Urban Sarcasm.

Posted: August 16, 2016 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I haven’t wrote a funny post in a long time!
Am I loosing my touch? I don’t want to stop my funny bone, but I’m just not funny, anymore. My blog is going to suffer from my “Lack of funniess” stupidity. This blog was found on the fact that I posted stupid, yet funny, material. What can I do? Lets read!
I have too awesome books, that could help with this project. Let me see if I can get a good post from this, though! I will be using “New Edition Urban Dictionary” compiled by Aaron Peckman (Creator of Urbandicitionary.com, one of the funniest websites, ever!) and “The official Dictionary of sarcasm” by James Napoli (Executive vice President of the National Sarcasm Society.) These simple tools should help me come up with some funny material. Mainly, I will go through a few pages and pick out some funny definitions. I think I will stop after 5 of each. If you want more, let me know.

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Advice- The only thing in the world more unwelcome than a baby in a movie theater.

Charity- Something you can swear your significant other continues to sleep with you out of.

Monopoly- A board game that allows gamily members the thrill of screwing each other over financially

Prostitute- The only profession besides Roller-skating Burger-joint waitress that involves repeatedly leaning into car windows to get things going.

Wife- A woman who, one way or another, is going to end up wearing the pants.

Cactus legs- The feeling on a woman’s legs after not having shaved.

Ex-hole- Your asshole ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, or just plain ex. A person you use to be with but you can’t stand now.

Curb Shame- Embarrassment at waiting on the curb obediently as other pedestrians ignore the “Don’t walk” signal in the absence of traffic.

Flavorgasm- Involuntary moan you let out when eating food that is so good. Usually happens on the first bite.

Karaoke- A once-in-a-lifetime chance for lonely, untalented people to be even more sad and pitiable than they are in everyday life.

I hope you guys find some humor from these words! I know some aren’t as funny, but you try going through 700 pages, looking for 10 words. In all seriousness though, I really hope you enjoyed this…..

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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