Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness’

Merry Christmas, you dirty rascals!

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I don’t know if you guys have snow, but I know we don’t. It hasn’t felt like the holiday season without, but I will make this a joyful time still. Santa will still come and give me the best presents, and I will share with you as much as I can, even if I don’t want to. Santa will still crawl down my chimney, even if I don’t have one, he will make one and will come down it. He will for some reason not rob me and will leave me some awesome presents, which I will open and enjoy for the whole month that it’s still new.

Tomorrow is actually Christmas, but I don’t want to be on the computer during Christmas, as that would be rude… This is why WordPress allows you to schedule posts, so you don’t miss a beat in your life, while also sharing every memory with those you may never meet in real life. My Randoms, this feature is for you. You get to read this awesome post, all while you open presents and share heart filling memories with your own loved ones. I am making this post to wish you a merry Christmas and happy holidays.

I pray that you take this season to reconnect with those you may only see once a year. I pray that you get what you need and enjoy everything people get you. I pray for safe travels, if you are driving to see family. I pray that you get receipts from Aunt Mary, because who truly needs three blenders, like seriously, Mary, get it together! I clearly sent you my wish list on Amazon. I pray for healing in broken families and restoration with all relationships that can be saved.

If this is your first Christmas since the passing of a loved one, I pray for the peace of the Lord to come and blanket you. I am truly sorry for your loss! I don’t know what it feels like, but I know it isn’t easy. I hope that you still have a good time with those whom love you, also know that that love one is looking from heaven as you open that present. They are happy that you are making it through the pain, so keep kicking pains Arse. It has to be hard, but God gives people to us to help us through things, so if you are in this situation, look for those who can help you, cling to them and never let go.

If you are in a broken family, full of drama and strife, I pray for restoration. I pray restoration flows into those walls and God brings back together those relationships that aren’t toxic, and begins to change those who are toxic. God wants us to be united, so do what you can to bring peace into your family this Christmas. If you have tried and it doesn’t work, forgive them and move in your own destiny. Don’t give power to these people. Every time you get mad at them, you give them power over you, so stop and forgive them. You don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to do anything with them, but at least forgive them so you can live your best life.

You guys are so strong. You are awesome and are truly presents to me. I am glad to have you guys and I pray that 2019 brings newness to this blog and it brings us all closer. 2019 is going to be a busy year, as I keep telling Ariel, so get on the train and take one hell of a ride. With God in the center, I can only imagine what all we can do!

I hope that you have a great Christmas. I hope you get what you want and more, but also that you find happiness in giving. I challenge you to do one great thing, then come here and tell us what you did. This can range from paying for someone’s coffee, or maybe you talk to a family member that you don’t like to talk to. Anything that shows love, do and tell!!!! I love you, guys!

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In the last ten years, I have held a lot of resentment and anger towards one person. She is no longer in my life, but somehow I still allow her to cause me pain and also allow her to ruin good days. I tried to take back the control by hiding behind humor, but I found out in order to get back that control, I must first forgive her, that is the only way to move on with my life and get away from the past, also the only way to be truly forgiven by God.

This time of the year has always been a little difficult for me, as this was the month that my mother walked away from her kids. She did this in 2004. She gave us our Christmas presents, at the courthouse, and then simply walked away. I haven’t physically seen my mom since, though I have talked to her on the internet, about a year ago. I don’t want to discredit her as a mom, but she has also never been a good parent. She left my sister and me in foster care and went on with her life. She says she tried to fight for us, but I question how hard she fought. Since that day, I have always blamed her for the pain that I feel inside. I try to keep off this subject as some might see it as me trying to get attention, and when I bottle it inside, I feel so much worse. Children are meant to have both parent parts, a job that my dad did amazing at fulfilling, but it still isn’t the same without having that figure in your life. But today marks the end of this. Being upset and hurt won’t do anything; she isn’t coming back, so I must move on. I must forgive her and stop tearing her down any chance I get.

The bible tells us that we must forgive to be forgiven. I really don’t want to be the reason that God isn’t blessing me, all because I can’t forgive a woman. She made a huge mistake, but I can’t judge her. Just like I can’t go into a courtroom and tell the judge how to handle a case. I simply can only forgive her for the wrong she has done and pray that she has gotten the help that she needs. With the strength from God, I want to forgive her publicly, through this blog.

“Dear, mom

Thank you for raising the strongest man that you could have. I am doing great, now. I have a lot going for me, including a job that pays decent, a wife that loves me unconditionally, and faith that could move mountains. I am strong in my faith, so I must now forgive you for the pain that you inflicted on my life. I know that you don’t want to admit that you messed up, as blaming father is much easier to do, but know that I no longer hold that over your head. We all make mistakes, some are worse than others, but they are all mistakes. I have made my fair share of mistakes, so I can’t judge you for yours. I just hope that you are getting the help that you need. I find my security in Jesus. Being in Church helped you care more, so I pray that you find your way back into the chapel. Mom, I sincerely love you. I pray nothing but the best in your life and I hope that you are building a life for yourself. You started life young, being pregnant in high school must have been scary, but you somehow found ground to build on, something most couldn’t do. You met dad, made a family with him. Without you and dad, I wouldn’t be here, so I thank you for that. I thank you for showing me the basic skills for life, as much as you did in the few years we had together, without those teachings, I don’t know how strong I would be. Dad is doing a great job, and has for years; he gave me wisdom and a heart of gold. You need to forgive him and move on, as I must do the same. I want to be a youth pastor, but I don’t want God to stop my blessing because of the anger I have towards you, so I simply must forgive you. God said “If you don’t forgive others for their sins, your heavenly father won’t forgive you.” Mom, I want to see you in heaven, so please get right with God. I have found a way to last without you in this life, but I would be crushed if I got to heaven and didn’t see you there. A lot has happened, but I still love you. I always will. Just do as Romans 10:9-10 says and get right with God. If you need anything, message me, I can walk you through it. Know that I can’t hold on to the pain, anymore. But forever, I will be praying for you!! I love you, and I forgive you.

Blake!”

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