Walking a dark road…..thoughts on struggling.

Posted: June 6, 2016 in Uncategorized
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Started off low, now we here….
We all start out on the bottom, we should all at least have an idea what the struggle is. If you don’t know what that means, then I am not talking to you. This is for the kids that had to fight to live, had to find their own way. Mainly, this is for the people that didn’t have everything handed to them! There is nothing wrong with being “set,” but tonight I want to talk to my “brothers and sisters,” the same that had to grow up to early and never had nice things, unless they had their own money.
I grew up with a family that had some problems, but I always had food on my table. They might of not had stacks of money, but I always had nice clothes, and a roof over my head. The other things didn’t matter to me, because life wasn’t about that. I found happiness in what I had, but soon all of that would be taken away from me. This was the time that my mother and father split up, after years of marriage, and I was left with my mother. She got out of the house, ran to the car, and drove off. I followed, running for the entrance to our old car. I got to the car, I hear someone behind me. It was my father, he was pleading that we stayed, that we lived with him. I fell, my knee slaps the pavement, I hear my dads voice echo. He was afraid, he saw the car drag me. But as he got close to the car, my mother jumped out, throwing me back into the car, and launching a projectile towards my father. I looked back, to see him crying, as we drove away.
This was the night that changed my life, forever. This was the first night of being homeless. This was the night that left me hopeless, not knowing what was going to happen. This was the night that led to years of pain, that led to many nights crying myself to sleep. This was the night that the brainwashing started. My mother had one plan, to keep up, even if that meant destroying the image of my father. She did a very good job at it. I went many years being afraid of my father, being scared to be alone with him. I didn’t know what to believe, but I knew what to fear. My mother wanted her way, so it led me down a road of being homeless. We spent years living in Vans, campers, abandoned houses, friends cars, and a couple houses. The years of living in the apartments and houses always led to being evicted or worse. There was a time that our apartment burnt down, all of our possessions were in that house, we had nothing left, we didn’t have anything. I lost all of my clothes, toys, $40,000 of baseball cards, and more. My mother fell asleep while a candle burnt down the house. She woke up to the smell of smoke. She got out, but there was nothing left. We had to start from scratch. This wouldn’t be the first time.
We went on to live in a van, next. This is when we would go nights without eating. I was starving everyday. My mother started to write bounced checks in order to feed us, but the checks only went so far. She would get caught, and even that plan was a no go. We then moved to a camper, one that only lasted for a short while. The camper was taking back from the owners, leaving us homeless, again. My mother devised a plan to get us somewhere in life. This was to move across the state, well only a few hours, and have us start our lives again. This time the plan was solid, well until the plan started to work. The plan was great on paper, but when we started to move forward, we forgot to calculate the expenses, which came in fast. With the bills not being paid, we were forced to sleep in a dark, cold, and shower-less house. This is where I found my little kitten frozen. I never knew how hard this life could get, not until I saw a life taken from me. Over the next year, I was starved, beaten, and in academic troubles. I was released from my mothers grasp, and thrown into a messed up DCFS system.
This blog isn’t to get the harps going, nor do I want attention for my past life. I was making this to say that we might have rough walks, in life, but we can’t let those walks effect our purpose. If I would let the past keep me down, I wouldn’t be able to sit here, and talk to you guys. I started from the bottom, but now, now I am living a great life. I have great things going for me, and it was because of what my past put me through. Your past is to strengthen your future, you just have to know how to use it effectively.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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