Archive for December, 2015

Christmas meaning

Posted: December 26, 2015 in Uncategorized

Christmas is here!
Christmas is here, the snow has almost laid its cold and soft blanket across the yards of Illinois and most of the world. The alarms are about to be changed to ten minutes sooner, so we can get up and remove the ice of our cars. The choirs are warming up their beautiful vocals, as they prepare to sing to the elderly. The bells are beginning to ring as you walk into Walmart, the bells are for charity, but we think of different things when we hear them (CHRISTMAS MUSIC.)
Yes the Christmas music hasn’t been cancelled. Rudolph is about to tell the world about his great adventure, Santa is reminding us to be nice. Jack frost is about to receive his hat again. The old ones are about to rock their hips around the Christmas tree. And how could we forget about dashing through the snow. Though we will get annoyed with the same songs that play in synch 24/7 until January, we will have our hearts warmed with the fire that is so delightful. But we will still have a place in our heart for sledding.
Am I too old now to sled? Of course not! You can never be too old to sled. Sledding brings a warmth to my heart that can’t be ignited by any normal flame. It is a delightful feeling to know that I’m still a kid on the inside. That is what Christmas is about, feeling like you haven’t all year. Christmas has been corrupted by the idea of gifts, when in my day it was about feeling warm with your family. Christmas was about being with family, and showing love to those around you.
I am excited about this Christmas. It is the first time in a couple years that I have felt this way. The feeling left when people started to fight about the phrase “Happy holidays” So many people got mad because there wasn’t Christ in that phrase. But we have to look past a silly phrase (That was put into place to suit everyone’s beliefs) and look at why we should be happy during Christmas.
Christmas to me was the one time that all of my family was in one place at the same time. People work hard for their money, meaning that sometimes they can’t attend family events. But with very few expectations, Christmas shuts down most stores. This fact gives everyone the same day off! We all would pile into my grandmas house and laugh with each other, talking about the past year and what has changed. There was never a fight on Christmas, never a disagreement, never resentment, never tears (unless of joy). It was like for the one day of the year, the world was fully at peace. I miss that.
I miss seeing families through their windows as you drove by. Like seeing a dad pick up a son or daughter, and throwing them up in the air. Or seeing the notorious snowball fight, where the dad would bring mom down to the snow. She was never mad though, she knew this was a part of Christmas. I miss hearing about family stories that were told on Christmas, now it is about how much was under their tree, it has become unbearable to hear about!
This Christmas do me a favor, and focus more on reconnecting with family, and less on buying that Xbox one. Materialistic things will break and fade away, but the family moments that we lock away in our hearts may become dim, but they will never be forgotten. As long as you hold on to those memories, nothing will be able to make you upset on Christmas.
Christmas, to me, is about family. Let us get it back to that!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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     There are a few white substances that people love in this world. There is cocaine that leaves you drained and wanting something more. There is powered sugar that leaves you happy at first, but can cause major teeth issues if you eat too much. There is salt that will make your steak taste amazing, yet will leave a bitter taste in your mouth after the steak is gone. But there is one substance that will never fail to bring joy to your heart. The substance might make you want to cuddle with your blanket, or with a love one. This is fine though, because that is what the great thing is about this substance. It can take a broken family, or broken heart and make it whole again. It will take those who hate to be close to others, and make you wish those people would never leave your side. The substance is good to eat also. There is nothing unhealthy about eating this amazing object, actually it is very healthy for you. It might not have the protein like that steak, but can you make a snowman with a steak? The answer (even if you could) is no! You can only make a snowman with Snow. The best white substance that will never leave you dry.
    Snow is my favorite thing about Christmas. There is something about a cold object hitting my eye balls that makes a warm and angry feeling in my heart shoot up to 100%. I can’t tell you how many times I have been walking and have to rub my eyes because of the snow getting into my eyes. But none the less, snow is the ultimate joy found every winter, and guess what? Its coming soon.
In some places, the snow has already found its way to the ground. But for Illinois, we have to wait until at least March. Usually we would have to wait until my birthday to get some snow, but I feel this year (in a few years) we will have our first white Christmas. I would get your snow boots ready, because we aren’t talking about just a little bit of snow either. I am predicting and praying for at least 10 ft. That way we are forced to stay inside with our families instead of going out to shop. This Christmas, I want to see more snow ball fights and less snow in a can.
Snow is cold, and most cant stand that fact. But what fun is it to grab snow in a can and play with that? That is like grabbing a rubber hotdog, putting ketchup on it and taking a bite. In theory its still a hotdog, but in reality its rubber! Snow in a can should be used for only one thing. To fill the trash can. Yes take that fake crap and throw it in that plastic bag, tie that bag up now and throw it in your dumpster. You wont need that this year, but you can go outside and play in the real stuff. Because as I said before the snow is coming. We will have the most beautiful Christmas in Years! Are you ready?

