I’m so sick….

Posted: June 8, 2016 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I am tired and worn out. My body is screaming at me to stop, to stop treating it like nothing is wrong. I know it is tired, and wants a slight break, but I can’t give that to him. I can’t sit around while things float through my head. Thoughts of what is happening in life, ideas of what needs to happen, and fears of what may never happen. It is all too much, and it is starting to weigh heavily on my body, and on my mind.

Never, in my three years of working, have I ever screwed up as many orders, as I have in the last week. I just can’t concentrate, right now. Even with all my strength, I seem to be able to concentrate enough to not stutter. Luckily none of the customers are getting mad, but I am getting mad at myself. I can’t stand the fact that I am unable to do my job, at 100%. I take great pride in my job. But with all the stuff that’s going on, I have only been able to put in 50% or less, while doing my job.

I haven’t been writing, at all. It isn’t even the fact that I don’t want to, it’s more the fact that I look down, it’s 3p.m., then I look up and it’s 7p.m. My whole schedule is messed up. I have been deep cleaning my house, trying to keep it clean (for various reasons,) but then I realize it’s almost time for sleep. It’s at bedtime, that I realize, I forgot to write a post. And since I never want to let you guys down. I will get out of my bed and write a quick post. This way I can give you guys material to read, but then I feel guilty, because I feel like I am ripping you guys off.

I am writing this to bring my people together. I need your support through this. I don’t know what is wrong, but I know it’s holding me back. I want to go far, but I can’t with this kind of routine. I can’t expect to make great material. When I am forcing material. I don’t want to force material anymore, though. The thing that has brought me this far is, I always put my heart into my work. If I fail to do that, now, I might as well quit and go back to not writing. So I need you guys to do, what you do. I need either a prayer, or a quick “we got you.” Anything to know that you guys are still there, and that you haven’t bailed on me. I promise to keep going, but I need help, fast!




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