If I were to give some advice right now, you would be listening to a man that just woke up and probably would get the worse advice ever. Lets take how I feel right now and take it into a classroom, a classroom full of kids that are trying to pick a college to apply for. My only job as John Stewart is to give them the best advice to take to college. But as I said before, I am tired and cranky so here is my advice:

1. Whatever you do in life you will become rich, so go cheap when finding a college.
2. Money will be tight at first, so my advice is to pull out all the student loans that you can.
3. You remember those student loans? They wont even remember you at the end, so go ahead and keep the money.
4. If you don’t want to waste your life, don’t go to college.
5. College is only for those who are really to stay up all night partying. No one studies in college.
6. If you find a girl you like, don’t hesitate to try to get with her, even if she says no.
7. You are going to hate your classes, so skip them, they give you the paperwork anyways.
8. If someone makes you mad, throw acid on their face.
9. If you decide to stay all four years, don’t! Its a waste of time
10. When you graduate, flick off the principal and give him the stone-cold stunner.

If I were to give you this advice would you take it? I know that if my student counselor would of told me these words of advice, I would have down better in college while I attended. But He didn’t and now I am here giving you guys some great whole-hearted advice that will make you excel as you go to college! Party Study on…….no Party on!


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