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

The best songs during these cold breezes….
10. We wish you a merry little christmas
9. Baby its cold outside
8. 12 days of Christmas
7. Winter wonderland
6. Have yourself a merry little Christmas
5. Grandma got hit by a reindeer.
4. Santa is coming to town
3. Rudolph the red-nose reindeer
2. Jingle bells
1. Frosty the snowman

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

The best songs during these cold breezes….
10. We wish you a merry little christmas
9. Baby its cold outside
8. 12 days of Christmas
7. Winter wonderland
6. Have yourself a merry little Christmas
5. Joy to the world
4. Santa is coming to town
3. Rudolph the red-nose reindeer
2. Jingle bells
1. Frosty the snowman

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Deserts
10.Bread Pudding
9. Cookies- Sugar, Snicker doodles, PB, Oreos
8. Crème Pies
7. Apple Crisp
6. Caramel
5. Chocolate Fudge
4. Peanutbutter Fudge
3. Peppermint Cheesecake
2. Molten chocolate lava cake
1. Grandmas Butterscotch pie

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Being an elf is hard sometimes

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    I was born to two amazing people thirty-two years ago. We spent most of our lives in a small town next to the north pole. As a child I wanted to be a part of the big man in the suit. My life would be complete if one day I was offered a job with Santa clause. I wouldn’t even care if the job was to wash his sleigh every year, that is all I want. I want to be able to say that the most magical man noticed me, I want my story to be like Rudolph’s.
In school I was always picked on, all due to the fact that I am a certified “Little person.” Yes I am only 3’2. I wasn’t able to play sports because I was too slow. My legs were too small for Basketball, and I couldn’t see above the lineman for football. I had no other talents other than art. But my dream to become an artist was cut short, my teacher was someone that hated “little people” so my art could be better than anyone else in the class, yet he would say that it wasn’t good enough. My final was a sculpture of Rudolph. The detail was so deep, I spent hours making the fur that a reindeer would have. I had faith that nothing would stop the teacher from giving me an A+.
I walked into the class room with the sculpture tightly in my arms. The whole day all of my friends were in Awe of the beauty of my talent. They were trying to buy it from me, but even the most money in the world wouldn’t be enough, this piece of art was for one purpose. The purpose was to get my teacher to overlook my physical being and see the heart that I had for art. I walked to my table, and jumped up on the seat, I was patiently waiting for the professor to tell me to present, but he never did. He skipped over me and went to the next person in line. I thought it was because he oversaw me, but as I started to believe that he wasn’t going to forget me. He began to teach the next lesson in class. This was after everyone in class had presented their projects. All thirty-five kids had their shot at fame in this class. But yet again, I was forgotten. But I wasn’t going to give up. I will have my five minutes of fame. But more, I will have my chance to hear the professor congratulate me on doing such a fine job.
“Sir, You forgot me.” My voice echoed off the walls, as the rest of the class stopped their group conversations. The teacher raised his eye-brow at me. He seemed to be irritated that I said something. But he simply rolled his eyes and lifted his hand at me. “Go, Rich. You have five minutes.” My heart began to sing a song of nervousness. There was a thunderstorm going through my body as I grabbed my sculpture and made my way to the podium. I got half way through the classroom before I felt the first sweat drop off my head onto my soggy arm. My hands were moist from the sweat, I began to lose grip off the statue, but before dropping it on the ground, I regained my composure.
I got to the podium and began to present the project to the class. They were truly in awe of the talent that was placed into this project. I heard the sounds of gasp that they were letting out as I told them the features of the reindeer. Such as the fact that it can move, or that the eyes blink. But the thing they loved the most was the detail of the fur. But I wasn’t satisfied still. I wanted to hear the teachers opinion. I looked towards his desk, and I saw what broke my heart, he was asleep. He quickly woke up and looked at me. “Are you done? Good!” He got up and wrote something on the letter and stuck it to my project. He then pushed me towards my chair. There was a tear that formed in the corner of my eye, it quickly rolled down my cheek.
I got back to my chair and opened up the letter that he placed on Rudolph. “Give up art, you have no style.” The words broke my heart, I wanted to leave the room, so I got up from my chair and grabbed the Reindeer off the desk. I got to the door before the teacher noticed. “Sit back down!” I had the door already open, but I was about to tell him how I felt. But I couldn’t speak so I turned back around to walk away. As I rotated to the door, the solid wood door slammed against me. Pieces of my hard work fell violently to the ground, breaking into smaller pieces. My eyes swelled in hatred as the waterworks fell from my eyes. I ran all the way home that day, crying the whole way home.
When I got home, I began to throw all of my older projects at the wall, but when it came to my most recent project, I stopped. I picked it up from my desk and looked in his eyes. “Santa, I wanted to make you proud. I made over a thousand toys, cookies, and gingerbread houses. This was all to gain your attention. I thought maybe if I made a Rudolph sculpture, I could be noticed by my teacher, which then could tell you about me. But he hated it. I don’t know what else I can do. I give up.”
As I said that my dream was over. The window to my room blew open with forceful snowy-winds that began to rip my posters off my wall. I tried to get up to the window, but I kept falling from the gusting winds. I fell hard to the ground, but as I was on my back, I looked up into the snow. The snow was forming a funnel cloud. I was in the middle of my first snow tornado. But as the winds began to swirl, the snow began to turn different colors. Then all of a sudden the winds stopped and the window slammed shut. I looked all around my room and saw nothing. But then as I looked back to the window, there my hero stood. Santa Clause was in my room, and he had a special message for me.
“Now Richy. I have always noticed you. I was just waiting for you to have faith in yourself as strong as the faith that you have in me. I have something special to ask you. You have great talent, and I need that this year. I lost a few of my elves to the shelves of America. I need a few magical elves that I can trust to deliver great toys. Will you help me?”
That night changed my life forever. I would like to say that I saved Christmas, but that is way to big for an elf to say. I helped majorly though, and now I have the right to say that I am Santa’s’ main elf. I just had to have faith in myself, something that I never had. That is all Santa wants, is a few young men and women to have faith in their selves.  You never know, maybe Santa needs you this year.

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Rudolph is on drugs!
         Rudolph has freely went to rehab for his cocaine addiction. Rudolph was found on his living room floor next to a line of white snow. The cops investigated the powder, and revealed to the public that it was in fact Cocaine. When asked about it Rudolph told the public that he was rejected for so long that he turned to cocaine. When asked if he had any sales, he admitted that he sold some to the Easter bunny. But no one was able to find his hole, cops reported that they will wait until May 1st 2016 to investigate him.

         Rudolph was chosen from Santa when he saved Christmas, but Santa even admitted that his light-red nose looked drug related, but he came at a good price. Santa takes full responsibility and has been charged with flying under the influence. He is now trying to make a deal with UPS to deliver the rest of the presents this year, since his license have been suspended. Santa will also spend one-seventy days in jail for the possession of cookie crumbs. This drug was found in his lab. He apologizes for all inconveniences.

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Santa is real
         You see the big man every year at the mall. He is always smiling and fixing his beard. He is ready for the photo. Say cheese! Snap! Next please!. He asks your child what he wants for Christmas, and tells you parents that don’t know what your kid likes. So gentle to those babies, that’s how Santa. Yet when kids get to a certain age we, as parents, have to tell them a lie.
         The lie that is so famous around this time of the year is that “Santa Claus is fake.” You parents want the full credit on the gifts that are stuffed under the tree. Why would you still the joy from the big mans heart. He has been taking out of Christmas, like Jesus was removed from Schools. But no one bats an eye. We act as if it is okay that we banned him. He has to pay the rental on his sleigh, just like we do for our cars.
         What if you lost your job? Feel bad yet? No? Fine. You know he also has a wife and reindeers? (this isn’t including Rudolph, he is on drugs) He has to feed those Elfs also! So do me a favor and stop lying to the future of this generation. You are sick!

p.s. Stop eating Santas’ cookies!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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         My dad came down this last weekend, which put my wife into the mood for the holidays. This always includes putting up the dang Christmas tree. Last year, it took almost three hours to decorate the tree. I couldn’t get the lights to stay on the tree, I even watched videos on YouTube. I found out that I was putting the lights on wrong. I figured that I wasn’t suppose to tie the lights to the inner part of the tree, which is what I was doing. I wondered why the lights didn’t look like those on lifetime, Now I know.

        This year, my dad was excited to put up the tree with us. We decorated the whole living room with lights and  bulbs. Of course I had to gripe about my dad not fluffing the tree enough! It felt nice to decorate the house this year. With the house decorated, I can say that it feels like Christmas at the Jenkins house now. And my favorite part is that my dad put the lights on the tree this year, which means YouTube wasn’t needed. Sorry to those guys that specialize in those kind of videos.
The tree looks like this:

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

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Stocking stuffers
I love the Christmas season, or holiday season. The way that peoples eyes glitter in the presence of all their gifts and their loved ones warms my heart. The part that I love probably the most is the stockings. Who doesn’t want a sock full of wonderful small gifts?!? I love my stockings. This year I got one with the Letter “B” on it. That is because my name is Blake, well no crap right? Anyways I want to let everyone know what I expect in the stocking this year.

Hot sauce- Who couldn’t use hot sauce. I use hot sauce on everything! Even peanut butter and jelly. I use hot sauce in the shower. You name it and I use it there. But it has gotten expensive for the good stuff.

Any card games- I want you guys to know that I am actually a closet Yu-gi-oh player and recently I sold all of my cards, so I need you guys to buy me more. Pokémon is a option, but magic is not welcomed. I don’t get magic -.V

Surge- Only a few of you know about my crazy addiction to Surge. If you don’t know what Surge is, die! But anyways, I am talking kegs of Surge. If it wont fit, then wrap it! I am not that picky.

Money- I want all the money that you can give. I need it to play monopoly. I hide the good stuff up my sleeve during games in order to get the upper hand on my foes. So give me monopoly money!

Candy- If I don’t get kandy this Christmas this year, I will freaking cry. You really don’t want me to cry. Remember that giant flood back in New Orleans, that was because I didn’t get my candy.

Anything else that you can think of is welcomed, except fruit or veggies. I am not that healthy. So this Christmas I will be waiting!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude