If I’m being serious. (Sorry to the fans…..)

Posted: July 14, 2016 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If I can be serious…

    There has been a lot of confusion in my life, lately. I am lost in my own dreams, and I don’t know what to do to get back. I haven’t been myself lately, many probably can tell. I don’t want to write as I use to. I don’t want to write, at all. I don’t have my heart in any of my recent post, also I can’t keep motivated to finish any of my blogs. I am tired of always trying to come up with great ideas, but also I am tired. I am tired of trying to explain myself, and making myself feel like I have a reason to feel the way I do. I don’t want to explain myself, but I feel like I need to. I know that you guys are there for me, but at the same time, who are you to be there for me. It isnt your job to hold my hand, during my troubles. I do appreciate it, but I know you don’t have to. But let me try to explain myself to you guys, and then I will end this blog.

     This journey is hard, it is an uphill battle. Writing was something that use to be a pure hobby for me, but somewhere in the middle, I made it my passion, not knowing what that was going to bring. I didn’t know that stress would come along with chasing a dream. But the stress is real, and it is something that I deal with every night of my life. Along with my work, I come home and want to give you guys my best. Some nights I find that it is super easy to write to you guys, but nights like last night come up, and writing is something that I don’t want to do, but I want to keep this streak going. I promised my friends and fans that I would post, everyday, and that is something that I don’t want to stop anytime soon. But with work being exxtra stressful, I have been super tired, every night, and since I don’t prewrite blogs anymore,  I find myself writing the post at 8pm, when it needed to be done by 7:30, so I rush, and when I rush,  I find that my blog isnt up to par; but in order to meet the deadline, I have to settle, then I stay up late, worrying that you guys are going to hate me. The next day is worse, because the stats are in.

When the numbers are up, I am happy, but when the stats are low, I start to get down on myself. Recently, the numbers have been steadily growing, causing much happiness. But that also is the worse part. I hate that when I am unable to put my heart into my work, that is when everyone wants to come to my blog. It sickens me, because that is the first impression that people get, and it isn’t a good one. It is like some girl, that you like, seeing you naked in the freezing cold. You know that you carry the pistol, but the winter breeze has caused it to turn into a shaggy bullet. Though that analogy was horrible, I hope you get the idea. I haven’t been producing the best material, so how can I expect anyone to get behind me? I surely wouldn’t want to, not after that horrible “Flash back to the past” post. I didn’t even know what I was saying during that post, but I know that it wasn’t suppose to go up that quick. That was a post that I was going to work on, then post it later this week, but I didn’t want to write, so I posted that piece of trash. I am sorry that you had to read that….

So, now you know that I have been having a horrible time, recently. But the worse part is what I have been promising. (Be prepared to hate me.) There is this great man. I know him from a prayer night, that we both attended, in the past. He is a great artist, and recently just signed a record deal. But before the flowers bloomed in his garden, this tiller came to me. He asked me to help water his ground, by promoting his work around town. I gave him a promise to get the interview ready, which I did, but after receiving the email, I told him that I would have the post up in three days. That was a week ago, and I still haven’t finished the post. I feel like complete shit, from the fact that I haven’t done anything with this post. I am usually really great with getting things done, and finishing them in a timely fashion. So, Kastle Li, if you are reading this. I am truly sorry. I shouldn’t keep you waiting, but I give you my word, that I am trying to get these things under control, and that I will have your post done, very soon. I am working on it, I just lost sight of myself. I know your not mad, but I am. I am very mad at myself.

I didn’t know that this would be the case. I didn’t know that my dream would become so stressful. I thought that all I needed was my great ability, but it is much more. It takes the patience’s of a saint, the heart of gold, and the will of God. I still have a huge road to drive down, in order to get where I need to be. But that’s the best part. The dream wouldn’t be worth living if it was easy. I would love to hear from you, tell me what I should write about!

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                        Real fast:

I want to thank someone very special to me. She has been a great fan, since she started following my blog. Her name is Angelica, and she is the sweetest fan, ever. Every time I post something, she is liking it, and commenting nice words. She is a great person, and I want to give her a quick shoutout. I love you, Angelica.  I hope you enjoy the future at Impromtstudios! Also, thanks to everyone else that likes my post, you guys are amazing. I hope to connect with you guys more, in the future!!!!!!! Thanks for your time!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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Comments
  1. Dude, you say you haven’t been putting your all into your posts and I most definitely understand where you’re coming from. It’s one of the reasons I started my daily post, “The Life of An Aspiring Writer.” But think of it like this, at least you are showing up. While you might not feel like your content is your best work and while you may be disappointed in yourself for not meeting deadlines, you are staying as consistent as you can and showing up regularly is a part of the process to becoming a great writer! Of course this is all just my opinion and who am I but an aspiring writer? I’m pretty sure every writer goes through what you are going through and I’m also sure that you will find a system of scheduling some time for your writing that is convenient for you. The important thing is that you don’t give up, no matter how far behind you get.

    • ImpromtDude says:

      Yeah, it’s been a rough couple weeks. But the awesome part is that I still feel horrible for not writing. You’re right though, I just need a new schedule. You are more than just an aspiring writer. Don’t put yourself down 🙂 I won’t give up, either. Thanks for your amazingly kind words!

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