Posts Tagged ‘alone’

Welcome back! It has been so dang long and I do apologize for that. It has been the roughest year of my young life, and that has caused me to not want to write. But nonetheless, we are back in action. I won’t be posting nearly as much as I use to, but know that you will be getting a blog 4 out of 7 days. This is solely because posting 7 days a week is just too draining and I don’t want to find myself hating this again. Not that I could ever hate you, guys. Wink, wink! Also, with the change of the schedule, I will also be giving this blog some direction. This will help you guys know what is going on at all times and will finally give this blog a name. For most of this blogs existence, I have posted whatever comes to mind, which can be hard to pull in outsiders, since people only read what they think will affect them. In this “Revival” of “Impromtdude” We will be leaning more towards encouragement. Meaning 2 of the 4 post will be uplifting messages to help you guys get through the day, then the other 2 days will be reviews, promotions, writing prompts, thoughts, lessons, or anything else I can think of. I really feel that will bring life back into this keyboard, and will give you guys encouragement to face your demons. I have to say that I am glad to be back and I hope you enjoy the upcoming projects, as I am excited to share my thoughts and talents with you guys. Thank you for reading!

Don’t let toxic people ruin your shine.

When I was going up, I lived with my mom. At 7 years old, you are looking to your parents for the right and wrongs. You are over being that toddler that is running around the house, and you aren’t quite the man that is taking girls out. You are right in the middle. These are the times that you really need a strong backbone to know what is wrong and right and you need that person to push you in the right direction. She wasn’t this, though. She taught me, at such a young age, that hate is good and that you must judge everyone on their actions. Most of her lessons were, of course, about hating my dad, as she taught me that he wasn’t around because he was a bad father, not because she had a restraining order on him. She also taught me that it was okay to steal, lie and cheat. This led me to lying to people, cheating in class, and stealing (to the point of being banned from a gas station at 8 years old!) This went on for many years. When I grew up, I ended up being like her in many ways. I would blame others when I didn’t get my way, I lied to girls to get what I wanted, and I got in trouble for stealing; all things that she taught me because she was a toxic person.

This was all said to tell you that you don’t need or want toxic people in your life. They will tear you down and only will use you for their pleasure. They don’t care about you or how you feel; they only want what they can get. If you stop giving it to them, then they will leave you and treat you like they treat everyone else. You will become nobody in their eyes, because they won’t be able to use you as a puppet.

Toxic people come in many forms; boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bosses, coworkers, and most importantly family. Anyone in your life can be toxic. Toxic people just want everyone to be as miserable as they are. Boyfriends will use words to cut down their girlfriends (and vice versa,) usually telling the girl that she is ugly, fat or stupid. This is usually in attempt to make her feel so low about her own self that she would never think about leaving him. Your coworkers can be toxic by the way they talk to you or about others. Getting that promotion is their only goal, and they will do anything to get it, even putting you through the ringer. They also take time and gossip about your other workers, mainly to make themselves look better, which can make the workplace dangerous and full or drama, which was their goal all along. Drama is soul food for these people. But one type of toxic person, one that we didn’t think should be on this list, is your family. Family is supposed to be there in thick and thin. They are supposed to support your feelings, your dreams and also should see your side of the story. They should understand that you aren’t always going to like someone or agree with everyone. They should show you the love that you always gave them. This isn’t always the case, though. Some families are full of drama seeking  hateful judgers that want everyone to hear them, but never want to listen. Such as my mom, they want everyone to see their side and only their side. They will do everything in their power to convince others that you are wrong and that they are right. Most families will break apart because of the toxicity feelings.

What should we do about toxic people? CUT THEM OFF. Don’t let your boyfriend talk to you like he does, remove yourself from conversations will negative people, and if you need to, cut your family off. You have a life to live, so don’t let others bring you down. Life is too stressful to allow others to fill you will negative thoughts and feelings, so cut them off. You will never change their mind; you will never do them justice. Every word that you speak will go in one ear and out the other, so stop wasting your breath. Get a knife and cut the ties, because you will be happier that way! I saw a big change when I cut my mom off. She wanted to blame my dad for my bad childhood and wanted to tell me that it was his fault, but I knew the truth. The truth was that she was just hateful and wanted to avoid being the blame, so she pushed it on someone else. I thought that I could pull her up and show her that no one was to blame fully, but I saw quickly that she was pulling me into negativity, and if I didn’t release her hand then I would become the same type of person. It won’t work! You put yourself at risk anytime you try to pull these people out of their toxicity! But it is so easy to pull you down.

I have seen so many toxic people in my life, but that is also why I don’t talk to that many people. I don’t dance with snakes and I don’t drink with fools. Being around toxic people is as dangerous as dancing in the middle of a freeway, you will eventually be flattened! Don’t let that happen, though! Get up, cut those people off, and live your most positive life. It will be hard to cut these people off, especially at the family level, but you need to do it.  Stop letting them ruin your most happy days, take them back already!

Thank you for all your support. This is my first time writing a blog in almost a year and dang did it feel so good. I miss this feeling. I will have something up soon to tell you guys what will be posted and when. I have a few big projects coming in the next few weeks that I will need your help on, ill post more details soon. Thank you for the support and I love you.

purple liquid poison on brown wooden surface

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    Imagine walking down a long, dark tunnel. This tunnel resembles your life and the choices that you have made. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The closer you get to the light, the more colder that the tunnel gets. You are freezing, but it gets worse. You are almost to the end, then it starts to pour water. You want to continue, but doubt gets to you. You don’t think that you can make it, so you stop. The light at the end of the tunnel becomes dim, then fades completely. This is what depression feels like. At first, you are strong, but then the weight of the world falls onto your shoulders. You want to carry on, but the hope is no longer driving you. You begin to feel alone and eventually you give up.

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   350 million people are affected by depression worldwide. This is 5% of the whole world. Of the U.S.A we are looking at 16 million civilians that suffer from feeling alone or not good enough. People are likely to be depressed because of Brain chemistry, Hormones, genetics and/or personal risk factors, which include: Low self-esteem, physical or sexual abuse, diabetes or other major health factors, alcohol or drug abuse, medication side-effects, also the history of their family can play a big part in their health. Women are also more likely to suffer from depression than men are.

   Suffering from depression can really hold someone down and make their life unbearable. If the feeling of being alone isn’t enough, there are other effects that depression will cause. These effects consist of becoming angry easily, not being able to control your anger, anxiety issues, loss of interest in something that you love to do, being stuck in the past, and having suicidal thoughts. This becomes hard to live a life when you have no passion to do anything, especially the hobbies that you use to love to participate in.  With no interest in doing anything, one could only imagine what negative effects this will have on the body. There are a huge amount of additional effects that bring harm to your body, and should not be ignored.
   
   The physical effects are pretty serious and are usually easy to spot. This is why they ask you to keep an eye for these things. Insomnia, fatigue, and random aches and pains might be hard to catch, as the person might not speak up about it. But you might be able to catch these next few things easier. Weight gain/loss in a rapid form. You will be able to catch if someone is losing a lot of weight (or gaining) quickly. Increase or decrease in appetite should also be easy to catch on to. Also, they could have a hard time concentrating. If the person is big into art, but can’t find time to concentrate on art, then youmight want to talk to them. This is a pretty huge deal, because the next sign is more dangerous; cutting/self harm. You will be able to see the marks (sometimes not so easily) but this shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you ever find someone is cutting, you need to talk them into getting help, immediately.

  Being a friend to a person with depression can be hard, but God gives us help in his word. Three scriptures stood out to me today, all of them pointed to this topic. These scriptures can guide you to help those in need, or they can help you as you fight depression, yourself. The first Scripture was

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Psalms 34:17 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”

1 Peter 5: 6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

   God will never leave his people. He is always there for you, all you have to do is cry out for him. He knows that you are not strong enough to face the giants, alone, that is why he is there with you. You must first humble yourself, then you and God will be able to escape the feeling of world being on your shoulders. But, remember, as the children of God, it is also our job to go out and help those in need. We have to watch for the signs. Suicide is a huge problem, but with our kind hearts, we could change all of that! It is time for us to help those in need. It is our time to stand with those who feel alone.

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

What is really hurting me is that people are hurting. This is the season for everyone to come together and feel loved. Christmas is about getting together with your loved ones and enjoying each others company as you celebrate. It doesn’t matter your beliefs, it doesn’t matter about money, all that matters is that you are together. Christmas is suppose to be about love, so why is everyone having such a rough time? Why do I see more depression and broken hearts, more death and a lot more negativity? Is it my set of friends or is everyone having a horrible season of holidays? Either way, what can we do?

I am a huge Facebook user, and each day I sign in and spend hours looking through post. I like to keep up with old friends, that I don’t usually talk to. I also like to share in special memories of others, such as babies, new cars, and much more. One of the biggest things I love to read are praises or small things that make peoples lives awesome. Recently, I found out that a close friend went on a prayer walk, one to get himself closer to God. He had a great time and got a lot from it. These little things make me so happy, then we also have those post about a girl that can’t take life anymore, these post are what get me upset.

Where, in life, do we find ourselves in so much pain that we have nothing to live for? I remember laughing and having a great time, as a child. Yet, somewhere we were giving a curse of depression? When did life get so hard? I’m not sure, but it is a huge problem.

We are talking about MILLIONS of people that suffer from depression. These are people that feel unwanted, abused, torn, worn, and alone. At one time, these people were happy, but something happened to where they fell and hit rock bottom. One of the main reasons is death. Everyone has lost someone due to death, it is the cycle of life, but that doesn’t mean it is easy. A death in the family can tear apart the most perfect relationships. A death as a mother can leave children broken for life, making it hard for them to even get through the day. Other reasons for depression can be; Failed classes, failed dreams, breakups, being ignored, loss of friends, money problems, and bullying. The list can go on for hours, but that isn’t the point. The point is; we have the chance to change this, by simply being there for them during the hard times!

I don’t want to see anyone hurting, especially during the holiday seasons. We are meant to be happy individuals, so what can we do? The answer is simple; we need to show them that they are loved. This doesn’t have to be a big gesture, it can as simple as texting them and telling them you love them, or inviting them over to your house for dinner. The smallest gestures can help tremendously. People just want to be wanted. They want to know that you are thinking about them. This is why Bart and I are sending out love!

I want to call this “Love for Christmas; A Better Gift.” This is where I will try to find those who are hurting and I will let them know that I am thinking about them! Bart (My Christmas Stuffed Animal) will write everyone (in pain) a small note, informing that person that they aren’t alone. I don’t know if this will help, but I have to do something. I think everyone of you guys should do the same. Write a small note to those you love, telling them that you are thinking of them, praying for them, or that you love them. It doesn’t have to be a long message, but I promise it will mean the world to those in pain. This Christmas, we need to let everyone know that we are together, as one, to celebrate. Will you do it?

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

This was an old story that I was working on. I was going to post it, as a special, on WattPad, but once I finished it I didn’t want it to go just anywhere. This was a good piece (in my opinion) and I wanted to share it with you guys. Though, when I was about to post it, I lost the piece. I couldn’t find the project, anywhere, and it began to stress me out. I gave up searching for it, and decided that it wsa just a waste of a blog post, anyway, but I finally found it! I was cleaning out some files and came across this wonderful story, but do you guys want to read it? I don’t know if you do, so tell me? I will post a few paragraphs, and will let you guys decide!

Standing alone!
I sit here, in my room, all alone after the fight with my wife. I said a few things again that were not needed to be said. I know I need to stop the way that I treat her, or one day she will leave me. But there is something that she does, that pisses me off. My wife pushes me to a point that I want to break her neck. I have never been violent with a woman, but there is a line that I also haven’t crossed and I feel like she is about to shove me across that line.
The whole fight started with her staying at work for longer than needed. I was waiting outside waiting for her, I had roses in one hand and wine in the other. But when she came outside she didn’t notice my kind gesture. I wanted to slam her head into the car window, but my past teachings taught me to never hit a woman, so I kept my cool until I got into the car.
Once we got into the car, I let her have it though. I told her that she needed to pay more attention to me and that it was unacceptable. She snapped back talking about how if I did it more then it might mean something to her. As I said before, I wanted to bash her head in, show her the amount of pain and embarrassment that she just shown outside her job, but I again kept cool. I remember driving home after that was said, thinking of a way to punish her, but something inside wasn’t allowing me to think of the dark tortures. I stayed quite the rest of the way home.
She got out of the car quickly, slamming the door behind her and walking into the house. She was trying to make me mad, but I was numb to the ignorance that she was showing. I have dealt with the craziness for more than 7 years, so I let her storm up the stairs and take a shower, just like every time I make her mad. This time was different though, there was never a light turned on, not even for the room that she would usually lay her heavy jacket in before getting naked. The fear of someone attacking my love, made me nervous so I went to check on her. I got out of the car when the light came on. I got a little annoyed by the timing of her presence.
Now that I was outside of the car, what was I suppose to do? I wasn’t about to go in there and act as if I did something wrong, but I also didn’t want to stay in the cold weather. I contemplated getting back into the car, but starting the car would waste more gas than I want to. So I chose to go for a walk around the block, this would give her time to get her apology ready.
The walk was working, it was making me forget the things that just happened, but it also was making me think of worse things. The past was never easy for me or my family, my father was an abuser and my mother paid for his choices. She would be up all night waiting for him to get home from bingo, in order for him to hit her. One night she left, and I was left there with him. He lost all of his money playing that night, and was angry. I try to forget that nightmare as if it didn’t happen, but every time I close my eyes, I see his hand. His big brass hand hit my flesh multiple times that night, but that wasn’t the worse part. He tied me up and tortured me.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I am the best.

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We are all going to go through rough times, that’s life. We are all going to battle things, some things that we might keep deep in our closet, also somethings that we can’t battle alone. You have to be the definer of that, though, no one else can decide for you. If you don’t feel that you can win the battle, then it is time to reach out for someone and try to get help. What battles do you classify as “Unwinnable?” some people may ask you this. For me this would be anything that you haven’t battled in the past, but like I said, you are the only one that can decide that. But at the same time, you should never go into any battle alone.
I have been dealing with a lot lately. This is the post that I will come out and open up. I have never been good at opening up to anyone. I have always been scared of losing people because of my problems, so I would usually keep it to myself, put on a smile and hope that I don’t lose the battle. I usually pushed the people away, distancing myself from everything, then I would go into the war alone. At first I would fire all my guns at the enemy, but what happens when I lost my weapon or I ran out of ammo? This was in the moments of me getting tired. I would lower my arms from holding the gun and would try to rest. But if you know anything about war then you would know, that is when the enemy will strike. They wont wait until you are rest, that would be crazy. If they would do that, then there wouldn’t be an advantage. I could go awhile on my one tank of gas “emotion,” but that would eventually run out. This was the time in my life that the enemy would hit me. The enemy would use my doubts as their ammo. They would hit me hard, breaking every wall had built up down. They knew what my weaknesses were and they would use it against me, all the time. After they beat me down and took my barrier, they would stand over me and kick my lungs in. These are the moments that suicide became my only option, yet something always was there to save me. This could be someone reaching out, a random act of kindness or God giving me hope, whatever the situation, I always found a way out.
These were the past battles. They would come in waves. It would always hit me in the worse times, usually when I was tired or emotionally weak, usually after losing something close to me. But they always ended. It would last for about two weeks, I would get all down, then it would end. But for some reason the pain doesn’t go away anymore. Back in the day the pain would come and go, there were times it would stay a lot longer, but it always went away. These days, not so much, the thoughts and doubts cloud my mind and makes it hard for me function at times. I have tried to reach out and get some help, but its like the pain will cease for a short-bit, but then will come back stronger. Sadly, I have to say that I am going through another wave, right now.
I was talking to my cousin, at work, today. We were talking about what is on our mind. I know that during work isnt the best time to talk about emotions, but I needed to vent. That is when I dug deep inside and told him how my mind works. I realized something about myself today, I stress about everything. The way my brain works is; I will get tired, I will see more bills, I will start to think of everything going bad (Car issues to eyesight), I will think of ways to get that fixed, I will stress about my job, I will hate myself for working at McDonald’s, I wont think I’m a good worker which makes me fear that I am a failure, I will doubt that I’m a good husband, I think of my dreams and doubt my future as a writer, I will get discouraged and lose my passion, then I will get down and will start to push everyone away.
This is a rough description of how I feel. I know that everyone is dealing with their own problems, and I know that I shouldn’t be bringing my hurt to page, but I want everyone to know that you aren’t alone. There has to be someone out there that feels your pain. I want to say all this, just to tell you to not give up. There is a world out there, at times it will be scary, but nothing in life will be clear as day. You will doubt everything in life. You just have to have faith in the things you want. If you feel like you are losing ground, it is best that you get someone that has beat the battle you’re facing. These people are your best chance at survival. My biggest problem is I feel everyone has better things to do, other than help me, but that isn’t always true. God sends us people to help us out, we just have to be smart to know who is who.  

