Posts Tagged ‘College’

I have been thinking back to my college days a lot lately, which is when I decided to come back home to move in a different direction. I was studying pastoral studies in Kansas City, and I couldn’t have been happier, well for the first few months. It didn’t last though, I felt that I was wasting much needed time doing something, I no longer wanted to do. I ran out of the ministry juice, and no longer wanted to study religion. This was after a dream, that woke me up in the middle of the night, and kept me up the whole night. The dream was more a path that I knew I wanted to take, but my fear of failure was outweighing my courage of succeeding.

I wanted to come back home to study locally. This was forced also by not finding a solid job, that wouldn’t keep me from college for a semester. In the dream, I saw myself finishing my first novel, and becoming a world-known writer. I was excited instantly about becoming a professional writer, that the dean-of-students offer wasn’t enough to keep me around. Even though they gave me a semester free, and helped with my rent, I no longer wanted to be there. I left during a Sunday service, and packed up my things. I came back home to Illinois, without telling anyone there. I know it was wrong to do so, with everything they did for me but it was now-or-never, or so I thought.

When I got back to Illinois, I got lazy. I didn’t try to get a job, I didn’t care about the same things as before. I didn’t want to write anymore. I felt like I was wasting my time doing nothing, so I planned to attend another seminary, in order to show those around me, that I didn’t come back to lay around. I never got into the seminary, due to the money issues I was experiencing. But this would change shortly, when I met my wife.

My wife wanted me to follow my true dream, which was to become a writer. She pushed me to go back to college, and get my degree in journalism. But when I showed interest, my job began to want me to pull more hours. With the more hours that I was getting, the less the chance became, that I was able to go to college. This is when I decided that I was going to try becoming published without a degree. This is nearly an impossible task, but where there is a will there is a way. Now that I have started my portfolio, I know the things that need to be done in order to get my name out there. This could lead me to a new location on the map, yes I am talking about moving.

I have started to promote through some amazing items, which I blogged slightly about, last night. But the reality is, sometimes you need to move to become someone in this industry. Springfield might not be the best place for me to try and grow, but at the same time it might be the best place. The question is though; Could I move if it came to it?

The answer is “Yes.” As a writer, I see that my future could cause me to go to another city, state, or country. This is any job, you have to be ready to relocate, and I am. It would be hard, but how could I say that I want to grow but not take the steps that it takes to do so? I can’t, that’s why it is important to ready your heart to do the hardest things in life, no matter the cost.

If you hold back, because of fear, you could miss an opportunity of a lifetime, I will not though.
I have been taking the steps that I need to, and I have seen that it has helped. But time will tell if the steps I have taken will be enough. I pray they are, but no one knows what God has in store, so I give him control, and can only pray that I don’t get in the way!

This was an old post that I thought someone needed to hear! 

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Am I a christian?
I have been doing a series called, Letters to the Chapel, which is a series that walks you guys through my time with Christ. This raises a question; am I a Christian? This is a very serious question, if you know my past. I spent a good part of my life in a pew. Growing up with a pastor for a dad, you were sort of forced into going, even if you were tired from staying up all night. I remember at 10 years old, I was in a rough time in my life, my mom was no longer in the picture, I recently had gotten out of foster care, putting me into the care of my father. When we moved in with my father, he had one rule, that was that we went back to church. I hated the idea of going to church. I didn’t believe that God would allow something, such as abuse, happen to his creation. I had a grudge with God, and I wasn’t about to go to church to solve it!
Even with much fighting, I lost the battle in not going to church. My dad wanted me to go, and that was the end of that argument. Now with much hate, in my heart, I sat in a pew with glazed-over eyes, as I tried to stay awake through the pastors boring speech about loving one and another. The pastor had no sense of humor and a mono voice. I found it very hard to stay awake through the sermon. But with time,  I began to get over that. I actually started enjoying the church, but then my dad wanted to change pace and go to another church.
The transition was very rough on me. I made some great friends at the last church, but that was all over. It was back to fighting my dad, about going to church. I remember purposely taking forever to get ready, hoping that he would say it was okay, and that we wouldn’t go. But that never worked, he always was up my butt about getting ready, and if he saw that I was taking longer than I should, he would call me out about it! The fight was over, I had lost. I had nothing else to do, than go with it. I was going to sit through the sermons, even if I didn’t want to. But as I went to the Sunday meetings, I realized this church was amazing.
It took me over 3-years to get used to getting up early, on Sundays. Once I got use to getting up early, I started to pay more attention in the church, and then I went to a youth ralley, on night. This was the night that I gave my life to Christ! This was an amazing night for me. I was sitting in the back of the building, and all of a sudden, two pastors came after me, and asked me to get prayed over. As they prayed over me, I felt something change on the inside, that night was the beginning of a wild 6 year-ride.
Fast forward six years later. After I got back from seminar, I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted, or what god wanted. I couldn’t find a job in Missouri, forcing me back home to start over from scratch. With nothing going in my way, I started to search out for an answer. That is when my youth pastor introduced me to a college, in Lincoln. This was a pastoral college that lasted one-year, and would give you a degree in pastoral studies. This would give me a great opportunity to grow, as a person and a Christian. But with no money to pay for it, I decided to go against it, and I started to focus on church, alone. But then my life shifted.
Long-story-short, I met my wife. She was the light of my world, but there was a problem. She was having problems with her mom, and got kicked out of her home. She was forced into going to her aunts. She was scared of this house, she felt that someone was always watching her, and one night she felt her covers being removed from her. I told her that I would stay with her, until it all blew over, to give her a sense of security. But word got back to my church, and they weren’t happy. They told me that I couldn’t live this life, and teach their children. Then the pastor asked me if I would allow them to pray. But instead of praying for a good life, they prayed that my girlfriend and I broke up. When they prayed that, I decided to stop going to that church.
Now, I would like to say that I am a Christian, which I am, but I feel like I am a different type of Christian. The church is very corrupt in this day of age, most only want control, when they should focus on the love of Christ. That is why I decided to stop going to church, and focusing on a private relationship, with Christ. This eliminated a lot of my problems, and has allowed me to be more real with God. I wasn’t able to ask the Church certain questions, but now I can ask God those questions! So yes, I am a Christian, but I don’t believe in the church.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

The reason I left college

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School is almost over for most seniors, which leaves them with one big decision, what would they like to do for the rest of their lives? After they figure out that question, they will then search for some colleges, either near or far from their hometown. After the decide where they want to go, they will send in an application to see if they are compatible with that certain school. After the college accepts them into their school, they will possibly move across the world to study their desired trait.
I decided on what I wanted to do when I was at church, one night. The pastor was talking about callings. At this point, I was lost on what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a writer, computer engineer, and pastor, but I didn’t know what was worth the money. I wasn’t good at math, so I knew computer engineering was at the bottom, of the list. I was comfortable with being a writer, but I didn’t know if that was my calling, but then I heard, what I thought was god, and he told me that I should be a pastor. My excitement overtook my body, and I jumped on that plan. At this time, I was also beginning a courtship with a girl, one that was going to this little Christian college, in August. She convinced me to apply at CBC (Central Bible College) and I did. A week later, I got a call while eating out with a few friends. CBC called to inform me that I had been accepted into their school. But a month later, they conjoined with another school, which raised the tuition. They also lost my entry fee. With all this going on, I decided to leave this option on the curb, and go a different way. That is when I found WRSM (World revival school of ministry.)
I didn’t want to go to a seminar, yet I applied. I don’t remember applying, honestly, but I did. I was accepted, and was on my way to Kansas City, Mo in August. The day I left home, I remember getting a mile out of town, then I heard a voice inside saying “NO!” I wasn’t sure what it was, but I marked it down as fear, and kept driving. That voice was warning me about what was about to occur.
I was happy when I got to the new home, my heart was racing, but something didn’t feel right. I figured this was from the change of location, so I fought it. But as the time went on, the feeling got worse. I wasn’t doing well at the time, I couldn’t sleep at nights, I couldn’t find a job, I wasn’t feeling the same about church, I was a mess. Then I met this guy, Craig, and we talked. I told him that I wasn’t feeling the same about this dream, and that I was thinking about leaving, after the semester was over. He wanted me to stay, saying this was a great place to be, especially if I was wanting to pursue Gods will. I felt bad for even questioning if I were suppose to be her not, I didn’t want to question Gods plan, so I decided to stay, still with no job or money.
A month before I left:
The pains of not fitting in are heavy, I haven’t met any close friends, even after being here for six months. When the church service starts, I feel empty inside, its an emptiness that I can’t fill with anything. I don’t know what to do, I don’t feel God anymore. I have prayed and prayed, but nothing is working. I am lost in self-doubt and frustration. I even started to doubt Gods existence at this point. Then there he stood, my youth pastor, at my front door step. He came down to give me a care package, but I needed more. I needed to talk to him, quickly. I needed to open up to someone, so we went out to dinner. I opened up in the middle of a empty Ihop, crying my eyes out from the heartache I had from this school. I was going to church five days a week, yet wasn’t feeling God? I knew there was something not clicking. My youth pastor told me that these were the choices: I come home, or I fight through. He told me that I had to pick the choice, that he couldn’t pick for me. He ensured that he was here for me with whatever I choose.
The answer came to me, about two weeks later. There was a big conference in town for the weekend. I was a part of the chair crew, which is a group that puts up chairs and tears them down, but this was for a church of 1000 and had to be done 2 times a day. With the conference in town, that added to the amount of work we had. During that week, I only got three hours of sleep. I remember someone coming up to me, and asking if I were okay. I smiled and told them I was doing just fine, but they saw through my lie, and asked how much I have been sleeping. With knowing, they knew, I told them the truth. They told me to go home, and get some sleep. But as they walked away, I laughed and went back to work. I would have felt guilty if I would have slacked off, since the school did give me a quarter free. I spent that semester working my butt off, just to pay them back. At the end, I wasn’t happy, though. That is when I decided to come home.
I still didn’t have any solid income. The house parents told me that I needed to get a job, quickly, or they would have to kick me out. So while they were at church, one Sunday, I decided to pack up my car and come back home. I felt a huge burden being lifted off my shoulders as I crossed back over to Illinois, I knew at this point, this was suppose to be my calling. I was called to stay in Illinois, and figure my life out. I wasn’t needed in a new land, but I needed to be somewhere I knew. My calling was to be a writer, something I could do right here in Illinois, for now.  

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Could you move across the world to achieve your dream?

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I have been thinking back to my college days a lot lately, which is when I decided to come back home to move in a different direction. I was studying pastoral studies in Kansas City, and I couldn’t have been happier, well for the first few months. It didn’t last though, I felt that I was wasting much needed time doing something, I no longer wanted to do. I ran out of the ministry juice, and no longer wanted to study religion. This was after a dream, that woke me up in the middle of the night, and kept me up the whole night. The dream was more a path that I knew I wanted to take, but my fear of failure was outweighing my courage of succeeding.

I wanted to come back home to study locally. This was forced also by not finding a solid job, that wouldn’t keep me from college for a semester. In the dream, I saw myself finishing my first novel, and becoming a world-known writer. I was excited instantly about becoming a professional writer, that the dean-of-students offer wasn’t enough to keep me around. Even though they gave me a semester free, and helped with my rent, I no longer wanted to be there. I left during a Sunday service, and packed up my things. I came back home to Illinois, without telling anyone there. I know it was wrong to do so, with everything they did for me but it was now-or-never, or so I thought.

When I got back to Illinois, I got lazy. I didn’t try to get a job, I didn’t care about the same things as before. I didn’t want to write anymore. I felt like I was wasting my time doing nothing, so I planned to attend another seminary, in order to show those around me, that I didn’t come back to lay around. I never got into the seminary, due to the money issues I was experiencing. But this would change shortly, when I met my wife.

My wife wanted me to follow my true dream, which was to become a writer. She pushed me to go back to college, and get my degree in journalism. But when I showed interest, my job began to want me to pull more hours. With the more hours that I was getting, the less the chance became, that I was able to go to college. This is when I decided that I was going to try becoming published without a degree. This is nearly an impossible task, but where there is a will there is a way. Now that I have started my portfolio, I know the things that need to be done in order to get my name out there. This could lead me to a new location on the map, yes I am talking about moving.

I have started to promote through some amazing items, which I blogged slightly about, last night. But the reality is, sometimes you need to move to become someone in this industry. Springfield might not be the best place for me to try and grow, but at the same time it might be the best place. The question is though; Could I move if it came to it?

The answer is “Yes.” As a writer, I see that my future could cause me to go to another city, state, or country. This is any job, you have to be ready to relocate, and I am. It would be hard, but how could I say that I want to grow but not take the steps that it takes to do so? I can’t, that’s why it is important to ready your heart to do the hardest things in life, no matter the cost.

If you hold back, because of fear, you could miss an opportunity of a lifetime, I will not though.
I have been taking the steps that I need to, and I have seen that it has helped. But time will tell if the steps I have taken will be enough. I pray they are, but no one knows what God has in store, so I give him control, and can only pray that I don’t get in the way!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

If I were to give some advice right now, you would be listening to a man that just woke up and probably would get the worse advice ever. Lets take how I feel right now and take it into a classroom, a classroom full of kids that are trying to pick a college to apply for. My only job as John Stewart is to give them the best advice to take to college. But as I said before, I am tired and cranky so here is my advice:

1. Whatever you do in life you will become rich, so go cheap when finding a college.
2. Money will be tight at first, so my advice is to pull out all the student loans that you can.
3. You remember those student loans? They wont even remember you at the end, so go ahead and keep the money.
4. If you don’t want to waste your life, don’t go to college.
5. College is only for those who are really to stay up all night partying. No one studies in college.
6. If you find a girl you like, don’t hesitate to try to get with her, even if she says no.
7. You are going to hate your classes, so skip them, they give you the paperwork anyways.
8. If someone makes you mad, throw acid on their face.
9. If you decide to stay all four years, don’t! Its a waste of time
10. When you graduate, flick off the principal and give him the stone-cold stunner.

If I were to give you this advice would you take it? I know that if my student counselor would of told me these words of advice, I would have down better in college while I attended. But He didn’t and now I am here giving you guys some great whole-hearted advice that will make you excel as you go to college! Party Study on…….no Party on!