The Morning.

Posted: May 9, 2015 in Uncategorized

I don’t know what you do in the morning when you first wake up, but whatever you did before is wrong. It is time that you find out the correct formula and ingredients to prepare yourself for the day. I am Mr Wood and I am here to help you better yourself in the morning. These are the four things that you will need.

Hammer
Clock
Duck tape
Shower

Now that you have all of these things in your possession do me a favor, and put each thing away. But before you put the clock away take the hammer and smash the clock. Please do not stop until the clock is dust. This will require great force but it will help you sleep longer. It will allow you to catch that villain that we all are trying to catch in our dreams.
Now that the clock is smashed put everything away and lay in your bed. Dang-it maybe i should have put that on the list.
Hammer
clock
duct tape
shower
bed.
There we go, now we can focus on the Z’s. Now get back into that bed. Don’t argue with me I am the professor. Yeah get in that bed and shut up! Oh big baby doesn’t like how I am talking? Cry me a river (Check out my previous post.) Yeah good boy, Shut Up! You know I probably could have used the duct tape, but either way it works. Now close your eyes. You feel that? That’s your body relaxing and making you go back into dreamland. This will be the part where you learn the most important part of this beginners guide. Waking up for old people. Sleeping out beats being an adult. Screw your job and son, and dream on!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s