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Dear Passion,

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I really miss you. The time that we have spent together is amazing, but where did you go? Why can’t I get back to you? You left me, you chose to leave my side and go on by yourself. I don’t understand why you left my side, but I don’t want to do this by myself, anymore. We use to be so close, you use to be my sidekick, but now you are a mere stranger. I don’t like how I feel without you, please come back.
This career isn’t going to take off without you. I simply can’t keep this dream going without, so hear my cry and come back. This dream was the biggest part of my life, now it is simply something I do out of habit. You make it easy, but now it is hard. It was a few months ago, you packed your bags and decided to leave my side. You saw me on my knees, I was begging you to stay, but you got in the car and left. I watched as your car disappeared in the horizon.
I was crushed when you left. You don’t realize what you do to me, you are the reason I live. You have taught me to live life to the fullest, and to never give up on my dreams, so how could you give up on me, you are such a hypocrite. You told me to stop giving up so quickly, but that’s what you did. You saw that I was starting to get weak and you decided to take the easy road. You left me when I needed you the most, you showed me how much of a coward you are. Even if you tried to come back, I don’t even think I want you back.
The worse part is that you don’t know what you did. You think that I am fine without you, and that you are the same. But the truth is, without you I have gotten lazy. I no longer try at work, home, or in my side businesses. You make me want to sleep, all day, no longer wanting to pursue my future or my family. Don’t you get this? Do you understand that you are the reason for this? Do you even care? I bet you don’t care. I can see you now, you are sitting in a hotel room. The room is dark, there is one tv on but the lights are off. Your eyes look over at the clock, its 12, it was another day without you going outside. You are no longer lively. No, now you sit in your own hell. You attempt to break out of this hell, but you have no where to go. The directions to home have been lost, you lost the way back to me. That is why I am so mad, because I never mattered to you, anyways. The best part is that I have been looking for you. I stand outside of the door, to the hotel, I want to knock but I can. The fear of you not wanting to help me freezes my body, I can’t move. That is when the door opens. You stand in front of me. I feel a hand on my shoulder, I look up to see that you are looking at me. Tear-stained eyes look into mine as you reach out for me. Your body tugs me closely to yours, you give me a huge hug. For the first time, in months, you are finally back inside me.
Thank you for coming back, now lets get to work. We have a lot of work to do!!!!!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

There is no doubt that I will make it

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I am sitting here thinking about my future, wondering where I could go, and wondering if I will ever make it to that place. I have been doing this for about two-years (on this blog) and really I have nothing to show for it. I don’t have anyone coming up to me and telling me nice job, I am not being paid, I really don’t have anything to show for it, at this point, I am just a low-end writer that just happens to post everyday. This will not be a post about how I feel sorry for myself, this post will be about how, even at the end of the wits a true writer will stand from the ashes and raise his pen. Writers that have been down this road know it can be hard. It is a never ending battle, and the beginning is the hardest part.
I have wrote a few blogs on this topic “Never giving up.” But today is different. Today, I am not telling you guys to not give up, also not telling you guys to keep going. Today is about me, I am fighting myself. I am fighting the self doubt inside, but also reviewing my work, and coming to a conclusion to the question “Can I truly make it?” I want to be quick to say yes, but at the same time, I know that not every writer will make it, and with many writers coming up the stream, it seems that I am heading the other current without a paddle. This paddle that I am talking about is college. It is hard to find a writing job, it is even harder to find a writing job without a college degree in Creative writing, journalism, copywriting etc. This is something I don’t have, but 90% of other writers do. This means that I lie in the pool with 10% of writers that might make it. I am of 10% of writers without a degree, how do we make it? Through social media, small jobs and friends.
I am on Facebook, which was my asocial media outlet, and I haven’t been seeing any spikes in performance. Now, this doesn’t mean that my work is bad, that is not the case, the case is that my work 1. Isn’t getting to the dark side of Facebook 2. They don’t care. 3. I don’t have a strong friend list. When I say the dark side of Facebook, I am talking about those friends that are really close with you, but at the same time, they don’t really connect over Facebook. They could be busy with work, on a different social media, or they don’t like Facebook, at all. Though, these might be the reasons, there is also another possibility. They could not care. This is a strong possibility, and also probably the case most of the time. People have different taste, they want what they want and nothing else. They want a post about a flower when you are posting about a flag, and want a post about a flag when you are posting about a flower. It is impossible to reach every listener on Facebook, because trends come and go, this is why you see a momentary increase in stats, because people are into what you are writing, but as quick as you got those views, they change their interest and you are left with nothing. Then there is number 3, which I believe is my case, you don’t have a strong friend list. This is saying that your “Friends” are on your Facebook because you were close at one time, but now you guys aren’t. They still want to be friends, you know to keep up, but they don’t interact with you. If you have a Facebook full of these friends, that is why you aren’t getting the clicks. This is when you need to clear your friends list, I highly recommend this, and start from fresh. You don’t want friends that don’t speak to you taking up all your space. Your post will only reach a few, so why not make sure that few are friends that care?
With this being said, what does that show for me? I would have to say that this is all a problem for me. My blog is great, as said by strangers, so this leaves one big thing; my friends. I have never had strong friends, they all have kind of sucked, at times. But the biggest thing that might have effect on me, is the fact that I was shunned by my friends a couple years back. This blog isnt about them, though. I just know that this could have a big effect on me, since I never deleted them. With them being on my friends list, they see my post but they never look at it, causing me to lose potential views. I have always seen that my “sees” are up, but my blog stats are low. This is because of those friends, they might scroll past it, but since we don’t see eye-to-eye they will not click onto the link. This is why it is important that you clear your friends list. That way you are reaching true fans and family, ones that will care about your dreams.
With this being said, what does it look like? What are the chances of me making it? It is as good as anyone else’s. I have the talent that it takes, so now it is just getting the horse to the water, once they are there, I will let my blog drag them in. I can’t expect this to catch fire instantly, though. It takes time to grow an audience. I will have to have faith to make it, and I will have to practice a lot. This means that I need to follow more artist and less posers, I will also need to follow the rule of Stephen King, which is “To be a great writer, you must read great writing.” It takes all your heart to become someone, and a lot of time. All you can do is hope and pray that you catch a break. I have already been through the praying, now it is time to get better and get ready for my big break. Every writer has the same odds, I just have to do everything to make my odds better!  

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Making a change-
I love that my fans are starting to comment on my blog more, it means a lot to know someone is reading this blog! Recently, a fan sent me a message, telling me that my blog was how she was feeling. It meant a lot to know that my life is like others, and that we all deal with the same troubles. The troubles that we are facing is depression.
I posted a blog, titled “Help,” it was a blog asking for someone to help me deal with my depression. I was feeling down, and didn’t want to do anything. At the time, I didn’t even want to write, but I did, and I had a great response. People were messaging me, commenting, liking, and sharing my post; it was a great day for my blog, but also a great day for me, knowing that someone actually does care. But the best comment, was from a girl, and she told me that she was feeling the same way. I responded to tell her “we should start a group.” This group would be on Facebook, and would help those who don’t have anyone, but who are also dealing with depression. It would be for people to connect with others, like them.
She added me on Facebook, and we began to get to know each other, finding out small details of each other, so that when we start working together, we will have an idea of who we are working with. She is actually really cool, you couldn’t tell that she is depressed, but that’s the amazing thing, you usually can’t. People deal with depression differently, Sam and I deal with our depression the same way, though. We hide it deep down, hoping that no one tries to pry, because if they did we would have to open up, something we don’t like to do.
I have always wanted to do something like this, but never have found the will to go through with it. I saw, making a page like this, taking advantage of the situation, but now I realize, it is actually a great tool. We can use this to help, the shy and depressed, meet new friends. That right there is enough to make the page! We are excited to get this out to you guys, and we hope that you will support it, meaning sharing and liking, we really want to make a difference in the world and this is the best chance that we have! 

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

The reason I left college

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School is almost over for most seniors, which leaves them with one big decision, what would they like to do for the rest of their lives? After they figure out that question, they will then search for some colleges, either near or far from their hometown. After the decide where they want to go, they will send in an application to see if they are compatible with that certain school. After the college accepts them into their school, they will possibly move across the world to study their desired trait.
I decided on what I wanted to do when I was at church, one night. The pastor was talking about callings. At this point, I was lost on what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a writer, computer engineer, and pastor, but I didn’t know what was worth the money. I wasn’t good at math, so I knew computer engineering was at the bottom, of the list. I was comfortable with being a writer, but I didn’t know if that was my calling, but then I heard, what I thought was god, and he told me that I should be a pastor. My excitement overtook my body, and I jumped on that plan. At this time, I was also beginning a courtship with a girl, one that was going to this little Christian college, in August. She convinced me to apply at CBC (Central Bible College) and I did. A week later, I got a call while eating out with a few friends. CBC called to inform me that I had been accepted into their school. But a month later, they conjoined with another school, which raised the tuition. They also lost my entry fee. With all this going on, I decided to leave this option on the curb, and go a different way. That is when I found WRSM (World revival school of ministry.)
I didn’t want to go to a seminar, yet I applied. I don’t remember applying, honestly, but I did. I was accepted, and was on my way to Kansas City, Mo in August. The day I left home, I remember getting a mile out of town, then I heard a voice inside saying “NO!” I wasn’t sure what it was, but I marked it down as fear, and kept driving. That voice was warning me about what was about to occur.
I was happy when I got to the new home, my heart was racing, but something didn’t feel right. I figured this was from the change of location, so I fought it. But as the time went on, the feeling got worse. I wasn’t doing well at the time, I couldn’t sleep at nights, I couldn’t find a job, I wasn’t feeling the same about church, I was a mess. Then I met this guy, Craig, and we talked. I told him that I wasn’t feeling the same about this dream, and that I was thinking about leaving, after the semester was over. He wanted me to stay, saying this was a great place to be, especially if I was wanting to pursue Gods will. I felt bad for even questioning if I were suppose to be her not, I didn’t want to question Gods plan, so I decided to stay, still with no job or money.
A month before I left:
The pains of not fitting in are heavy, I haven’t met any close friends, even after being here for six months. When the church service starts, I feel empty inside, its an emptiness that I can’t fill with anything. I don’t know what to do, I don’t feel God anymore. I have prayed and prayed, but nothing is working. I am lost in self-doubt and frustration. I even started to doubt Gods existence at this point. Then there he stood, my youth pastor, at my front door step. He came down to give me a care package, but I needed more. I needed to talk to him, quickly. I needed to open up to someone, so we went out to dinner. I opened up in the middle of a empty Ihop, crying my eyes out from the heartache I had from this school. I was going to church five days a week, yet wasn’t feeling God? I knew there was something not clicking. My youth pastor told me that these were the choices: I come home, or I fight through. He told me that I had to pick the choice, that he couldn’t pick for me. He ensured that he was here for me with whatever I choose.
The answer came to me, about two weeks later. There was a big conference in town for the weekend. I was a part of the chair crew, which is a group that puts up chairs and tears them down, but this was for a church of 1000 and had to be done 2 times a day. With the conference in town, that added to the amount of work we had. During that week, I only got three hours of sleep. I remember someone coming up to me, and asking if I were okay. I smiled and told them I was doing just fine, but they saw through my lie, and asked how much I have been sleeping. With knowing, they knew, I told them the truth. They told me to go home, and get some sleep. But as they walked away, I laughed and went back to work. I would have felt guilty if I would have slacked off, since the school did give me a quarter free. I spent that semester working my butt off, just to pay them back. At the end, I wasn’t happy, though. That is when I decided to come home.
I still didn’t have any solid income. The house parents told me that I needed to get a job, quickly, or they would have to kick me out. So while they were at church, one Sunday, I decided to pack up my car and come back home. I felt a huge burden being lifted off my shoulders as I crossed back over to Illinois, I knew at this point, this was suppose to be my calling. I was called to stay in Illinois, and figure my life out. I wasn’t needed in a new land, but I needed to be somewhere I knew. My calling was to be a writer, something I could do right here in Illinois, for now.  

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

There is a lot of work to be done!

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I haven’t quite got into the routine of writing daily, even with being a month ahead on my schedule of writing. It seems that the more that I get done, the more that happens in life. I was wanting to start my novel, but then as I went to write it, something in life distracted me, and now I am only a week a head of my designated plan of writing, which is very shocking due to the fact that I spent a solid week bulk writing. This comes to show me that I can’t take breaks, as other writers shouldn’t either.
When you are a writer, that is a job itself. This means that you need to put it as a second job, averaging about 20 hours a week, half of a full-time job. If you think of it in a week, that is only 2+ hours a day. If you are a writer, you should be writing about 2 hours a day, anyways. This will keep you up to speed with your writing abilities, and will help you grow as a writer. If you don’t write daily, it will become harder for your brain to come up with ideas when you do right, also. The biggest problem with writing is coming up with the ideas, well that is for me, anyways. If I spend an hour a day writing, I see that I can sit down and write a new post even faster than the day before. Also, the message behind the post seems stronger, ever seen a weak message? That is from two-things; Either the author has no idea what they are talking about, or they haven’t been writing daily.
I saw that over my vacation, my messages came off more clear than days that I wasn’t on vacation. That is from the fact of being able to take more time during post, but also because each day I had a routine of writing. I was spending six-hours writing, each day, well besides the last four days, when I decided to play video games. But when I was writing daily, my productivity was sky high, so was my mental capacity. I saw that the more I wrote, the more I was thinking of greater ways to grow the blog, and my writing alone. The thought process that went into the blog was different than any other time. It seemed that the more I was writing, the smarter that I became. I don’t want to state that as a fact, but I saw the proof, so do quote me, if you would want to!
I am saying all of this, to tell you other promising writers to never stop writing. I want to see the next generation of writers excel more than the last. This is going to be hard, when we have to go against the greats as Stephen Kings, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, F. Scott Fitgerald, and J.K. Rowling (Though she can be considered a part of our generation, she still is older.) This is not including other greats, but to do so, I would need a whole new blog post. What I am saying, is that all of these amazing authors had one thing in common, they all write daily. They might take a vacation here and there, but most will also post numurous novels a year. I want my fellow author among the greats, but how can we do that, if we all sit with our hands in our pockets, not wanting to write because we had a rough day? We cant, we have to percivere through the trials and write! There isn’t time to willow in our self doubt, wondering if we are good enough, when we need to tell ourselves that, anyway. We are good enough to have our name in with the greats, but with the lack of interest within the current generation, you never will be. But I will be, there is a lot of work to be done, and I am willing to take the desired steps to get the job done, but who is with me.
I don’t want to take this road alone, but I will. I would love for someone to come with me, as the road gets tiring and boring, at times, but I need people that wont give up. I need those who stand out, and that want to work for something. I know, at times, the doubt will kick you, and will hold you down, but it is crucial that you get back up and fight. Writing gives you the advantage among doubt, we don’t have to have friends because we have our beloved characters to keep us sane. If it is doubt that keeps you down, remember that you among the greats, you just need to work harder to get in with them! Doubt is nothing but a lie, don’t fall for the lies.
Writing daily is crucial for those who want to be someone in the writing world. But the problem is that current writers want it giving to them. They don’t want to work for the prizes that lie behind the doors. They don’t want to run the marathon, when that is the best part, instead they want a walk in the park, with the same rewards. That has to stop. Writers! You can’t expect great things, when you do nothing to make it great! Get better, and the way to do that is begin to write daily!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude