Escaping the world

Posted: July 18, 2015 in Uncategorized
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The day started with a yawn, pain in my head, and the memories of last nights close in my mind. I chose to take the night off even at work. I didn’t want to be there, my stress level was at 10 1/2 and was left with a store that looked like someone shit on a rag and rubbed everything. There was nothing stocked on the shelves, nor was the trash taking care of. In reality I had to catch up before I could even start my close. I get yelled at if this were me leaving it for my General manager, but he brushed it off as if it was my job, leaving once I got in. He had a lame excuse of I have to drop something off at another store, and he left in the middle of a busy time. I shook my head and went on with my close.
The rushes came and went, but with the slow times that came and went, I changed my work habits. This is a new thing for me, because instead of busting my rump to get everything stocked to the fullness that I like, I sat back and waited for the next rush. This was the first time ever, I am telling you, that I have ever stood still during a close. I usually bust my ass to get everything done hours before we close, but with how he left, I lost all respect for him, he tells me that I need to lead by example, but he then does this. Why is it that I have to follow by example, when my GM leaves me with a trashed store.
I left a few things for him to do as he opens today, and left a little earlier last night, this was more of a statement, that if you leave me with shit, expect me to follow by example and give you that turd back, this time though it is polished. The things I left him with were the easier things to do, such as fill the ice machine, stock chocolate milk, and wipe off three trays. The trays that I found at the end of the night, of course. Everything else, I did to my full extent. So I didn’t see anything wrong with my close. That was until I talked to my wife.
My wife is a cleaner, and feels that whatever needs to be done, should get done. She talks about how she wants to screw over her boss, and leave a lot of things for her to do, but never does it because of her big heart and integrity. She is soft hearted and forgiving, the perfect traits for a Libra. Where I am arrogant and ready to cut someones throat, the traits of The Ram, Aries. So while driving to work today, she asked how last night was, I expected her to be okay with the three things I didn’t do, but she was the complete opposite. She began to call me a bad worker, saying that she wouldn’t leave anything for them to complain about. I see where she was coming from, times are hard and hours are getting cut, and she is afraid that if I don’t prove myself, that I will be at the end of the stick, when it comes to hours.
We got into a big fight, ending the fight with her slamming the car door, and me pilling out of her driveway. I think I ever broke a promise or two, while yelling a choice of words at her through the car window. Now comes the point where we both calm down, I know that we will be okay, but it hurts when she talks down to me, like I don’t know what I am doing in my job. This causes me to shut down and go into a minor depression when I am by myself. So I escape into my zone, which lead to me writing this letter to you guys, as I will breifly describe my escape zone.
When something happens to me, that will hurt me or piss me off. I hhave been taught to get away from the situation, and regather my composer, before I do something stupid. My escape is simply what I am doing right now. There is something about writing that makes me feel like a different person, a person with a perfect, stress free life that is better than any other life. So when I am upset, I will grab a drink, open my tablet w/keyboard and I will right until I feel better. Which usually I can write a few post before I lose the anger and hurt. Today the  anger left me when I wrote the first paragraph, so it worked. Sometimes it wont work though, that’s when I turn to the bottle, haha I’m joking, I turn to Fallout. The reason I turn to fallout is because I can kill people and not get into trouble. This has never failed me.
So if you are pissed off and hurt, or stress to the max, and you need something to get your mind off the situation, find something that is relaxing and do it. The stress will melt away, the anger will cease to exist, and the hurt will feel more like a misquito bite, rather than a knife to the heart. This is how I get over the things that are on my mind, this is something that you should try also! 


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