Divorce ruins families

Posted: March 23, 2016 in Uncategorized
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Have you ever been a part of a divorce? That doesn’t mean that you have had one. This is for those who were children when their parents split, mothers of daughters that got divorced, or even fathers of sons. If you were around someone that got divorced, or you got a divorce, this is for you.
My father and mother got a divorce when I was only seven-years-old. At seven, I had no idea what was going on. I figured that we were just moving to another place, and my father would be meeting up soon enough. That was never the case, though. My sister and me were forced , by my mother, to go to the court hearings. She told us that it was needed for the judge to make the decision. I was lost on what decision the judge had to make, and why I had to tell the judge “mommy not dad.” I didn’t understand then what I know now.
I didn’t know that those simple words were forcing my dad out of my life. I had no idea the weight that the choice had. I felt bad inside for saying “mommy over dad”, which is why I never did. Every time she told me to say it, I would “zip my mouth.” Her anger would spike every time I refused. It seemed that my mother needed me to say those words. Every time that I would refuse, she would tell me something my dad did to her, which later I learned were lies, but at the time I would believe it. I began to hate my dad. This is what she wanted and needed. She needed me to get to the point that I hated hearing “dad” so that I would say “I don’t love dad” or something to show the judge that I wanted to stay with my mom.
I never did say those words, though. No matter what she told me, or what scar she showed me. I never told her that I hated my dad. The most that ever would happen, was I use to hide in a closet when my dad came to pick me up, for his weekend. I hid in the closet out of fear. My mother told me that he was dangerous, and shouldn’t be trust. I believed her, so I would hide as she told him that I was at a friends. She couldn’t get me to say that I hated him, so to have me fear him was her next option. This was right before she kidnapped us.
She didn’t tell anyone where we were going. We disappeared into thin air, and never came back. We ended up in a town an hour and a half from my home town. My dad was lost to where we went, he continued to search, though. As he searched, we were now living a brand new life. She would never mention our dad, unless we brought him up, which she would just bash him. I remember at one time she told us that he was dead, and that was the reason for the move. My heart broke when I heard that he died, because I still loved him. I never formed any hate towards him, how could I? He would always be my dad. I accepted the fact that he was dead, though.
Then one night, he showed back up to our house. I have no idea how he found us, but he did. He stood next to his black car, waiting for my to come out. I saw that it was my dad, and raced for the door. She gave me a quick yank, and threw me to the ground. She then told my sister and me to go to our room. I screamed. I wanted to see my dad, but as I let out the scream, her hand connected to my mouth. At that moment, my sister carried me to the bedroom. I heard shouting outside, as tears flowed from my eyes, I began to pray that one day my dad could get custody of us. He did in the summer of 2005, and that is when the story ended. My mother was  no longer around, she couldn’t face the fact that she relinquished us to foster care, and left. My dad found us again and got us out, though.
It took many years to not fear my dad, which was never a violent man. She brainwashed us so deeply that it took years to get over the false memories, ones that she put in our heads.
     I wanted to write this to show those going through a divorce, what pain can be caused when you tell your family lies. In this certain circumstance, my mom lied about who my dad was. I was deprived from knowing my dad for majority of my life. But the scariest thing is, if I would have listened to her lies in the beginning, I would have been forced to never see my dad. She would have won full custody, then would have gotten a restraining order on him. He would never be able to see us.
     If you are going through a divorce, you don’t have to have everyone hate the other person. You don’t need to tell them stories, especially never brainwash them to hate them all because of what happened in the past. That will cause unneeded pain, that could also cause children to miss out on their parents. 

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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