Preview to: Letters to the Chapel

Posted: May 13, 2015 in Uncategorized

You know those choices, when you know that anything you choose will end up impacting your life? You know how you felt when you chose the right choice? But then when you got comfortable with your decision people decided to leave you alone. I have felt that recently when I chose to leave my old church and start my own journey.

I don’t quite know where to start this post, because if I’m right, a few of the people that thought i changed will be reading this note, and I want them to know that I never changed. I have always been as outspoken as you saw me the last time that we talked. I didn’t want to fail you guys, but i guess the outcome was impossible to avoid. One day or another it would have happened.

What you guys don’t understand is that I felt completely dead the last six-months of my walk with Christ. It was due to the depression that wouldn’t go away, it was the fact that I only had people that cared about me on the weekends. But during the week I had no one to share my pain with. I needed to be around you guys more, but with certain circumstances I was unable to do that.

This is the reason why I wanted to spend the time in the Fed-Ex truck with you, Josh. That’s the reason why I would try to be like you, it was to catch your attention. But once you moved to Troy, I realized that you had to go your way and I had to go mine.

The point of this post is to tell you guys that Ariel (My wife) had nothing to do with my choice to quit New City. Though at the end I felt betrayed and judged, it had nothing to do with the love of my life. She taught me that if I wanted to be happy then I would need to do something for myself for once.

Yes its true, I am no longer the man I was in the past, but that is my life. Jesus taught us to love the unlovable. To bring in the most sinful sinners, and to show them that he died even for them. I felt like New City lost that at the end. It turned into a revival fest, when they weren’t even ready to accept the hopeless.

Don’t get me wrong, the had the right intentions but they were clinging to the “Revival” that they use to have. But their hearts weren’t fully in it. They were trying to bring life into people that weren’t ready, or people that felt judged. When you try to do that, the house of the lord will wilt. You cant have negative and positive in anything, it doesn’t add up.
I quit church that day I walked out of New City and have been twice since. Do I need God? To a point Yes, but am I ready? No. I am not ready to go back to the same environment that I felt more judged than I did in High School. The church isn’t made for that, it is meant for the self-righteous people to step the hell back and to let the hopeless go before them. If you have ever pushed a man on a stretcher, You don’t pull him, no the caretaker will push him into the room. That’s what the church needs to do. Push the hopeless to the lord, instead of filling them with guilt so they would ask for forgiveness. I quit going to church for that Reason.

I want to inform you guys that there will be new music coming from me soon. Lyrics will be posted. I will do my best to try to get some audio, but no promises.
The new album will be called
Gregory Jenkins: Letters to the Chapel

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