Archive for the ‘Creative Blogging’ Category

The End is here

Today before I begin this post, I want to break something to you. I want to bring you guys the best material that I possibly can. The stuff you love, and post that will bring you happiness. Recently, I have been watching the views for this segment suffer horribly.

I don’t want to bug you guys with these posts, if you wouldn’t like to see them. I want to let you guys know that there will be a replacement for Creative blogging though, being introduced next week.

Night Crawler Journals will continue to be posted every Thursday! Thanks for even getting me this far, I hope this success continues and that the new segment does well for you guys! Thank you again!

Quitting that sport!

Dear Mrs. Anderson,

I got your email the other day regarding your son quitting basketball. You asked why he quit; I have your son’s reason.

He came into my office Tuesday with tears in his eyes. I asked him what had him down. He told me that his girlfriend wanted him to quit. He was against it, he wanted to finish out the season, but she insisted that he didn’t.

He continued to tell me more. He said that he was going to be adding something precious to his life, and his relationship.

Mam, I wanted him to tell you but he pleaded for me to tell you. I would rather not tell you, but I will since you approached me; your son is going to be getting married soon.

Now I know he is only twelve but he loves that girl, and I think it’s a good reason to give up on his dreams.

He said that wasn’t the only reason though; this time it was more personal. He sat down at my desk, pulled off his bald cap, and revealed that you have held in the biggest secret.

He is quitting basketball, because he is a girl.

Thank you for your time!

Coach! P.s. Your daughter is dating a girl!

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Blogger with lack of concentr-whats that?

Hello guys, welcome back. Recently I went to; oh crap I need to do my laundry! What am I going to do about that? Could I just throw them in; oh and I have to blog today, hold up isn’t that what I’m doing?

Oh Yeah, Sorry guys lately i haven’t been able to concentrate, it must be in the weather, oh talking about the weather, I have to get a garden hose. I think I might run to the store to pick up pop tarts.

Maybe I will pick up some trail mix, or maybe I could go to the gym. I have wanted to go to the gym….but I am lazy, I need to exercise, and I’ll need to also finish that blog today.

Oh my, I am so sorry, I really need to tell you about my weekend, and didn’t my boss tell me I needed to finish that one assignment? I wish he could get off my back; I work hard enough to fill everyone’s payroll. I’ll be back; I am going to tune my guitar for my date tonight.

Back! Thank you guys for being patient, my six string guitar had a broken high E string. That took forever to fix, I even poked my finger with the string!!! It f********* hurt. Pardon my language.

I want to tell you about my weekend, see I did the impossible. I went to the Bahamas, as I was getting out of the water, something scary happened. I was walking back up to my car after swimming and I saw this lady, she had a gun, she shot the goose! She shot her good, I asked for the meat. She laughed at my clown. I cried with my unicorn.

Thank you for sticking with me!!

funny-squirrel-body-builder

I feel someone is behind me, watching my every step! I look back to see this man following very closely, I start to get very scared. I start to walk faster, but with my gain of speed I also realize his speed gets faster! I begin to run as I feel like he is about to strike!

I run into this man on the side of the street that happens to be asleep, I hurry to him and wake him up.

“I once had a dream, that all men would be created divided!” He spoke out in his best impersonation of Martin lurther king jr. a little more freaked out I started to run again, faster this time. I wanted to actually get someone who isn’t completely crazy, but that doesn’t seem possible.

I wrap myself another wall, to find a group of protestors. I was once a part of a protest group, they kicked me out because of my beliefs. I believed that all animals deserved a home, probably wasn’t good for a group of anti-animal protestors! They fought hard to keep all animals in pounds, to not let people have pets!

In order to get help, I ran up to the leader. “Hello my name is Hailey” I greeted myself not giving time for him to answer “I need help.” He looked at me, “Me too!” ignoring the fact that I am breathless, he began to tell me the only reason he protests is to gain money to find out his ancient family secret!

In the time that he told me all about his plans, I noticed that the chaser had made his way back to me. I began to run again trying to breath. I knew I couldn’t outrun him much longer, so I stopped. He came up to me. I clinched my arm hoping he wouldn’t hurt me, He ran right past me to a woman in front of me. He then gave her a hug!

I am sitting there, at the bank trying to get my check cashed. I will admit I’m not in the best of moods. My boss is a major jerk, he only thinks about the outcome of his employees action, though he is the one that is dragging this company into the ground. Does he care? possibly not. He only cares if he is getting paid, which he is! He is getting paid triple what we make for doing nothing, but griping and demoting his best employee.

Yes I am that guy!

He demoted me today, from Assistant manager to a machine operator! I use to actually call in truck to order metals, now I am the slave that puts the metal on the line!

He had no reason to demote me, well his reason was that was caught sneaking breaks and not coming back to work on time! I have never actually left for my lunch. Its nearly impossible since I have taking the bus for the last 15 years that I worked there.

“Next” Finally its my time to cash my low check and get back to my bachelor pack, where I will sit on my couch with a bag of chips and a few open cans of soda. At the end of the night I will look at myself in the mirror and cry, but I will a year older tomorrow so I guess that’s a plus?

“I need to cash this piece of trash” I snapped. The teller lifted her eye brows, “Sir, are you okay?” Deep inside I wanted to scream how I actually felt, but that would cause more problems and get my butt sent to the “house” since I was there last week, I will pass on going back! “Yes, sorry just a bad day, couldn’t get much worse!” Well I thought

“Get Down Now!!!” Three bullets left a hand gun and ended in the ceiling. “I will kill anyone who moves” I dropped to the ground which most did, especially the tellers, its like the knew that the robber was coming in.

“Screw you” A young man said as he ran towards the door. BAM!!! He flopped to the ground after being shot in the head. “Any one else want to try to be a hero?” No one replied.

The tall African American came over to me, “Get up, dirtbag!” I laughed like an idiot. He got mad, and hit me. He shouldn’t of done that!

A left hook to the eye brow caught him off guard. My strongest hit couldn’t knock him back though, I knew I was in trouble.

He quickly took a shot to my gut with his fist, leaving me without air to breathe. I fell to the ground holding my gut. He got on top of me and began to punch me harder and harder. My eyesight got darker and darker, I felt blood gushing out of my eyes, if someone didn’t help I would be dead in seconds; I guaranteed.

The robber took his hands and placed them on my neck. I could feel my life being sucked out of my frame. My soul had finally left my body. My eyesight went black, but I saw a light. It was beautiful, my grandma was standing there with open arms.

She told me to hold on and to live again, as she spoke those words I heard something. It sounded like a bomb had went off.

I lifted up my eyes, though I couldn’t see much, I knew I was back in the bank.

The robber had been shot in the head by a brave young woman.

Instead of helping me up though, she laughed saying “Daddy said your fired” Bam. The last thing I saw was a flash.