Posts Tagged ‘candy’


I love the Christmas season, or holiday season. The way that peoples eyes glitter in the presence of all their gifts and their loved ones warms my heart. The part that I love probably the most is the stockings. Who doesn’t want a sock full of wonderful small gifts?!? I love my stockings. This year I got one with the Letter “B” on it. That is because my name is Blake, well no crap right? Anyways I want to let everyone know what I expect in the stocking this year.

Hot sauce- Who couldn’t use hot sauce. I use hot sauce on everything! Even peanut butter and jelly. I use hot sauce in the shower. You name it and I use it there. But it has gotten expensive for the good stuff.

Any card games- I want you guys to know that I am actually a closet Yu-gi-oh player and recently I sold all of my cards, so I need you guys to buy me more. Pokémon is a option, but magic is not welcomed. I don’t get magic -.V

Surge- Only a few of you know about my crazy addiction to Surge. If you don’t know what Surge is, die! But anyways, I am talking kegs of Surge. If it wont fit, then wrap it! I am not that picky.

Money- I want all the money that you can give. I need it to play monopoly. I hide the good stuff up my sleeve during games in order to get the upper hand on my foes. So give me monopoly money!

Candy- If I don’t get kandy this Christmas this year, I will freaking cry. You really don’t want me to cry. Remember that giant flood back in New Orleans, that was because I didn’t get my candy.

Anything else that you can think of is welcomed, except fruit or veggies. I am not that healthy. So this Christmas I will be waiting!

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Back in my day, I walked up hill, and looked both ways before crossing the road. I didn’t need food, I had dirt. I didn’t need a bike, I had a scooter. I didn’t need air, I had my own breath. I you were only you knew what I went through, I bet you wouldn’t be such a brat. I grew up in a time, where you had a computer that saved things onto a floppy disc. I bet you don’t even know what a floppy disc is, no put that away, that’s not a floppy disc! A floppy disc was the old way to save things. Now you guys have “Flash Drives.” But they don’t flash? What a stupid name. And what is up with these cellular devices. Back in my day, we didn’t have touch-screens. We had big R.V. size phones with antennas. The service was great.

   Today, we all have something that we find “old.” We all have been through something, that the later generation will never be able to experience. I survived the end of the world, I have seen our country fall to her knees. I have seen stores that were famous, close. There is a new iPhone due out in a few months. Sony is working on the next PlayStation. Music is no longer on Cassettes, not like that’s a bummer. MTV is now a home for soap operas. Everything is changing, causing us 90s babies to feel old.

   I will be like the older generation and tell you guys what it was like to be young. So that one day, when I have kids, I can have them read this. The look on their face will be priceless, when they have no idea what a CD is.

   When I was a kid, we didn’t have phones. I remember getting my first phone when I was thirteen. But before phones were all that great, we did something called “play outside.” This is where you go outside and find something to play with. This could mean, playing basketball with friends, playing in mud, or finding your imagination. It meant that you stayed off the video games for a long time, and enjoyed what nature gave you. But you better not go far, because when the sun began to set, dad would be outside. He would give you two chances to come home. Trust me, dads voice is loud enough, so you cant make the excuse, you didn’t hear him. You had to race home, and get cleaned up for dinner. But here is the kick, it isnt fast food. Mom and Dad cooked you a homemade meal, which isnt negotiable, if you don’t like it, you would got to bed hungry. You didn’t want to go to bed, so you throw a tantrum; trust me, that never worked; instead of getting your way, you get your little ass whipped. Then they would shut the door, and let you cry until finally you fell asleep.

   These were the best days of my life. They were so simple and creative. I cant tell you guys how many alien invasions I saved the world from, but I did it all with a stick shaped like a gun. I called the gun “Alien zapper 3000.” This is what I did mainly everyday. I didn’t need Call of Duty to have fun, actually video games were boring compared to the outdoors.

     One day, in the far future, we will realize that we need to go back to the old ways. Those will be the day that kids actually respect adults, again. There will be so much peace! But until that day comes, we will have to deal with rumbustious children screaming throughout Walmart, over a damn candy bar. 

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Bunnymail

Posted: February 2, 2016 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Let the bunny roll
With Easter coming up the Easter Bunny needs to get the emails so he can deliver candy. But he is having trouble coming up with a few emails so he came to us. He wants us to figure out what email fits him the best. This is what he sent:

Thehipsterhare2314@bunnymail.com
Thesecretrabbithole1@bunnymail.com
Rabbitsdelight23@bunnymail.com
Dontshootimtheeasterrabbit@bunnymail.com
Christianrabbit@bunnymail.com
Toothdecayer38@bunnymail.com
Thefakesanta1234@bunnymail.com
Nothingbunnyhere@bunnymail.com

We will cast a vote, and the winner will be sent back to him. We do get free candy for this, so enjoy!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

    

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     There are a few white substances that people love in this world. There is cocaine that leaves you drained and wanting something more. There is powered sugar that leaves you happy at first, but can cause major teeth issues if you eat too much. There is salt that will make your steak taste amazing, yet will leave a bitter taste in your mouth after the steak is gone. But there is one substance that will never fail to bring joy to your heart. The substance might make you want to cuddle with your blanket, or with a love one. This is fine though, because that is what the great thing is about this substance. It can take a broken family, or broken heart and make it whole again. It will take those who hate to be close to others, and make you wish those people would never leave your side. The substance is good to eat also. There is nothing unhealthy about eating this amazing object, actually it is very healthy for you. It might not have the protein like that steak, but can you make a snowman with a steak? The answer (even if you could) is no! You can only make a snowman with Snow. The best white substance that will never leave you dry.
    Snow is my favorite thing about Christmas. There is something about a cold object hitting my eye balls that makes a warm and angry feeling in my heart shoot up to 100%. I can’t tell you how many times I have been walking and have to rub my eyes because of the snow getting into my eyes. But none the less, snow is the ultimate joy found every winter, and guess what? Its coming soon.
In some places, the snow has already found its way to the ground. But for Illinois, we have to wait until at least March. Usually we would have to wait until my birthday to get some snow, but I feel this year (in a few years) we will have our first white Christmas. I would get your snow boots ready, because we aren’t talking about just a little bit of snow either. I am predicting and praying for at least 10 ft. That way we are forced to stay inside with our families instead of going out to shop. This Christmas, I want to see more snow ball fights and less snow in a can.
Snow is cold, and most cant stand that fact. But what fun is it to grab snow in a can and play with that? That is like grabbing a rubber hotdog, putting ketchup on it and taking a bite. In theory its still a hotdog, but in reality its rubber! Snow in a can should be used for only one thing. To fill the trash can. Yes take that fake crap and throw it in that plastic bag, tie that bag up now and throw it in your dumpster. You wont need that this year, but you can go outside and play in the real stuff. Because as I said before the snow is coming. We will have the most beautiful Christmas in Years! Are you ready?

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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Stocking stuffers
I love the Christmas season, or holiday season. The way that peoples eyes glitter in the presence of all their gifts and their loved ones warms my heart. The part that I love probably the most is the stockings. Who doesn’t want a sock full of wonderful small gifts?!? I love my stockings. This year I got one with the Letter “B” on it. That is because my name is Blake, well no crap right? Anyways I want to let everyone know what I expect in the stocking this year.

Hot sauce- Who couldn’t use hot sauce. I use hot sauce on everything! Even peanut butter and jelly. I use hot sauce in the shower. You name it and I use it there. But it has gotten expensive for the good stuff.

Any card games- I want you guys to know that I am actually a closet Yu-gi-oh player and recently I sold all of my cards, so I need you guys to buy me more. Pokémon is a option, but magic is not welcomed. I don’t get magic -.V

Surge- Only a few of you know about my crazy addiction to Surge. If you don’t know what Surge is, die! But anyways, I am talking kegs of Surge. If it wont fit, then wrap it! I am not that picky.

Money- I want all the money that you can give. I need it to play monopoly. I hide the good stuff up my sleeve during games in order to get the upper hand on my foes. So give me monopoly money!

Candy- If I don’t get kandy this Christmas this year, I will freaking cry. You really don’t want me to cry. Remember that giant flood back in New Orleans, that was because I didn’t get my candy.

Anything else that you can think of is welcomed, except fruit or veggies. I am not that healthy. So this Christmas I will be waiting!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude