Rush hour turns into rough hour.

Posted: June 10, 2015 in Uncategorized

Est Reading time: 4:29
Rush hours are so amazing. I love to get stuck behind a thousand cars, waiting for them to move two inches, just to wait again. I love hearing people scream, and throw their hand on their horn. It is a very pleasant sound and family friendly. I think that I will spend my child’s first birthday in a traffic jam…Why? To teach them some awesome language skills. The people that are stuck in traffic sound very intelligent.
As you can imagine I am joking about the traffic jams, I honestly have only been in one bad hold-up, but smaller ones in Springfield still suck. I leave my house ten minutes before I have to work, God punishes me a lot though. The only time that the streets are busy are the times that I am running behind. This forces me to be late to work, good thing my manager doesn’t care. But one day I know I will get stuck in a never ending hell way. Here is how that would go:
Two minutes until I have to clock out, but guess freaking what? i am stuck in traffic. If I would have just left two minutes earlier I would be fine, but I didn’t now I am stuck. Gosh dangit, I hate people. Cant they see that no one is moving, oh no blow your annoying horn, like that will help anything! How stupid do people have to be!!!!!!
Oh yeah, I’m thirty minutes late! Whoo that’s a new record! Maybe I should just call my boss and tell him, oh hold on I see us moving….Never mind let me call him. Oh nice, someone is trying to merge into my lane, yeah that’s not happening. Don’t you dare flick me off, its not my fault you cant drive….Prick!
Dangit, I have been stuck in this traffic for a whole day! My wife is scared. She thinks that I am lying about being stuck, but I am not! She can see that clearly I am stuck if she would turn on the TV. Ah let her worry, I am not in the mood. Yeah move now! Jerk, take this manly horn. Ha never mind I am driving a Prius. Yes finally we are moving again. Oh good job, Blake, you missed your turn. God here we go again.
Two days later
I am so fed up with this bullshit, I quit. I am done let me get out of this freaking car. I will leave the car here and come back tomorrow when this is over. Yeah that’s the plan. I bet I wont even be seen, not will everyone rioting through their windows. Here I go, time for the escape. I get out of my car and start to walk across the street, and just my luck, a cop.
I try to explain my situation, but he isn’t taking my situation lightly. He ends up giving me a ticket! F*** This, I start to scream, and end up getting put in handcuffs. I end up hitting my head off the car window, waiting for us to move. The worse part is that my butt itches now!

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