her, but I did.

 

You probably have gone through this, or are going through this now, and you may be asking how I did it? How did I get over her? It took a long time, but by doing four things, I was able to get over her, finally; realizing it was for the best, knowing that someone was out there for me, giving space and being happy for her. Let’s see what I mean;

 

  1. Realizing it was for the best.

This meant that I had to agree that I wasn’t the best option for her, and she wasn’t the best option for me. This can be hard when you first break up or break a courtship off, because the feelings are still fresh, but over time you will see that it is for the best. She was what I wanted, but not what I needed. She had different dreams; ones that I didn’t want. She wanted to see the eastern part of the world, where I was more into spreading the word to locals. This being said, our lives were never going to match up, which is good to know that neither of us are held back now, because she married in the east and I married in the local part of Illinois. What I am saying is there was a reason that it didn’t work out, you may not know right now, but one day you will know and you will smile, knowing that you were able to set her/him free and were able to do your own thing, without anything holding you down or back.

 

  1. Knowing someone was out there for me.

I have always wanted to find the perfect girl, fall in love, get married and eventually have kids. When she left, I thought all of that was over, but shortly after her leaving, I talked to someone and they said to have faith someone is out there. I didn’t want to believe it, because I didn’t want to believe that anyone could be better than her. Now that I look back on that conversation, he was right. It was scary to think that I would never meet someone, but the truth is; she was out there! She was waiting patiently for me. Know that when you close one door, another door will be opened for you. IT may hurt to go through, but the pain will be healed once you walk through that door; because your first love never amounts to your true love.

 

  1. Giving her the space she needs, also the space I need!

I had respect for this girl, so I never wanted to step over boundaries. I wanted to give her the space that she needed, wanted.  I knew that I couldn’t get over her if I was seeing her weekly, so I didn’t involve myself in events that I knew she would be at, or at least events that I knew we would have to talk a lot. When I graduated, I gave her the space by going to another college, letting her go to CBC without me. I attended a different seminary, hoping that moving would take away the pain, and it worked. I attended World Revival School of Ministry in Kansas City, Missouri. This school was all about finding a new level to your relationship with God. I never had time to think of her, and I was maturing as a person.

 

When I came back home, I was able to talk to her with no pain, at all. We were able to talk as friends, sharing our passions without thinking about the future together. It was nice, because in the end, she was still a great friend.   It is important to get yourself the room to cope with the heart break. This was the hardest part. I know it’s hard to watch someone you love move on, but you have to know that trying to force yourself into their arms will never work. Give them space, take your space and one day you could be friends (or in a special case, it could have been the wrong time for the relationship, and you could eventually fall in love, again.) I would rather have that person in my life as a friend, than not having that person in my life at all. It worked for me; I bet it can work for you, too!

 

  1. Be happy for the person!

Okay, so now we know that we have to realize better things are out there, that you won’t be alone forever, and that you have to give them space, but what should be the last thing? What will help? BE happy! Be happy for the person, be happy for your own growth; be happy that you can be friends; be happy that you didn’t have to live with the regret, be happy that you were giving the chance in the first place.

 

BE HAPPY!  So it didn’t work out! That doesn’t mean that it has to be all bad. You were able to spend that time with them, you were able to learn from this situation, and you were giving a second chance to find that somebody that will probably be better than the other one, anyway.  I am personally happy that she was able to find someone, get married and was able to change his world. I am happy that I was able to find Ariel, fall in love, get married, and start a small family one day. I am also happy that I was able to learn everything from my first love. But somethings just don’t work out, I am happy that I could live it, though. I know it hurts, but don’t let it get you down, forever.

 

Move on, and find a way to be happy. Surround yourself with friends during the dark days, and never be afraid to ask for help. I was stupid to think I had to do it all alone. You are never alone, so don’t try to do it alone. In all of this, find something to make you happy, because you deserve to be happy, with or without that person. When you do this, I bet you will get over him/her.

 

I think I have talked enough, so I will end it here. I know that you are hurting, which I’m sorry for, but it won’t always be like this. IT will get better, I don’t know when, but it will! Find friends to keep you occupied; let them help you piece yourself back together and get ready for the love of your life to come and sweep you up! You will be so happy that you didn’t stay with the one that got away. So space yourself, realize you won’t be alone forever, know it happens for a reason, and finally, be freaking happy. You will make it! I have faith in you!

Also check out my blog on First love vs true love!

        This was one of my favorite blogs to write. I put my whole heart into this post, and now I am continuing it. I have a lot of thoughts that I need to get out so I will be making a follow-up post. That post will be asking the question “Did I wait long enough?” I can’t wait to share with you guys! But until then, enjoy the first part!

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First love vs. True love
        The moment you lay eyes on this person, you will feel something that no other boy/girl has ever made you feel. You will feel something inside not only your gut but also inside of your heart. It will feel warm yet cold. Being nervous is only one of the many things that being in love for the first time will bring you. As you dive deeper into this wonderful feeling. You will feel security, hopefulness, happiness, love, chills, and a clear mind.

       As you fall into love with the special person, you will begin to change for the better. You will realize that you are challenging yourself more, and hating yourself a lot less. You will begin to set goals that before you didn’t know you wanted to achieve. The awesome part is that this person will be by your side the whole time. They will push you to become the person that you want to become, and you will do the same thing for them. When you fall in love for the first time, everything in the world will slowly becomes about this special person. You will pick up new likes and dislikes as you begin to see his/hers. Their needs will become your needs. You will do anything to make sure that both of your needs/wants are met.

        Sadly, first loves don’t always pan out to the wedding day, but that is fine. You will take something from the time that you had with them. You will know what you want in a relationship, and you will set out to find someone just like that person, this person will be called “The True love.” This is the person that you will love for the rest of your life. They will make you feel like the first love, but a lot happier. As the first love, they will also push you to go farther in your dreams and passions. You will feel more open with them than you have ever been, especially after the heartbreak you experienced with the first love, they will repair your walls and teach you that its safe to love again. You will be happy again, yet deep inside you will still think about your first love.
        
         I was thinking the other night “What if my first love came back into my life?” I wasn’t the lucky one to be able to stay friends with my first love. Her family had a big part in that decision, and since I wanted the best for her, I let her go. It hurt more than anything that I have ever experienced in my life to let her go. But time healed my broken heart and I finally got married to the love of my life.

        I still think about my first love and that’s okay, I gave her a part of my heart. To think I won’t think of her is insane. I want to know she is safe, but then the other night I began to question myself. “what would I do if she wasn’t okay?” I have a wife to care for, I can’t leave and help her. But then again, she was my first love. I would do anything to help her, that is what I promised her. 

         This question is almost like asking “Would I let my wife or my child die, if there were complications in delivery.” But then as I began to type this post, I started to think. If True love is stronger than first love, then I would be able to confidently make the decision to help her. My love for my wife is stronger than the love I ever had with my first love, and it always will be, nothing in the world could separate us. My first love will always have a spot in my heart, but that’s all. Anything more than a thought is simply impossible.

         So if you are dealing with someone that came back into your life and you are wondering what you should do, remember the feeling that you had when you met your first love, and now think of the feeling you had with your true love. Which ever one is stronger indicates your true love.  

Impromtdude

As I said the other day, my first ever post was deleted, but I want to share the post with you. This is the first post that started everything 🙂 give some love :3

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In the last few Blogs you have learned that for me love hasn’t been easy lately, well I believe that the tides have finally turned. For the first time in forever I went three days without even thinking about the girl, it’s a great feeling not to be upset over a girl. Now I don’t know how long this will last, because it usually is like this until we talk then it goes down hill. I believe Jesus is going to keep it like this, and I pray he will.

Last night I stayed up until two in the morning talking to this girl. Oh my gosh this girl is amazing; she is one of my closest friends. She has been here for me every step of the way. She is the type of friend that will stay up all night if you are having a bad night to make sure you don’t go to bed upset. The thing I like the most about her the most is she’s an amazing Christian girl that has an amazing future in front of her.

Lets take a short trip into the past so you can know just how we met, she was standing right next to my sister when I came out of a service. When I first saw her it wasn’t like a I love you feeling, but I surely found myself crushing on this girl. I didn’t want to ask for her number since she had no idea who I was. When I got back home; I had a request from a girl…yeah that’s right a girl added me (its not completely impossible=p), I noticed this girl from somewhere? Then I realized it was her, the girl I met at the service. We went on to talk more on Facebook, but finally I asked for her number as if I were some pro XD. She simply said yes, and we began to talk more and more. We will spend all day talking; we never run out of things to say. Last night I told her my life story, of how my mom abused me, to how I was treated in school, she gave me comfort through all of this; She is so amazing=]

I spent this time writing this blog just to show you guys that there are really amazing true friends out there that will show you that you will never be alone in your hardest time=] Jesus loves you=] see you next week=D

Impromtdude

First love vs. True love
        The moment you lay eyes on this person, you will feel something that no other boy/girl has ever made you feel. You will feel something inside not only your gut but also inside of your heart. It will feel warm yet cold. Being nervous is only one of the many things that being in love for the first time will bring you. As you dive deeper into this wonderful feeling. You will feel security, hopefulness, happiness, love, chills, and a clear mind.

       As you fall into love with the special person, you will begin to change for the better. You will realize that you are challenging yourself more, and hating yourself a lot less. You will begin to set goals that before you didn’t know you wanted to achieve. The awesome part is that this person will be by your side the whole time. They will push you to become the person that you want to become, and you will do the same thing for them. When you fall in love for the first time, everything in the world will slowly becomes about this special person. You will pick up new likes and dislikes as you begin to see his/hers. Their needs will become your needs. You will do anything to make sure that both of your needs/wants are met.

        Sadly, first loves don’t always pan out to the wedding day, but that is fine. You will take something from the time that you had with them. You will know what you want in a relationship, and you will set out to find someone just like that person, this person will be called “The True love.” This is the person that you will love for the rest of your life. They will make you feel like the first love, but a lot happier. As the first love, they will also push you to go farther in your dreams and passions. You will feel more open with them than you have ever been, especially after the heartbreak you experienced with the first love, they will repair your walls and teach you that its safe to love again. You will be happy again, yet deep inside you will still think about your first love.
        
         I was thinking the other night “What if my first love came back into my life?” I wasn’t the lucky one to be able to stay friends with my first love. Her family had a big part in that decision, and since I wanted the best for her, I let her go. It hurt more than anything that I have ever experienced in my life to let her go. But time healed my broken heart and I finally got married to the love of my life.

        I still think about my first love and that’s okay, I gave her a part of my heart. To think I won’t think of her is insane. I want to know she is safe, but then the other night I began to question myself. “what would I do if she wasn’t okay?” I have a wife to care for, I can’t leave and help her. But then again, she was my first love. I would do anything to help her, that is what I promised her. 

         This question is almost like asking “Would I let my wife or my child die, if there were complications in delivery.” But then as I began to type this post, I started to think. If True love is stronger than first love, then I would be able to confidently make the decision to help her. My love for my wife is stronger than the love I ever had with my first love, and it always will be, nothing in the world could separate us. My first love will always have a spot in my heart, but that’s all. Anything more than a thought is simply impossible.

         So if you are dealing with someone that came back into your life and you are wondering what you should do, remember the feeling that you had when you met your first love, and now think of the feeling you had with your true love. Which ever one is stronger indicates your true love.  

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