It was time for me to stop fearing, because it wasn’t something to fear about, this was going to shake my life for the good, nothing bad was going to come from this. I felt something pull on my heart telling me everything was going to be fine. Even though at first, I didn’t believe that, as I stood in the middle of the empty highway, I began to feel safe again.

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   I am sleepy, but I know I need to get up from the mattress, get dressed, and head down to my ride. They will be leaving in 15-minutes, and today is one day that I can’t miss. My dad has yelled at me three times, to get up, but something doesn’t want me to go.
   My head is heavy, even though I went to bed early the night before. I think it might be a nervous feeling, I mean today is the day that my life changes. I have been waiting for this day, my whole life, well since I gave up on pleasing myself, to please someone else. It has been two weeks since that night at the loft, and I still feel the energy that I did that night. The night that changed, how I felt about religious beliefs and church. Today is the day that I go down a sinner and come up saved by grace. I got out of the sheets that tangled my legs and went to the bathroom. My hair was a mess, my eyes were puffy, and my armpits were on fire. I didn’t have the time to mess with that though, I should have woke up and took a shower, but that wasn’t the plan, the plan was that everything would have worked itself out, but it didn’t. I quickly wet my hair, brushed my teeth, and threw on a nice shirt, that was acceptable for church. I walked into my room and grabbed the bag, full of more clothes, for after the service.
   I walked out of the house with a little less than 5-minutes before departure, all to remember that I forgot deodorant. I sniffed my armpits, that were still ripe from late night basketball, and almost died. This is one thing that I needed to take care of, so I told my dad to go down and tell them I will be there, and not to leave. He told me to hurry up, which I did. I ran inside grabbed, what I could find, and left. I made great timing, everyone was boarding the two cars when I arrived. When I got there, the teens greeted me, like I was finally one of them, something I never felt like before. I got in the truck, after throwing my bag in the bed, and put my headphones in.
The whole ride there, I was thinking about the decision I was making today. This means that I could no longer do what everyone else does, I replayed in my head as I looked out of the window. I knew that It was the right decision, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to do it. I didn’t want to be different from everyone else, but at the same time, I still wasn’t. I was never one of the guys, or a popular guy, so what did I have to lose? I was about to gain a new level of happiness that was promised to me. I knew it was worth the looks I would get, to live for something with purpose for once, to do something for me for once. I thought I believed that, but the closer we got, the more I wanted to jump out of the car. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to take the step, it was the questions on what would I do after? Do I go back to the old Blake, what was the new Blake even-like?
    I feared that I was jumping the gun, and I was about to fall flat on my face! But even if I wanted to back out, it was too late to. I was already at the church, well before time, which is great, now I have even more time to fear the worse. Everyone got out of the truck, and went into the building, except for me. I decided to stay outside for a while, and talk to God.
The morning due was still on the grass. The wet grass caused my shoes to get wet, and then my socks got soaked. Of course, I figured this was a sign from God, telling me not to go through with the plan. I was okay with not going through with the plan, but when I was about to pull the plug, something inside stopped me. It was time for me to stop fearing, because it wasn’t something to fear about, this was going to shake my life for the good, nothing bad was going to come from this. I felt something pull on my heart telling me everything was going to be fine. Even though at first, I didn’t believe that, as I stood in the middle of the empty highway, I began to feel safe again.
    I started to get the feeling that I had the first night, the night that I said “yes” to follow something bigger than me. So as I stood in the middle of that empty highway, with damp socks and a freeing body, I chose to stop worrying about what would be said at school. The people would either expect it, or they wouldn’t. Their opinions never meant much to me anyways. This choice is my choice, and I chose to do it, and that was final. I sat back down on the church steps, and prayed, one-last-time before the service began.
   The wind began to pick up, sending a unsettle chill through  my feet. I finished the prayer, and walked inside to find a pew in the middle of the sanctuary. I usually would sit with the rest of the teens, but today I wanted to focus on getting ready for the service, so I forced myself to sit away from them.
   The pastor finished his sermon, which rocked my mindset. I can’t remember what it was about, I just remember that I was bawling my eyes out, knowing that I needed the message. I got up from the pew, and got some prayer. But that wasn’t the end of that service, oh no, the best was about to happen. I got up off my knees, and went back to the front row pew, to hear the pastor introduce six young people to the stage, myself included.
    I wiped my tears from my eye socket, and walked to the front. I stared out into the crowd, their faces were shining as bright as the sun. The were happy with our commitment that we were about to make, some were even crying. I was guessing the ones that were crying, were family members of the other five, up here. I simply gave a half-grin and turned towards the pastor as he spoke; “We are gathered in unity to bless these young men, as they chose to give their old-self up to follow, our Lord. We now get to witness them being reborn, in the ceremony of baptisms. We are overjoyed that we get to share with you guys.”
   We were then instructed to go get dressed in the clothes we brought, which included my black shirt with gym shorts. I was last in line, I got to witness 5 go before me, and come up a new man. There was one man that raised through the water, like a cannon, he shot through the water, screaming “Hallelujah.” I began to get nervous, thinking about what I should say. I quickly rejected that thought, and gave it up to God.
   It was my turn. I walked up to the giant tub of water, looked into it. I had one last time to turn around, and walk away. But I said no, and got into the water. The pastor had me repeat the words that he said, which I did. Then he pushed my head back into the water. The water was warm, but that wasn’t what I felt. When I was submerged into the water, my heart dropped. The water was electric, it sent shocks through my body, ones that I only felt during the youth rally. I knew at this moment, there was something in the water, with me, it was God. The submerging only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like years to me. I went down, felt the shock, also I felt the chains of my past break, my abuse story was light on my mind, my past sins and lies seemed to be erased.
   I felt that I was sent through a master reset, like one of a computer. My hard drive was cleared, and new software was installed, software that led me to believe, it was time to change the world. I didn’t realize that the pastor brought me up out of the water, I stood there for a second, before my arms shot up in the air. I felt overjoyed, almost to where I leaped out of the water, but I contained myself enough to scream “Amen.” I don’t remember shouting though, someone told me months later, while I was talking to them about it. I was happy to hear that, since I didn’t want to think I copied anyone. That moment in the water, changed my life, forever.
   Even if I don’t follow the rules as close as I should, that day has always been an outline for me. I feel that day wasn’t about religion. Yes, of course, it was a church event, and I did it for God, but that day not only freed me for God, but it also gave me the power to free myself. If that day wouldn’t of happened, I would still be fighting the pain of my past, and probably would have lost, by now.  I thank God, that I didn’t lose my cool, and left that day. If I would have, I don’t know where I would be today!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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