Posts Tagged ‘abuse’

 

close up of tree against sky

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I am calling all writers, poets, song writers, novelist, bloggers, authors, or just people that love to make a difference. All of you probably know that I was abused as a kid, something that has had an effect on my life for a while, but I was able to get the help to cope. It wasn’t easy, but with the right people, I was able to get over the fear and now I am happy. Help me help kids in similar situations. Do you know someone that is being abuse, or that maybe has? Then you won’t want to miss this event!

Impromtstudios will be hosting the first annual Blog-a-Thon where we will be posting 24 posts in 24 hours as we help raise money to help those who are being abused. I don’t have much information, as of this second, but I would like to reach out to people to help. I know I can’t do this alone, but with your help this can be a success. As details come together, I will post them, here. For now, I want to know how many people would like to blog with me. If you’re interested, then send me an email! Gregbjenkins23@gmail.com

Also, if you are reading this, and you don’t write then please tell me, what would you like us to write about? With 24 posts, I don’t know how many times we can post about tacos, so tell me, what would you like us to cover? You can simply comment with ideas and wants. We will cover anything that you tell us to cover.

I beg you guys to come together, team up with me and help these kiddos. I have a charity that I want to go through, but we will keep that secret for now, since I want to announce all of that soon in a separate blog. Please share this; let’s get as many talented artists together! We can make a difference, let’s not waste our time!

Advertisements

    Imagine walking down a long, dark tunnel. This tunnel resembles your life and the choices that you have made. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The closer you get to the light, the more colder that the tunnel gets. You are freezing, but it gets worse. You are almost to the end, then it starts to pour water. You want to continue, but doubt gets to you. You don’t think that you can make it, so you stop. The light at the end of the tunnel becomes dim, then fades completely. This is what depression feels like. At first, you are strong, but then the weight of the world falls onto your shoulders. You want to carry on, but the hope is no longer driving you. You begin to feel alone and eventually you give up.

image

   350 million people are affected by depression worldwide. This is 5% of the whole world. Of the U.S.A we are looking at 16 million civilians that suffer from feeling alone or not good enough. People are likely to be depressed because of Brain chemistry, Hormones, genetics and/or personal risk factors, which include: Low self-esteem, physical or sexual abuse, diabetes or other major health factors, alcohol or drug abuse, medication side-effects, also the history of their family can play a big part in their health. Women are also more likely to suffer from depression than men are.

   Suffering from depression can really hold someone down and make their life unbearable. If the feeling of being alone isn’t enough, there are other effects that depression will cause. These effects consist of becoming angry easily, not being able to control your anger, anxiety issues, loss of interest in something that you love to do, being stuck in the past, and having suicidal thoughts. This becomes hard to live a life when you have no passion to do anything, especially the hobbies that you use to love to participate in.  With no interest in doing anything, one could only imagine what negative effects this will have on the body. There are a huge amount of additional effects that bring harm to your body, and should not be ignored.
   
   The physical effects are pretty serious and are usually easy to spot. This is why they ask you to keep an eye for these things. Insomnia, fatigue, and random aches and pains might be hard to catch, as the person might not speak up about it. But you might be able to catch these next few things easier. Weight gain/loss in a rapid form. You will be able to catch if someone is losing a lot of weight (or gaining) quickly. Increase or decrease in appetite should also be easy to catch on to. Also, they could have a hard time concentrating. If the person is big into art, but can’t find time to concentrate on art, then youmight want to talk to them. This is a pretty huge deal, because the next sign is more dangerous; cutting/self harm. You will be able to see the marks (sometimes not so easily) but this shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you ever find someone is cutting, you need to talk them into getting help, immediately.

  Being a friend to a person with depression can be hard, but God gives us help in his word. Three scriptures stood out to me today, all of them pointed to this topic. These scriptures can guide you to help those in need, or they can help you as you fight depression, yourself. The first Scripture was

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Psalms 34:17 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”

1 Peter 5: 6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

   God will never leave his people. He is always there for you, all you have to do is cry out for him. He knows that you are not strong enough to face the giants, alone, that is why he is there with you. You must first humble yourself, then you and God will be able to escape the feeling of world being on your shoulders. But, remember, as the children of God, it is also our job to go out and help those in need. We have to watch for the signs. Suicide is a huge problem, but with our kind hearts, we could change all of that! It is time for us to help those in need. It is our time to stand with those who feel alone.

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Started off low, now we here….
We all start out on the bottom, we should all at least have an idea what the struggle is. If you don’t know what that means, then I am not talking to you. This is for the kids that had to fight to live, had to find their own way. Mainly, this is for the people that didn’t have everything handed to them! There is nothing wrong with being “set,” but tonight I want to talk to my “brothers and sisters,” the same that had to grow up to early and never had nice things, unless they had their own money.
I grew up with a family that had some problems, but I always had food on my table. They might of not had stacks of money, but I always had nice clothes, and a roof over my head. The other things didn’t matter to me, because life wasn’t about that. I found happiness in what I had, but soon all of that would be taken away from me. This was the time that my mother and father split up, after years of marriage, and I was left with my mother. She got out of the house, ran to the car, and drove off. I followed, running for the entrance to our old car. I got to the car, I hear someone behind me. It was my father, he was pleading that we stayed, that we lived with him. I fell, my knee slaps the pavement, I hear my dads voice echo. He was afraid, he saw the car drag me. But as he got close to the car, my mother jumped out, throwing me back into the car, and launching a projectile towards my father. I looked back, to see him crying, as we drove away.
This was the night that changed my life, forever. This was the first night of being homeless. This was the night that left me hopeless, not knowing what was going to happen. This was the night that led to years of pain, that led to many nights crying myself to sleep. This was the night that the brainwashing started. My mother had one plan, to keep up, even if that meant destroying the image of my father. She did a very good job at it. I went many years being afraid of my father, being scared to be alone with him. I didn’t know what to believe, but I knew what to fear. My mother wanted her way, so it led me down a road of being homeless. We spent years living in Vans, campers, abandoned houses, friends cars, and a couple houses. The years of living in the apartments and houses always led to being evicted or worse. There was a time that our apartment burnt down, all of our possessions were in that house, we had nothing left, we didn’t have anything. I lost all of my clothes, toys, $40,000 of baseball cards, and more. My mother fell asleep while a candle burnt down the house. She woke up to the smell of smoke. She got out, but there was nothing left. We had to start from scratch. This wouldn’t be the first time.
We went on to live in a van, next. This is when we would go nights without eating. I was starving everyday. My mother started to write bounced checks in order to feed us, but the checks only went so far. She would get caught, and even that plan was a no go. We then moved to a camper, one that only lasted for a short while. The camper was taking back from the owners, leaving us homeless, again. My mother devised a plan to get us somewhere in life. This was to move across the state, well only a few hours, and have us start our lives again. This time the plan was solid, well until the plan started to work. The plan was great on paper, but when we started to move forward, we forgot to calculate the expenses, which came in fast. With the bills not being paid, we were forced to sleep in a dark, cold, and shower-less house. This is where I found my little kitten frozen. I never knew how hard this life could get, not until I saw a life taken from me. Over the next year, I was starved, beaten, and in academic troubles. I was released from my mothers grasp, and thrown into a messed up DCFS system.
This blog isn’t to get the harps going, nor do I want attention for my past life. I was making this to say that we might have rough walks, in life, but we can’t let those walks effect our purpose. If I would let the past keep me down, I wouldn’t be able to sit here, and talk to you guys. I started from the bottom, but now, now I am living a great life. I have great things going for me, and it was because of what my past put me through. Your past is to strengthen your future, you just have to know how to use it effectively.

image

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Back in my day, I walked up hill, and looked both ways before crossing the road. I didn’t need food, I had dirt. I didn’t need a bike, I had a scooter. I didn’t need air, I had my own breath. I you were only you knew what I went through, I bet you wouldn’t be such a brat. I grew up in a time, where you had a computer that saved things onto a floppy disc. I bet you don’t even know what a floppy disc is, no put that away, that’s not a floppy disc! A floppy disc was the old way to save things. Now you guys have “Flash Drives.” But they don’t flash? What a stupid name. And what is up with these cellular devices. Back in my day, we didn’t have touch-screens. We had big R.V. size phones with antennas. The service was great.

   Today, we all have something that we find “old.” We all have been through something, that the later generation will never be able to experience. I survived the end of the world, I have seen our country fall to her knees. I have seen stores that were famous, close. There is a new iPhone due out in a few months. Sony is working on the next PlayStation. Music is no longer on Cassettes, not like that’s a bummer. MTV is now a home for soap operas. Everything is changing, causing us 90s babies to feel old.

   I will be like the older generation and tell you guys what it was like to be young. So that one day, when I have kids, I can have them read this. The look on their face will be priceless, when they have no idea what a CD is.

   When I was a kid, we didn’t have phones. I remember getting my first phone when I was thirteen. But before phones were all that great, we did something called “play outside.” This is where you go outside and find something to play with. This could mean, playing basketball with friends, playing in mud, or finding your imagination. It meant that you stayed off the video games for a long time, and enjoyed what nature gave you. But you better not go far, because when the sun began to set, dad would be outside. He would give you two chances to come home. Trust me, dads voice is loud enough, so you cant make the excuse, you didn’t hear him. You had to race home, and get cleaned up for dinner. But here is the kick, it isnt fast food. Mom and Dad cooked you a homemade meal, which isnt negotiable, if you don’t like it, you would got to bed hungry. You didn’t want to go to bed, so you throw a tantrum; trust me, that never worked; instead of getting your way, you get your little ass whipped. Then they would shut the door, and let you cry until finally you fell asleep.

   These were the best days of my life. They were so simple and creative. I cant tell you guys how many alien invasions I saved the world from, but I did it all with a stick shaped like a gun. I called the gun “Alien zapper 3000.” This is what I did mainly everyday. I didn’t need Call of Duty to have fun, actually video games were boring compared to the outdoors.

     One day, in the far future, we will realize that we need to go back to the old ways. Those will be the day that kids actually respect adults, again. There will be so much peace! But until that day comes, we will have to deal with rumbustious children screaming throughout Walmart, over a damn candy bar. 

image

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

image

I told you guys the other day about my mom and dad getting a divorce, and how it affected me. Today, I will  be answering a question, that I thought of as I was writing that post; Would I ever get a divorce?
Ariel and I have been married for almost two-years. That is crazy, since it felt like yesterday was the big day, but two-years have collapsed behind us. These last two years have been the easiest and hardest of my whole life. The beginning of our marriage was hard, since I got us kicked out of our house, which was to happen the day after our honeymoon. I thought at that moment, we were done. She didn’t want anything to do with me, she wouldn’t talk to me, and she was having her family pick her up from work. I knew this was the right reaction to the pain and stress, I put on her, but I was scared. I was scared that I just worked so hard to win her heart, and now with one night, that was all going to end.
Me and a few guys were blamed for shooting a whole bunch of things out around our home with a BB gun. I still think that we were framed, because in the area that the windows were broke, we had never been over there. But we got blamed for ever little bit of damage, which led to an two choice; We either confess to doing it all, or we pay and get evicted. I saw the lies behind it all, either way they were going to evict us. This is when I started to look for new homes, but nothing was available, not for the money that we had.
We just got paying for a wedding, we had $600 to our name, which is nothing to the price of most homes here. When the results came back empty, my cousin put all the blame on himself, blame that wasn’t ours to take at all, and tried to hatch out a plan. He went to the front office and told them to have someone come over. Later that day, the maintenance dude came over. This is the same guy that has never liked me. He spread a rumor, saying I pushed my wife down the stairs and that I blacked her eye. It was all coming together, now. He lied to get me out of the complex. My cousin confessed to false accusations, and we still got evicted.
Now at this point, my wife called off the wedding, she blamed me for everything. I took the blame, and accepted the punishment. Then we sat down and talked; I told her my side of the story, and told her who came over to tell us. She saw what I saw, and chose to put the wedding back on. She was still mad, but she knew that we would get over this together. The day before our honeymoon, we moved into our new home. The first year, we fought a lot due to where we moved into, but we grew out of the anger as we grew together.
The second year was the easiest so far. We haven’t been fighting as much. We learned the art of compromising, which is why we fought so much in the beginning. We both work great jobs, and we are never behind on bills. We have learned to communicate without fighting, which is a big plus. We still have our dumb fights, but we never let them get too crazy. I have been a year sober of punching holes into doors, which is also a big plus. We are at our happiest together, something that can only get better as the years go on.
To answer the question, No, I would never get a divorce. There are times that you are angry, and you wish that you never said those vows, but one good time together erases all the bad. Ariel is one of the only people that understand who I am, she understands my wants, needs, jokes, and can stand my hideous laugh. If she wasn’t in my life, I would be a living hell. She keeps me motivated to do my writing, and to love hard everyday. She accepts the fact that sometimes I am depressed and want to sleep, and there she is cuddling next to me….I would never want to divorce someone like Ariel. She is my rock!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

I was a catfish back in the day.

image

I was 11 years old when I began my career as a catfish. I use to spend nights on Yahoo games, shooting pool with people I didn’t know. There is a chat room that is connected to the game, so that’s where I would pick up my chicks. The conversation would start in a friendly game of pool, and end up in Yahoo messenger. I met some amazing people with this tactic, but also hurt a lot of people with my lies.

I would see a picture of an older girl, and would know that she wouldn’t talk to a eleven-year-old. So I would lie to the girl in order for her to talk to me. I would get a picture off of the internet, of a jock with sexy abs and big muscles, and it would work. The girl would buy it, and would spill her heart out to me, thinking that I was someone I was not.

I tallied up about thirty girls in the summer. Each night was the same, I would wait for everyone to go to bed, then I would sign on and try to get girls to talk to me, while keeping the contacts from former nights. Each night I would meet a new girl and we would stay up all night talking. I would feel so cool when the girl would tell me that I was the guy she was looking for. I was getting four-six of these messages a night. I was making all these girls fall for someone that didn’t exist.

I was chatting with a few girls, one day, when one of the girls broke down. She was being abused and told me that she wanted to leave. She was begging for me to help her, to come and get her out of the situation. I told her that my car was broke down, and that I would have find a way, which was a lie. I didn’t have any intention of helping her, but this was the game, to get every girl to fall for me. Little did I know, this was a serious life, and that this could of led to her being hurt. That was the last time that I talked to her. Someday, I think about her, and will beat myself up. I could have helped her, only if I was honest.

When I couldn’t get a hold of her, I started to wake up to the consequences of my actions. My actions possibly hurt this girl, and if she died it was my fault. I thought about all of the girls that I was talking to, and for the first time, I saw it differently. I actually saw the girls for who they were, it wasn’t about a number now. I was tired of lying, and I knew what I needed to do.

I got on my messenger and messaged every girl that was online, each message was written for the specific girl. I told each of them the truth. I told them my real age, and how I lied to get noticed. The majority of the girls were mad, which was understandable, they would then block me. But something happened that day, something that made me feel good about my decision. One of the girls responded, and told me that she was also lying about her age.

I was shocked when I opened the message, to see that other people were out there, doing the same thing as me. I began to talk to her about why she was doing it, she told me that she was feeling alone, and that no one ever notices her. She was 15, but told people she was 21. I told her about why I wanted to tell the truth. She responded very well to the story, and expressed how amazing it was that I told the truth, but that didn’t help how I felt. I still lied to the girl that needed help. But she had an answer for that also, she said:

“I know what you did was wrong, and you shouldn’t of did it, but people make dumb choices. The only thing that you can do is not do it again. You know the consequences of your actions, and now you get to make the decision. You can now go on with your life, and make the world a better place. It is better that you figured out this now, than later. All will be okay, just pray she’s okay.”

I ended that conversation after three hours of talking. We ended up becoming good friends through messenger, sometimes I wish I could go back and talk to her, but she deleted the account. I like to think that was a way to get me to stop catfishing girls, and it did. The girl opened my eyes to see, this was going to be a lesson. From that day, I have never lied about my age again, I know there is way to much at stake.

Remember, every action you make has a ripple effect. You might not see it, but that doesn’t mean no one was effected. So if you find yourself lying to get ahead in life, remember that someone will be effected, and one day it will catch up with you. Is it worth the pain, you cause others?

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude