Vodka is a bitch.


    It was a week before my wedding, and my cousins wanted to drink, along with a night of call of duty. I was ready for this night, I was always horrible at call of duty, but I was confident that I would be able to win at least a round off my brother-in-law. He is a goober and usually sucked when he was facing me. There was just a different level set when it came to him and me. I was just better at the first person shooters, where he was usually better at Mortal Kombat. I was ready to show him up, and get some laughs while we were at it.
As we set up the match, I was a cocky prick, and chose to go with a default sniping class on BO2. Little did I know, I was going to have a rough time with the DSR-50. This was the first time playing BO2 on the PS3, which is a lot different than the Xbox 360, but I tried my hardest. But as the match got to the end, I realized that my sniping ability was inferior to his. He was dropping me in one shot, where I needed two or three. I got mad at the fact that he was better than me, since times before he would suck against me. He had improved over the months of not being at his cousins house. He was now someone I couldn’t beat. The laughter and ooohhhss were pissing me off, so I grabbed a glass of UV Blue and chugged it. This was my first hard drink, ever. I cringed at the taste, but didn’t feel anything else. As the match went on so didn’t the amount of shots. It seemed that every time I would die, I would take a shot. But as the match came to an end, I noticed that I had began shooting Gin and Patron. My head was beginning to get a little heavy.
The idea of going outside seemed to be a great one. That is what we did, we went outside. This was at the point that I had at least 6 shots (mixed) in me, I was feeling amazing. I was slightly dizzy, but that added to the fun, which is when I broke out our BB gun. I ran to the other side of our yard and lifted a can up. I told the guys to shoot the can out of my hand, but as each one shot, a BB went through the can and hit my finger. I dropped the can and grasped my finger, there was luckily no blood, but my finger was black and blue. Instead of quitting, though, I told them to hold on. This is when I went inside and took four shots, each being a mix of Gin/Patron/UV. I felt the alcohol beginning to take over, which meant even more fun. But as they saw that I was getting a little tispy, we moved the party back indoors, and back into the living room.
I didn’t stop drink, though. I was still piling shots back. Each one was leaving more of an effect on me. Then out of no where, I got super dizzy. Little did I know that Gin was a “Silent killer” which takes longer to get you drunk, so what I thought was just weak was actually just taking slower to get me messed up. This wasn’t good, since I just spent the last hour drinking nothing but gin…. Soon I would be gone, and the new Blake would be out. That is exactly what happened. I got wasted. As I got drunk, I called two people; My co-worker, Darryl, and McDonalds.
   In the voicemail to my co-worker, I told him that I loved him and wish he was my wife. That was the joke around the workplace for months after. But in my call to McDonalds, I asked if they were able to deliver some more Gin to my house. The lady asked if I were drunk, which led to some foul language which wont be repeated. After getting off the phone, I got up and walked into the kitchen, I pulled down my pants and took a piss in a bowl. After taking a piss, I got a bottle of water and opened it. But instead of taking a drink, I poured it on top of my head and slipped. I fell backwards into the refrigerator and bashed my head off of the door.
   My pants became strangely warm, as I just pissed myself again. This was the last little bit that I remember, besides going upstairs. My cousin went and got my wife to come get me, she came downstairs and grabbed my arm. They both walked me up the stairs and into my room. I was placed in my bed, but as I laid their, I needed to pee, yet again. They said okay, but as they got close, I upchucked all over the bed. I blacked out after that, and ended up in the hallway, the next morning, naked. I was told that they gave me a shower. The whole time, I was accusing them of sleeping together, but also I ended up being on my puppy. Poor puppy.
Since that night, I haven’t been able to drink anything hard. If I do, I get super gaggy and almost throw up, instantly. I have found that to get over this, all you have to do is add less mixture to hard drinks at a time, so I will try this. But even with the outcome being so sticky and nasty, I had a lot of fun. This wasn’t adding the fact that I had to work at 8, the next morning. 

Impromtdude @


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