Posts Tagged ‘back’

Welcome back! It has been so dang long and I do apologize for that. It has been the roughest year of my young life, and that has caused me to not want to write. But nonetheless, we are back in action. I won’t be posting nearly as much as I use to, but know that you will be getting a blog 4 out of 7 days. This is solely because posting 7 days a week is just too draining and I don’t want to find myself hating this again. Not that I could ever hate you, guys. Wink, wink! Also, with the change of the schedule, I will also be giving this blog some direction. This will help you guys know what is going on at all times and will finally give this blog a name. For most of this blogs existence, I have posted whatever comes to mind, which can be hard to pull in outsiders, since people only read what they think will affect them. In this “Revival” of “Impromtdude” We will be leaning more towards encouragement. Meaning 2 of the 4 post will be uplifting messages to help you guys get through the day, then the other 2 days will be reviews, promotions, writing prompts, thoughts, lessons, or anything else I can think of. I really feel that will bring life back into this keyboard, and will give you guys encouragement to face your demons. I have to say that I am glad to be back and I hope you enjoy the upcoming projects, as I am excited to share my thoughts and talents with you guys. Thank you for reading!

Don’t let toxic people ruin your shine.

When I was going up, I lived with my mom. At 7 years old, you are looking to your parents for the right and wrongs. You are over being that toddler that is running around the house, and you aren’t quite the man that is taking girls out. You are right in the middle. These are the times that you really need a strong backbone to know what is wrong and right and you need that person to push you in the right direction. She wasn’t this, though. She taught me, at such a young age, that hate is good and that you must judge everyone on their actions. Most of her lessons were, of course, about hating my dad, as she taught me that he wasn’t around because he was a bad father, not because she had a restraining order on him. She also taught me that it was okay to steal, lie and cheat. This led me to lying to people, cheating in class, and stealing (to the point of being banned from a gas station at 8 years old!) This went on for many years. When I grew up, I ended up being like her in many ways. I would blame others when I didn’t get my way, I lied to girls to get what I wanted, and I got in trouble for stealing; all things that she taught me because she was a toxic person.

This was all said to tell you that you don’t need or want toxic people in your life. They will tear you down and only will use you for their pleasure. They don’t care about you or how you feel; they only want what they can get. If you stop giving it to them, then they will leave you and treat you like they treat everyone else. You will become nobody in their eyes, because they won’t be able to use you as a puppet.

Toxic people come in many forms; boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bosses, coworkers, and most importantly family. Anyone in your life can be toxic. Toxic people just want everyone to be as miserable as they are. Boyfriends will use words to cut down their girlfriends (and vice versa,) usually telling the girl that she is ugly, fat or stupid. This is usually in attempt to make her feel so low about her own self that she would never think about leaving him. Your coworkers can be toxic by the way they talk to you or about others. Getting that promotion is their only goal, and they will do anything to get it, even putting you through the ringer. They also take time and gossip about your other workers, mainly to make themselves look better, which can make the workplace dangerous and full or drama, which was their goal all along. Drama is soul food for these people. But one type of toxic person, one that we didn’t think should be on this list, is your family. Family is supposed to be there in thick and thin. They are supposed to support your feelings, your dreams and also should see your side of the story. They should understand that you aren’t always going to like someone or agree with everyone. They should show you the love that you always gave them. This isn’t always the case, though. Some families are full of drama seeking  hateful judgers that want everyone to hear them, but never want to listen. Such as my mom, they want everyone to see their side and only their side. They will do everything in their power to convince others that you are wrong and that they are right. Most families will break apart because of the toxicity feelings.

What should we do about toxic people? CUT THEM OFF. Don’t let your boyfriend talk to you like he does, remove yourself from conversations will negative people, and if you need to, cut your family off. You have a life to live, so don’t let others bring you down. Life is too stressful to allow others to fill you will negative thoughts and feelings, so cut them off. You will never change their mind; you will never do them justice. Every word that you speak will go in one ear and out the other, so stop wasting your breath. Get a knife and cut the ties, because you will be happier that way! I saw a big change when I cut my mom off. She wanted to blame my dad for my bad childhood and wanted to tell me that it was his fault, but I knew the truth. The truth was that she was just hateful and wanted to avoid being the blame, so she pushed it on someone else. I thought that I could pull her up and show her that no one was to blame fully, but I saw quickly that she was pulling me into negativity, and if I didn’t release her hand then I would become the same type of person. It won’t work! You put yourself at risk anytime you try to pull these people out of their toxicity! But it is so easy to pull you down.

I have seen so many toxic people in my life, but that is also why I don’t talk to that many people. I don’t dance with snakes and I don’t drink with fools. Being around toxic people is as dangerous as dancing in the middle of a freeway, you will eventually be flattened! Don’t let that happen, though! Get up, cut those people off, and live your most positive life. It will be hard to cut these people off, especially at the family level, but you need to do it.  Stop letting them ruin your most happy days, take them back already!

Thank you for all your support. This is my first time writing a blog in almost a year and dang did it feel so good. I miss this feeling. I will have something up soon to tell you guys what will be posted and when. I have a few big projects coming in the next few weeks that I will need your help on, ill post more details soon. Thank you for the support and I love you.

purple liquid poison on brown wooden surface

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

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There is too much to explain in this post to where I have been. Let me just ensure you that it’s been hectic. I won’t go too far into it, but know I haven’t forgotten about you. I have been dealing with some things, and I would like to share with you guys, tomorrow. 

I am back, though. Ler us get this going again, and this time we will make history. Life is starting to slow down, again. This means that everything will be going back to normal, then I will be able to write daily.

We will talk more about this tomorrow, so don’t miss it. I have missed you guys, so show this little, tiny post a huge warm hug! Love you and see you tomorrow! 

   Have you ever wanted to go back in time, or do something that you did as a child? Have you ever had times, in your life, that you missed the simple days, and wished that you could have another opportunity to make up for lost time?

   When we were kids things were so simple. Life was easy as children, we never had to worry, and we could enjoy the small things. I know as a child, I was fascinated by twigs, sticks, stickers, and any toys that were available. I could turn anything into a toy, and I would never get upset if I didn’t get a specific item. I’m happy now, but I know I was happier then.

   Pokémon has made a return, one that has everyone freaking out. I’m not a huge fan of Pokémon, but with the release of the new game, it has caused me to want to go back in time. I was very young when I started to collect the cards. I use to get the cards out of a local vending machine, inside a grocery store, and I still have all of my original Pokémon cards, and remember playing the Gameboy advance game. I was so fascinated with collecting every card, oh how the time has passed.

     Sadly, I don’t find the classic game fun anymore. I haven’t touched the cards or played any of the games, in years. But I did do something today that will help me go back in time a little. Though, it isn’t the Pokémon game, I did buy an old favorite from Disc Replay, today. It was a game that I originally spent hours playing on the gamecube. I started many games, made many characters, and won a lot. The game isn’t super old (like Pokémon) but it is a game that will help me “go back.” This game is “Madden ’09” and it’s a fan favorite.

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    Back in the day, I was a big card player (yugioh and Pokémon) but as I grew up I got more into sports and sports games. I remember playing “Madden 98” on the PS1 with friends, never knowing how to properly play, or knowing who played for what team. We simply played to spend time together. It was always a blast, there was truly never a dual moment when we played. When I got my gamecube, my friends wanted to play some more Madden, that is when I bought “Madden ’07,” which is my favorite classic Madden, until ’09 came out. ’09 was the last Madden to be released on the gamecube, which is why it’s so special to me.

     I don’t know why this game makes me feel so young, but it’s nice to feel young, again. Being old sucks. All I do is work all the time, and then come home and sleep. I miss the days when I didn’t have to work or pay bills. I miss the days that I could stay up all night, and wouldn’t have to worry about work the next morning. It was nice to get a summer vacation. Now, I get one week of vacation, but during those vacations, I usually sleep or work around the house. I am tired of being responsible, so God, please take me back. Take me back to the easy days, before the hard days!

Impromtdude

What is the hardest part?
I have been doing this for a while now, and I have wondered; what is the hardest part of being a writer? Is it the long nights, sitting in front of a computer screen, or the idea making process, maybe it’s the writing alone? These are some hard things, but there is only one that has been affecting me lately, that being the idea making process. It has become hard to come up with any good ideas, or ones that I haven’t talked about before, that is.
I have been doing this for a few years, making the chances of “new” ideas hard to come up with sometimes. When I cant find something to write about, that hasn’t already been talked about, I begin to stress, and overwhelm myself with self-doubt, saying that I am not a good writer, or that I am not a true author, because authors never run out of ideas, HA. I laugh at myself for thinking such foolishness, every writer has these days. This is a part of writing, the worst part for most, that is. It is the fact of not being able to write words onto the blank page, or to paint a new picture on a blank canvas. This is when Writers block becomes a friend.
I was a victim of a long writers block. I lost all the passion I had, for writing. I took a “break” from writing, in order to try to beat the writers block, that way, but that didn’t work. The longer that I stayed down, the harder it became to get back into the game. I was a lost sailor at sea, waiting for a wave to bring me home, but the currents were calm, there was no rain, nothing. I was in the middle of the ocean, with no hope; I had nothing but faith, that one day, I would get back into writing, and I would be better than ever. This didn’t happen, though. I found myself deeper into the ocean, until I couldn’t see the land, anymore. This is what Writers block feels like, it feels like you’re lost and alone. It takes you down, and makes you its tormented slave. You will obey its commands, and nothing will be said. You now are a dead writer with no hope in sight.
I know this guy named Larry. He is a great writer, but something has happened, recently. He has began to write a new blog, but as he got into a rhythm, he stopped. He said that he had nothing to write about, and that he would start to write, again, shortly. It sounds more like he has been filled with self-doubt that has caused a small case of writers block. This is a scary place to be in, just starting a blog and you already have become weary of what you want to post. This man needs help, and so don’t you guys!
I am talking to those on a “break” from writing. This is not a break, this is a prison!!! Stop your break, right now, and get back into the game. This is a serious issue. I don’t know what happened, weather you are tired of stats, bored of writing, or cant find an idea, you can’t give up! You have to find some way to fight back. For me, Fight back is writing everything, in my head, down, and finding a way to make a post out of it. This is also when you need to break all the rules, and post things, you have already posted.
It wont matter if you posted that content, before. If you give up, due to that, then what is the point on making it a big deal, you are done, anyway. You will find yourself posting some of the same ideas, that is life. I know that I have posted the same ideas, many times, but that is what makes an author, himself. You can’t expect to have something brand new, every day, it’s simply impossible. You are human, certain ideas will never change. If you are afraid of running out of ideas, then remember; If you are planning on writing something new, every time, then you might as well stop now. Posting the same material is fine, sometimes the second post will be more detailed, than the first. Never allow the doubt stop you from writing. It might be you’re bored, or tired, or blah but you can’t let Writers block stop you. In writing, there are no vacations, stop lying to yourself!  

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I hate my eyesight so much.
Sometimes I refuse to write, because my eyesight is getting worse. I can see fine, yet someday my eyesight will get blurry. Some of the people that I talk to about it, say it is high blood pressure. But when I think back, I think my eyes are worn out.
When I was fourteen, I would sit in a dark room, and talk to people online. The light would always be the brightest, in order for me to see the letters clearly. This led to me having headaches, that later caused me to have a slight blur. But I never wanted glasses, so I always acted like I was okay, but secretly I was having troubles.

I would always pray at nights, that my eyes would go back to normal, but it seemed that my prayers always fell to the ground. I lost a lot of my faith for the lord due to this fact, but now I know the answers. The real cure to my eye problems was to get checked out when it wasn’t bad. But I didn’t listen. I could’ve got contacts, and lived a normal life, and I still can. But I lost out on so much, I didn’t read certain books, because it takes me longer to read now, because shortly into reading, my head begins to hurt.

I hate the feeling of being held back in writing, as well. When I begin to write, sometimes my eyes will go blurry, and will slow me down, causing me to lose momentum, that causes me to lose a train of thought. I want to get this fixed so that I can be released from the hand of an enemy, but I am scared of glasses.

I don’t want to be made funny of when I get the glasses. I would hate to be bullied, and called four-eyes. This is one main reason, I never got checked. I might have been scared then, but not now. Now, I know that I have to have my eyes when I write, which means that not matter the circumstances, I have to make my eyes healthy, even if it means being called four-eyes.

Are you feeling scared to do something, because your worried of bullies? Remember this, you are beautiful no matter what? Do you have a surgery coming up to remove your teeth, but you are thinking the pain is worth not being made fun of? If so, you are causing yourself unneeded pain. Nothing this world can say, should hurt you. You are stronger than them, because you knew that they were out there, the people that bully, but you still went through the situation. You are strong enough to not care what they think, this shows that you are bigger than them. You are doing you, and who can tell you that you are doing you wrong? No one. So stop worrying about what the world will say, and take a stand for you! 

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I posted a passage for my dad yesterday. Now there is something in my chest that says I need to ask someone special, a question. I have done a post like this in the past, but it wasn’t tagged with her name in it, so today I will tag her in this blog, and hopefully she will respond. Hopefully I will get answers to the questions that I will ask her, today. If she doesn’t respond then I will move on, but if by chance she answers, I will receive the answers finally. I will be content with what she says, no matter what, because a fake answer is better than nothing at all. This might be hard to write, so please read from my P.O.V.

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Dear Mom,

When did you leave? I was ten years old, it was the end of fourth grade. I was failing everything, but the thing I hated the most was failing you, or thinking that way. I never felt good enough when I was around you. I couldn’t stand seeing you struggle with the pains in life, being a single mom must have been hard. We were always moving, which always kept my heart broken, because I could never call a place “Home.” I use to blame you for this, but now I realize you were sick. You didn’t know how to be alone, your priorities were out of place.

     I remember having over three hundred dollars in a jar, which was for you to go see a man in prison. This was the same time that we had no food in our home. This was the same time that we didn’t have hot water. I would get made fun of in school for how I smelt. I didn’t want to go to school because of the looks that kids would give me. I thought being bullied was a part of life through all of this, because that is all I ever knew. But you only cared about getting money for your boyfriend. What I can’t get over is that you missed my biggest accomplishments. I graduated twice, got my first car, job, and got married. These were the biggest events that I wanted you to come to, it hurts that you didn’t!  I can get over this to say that I miss and love you.
I want to know the answer to these few questions. I need the answers to be sincere and not full of hate. The last time I asked you these questions, your only answer was “Your father.” That isn’t a proper answer, because you were the one to leave, he wasn’t. Please take this seriously, this is me at my most venerable. I searched 10 years for you, I paid a website to find you, but there was no results, well no updated answers anyways. You moved a lot, but one day you came back.

Why did it take you ten years to come back in my life?

Why did you wait a decade to find your kids?

What did you do in that ten years?

Were you scared that we would hate you?

Did you cry yourself to sleep, like I did every night in foster care?

My father was there for me, why did you make me hate my father so much? He isn’t the man that you made him out to be. Mom, why weren’t you a parent to me and my siblings? I don’t see how a woman that gave birth, could just leave like you did! I have some unhealed wounds, and hopefully this wont make more. But It hurts me to not know what happened. If you don’t answer, I will move on, but don’t make me do that please. My heart is open for a relationship. People say I shouldn’t give you a chance, but that is crazy. You were sick and now I know, that is the woman that you will be. But I would rather have a mother that is sick, then to not have someone there. You messed up, but there will be a time that you nor dad will be here, and I don’t want you to be absent from my life for much longer. You are my mother, and I love you. I miss you, please write back!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude