Posts Tagged ‘feelings’

 

man sitting on edge facing sunset

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When I was in 6th grade, I wrote my first real story. It was a horror story and I was so proud of it, though I can’t remember what it was about. But I was proud! I proud enough to walk over to my teacher and told her that I was going to be a writer, one day. She read it and raised one of her eyebrows. She told me that it was a good start and that I was very creative. This was the beginning of something special. She told me that it was full of run-ons, but that it could be turned into a master piece; and that no matter what I do, to chase my dreams. This is what started this crazy journey. I knew at that moment, that I wanted to be a writer, and I would do anything (in my power) to become one.

I never had anyone put me down for my writing. I remember when I was in 4th grade, we were supposed to write a story, but I couldn’t because my mother didn’t have a stable home for me to write in. I didn’t do the assignment, but the teacher wanted me to read it to the class. She wanted me to read it in front of a class, a story I never wrote! So what was I supposed to do, tell her I didn’t do the assignment? Heck no! I got up, walked to the front of the class and read my story about a vicious bear, tearing through a town of innocent families. I read for 10 minutes, flipping through the pages, until I finished. After the reading, she asked for the pages, I nervously handed them over and went back to my seat. She went on with the class, asking the next student to come forward and share. The bell rang 30 minutes later; I got up and walked to the door to go to lunch. But as I got to the front of the room, my teacher called my name. My chest was burning as I turned around. “Yes, mam?” She was holding my story up, revealing the empty pages. I began to shake, knowing that I failed the assignment. She told me that I should have been honest, but that I had a huge imagination, one that could make a good career one day. She gave me an A on the assignment for the creativity, since she couldn’t tell that I was reading an empty page.

Jump ahead to my senior year of high school. I have multiple WIPs; I have a solid blog and I’m getting more confident with my talents. A guy comments on my blog, telling me that I need to keep writing. I didn’t know that people could read my blog. I didn’t share it anywhere, so it through me off when I got such love. It felt great!  I also had a teacher behind me, pushing me to use my gifts, knowing I could be something.

Now I am a writer. I write daily. I have my days where I don’t want to write, or weeks where I feel I’m not a good enough writer, but I just remember the encouragement, from my past, and I get back to work, creating more content for you guys, knowing that the people in my past would be happy with where I am now! I never stopped following my dream to become a writer, so why would you give up on your dreams?

Stop telling yourself that you aren’t good enough. Stop grabbing your dream then letting it go because you think you don’t have enough grip on it. One day you will wake up and it will be too late to grab it, so grab it now! Don’t be worried about the outcome, but instead, make the outcome! Don’t stop chasing your dream because your legs are tired. Push through the hard times and grab that dang want. You want the dream to come true, don’t you? It’s all within your chest! You are the creator, so create the ending that you want. If you want to be a doctor, then become a doctor. You are the only one that is standing in your way. You can do this. I know you can.

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I wanted to do a remembrance post, tonight. Something told me to share something that has already been talked about, yet might have been passed up. I went back and tried to find the best post, which led me to this one. This was the day that I almost quit my job, but I ultimately decided to stay strong. This is a great thing, because since I was strong, now I get to step into the next big role; becoming a GM. I want to share this to tell you that you might hate where you are but to not give up. If you feel like you can’t do it anymore then that’s your choice, but don’t let someone else define your happiness!!! 


Remembering; 

I feel bad to announce that I am behind in my schedule today and since I haven’t had the time to write-up in my schedule, I will need to step back tonight and post something short. This blog will be about my day and why I didn’t have a good day!
My day started a little after 5 a.m. as any other day in the life of Blake. I had to open my store, which use to be so fun for me. Recently I have begun to hate each aspect of my job, opening being the second thing on that list with running the store being the first. Closing which use to be my least favorite, has become my most bearable thing to do at my job, though I still hate the job.
But something happened today that usually doesn’t, I enjoyed opening the store. I got to the store on time for the first time in a while, and got all of my work done twenty minutes later. But when my General Manager soon ruined that.
He got to work two hours after me, and instantly got on my nerves. See he has this personality that nothing is ever wrong in the world. This is not a problem though, the problem is that he has to be up in your face about it. If any of you know the true me, you know I hate people getting up in my face which he seems to do every time we work together. Today was no different.
He started off the day in my face about truck being early, which should of been a good thing but to him it wasn’t at all. He complained about it for a few minutes then griped as I put the truck away. Then came the fun part. His favorite employee came in. He tells this employee how amazing he is for doing nothing, where I do everything and don’t even get a pat-on-the-back. Today (as previously said) was no different.
He gloated about this man for two hours, until I sent the man back to do some dishes. He then got back into my face about something stupid, trying to get me to talk to him. I talked a little, but wanted to focus on my job. At this point you probably wonder why my day was actually bad. It doesn’t seem like anything that should have effected me that much, that’s because that something hadn’t happened until I was off.
My boss wanted to give me my bi-yearly review on my performance. He sat me down and in moments set my anger off. He ranked me a 2 out of a 4, which is not good. I have to disagree! I feel I work my ass off to get my job done, and still get no respect. At the beginning of this year, I worked 120 hours every two weeks for two months. Working so much nearly killed me. Then came the part of the review that nearly made me punch him. He told me that I sucked at customer service, which is funny because in the 2 1/2 years I have worked there, I have had some of the best reviews and never have had a complaint. So if that is suckish, then I would be pleased to be good one day. Today was a bad day for me. But it wont get me down, I will be tough and get over it. I will take each giant down at a time, proving to only my wife and myself that I am truly amazing!

If I can be serious…

    There has been a lot of confusion in my life, lately. I am lost in my own dreams, and I don’t know what to do to get back. I haven’t been myself lately, many probably can tell. I don’t want to write as I use to. I don’t want to write, at all. I don’t have my heart in any of my recent post, also I can’t keep motivated to finish any of my blogs. I am tired of always trying to come up with great ideas, but also I am tired. I am tired of trying to explain myself, and making myself feel like I have a reason to feel the way I do. I don’t want to explain myself, but I feel like I need to. I know that you guys are there for me, but at the same time, who are you to be there for me. It isnt your job to hold my hand, during my troubles. I do appreciate it, but I know you don’t have to. But let me try to explain myself to you guys, and then I will end this blog.

     This journey is hard, it is an uphill battle. Writing was something that use to be a pure hobby for me, but somewhere in the middle, I made it my passion, not knowing what that was going to bring. I didn’t know that stress would come along with chasing a dream. But the stress is real, and it is something that I deal with every night of my life. Along with my work, I come home and want to give you guys my best. Some nights I find that it is super easy to write to you guys, but nights like last night come up, and writing is something that I don’t want to do, but I want to keep this streak going. I promised my friends and fans that I would post, everyday, and that is something that I don’t want to stop anytime soon. But with work being exxtra stressful, I have been super tired, every night, and since I don’t prewrite blogs anymore,  I find myself writing the post at 8pm, when it needed to be done by 7:30, so I rush, and when I rush,  I find that my blog isnt up to par; but in order to meet the deadline, I have to settle, then I stay up late, worrying that you guys are going to hate me. The next day is worse, because the stats are in.

When the numbers are up, I am happy, but when the stats are low, I start to get down on myself. Recently, the numbers have been steadily growing, causing much happiness. But that also is the worse part. I hate that when I am unable to put my heart into my work, that is when everyone wants to come to my blog. It sickens me, because that is the first impression that people get, and it isn’t a good one. It is like some girl, that you like, seeing you naked in the freezing cold. You know that you carry the pistol, but the winter breeze has caused it to turn into a shaggy bullet. Though that analogy was horrible, I hope you get the idea. I haven’t been producing the best material, so how can I expect anyone to get behind me? I surely wouldn’t want to, not after that horrible “Flash back to the past” post. I didn’t even know what I was saying during that post, but I know that it wasn’t suppose to go up that quick. That was a post that I was going to work on, then post it later this week, but I didn’t want to write, so I posted that piece of trash. I am sorry that you had to read that….

So, now you know that I have been having a horrible time, recently. But the worse part is what I have been promising. (Be prepared to hate me.) There is this great man. I know him from a prayer night, that we both attended, in the past. He is a great artist, and recently just signed a record deal. But before the flowers bloomed in his garden, this tiller came to me. He asked me to help water his ground, by promoting his work around town. I gave him a promise to get the interview ready, which I did, but after receiving the email, I told him that I would have the post up in three days. That was a week ago, and I still haven’t finished the post. I feel like complete shit, from the fact that I haven’t done anything with this post. I am usually really great with getting things done, and finishing them in a timely fashion. So, Kastle Li, if you are reading this. I am truly sorry. I shouldn’t keep you waiting, but I give you my word, that I am trying to get these things under control, and that I will have your post done, very soon. I am working on it, I just lost sight of myself. I know your not mad, but I am. I am very mad at myself.

I didn’t know that this would be the case. I didn’t know that my dream would become so stressful. I thought that all I needed was my great ability, but it is much more. It takes the patience’s of a saint, the heart of gold, and the will of God. I still have a huge road to drive down, in order to get where I need to be. But that’s the best part. The dream wouldn’t be worth living if it was easy. I would love to hear from you, tell me what I should write about!

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                        Real fast:

I want to thank someone very special to me. She has been a great fan, since she started following my blog. Her name is Angelica, and she is the sweetest fan, ever. Every time I post something, she is liking it, and commenting nice words. She is a great person, and I want to give her a quick shoutout. I love you, Angelica.  I hope you enjoy the future at Impromtstudios! Also, thanks to everyone else that likes my post, you guys are amazing. I hope to connect with you guys more, in the future!!!!!!! Thanks for your time!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Todays post isn’t for everyone, todays post is me ranting about something that annoys me very much! This week, I wanted to set the theme as “Annoyance” because I wanted to tell you guys about something that annoys me, very much. You have to be a special person to annoy me, almost a new special type of stupid, to annoy me. And even though, people that act all thug are annoying, there is something that annoys me even more. That being friends that aren’t fans.

I understand that not everyone is going to like my work. Some people are going to think my work is “weak” or “lacking artist ability” some will even think that my grammar is bad, but that is okay, my blog isn’t for everyone. I would have to post thirty-five times a day, about different topics, in order to just please ten of those people. I am not here to do that, I am here to write to those who will listen, it is impossible to please everyone, and not worth the stress. But what annoys me is that the same people that were spotlighted on Impromtdude, or past projects, wont even share my post, even though I shared their stuff.

I am a very cool guy, if I can help in anyway, I will. But why should I help you, if you wont repay me with the same kindness. I am tired of working my butt of for people that don’t give me the credit for anything. I worked with a lot of artist in the past, and none of them shared my work after they got what they needed. It almost makes me want to stop being nice, and charge for my services, but I cant come to do it. I want the same respect that I give, to be given back though. It is unfair for me to do all the work, then to have the same people explode, and then leave me behind. Not that I am the reason, they got big, but at the same time, was i? Was it my 30 hours on one post, that got you to where you are? I don’t know, it just annoys me.

I don’t want people to think, I am being a whiner, but I want to also be respected. I want to have my projects looked at, as I had everyone look at theirs. It’s like in school, when you are in a group, you do all the work, and they get the A’s. That’s what it feels like, every time I promote, and they don’t share my work. Or you support your friends in their dream, yet they can’t give a simple like to yours? I hate to rant, but this had to be said.

Thank you to all the real fans, you are the reason I’m still here. If I was looking for the support of the fakes, then I would be gone by now, but I got you, so nothing will stop me. You guys are my wall, my bridge, you get me over anything I am dealing with, and show me that its worth the pain of rejection! Much love XoXo- Impromtdude

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

If I ever went blind, my life would fall apart in moments. I would start to freak out and probably would run out in front of a car, that is the sad truth, same as if I lost an arm or even a finger. I like my body the way that it is, but what about those who dont have the luxury that I do? How do they cope with not being whole, do they freak out like I would? Do they wake up in the middle of the night crying their eyes out, wishing that they had what other have? Do you ever sit in a chair and wonder these questions?
I feel bad for those people that are in need of help, but can’t get it. Wether the reason being that they cant afford the treatment, or maybe they are to far into their illiness to get help. I wish that I could help them recover from the horrible circumstance that they have falling into, it hurts my heart when I see someone hurting, knowing they can’t get the operation.
I know recent I have been feeling a little different in my body. My eye sight isn’t what it use to be, I feel I need glasses , but at the same time I have read some articles. These articles where from some eye doctor in California, and they were talking about torn retina’s. I read the symptoms and though I only had one symptom, my brain started to play senarios in my head. “What if you have that?” “You don’t have the money for the operation” “Your going blind.” I had to shut those voices up, they were really tearing me down, so I read into more eye conditions, even talked to a few people, and finally came to the conclusion that I am fine, that I wont be going blind, but the fear was real enough for me. This is what inspired me to write my novel “Drifting Away.”
“Drifting Away” is a novel that revolves around a young couple that would have never imagined that they would have been together. They were young, full of life, not quite ready to slow down. They both had their own futures to pursue, where one was going to New York, the other was going to California. Each one wanted to be an artist, one a writer the other a musician. But when they began to get hot in the summer, they decided to find nutrual ground, give up their scholarships and follow each other. Though their families dissapproved fully, they didn’t care, they wanted each other.
All was fine when they went to Florida to vacation before they started college in the fall. They were having fun, laughing, sharing memories, and getting to know each other better. This was until the night they went night swimming. There was something in the water the night that they didn’t see, the young male hurt his back and was admitted into the hospital. The doctors treated him for the right thing, but things got worse. He began to lose mobility in all of his limbs, and soon began to lose his eyesight, ruining his chances to become a writer if it continued. But she sat there next to him everyday, that was until her family got there and pushed her away. They were convincing her to leave the young lover, saying that she deserved better than what he was going to become. Now she had to decide between two things: Her future or the love of her life. She needed to decide fast, because each moment she waited, he was drifting away.
I am planning on finishing the novel in the next year, and trying to get it published, in which I will donate nearly all proceeds to a charity to help people get operations that they desperatly need. So would you buy?