Welcome to “The letters to the Chapel”

Posted: September 3, 2015 in Uncategorized

     I fell from the ban wagon years ago. With each term of my contract being fried, because I forgot to attend the practice. I was busy working on myself, but I guess that is a wrong reason to miss something so important. I should have let myself fall apart from the stress that was overwhelming my mind. I should have spent my last few bucks to travel the miles on miles, in order to sit on a bench for two hours. I must have lost all my marbles when thinking about this, and which priorities were higher. I should be ashamed of myself. Actually I am not.
I wish that I could scribble out the previous paragraph and erase the past that prompted the previous written words. I wish that the contract that I broke would have never been made. Now thinking about the fine print that I didn’t study, I should have took more time to fight the terms. Because with signing the contract, I signed my life away. I am just blessed that I got out it when I could of. If I were still there, then I would still be fighting for the air in my lungs that is keeping me alive to this day. I almost forgot what the feeling of breathing felt like, since I wasn’t able to breathe around those who held my strings to my arms. They weren’t letting me catch my breath, they thought that I was fine. But when it came to the honesty, I failed to tell the truth. This is because, I was being controlled.
I wasn’t able to speak for myself without being punished to the full extent. They wouldn’t listen to the words that I would be screaming in their ears. I was trying to tell them that I was dying. My skin felt as it was being ripped off of my body, with salt following the painful loss. I would lose my conciseness, fall into a ditch and still was told to perk up. I was told that I had to be happy when I was feeling worthless, because that was how they wanted people to think that I was. I needed to be the happiest guy in the world, or I was a problem that they were over. I should have listened to their words, NO! I should have flipped that desk and flattened their face. But either way, I fell into their trap and pushed my happiness under the skin, hoping that one day I would have the strength to find it again. That day finally came.
Being called into the main office was always a pleasant trap. There was never a meeting that contained two people. It happened that every meeting that I was in, I was on one side facing four leaders, ready to stone me with one wrong statement. That day was the day that the stones were going to fly around the glass house. I was about to bust every window that I could. My attentions were to filet their face, and grill their feelings on my George Forman. I was breaking the chains that I locked myself, and was about to free myself from their grasp.
I walked into the front office, hoping to see the counsel but it was different this time, There was only two that were seated, but they seemed to be consumed with anger and darkness. This was a sign that this meeting was about to end with the equevent of Nuclear Warfare. This office was about to look like Germany in 1942. Blood was about to spill faster than a Jason Vorhees killing spree. I was fearing that I was about to turn into Eminem and pop a cap in their ass. But this was not the case.
As we began to talk, they were offended about a list of things that I said and did through the few months that led to this point. I stood my ground and told them to end the contract, but they weren’t listening. This wasn’t what they wanted at all. They wanted me to bow before their feet but that wasn’t what I was about. No, I wouldn’t bow to these fools. They would have to break my ankles in order for me to bow, and even then I would stand through the pain in order to show them that they were controlling to many followers. They were not going to end this without knowing how I was feeling.
As the meeting began to come to the climax, they told me that I wasn’t fit for their plan and that I needed to find something else to do. I told them that they were fools for the way that they were thinking. If anyone was ready for that step-up, it was me for sure. I had all of the qualifications where they didn’t have anyone else with the same. I was the only one for the job, and they were about to pass me up. Since I came into this meeting with guns ready, I was about to take a few warning shots.
When I say that I had my arsenal ready, you should know that I had a list of things that I didn’t say in previous months that I was about to say. Then again, I still have some things that I wish I said that day. I took it easy on them as I took a few of those warning shots and had my dad in my mind. He was telling me that this wasn’t me. I was reminded that I can’t let a grudge hold me from happiness. What would have happened if they would have changed the few things that I brought up to them? They would have fixed those things but then would have still had the strings attached.
That day was the beginning of the end in that chapter of my life, one that I can’t erase nor forget. Part of me wants to keep the memories for the happiness that I found for a short time. But then again when certain events happened, those moments of happiness were corrupted. But there is more to come in the future of this story that ended in my death. Welcome to Letters to the Chapel.

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

  1. […] Letters to the Chapel Ep. 1 If you haven’t read Ep. 1 go take a […]

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