Posts Tagged ‘Blog’

In the last ten years, I have held a lot of resentment and anger towards one person. She is no longer in my life, but somehow I still allow her to cause me pain and also allow her to ruin good days. I tried to take back the control by hiding behind humor, but I found out in order to get back that control, I must first forgive her, that is the only way to move on with my life and get away from the past, also the only way to be truly forgiven by God.

This time of the year has always been a little difficult for me, as this was the month that my mother walked away from her kids. She did this in 2004. She gave us our Christmas presents, at the courthouse, and then simply walked away. I haven’t physically seen my mom since, though I have talked to her on the internet, about a year ago. I don’t want to discredit her as a mom, but she has also never been a good parent. She left my sister and me in foster care and went on with her life. She says she tried to fight for us, but I question how hard she fought. Since that day, I have always blamed her for the pain that I feel inside. I try to keep off this subject as some might see it as me trying to get attention, and when I bottle it inside, I feel so much worse. Children are meant to have both parent parts, a job that my dad did amazing at fulfilling, but it still isn’t the same without having that figure in your life. But today marks the end of this. Being upset and hurt won’t do anything; she isn’t coming back, so I must move on. I must forgive her and stop tearing her down any chance I get.

The bible tells us that we must forgive to be forgiven. I really don’t want to be the reason that God isn’t blessing me, all because I can’t forgive a woman. She made a huge mistake, but I can’t judge her. Just like I can’t go into a courtroom and tell the judge how to handle a case. I simply can only forgive her for the wrong she has done and pray that she has gotten the help that she needs. With the strength from God, I want to forgive her publicly, through this blog.

“Dear, mom

Thank you for raising the strongest man that you could have. I am doing great, now. I have a lot going for me, including a job that pays decent, a wife that loves me unconditionally, and faith that could move mountains. I am strong in my faith, so I must now forgive you for the pain that you inflicted on my life. I know that you don’t want to admit that you messed up, as blaming father is much easier to do, but know that I no longer hold that over your head. We all make mistakes, some are worse than others, but they are all mistakes. I have made my fair share of mistakes, so I can’t judge you for yours. I just hope that you are getting the help that you need. I find my security in Jesus. Being in Church helped you care more, so I pray that you find your way back into the chapel. Mom, I sincerely love you. I pray nothing but the best in your life and I hope that you are building a life for yourself. You started life young, being pregnant in high school must have been scary, but you somehow found ground to build on, something most couldn’t do. You met dad, made a family with him. Without you and dad, I wouldn’t be here, so I thank you for that. I thank you for showing me the basic skills for life, as much as you did in the few years we had together, without those teachings, I don’t know how strong I would be. Dad is doing a great job, and has for years; he gave me wisdom and a heart of gold. You need to forgive him and move on, as I must do the same. I want to be a youth pastor, but I don’t want God to stop my blessing because of the anger I have towards you, so I simply must forgive you. God said “If you don’t forgive others for their sins, your heavenly father won’t forgive you.” Mom, I want to see you in heaven, so please get right with God. I have found a way to last without you in this life, but I would be crushed if I got to heaven and didn’t see you there. A lot has happened, but I still love you. I always will. Just do as Romans 10:9-10 says and get right with God. If you need anything, message me, I can walk you through it. Know that I can’t hold on to the pain, anymore. But forever, I will be praying for you!! I love you, and I forgive you.

Blake!”

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I am calling all writers, poets, song writers, novelist, bloggers, authors, or just people that love to make a difference. All of you probably know that I was abused as a kid, something that has had an effect on my life for a while, but I was able to get the help to cope. It wasn’t easy, but with the right people, I was able to get over the fear and now I am happy. Help me help kids in similar situations. Do you know someone that is being abuse, or that maybe has? Then you won’t want to miss this event!

Impromtstudios will be hosting the first annual Blog-a-Thon where we will be posting 24 posts in 24 hours as we help raise money to help those who are being abused. I don’t have much information, as of this second, but I would like to reach out to people to help. I know I can’t do this alone, but with your help this can be a success. As details come together, I will post them, here. For now, I want to know how many people would like to blog with me. If you’re interested, then send me an email! Gregbjenkins23@gmail.com

Also, if you are reading this, and you don’t write then please tell me, what would you like us to write about? With 24 posts, I don’t know how many times we can post about tacos, so tell me, what would you like us to cover? You can simply comment with ideas and wants. We will cover anything that you tell us to cover.

I beg you guys to come together, team up with me and help these kiddos. I have a charity that I want to go through, but we will keep that secret for now, since I want to announce all of that soon in a separate blog. Please share this; let’s get as many talented artists together! We can make a difference, let’s not waste our time!

 

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As a writer, I have experienced the lowest of the lows when it comes to motivation. I have tried to fight these feelings, and most of the time, I win but I also lose my share of the fights. It is hard to write when you have clouds in your brain that have formed because of the lack of creative juices.

I have stopped blogging twice because of the lack of ideas, but that isn’t where I am now. I have a lot of ideas, which will be written and posted as the schedule calls for it, but today I will be writing from a prompt, mainly to advertise this awesome book, and also to encourage anyone that is struggling to create to get this awesome book. The book is called “712 more things to write about.” This is a sequel to “642 things to write about” I have done a lot of the first book, so to advertise, I will use the one that I have had but haven’t used. This book is written by The San Francisco Writers Grotto. I will post the link so you can pick up this book. If you don’t use amazon, then try to find it at Target or Barnes and Noble. I found it at target.

I have searched the book and found a good place to start. Today, we will be talking about feeling alive. The prompt was “You feel most alive when you…” I feel this is a good one, since I want to encourage you guys to find happiness. Let’s keep it under 500 words today, that’s the challenge.

I feel most alive when I am in Church. I know that I haven’t always showed that I am a Christian that is because I fell away about 5 years ago. I had a fight with the church, and in result, I left. Church is where I spent most of my life, since my dad is a retired pastor and all, but I didn’t get serious about it until I was 13. This is when I gave my life to Christ, the first time, and where I started to train to be a minister. I went to a seminary and all, too!

I fell away, but the other night, I decided to stop running and run back to the start. I need God more than anything else, so that’s where I want to be. I feel most alive when I’m in church, because that is where life began for me. When I am trying to make it on my own, I feel more depressed and less motivated, but when I know I have God, I feel like I can do anything. I know not everyone is Christians, which doesn’t bother me, but know that you can be as happy as I am, right now. I won’t push you into the church, but I’ll always invite you.

I am happy, and not all of it is because I’m a Christian. I have a good job, awesome friends, a beautiful wife, and a great hobby. I love that I can reach out to you guys, and maybe even encourage one of you. This brings me to this point. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. If it is safe and makes you happy, then you do it! Don’t let someone tell you to stop painting, or tell you that you aren’t good enough. IF it makes you happy, then do it. This world is dark, so if you find light in a certain hobby, then make sure you do that!

How do I get over her?

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How do I get over her?

When I was seventeen, I met the girl that changed my world. She isn’t my wife, now, but she helped me prepare myself for Ariel. I don’t know if this is okay to talk about, but know that my feelings are no longer strong about this girl. She is married now, and I am happy with who I am with. But I think someone needs to hear this and the only way to tell you guys is to bring her back up, so sorry if you guys think its disrespectful to Ariel, but know that I never meant for it to be. Please read this with an open mind, and don’t forget to share it! Someone needs to hear this.

 

I met this girl when I was seventeen. We went to a conference with the same youth group. I didn’t know anything about her, as she didn’t know about me, either. I never went to her church, but my old youth pastor was her youth pastor, at the time. He invited me to go with them, which I was excited to go to find God, but little did I know, I was about to meet someone that would go on to change my life, forever. She said hi first, and I ignored her because I was shy.

 

After the service, I went up to say sorry and she said that she understood, so I introduced myself and we began to talk. This was the start of the best part of my life (up to this point in time, of course not now) we got to know each other better each day, and we never went a day without talking. With every day that went by, I was learning more about life, God, and how to love. I changed my career path and got accepted into the same college that she was going to. We planned to go to the same school so we could be close (in order to help each other get closer to God. As we knew it can be hard to adapt.) We agreed to begin to court once we turned 18, but the more we talked, the feeling began to get stronger. Long story short; she called it off shortly after we got close; saying that her family didn’t think it was a good idea. We went our separate ways. This is what I call the dark days.

 

Losing her took a huge blow to my faith, as I couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that she wasn’t close to me anymore. I could count on my youth pastor, but he was busy with his life, and took a job at the church she attended, so I thought I had to get through this alone. The more that I fought to get over her; the more I felt the waves crashing into me. I drowned in my faith and became depressed. This led me to staring at walls for hours, not praying as much, and questioning if God was real. It got so bad that my pastors pulled me into the side room and questioned if I was okay. Kids in school asked me if I was okay; literally one day I was shining, the next I was dark and emotional. I never thought I could get over her, but I did.

 

You probably have gone through this, or are going through this now, and you may be asking how I did it? How did I get over her? It took a long time, but by doing four things, I was able to get over her, finally; realizing it was for the best, knowing that someone was out there for me, giving space and being happy for her. Let’s see what I mean;

 

  1. Realizing it was for the best.

This meant that I had to agree that I wasn’t the best option for her, and she wasn’t the best option for me. This can be hard when you first break up or break a courtship off, because the feelings are still fresh, but over time you will see that it is for the best. She was what I wanted, but not what I needed. She had different dreams; ones that I didn’t want. She wanted to see the eastern part of the world, where I was more into spreading the word to locals. This being said, our lives were never going to match up, which is good to know that neither of us are held back now, because she married in the east and I married in the local part of Illinois. What I am saying is there was a reason that it didn’t work out, you may not know right now, but one day you will know and you will smile, knowing that you were able to set her/him free and were able to do your own thing, without anything holding you down or back.

 

  1. Knowing someone was out there for me.

I have always wanted to find the perfect girl, fall in love, get married and eventually have kids. When she left, I thought all of that was over, but shortly after her leaving, I talked to someone and they said to have faith someone is out there. I didn’t want to believe it, because I didn’t want to believe that anyone could be better than her. Now that I look back on that conversation, he was right. It was scary to think that I would never meet someone, but the truth is; she was out there! She was waiting patiently for me. Know that when you close one door, another door will be opened for you. IT may hurt to go through, but the pain will be healed once you walk through that door; because your first love never amounts to your true love.

 

  1. Giving her the space she needs, also the space I need!

I had respect for this girl, so I never wanted to step over boundaries. I wanted to give her the space that she needed, wanted.  I knew that I couldn’t get over her if I was seeing her weekly, so I didn’t involve myself in events that I knew she would be at, or at least events that I knew we would have to talk a lot. When I graduated, I gave her the space by going to another college, letting her go to CBC without me. I attended a different seminary, hoping that moving would take away the pain, and it worked. I attended World Revival School of Ministry in Kansas City, Missouri. This school was all about finding a new level to your relationship with God. I never had time to think of her, and I was maturing as a person.

 

When I came back home, I was able to talk to her with no pain, at all. We were able to talk as friends, sharing our passions without thinking about the future together. It was nice, because in the end, she was still a great friend.   It is important to get yourself the room to cope with the heart break. This was the hardest part. I know it’s hard to watch someone you love move on, but you have to know that trying to force yourself into their arms will never work. Give them space, take your space and one day you could be friends (or in a special case, it could have been the wrong time for the relationship, and you could eventually fall in love, again.) I would rather have that person in my life as a friend, than not having that person in my life at all. It worked for me; I bet it can work for you, too!

 

  1. Be happy for the person!

Okay, so now we know that we have to realize better things are out there, that you won’t be alone forever, and that you have to give them space, but what should be the last thing? What will help? BE happy! Be happy for the person, be happy for your own growth; be happy that you can be friends; be happy that you didn’t have to live with the regret, be happy that you were giving the chance in the first place.

 

BE HAPPY!  So it didn’t work out! That doesn’t mean that it has to be all bad. You were able to spend that time with them, you were able to learn from this situation, and you were giving a second chance to find that somebody that will probably be better than the other one, anyway.  I am personally happy that she was able to find someone, get married and was able to change his world. I am happy that I was able to find Ariel, fall in love, get married, and start a small family one day. I am also happy that I was able to learn everything from my first love. But somethings just don’t work out, I am happy that I could live it, though. I know it hurts, but don’t let it get you down, forever.

 

Move on, and find a way to be happy. Surround yourself with friends during the dark days, and never be afraid to ask for help. I was stupid to think I had to do it all alone. You are never alone, so don’t try to do it alone. In all of this, find something to make you happy, because you deserve to be happy, with or without that person. When you do this, I bet you will get over him/her.

 

I think I have talked enough, so I will end it here. I know that you are hurting, which I’m sorry for, but it won’t always be like this. IT will get better, I don’t know when, but it will! Find friends to keep you occupied; let them help you piece yourself back together and get ready for the love of your life to come and sweep you up! You will be so happy that you didn’t stay with the one that got away. So space yourself, realize you won’t be alone forever, know it happens for a reason, and finally, be freaking happy. You will make it! I have faith in you!

Also check out my blog on First love vs true love!

Exactly how I feel…

Posted: January 30, 2017 in Uncategorized
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This was a status from 2014.This is what I’m fighting with. I know how to escape this prison. I have won this battle before. It is just sad to see that this happens every year. What would you do? 

​I have never had this bad of writers block. Usually Ill have it for a few days maybe a week then it leaves, but this time it has lasted for almost a dang year. I feel like just putting up my pen and calling it in. I still have passion to write, just everything I write sounds dumb and stale (as a video stated earlier) I wish I had another option but I can barely form a sentence when writing without wanting to “Save” the file and move on with my life. Why is this happening to me. 
So here comes the farewell to writing. 

(This was just a status. I don’t plan on quiting anytime soon.) 

Why don’t I use my new tablet?
It has been three weeks since Christmas. On Christmas I received the best gift, ever. I was giving a gift, from my wife, that I couldn’t love anymore than I already do. The biggest problem is I haven’t used it. The tablet has sat in my desk since that first day, without being used by anyone; I haven’t even powered it on. The one question I must answer is “Why?”

To answer this question, we must first take a look into my brain. I am the type of man that has to allow things to get dusty before I use them. I am being serious. I still have a pair of shoes that I haven’t even tried on. The shoes are so sexy. They are blue Pumas that I have always wanted. But since I have already have shoes, I chose to leave these shoes alone, for now.

I think its because I never had new things growing up. Yes, I was giving things from my dad but what I mean is that I wasn’t showered with gifts.  I was giving enough to be happy, which is great but, I wasn’t like others that got everything that they want, so its different when I get new things. I cherish the new things that I get. I love this thing about me, I wouldn’t change anything. But it also gets crazy when I let good things sit off to the side while I watch it get dusty.

Now back to the tablet. I love the tablet, I just happen to love this one, also. I guess it’s because of all the work that is on this device. There is something special about this tablet. It was my first big gift from Ariel, maybe that’s why. But the most reasonable answer is because this still has life. This tablet will be used until it dies, then (and only then) will this device be buried. With this being said, I think I am going to start using the other tablet soon. I think the other tablet is going to compliment my writing, since it actually has a backspace button! I don’t know though. I guess we will have to see.

Anyway, thank you guys for reading. I greatly appreciate you. I don’t know why I wanted to tell you guys this, but I feel better now. Sometimes, you just have to express dumber feelings to feel better. This is why I am glad that I wrote this…Have a good night!

What is something weird that you do?

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Whoo buddy! 2017 is finally here.

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It is no longer 2016. We have turned the page and we are now looking towards the future. I’m glad to say that 2016 doesn’t have a tie on me anymore, because that year sucked. But, with faith, I believe 2017 will be the year for some amazing breakthroughs as addition to all the other amazing things that will happen. To make this year great, I want to actually make some resolutions. Resolutions for myself have never worked out. I always lose the paper and forget what I set myself out to do during the 365 days! This year, I am taking precaution and telling you guys. Feel free to keep me accountable to my goals, because I know it will be tough to complete all of these things. Lets get started.

10. Get the hell out of dodge. We (Ariel and I) are tired of this place. We have dealt with some nasty things in this house and I am done. Our landlord doesn’t want to take our complaints serious, even though there is mold in the walls, so we will show her. We will leave this place and finally buy our own house. I have been so stubborn with making that decision, but with the car accident happening, I don’t want to have to learn another “lesson” so it’s time to leave.

9. Cut Soda will be the hardest thing, ever. I love to drink MTN Dew and other various carbonated drinks, but honestly; that stuff is poison to your body. This is why I have made the decision to make tonight my last night with soda.

8. Eat healthier and taking care of my body more is just as important. I have falling off the deep-end and I don’t know how to swim. I really hate how I feel, so why not make the change? This comes with a better lifestyle. If I want to be fit then I will have to eat like a fit person.

7. Getting glasses. I know that I have needed glasses and I am going to do something about that now! I am going to a doctors office and I will be getting glasses. Life is about cherishing the small moments, but how can I cherish them if I can’t see them? I might be scared, but I need it done!

6. Surrounding myself with people that love me. My whole life I have been the man on the outside. It was a nice place to be because then it was harder to get hurt, but that life is sucky, also. This year, I want to spend time getting to know people, going out with people more, and embracing those who love me. Happiness is found in those who love you, its time to let those people in.

5. Read and write more is important. I have a thousand books, but I never read them. Stephen King says “A good writer is a good reader.” I can’t become the best writer if I refuse to read. Also, I need to  write more on my two novels. I keep saying I want to write a novel, yet I have two in the process. It is time to stop being lazy and get them written.

4. Be happier at work. I am a Debby downer when I am at work. One small thing happens and it ruins my mood. This has to change in 2017. I have to find that love for my job, or I might need to find a new job. Either way, I can’t be miserable at a place for the majority of the day, anymore. It is time to be happier!

3. Be nicer. Now, it is okay to be sarcastic, but I must also know when it’s gone too far. This year, I will learn to be nicer in certain situations, because I want people to like me, which cant happen if I’m being a complete asshole.

2. Achieve my goal in Special Effects. I said I wanted to eventually be a makeup artist at a haunted house. This is my first big milestone, so this year I want to achieve that. If that is all I do in special effects, that is okay with me!

1. Raise Impromtdude to the next level/Blogging for money has always been a dream. This dream will come true this year. I’m going to set my whole being to make sure this happens. I am tired of staying in the same place; it is time for a change. Get ready, 2017, its go time!

These are just a few of many goals. I have a lot planned for 2017 and I am ready to take it all on. There is no time to wait, anymore. I am ready to do great things. It is time to find my happiness in this world, more happiness than the day I met Ariel. It is time to find my purpose. Are you ready? If not, you better get ready because it is now 2017! Happy New Year!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Christmas is over.

Thank goodness for Christmas being over. This season has brought nothing but stress and fights, but it is over guys! Now, we get to look forward to a new year! 2016 was a pretty crappy year, but I have a feeling that 2017 will be a whole lot better! Even with the year not being the best, I have to look back on some great things that did happen, then I will write a short goal for 2017. I do plan on doing a New Years resolution post, but that will be on Sunday!!!

In 2016, We started out strong here on Impromtdude. In March, we were able to buy our first domain. That is right, we went from Impromtmaster.wordpress.com to Impromtdude.com. It was a small but amazing step to take. This was followed by getting my first hoodie and T-shirt. We also were able to raise our stats, by having one of post do super amazing, followed by a few others. Though we did amazing, we did fall short in a few other places.

We were giving a reward for continuously posting, but then one day lost all of that for us. I was too late one night, which ended that streak. This was the first time in almost a year that I didn’t post. Since then, I have failed to post daily. Its just hard to live life and do great things, stuff that I will write about, and post a blog every night. On top of all of this, I was starting to feel like this was more of a chore than a passion. This is when I realized that I was posting for stats, not for readers enjoyment. This is when I took a little time off. I have been off and on since then. But that is no problem, we will get back. Sometimes you just need a break. On other news, we are going to fall short of 100 likes on Facebook, which is pretty upsetting. This is something that I am going to change soon, but for now we will watch as I have failed to reach that number…

Now, we will talk about 2017.

Nothing could be as bad as 2016. You might have had a good year, but no one else did. 2016 was the year that took a huge amount of celebrities, two of my cars, my sanity and much more. That is why I am excited to get this next year started. With the new year, there will be a new goal for Impromtdude. This is something that I want to get back to and will attempt to do so in the next 365 days.

In 2017, I would love to build off of what we started. We were able to get apparel last year, I want to build on that. This will include a huge amount of items such as; Hoodies, T-shirts, hats, caps, sweat pants and/or socks. Now, not all the items will be available, but I hope to have something more for my dedicated fans. To build my fan base I will be making business cards/magnets. This will help my blog grow by giving me an easy way to promote myself when in public. But there is more! In 2017, I will be stepping out more and connecting with other writers. I plan on helping some people with their writing, writing with other people, having people guess blog, and many other amazing things. You will be seeing a lot of new faces. This is the best way to stay fresh; keep your blog enticing, by adding new opinions and faces. 

There will be more to come, but for now this is it. I will go into more detail Sunday, but know that 2017 will be the year that will make or break this blog. I really hope you will take this ride with me, because I can’t do this without you guys.

Also, I got a new laptop, so that is exciting!!! And I am getting glasses once this year ends. I can’t see crap, anymore. I finally know it’s time to get glasses.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Yesterday, I was giving the opportunity to open a few doors for a friend. I was approached by him, a few months ago, after I promoted a local artist. He asked me if I could do a write-up for him, also, and I gladly said yes, as promoting local artists happens to be very fun. There were a few hold ups during this process, as Kastle refused to send me the email back (LOL), but he finally got the email sent. As I read over the questions he answered, I knew instantly, this was going to be a very fun post to write. This man is great and has a very big heart for the Lord, making it easy to sell him to people. I got the post put up yesterday, but I would like to share, with you guys, his testimony and the interview!. This is a great way for you guys to fall in love with him all over again!
Don’t forget to Check out Kastle Li’s Facebook and his Labels page!
(Please take a look at the post, before clicking any links!)

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Kastle’s Testimony!
      My story is not like not so much like every professing Christian or believer of Christ, in a sense it carries the same message as some.
      I had parents; I had a mother and father but not so much for we didn’t bond as a family should, I didn’t feel that love til after I was already older and able to make my own decisions and be my own adult.

      I didn’t struggle with drugs or alcoholism, have I tried them before? Yes. Do I regret them now that I look back on it? Yes. But my past doesn’t conflict my future because my future lies within God.

      However, I did struggle with acceptance, and fitting in and wanting to belong amongst my peers, I lack identity and because of that I wore many masks to see which was fitting.

      I gangbanged, I attempted to sell drugs, I wanted money and woman, it never filled any missing spots in my life.

      I use to want to play pro basketball and football, even be a professional wrestler, even went as far as going to the wrestling schools, but in the end none of that interested me at all.

      I got into the habit of poetry as an outlet to escape the my environments growing up and even isolated myself from my peers in school, because I didn’t fit in, I was suicidal, bullied on a regular, got into fights at school and got kicked out number of occasions, show little to no respect for authority to the point, the school principle said himself that the direction I was heading, I wasn’t going anywhere and I believed him, grades slipping, no friends really, going nowhere in life.
     
      I got into the hip hop culture with no knowledge or experience in at all, the similarities in it is that it carried an poetry feel to me, substance, which has always been the fabric of hip hop since day one.

      So I got into rapping, and 2 years out of high school, I get set to drop my debut album “Still Searching” in 06’ and I run into an friend of mine, who was saved at that time and talked to me about God, at first I wasn’t buying it for the simple fact that, I’ve been around it as a kid and I didn’t believe in God for I had hatred towards him, I literally was raging war with God, I was an atheist and ok with it because how can an almighty God allow so much in this world?
     
      I can tell you now is because it’s of free will, free to make your decisions, but not free from the consequences of your decisions weather good or bad, there’s consequences in any and everything In life.

      I went to church with him one day, with my thoughts and questions to myself, spoke to no one, not even introduce myself to anyone, a quick in and out what was my plan was, but no.

     A youth pastor approached during worship, and asked to pray for me and I accepted, and as he was praying I felt this calm, peace come over me, like an reassurance that everything is going to be fine, he told me what I was struggling with, what my hurt was and I was in shock for I said nothing to no one, and the message that was preached that night was about hopelessness, while story of the prodigal son was the illustration piece to the message, they did alter call, I was so ashamed and worried about people looking and judging me that I almost backed out, and I felt something inside of me telling, assuring me that everything is going to be ok and this is why I came here, so I as I approached the alter, I dropped to my knees and cried  like a new born baby, as ministers prayed over me, I felt that one thing that has always eluded me for years,  I finally felt loved. I finally felt like I fit in and I don’t have to be something that I’m not, I can be me, the true me that God called me to be and I received much freedom in finding my identity inside of finding him, for the more I searched and find him, the more I find myself.

      That’s my testimony, the short testimony for that matter, the truth of the matter, is this: there’s freedom in Christ Jesus and whatever you going through in this life, big or small that you can trust and rest assured that God is able.
Kastle Li

                                                                                              Interviewing Kastle:
Part 1: Early Childhood

1. When were you born? I Was born July 17th 1985, I remember my mom’s telling me the doctor said I was going to be smart, because for a baby, I had a big head LOL

2. Where were you raised? I grew up on the Southside of Chicago

4. Where was your favorite place to go as a kid? We had a restaurant called Sal’s pizzeria, man that was in 1995, I had my first gyro, and played street fighter turbo for the first time, every Saturday I was doing chores to gain enough money to beat E.Hunda LOL.

5. What school did you attend as a kid? I attended Yale Elementary and in 96 we moved to Springfield, Illinois.

7. Was it hard for you to make friends in school? Yes definitely, I was socially unequipped down to the tee; I didn’t share the same interests as everybody did.
  
8. Were you more of the “Nerd” or “Class clown”? Neither, I stayed to myself and I had really bad social anxiety that I would hope the teacher wouldn’t call on me.
  
9. What is your favorite childhood memory? I have to say the summertime, red light, green light, two hand touch football, and ICE CREAM!! LOL.

10. In school, what was your favorite subject? Science for the most part…Still is to this day exactly.

11. And what about you’re least favorite? History for the simple fact that everything we we’re brought up to believe are a lie, that’s why boys and girls I stress to you to do your own research.

12. Did you move a lot as a child? Did it have any effect on you? Yes, it was difficult for me, because it seemed like someone was continuously hitting the reset button on me, I felt like I was starting over all the time to the point I became numb to it.

Part 2: The later years

1. When and what was your first job? I worked at McDonalds for three years.

2. Did you attend college? What College? What major? Yes, I attended ITT-Tech and I major in applied computer science and graduated June of 06’

3. What was your first car? How much did it cost you? My first car was a 1986 Ford LTD Crown Victoria and I didn’t pay for it because it’s been in the family for a long time, gas guzzler Foreal bro!

4. As a graduate, what were your goals set after high school? I didn’t have any except be the biggest rapper and have all the money and girls, then I grew up LOL.

6. Who, in your life, impacted you the most between ages 5-25? My fathers to this day (R.I.P.) that man showed me first hand, the definition of working hard and bow down to no man, and take care of yours before you tell someone how to take care of theirs.

7. Is that mentor still mentoring you to this point in your life? Yes I must say, I still carry some traits of him in me.

8. Are you a participant of sports? Which ones? Did you play in high school? No. The most I ever did in school was wrestling and that was for one year and outside of school, I did some boxing nothing major, it’s just as a teen, I was getting jumped and the owner of a boxing gym wanted to show me a few pointers.

9. Are you big into writing? Yes and No, it depends.

10. When did you begin to write music? Junior year in high school, I was big into poetry and I lost one of my papers and someone who happens to rap found and gave it to me and said if this was a song it would be dope and it just took off from there. Prior to that I was always big on the culture of hip hop, just wasn’t a rapper because I always received negative feedback, but clearly all that changed.

Part 3: It’s all about inspiration

1. As an artist, who inspires you to keep following your dream? Underdogs, people who was always told that they can’t because I was always told that I can’t, it something about that position to prove any and everybody wrong, it gets me all the time. 

2. How will your music impact teens of this generation? It will give them a message that no matter what you’re going through in life, Jesus is there, and he loves you and nothing you ever done is to big for you to not come to him. That’s what someone told me before I found God and that’s the message I want to send to everyone.

3. How will you inspire people beyond your beats and rhymes? Hopefully, it’ll inspire someone to look in the mirror and say “This life, I’m living needs to change and I want something better for myself.” Well I like to think anyway.

4. In this world there are a lot of inspirations, what do you think inspires kids these days?? Moving beyond the normal honestly, their visualists were visualists, you and me, we don’t want to hear it, we want to see, and that’s what my music does in my opinion, it gives you a visual prospective.
 
5. Is there more bad influence or good influence in this world today? A combination of both, good influence being overcrowded with bad influences.

6. Can you give me a few of your lyrics that would inspire someone to make it through the day? Whatever you got going on, you’ll make it, you’re made to endure, best believe you can take it, because you’re a fighter, a survivor, a natural born rider, light of this world, a walker lighter.
  
7. Is Jesus an outline throughout your previous album? Will this stay the same? Jesus has and will always be a huge part of my music.

8. What artist would you like to mirror throughout your career? Not sure, never really looked at an artist and be like, I want to do what they’re doing you know? Well that’s just me I must say.

9. Which parent would you say you’re learned more from? Explain? My father, he didn’t have an education, but you wouldn’t know that talking to him, he showed me that because you may lack something, doesn’t defect your worth at all. I mean this had no degree or diploma and still held down jobs on top of jobs, that’s why I hear dudes complain about not getting work, I’m not trying to hear that, it can be done if you really want it man.

10. What inspiration will you bring to the table? My drive, focus, and never say die attitude of course.

Part 4: Music so sick!

1. What genre are you under? Has this always been the same? CHH (Christian Hip Hop) no. I started out rapping like everybody else until I found God and as I was growing, my passion was growing as well, like there’s more to this life than even we may ever know.
What did you learn from past shows? Rocking the stage is very important, you can put out hot music all day every day, but if your live performance suck then that’s all she wrote.

4. How many shows have you been a part of? Which one was the most memorable? 6. I can’t pick for the reason that each one taught me to grow, but if I had to pick it would be my first one, I was so nervous that I was stuttering on stage and was so glad to finish that set.

5. What is your fondest memory, of the years you have put into your music? Completing my first mixtape in 2009, I was going through so much, lost a job, homelessness was approaching, I was suicidal and all I had to keep me going at that time was God, a bible, pen and pad and recording equipment and that was my therapy.

6. When and why did you begin to use music to express yourself? Music and poetry has always been one in the same to me, it has always been my place of escape, my way of expressing myself creatively in a sense.

7. What were your first songs about? Salvation at the cross and how we can grow from the inside out.

8. What were some of your first rhymes?  Man (Chuckles) they so wack that I voluntarily forgot them!

9. When you write a new song, is it lyrics before beat, or beat before lyrics? Has it ever changed? Man sometimes it depends the mood or state of mind that I’m in, sometimes, I hear a nice beat and write to it or sometimes something nice come to my mind and I write it out and I look for a beat to match it and write some more or edit what I wrote and build from there.

10. Are you a self-taught musician? If not, who taught you to work the magic? A combo of both, most of my friends are musicians, writers etc. and I learned a lot from them and mostly I listened to hip hop a lot, not just the songs, but the flow, the patterns and timing of it all. I was literally a sponge to the art.

11. What is your artist name? What is the story behind it? I go by Kastle Li, I was in worship one night and God gave me castle for that’s where the king dwells at, inside of me, so I switched the C to an K as a reminder of the “King.”

12. What is your signature? Something that people will know you by? My rawness and willingness to keep it real.
13. Where do you do most of your writing? Is there a certain place you have to be in? I have a home studio, but none the less, anywhere, park bench, at the table of a coffee shop, don’t matter as long as I got a notebook, bible or bible app on my phone and two pens and headphones.

14. How do you recover when a mistake is made during a show? Keep going; finish the set (hahaha)
15. Who do you look up to in the music industry? Why? Bizzle, the fact that he was who he was, when he came into the game to begin with and never changed, it was God over money then and it’s God over money now.

16. Do you play any instruments? Do you add these instruments to your songs? No, if I could it would be a piano.

17. I want to become an artist, but I’m nervous. How can you help me calm down? What advice? It’s good to be nervous, it builds you and reminds you that you’re human, but none the less, have fun for the most part, the crowd is like kids, they can smell fear (haha) I got kids that’s why I said that, but if you chilled and the crowd rocking with you, it’s all good bro.

18. Are you willing to teach those who want to become musicians? I can teach what I do know, but in actuality I’m a student myself, so first thing to learn is to stay humble and ready to learn.

19. Do you practice a lot? How do you practice? Yes. I practice in front of mirror when I know I’m performing live, but when I’m laying down vocals for a track, I practice rapping a lot before I lay down the track, so it comes out smooth.

20. How do you stay calm as the show begins? I remind myself why I’m doing this and there’s somebody coming that don’t knows God and would like to, and have fun for the most part.

21. What’s more nerve racking? The pre-show or during the show? During the show, you never know what could happen.

22. What is the best way to stay calm? Practice, plenty of rest and a balance meal.

23. How do you keep a balance in life as an artist? Being married with children, it becomes difficult at times, but at the end of day, family is the first ministry and everything else comes after, if my family good, then I’m golden bro.

24. In shows, how do you reach out to the crowd? Man I share my past experience, something people can relate to because we all struggle with something in this life, and start to pray for people.

25. If you’re giving any label, which one would you sign to? Doesn’t matter to me as long as they know where I stand with God and we’re on the same page.
26. Are you working on any projects right now? I’m working on my first debut album that’s slated to be released soon.
27. Do you own your own studio? What kind of equipment do you have? Yes. I have an home studio and I have an mxl 770 condenser mic, subwoofer speakers, and I use adobe audition as recording software.
28. How did you record your first album? I record from home, and I ship my files online through email to my label boss and he mix and master it in a studio and we go from there.

29. What are you plans in the music industry? To share the gospel and reach any and every one in need.
30. Where will you be in five years? I don’t know, hopefully a good place.

Part 5: Tell me more
1. Tell me about your upcoming album? It’s my first album, so it’s a bit personal and uplifting, but creative for the most part.

2. What is the title to the album? The story behind that title? The wait was worth it, I call it that because this album should have been out years ago, but a lot of setbacks and things in life derailed me numerous times, but at the same time from what I can take from it, is the growth I received from it all, how to be an better mc, rhymer all of that. So when it’s time for me to release this album, all the hard work, all the waiting, is going to be worth it (Smiles).

3. What can we expect from this album? Anyone that’s ever heard my previous work will definitely hear the growth in it and the new found drive as well. The energy in this is crazy.

4. Do you have any shows coming up? Where? Not as of yet, I put everything aside to focus on this album, but soon.

5. How long did it take you to write this album? A month.
6. Did you make all the beats to this album? How long did that take? Some yes and some no, I have a team of go to producers I kick it with, oh yeah shout out to jruso beats and Choo valentine, you guys are the MVP (haha).

9. Who will be featured on this album? Being that it’s my first, I didn’t want to overload it with features, but it’s light, I wanted everyone to hear mostly me and build from there.

10. How will this album be unique? Fast raps, new style beats, Rock underlines, anything?
11. How does the present state of the world affect your music? It doesn’t, it only proves my point on how we need to turn back to God.
Fun fillers
Xbox or Ps3? Xbox, 2k all day.
What did you want to be when you were 5? Superman.

Married? Or Dating? Married.

Can you freestyle? A little.

Dream vacation? Florida, with a nice house ocean view.

Favorite ice-cream? Oreo.

Coffee fan? Yes, hazelnut. 
Nerd or Jock? Neither.
Who will win the super bowl this year? Are you a sports fan? I still have high hopes for the bears man, my Chicago bulls please pray for them (haha)

If you are a fan of sports, what’s your favorite sport? Team? Bears, white sox, bulls, Blackhawks, Chicago everything.

Favorite movie? The outsiders, loved the book in high school, and really dug the movie.

If you were on the titanic, would you have saved rose? Yes, but we both would’ve been sharing the board, I wouldn’t be freezing.

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Sorry guys, tonight won’t be a long post. I need to go to the doctor, because I feel I have high blood pressure or something serious wrong, which was shown today. During work we got a surprise visit from the health department. The visit wasn’t anything, but afterwards my head started to hurt and I started to get dizzy. I think this was from the stress I was under, but I’m not too sure. I was debating if I should just postpone this blog, or if I should just bring an old post out, but we hit a milestone yesterday, which is awesome for this blog!
You guys have been belting that like button, more than ever before. This is evident from the fact that I got my reward for 200 likes!
  When I started this blog, I was unable to get anyone to like or even read my blog. So to see that I am now getting likes, everyday, really excites me and pushes me to do more. That I do promise! I promise that the more love this blog gets, the more that I will post. I have been thinking of two post a day, but I need to know I won’t be wasting my time.
Anyways, thanks guys! Thank you for pushing me to get another reward. I can say “without you guys, none of this would be possible!” You guys are amazing! Now let’s get to 500 likes!!!! We can do it!
Hit the like button for my pains to go away!

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Impromtdude