Don’t waste my time

Posted: May 21, 2017 in Uncategorized


​Stop wasting my time

You aren’t even worth this rhyme

You keep entering your 2 cents

When you ain’t worth a dime

I am tired of your mouth

So get the hell out

Stop talking the lies you say

Before I freak the hell out 

You don’t know about this

You are getting  me pissed

You keep standing in my way

Then cry when you get dissed

This is the warning you receive 

I will always be the same ol me

But if you keep stepping in my way

Then the angels will be the next thing you see
😨πŸ”₯πŸš±πŸ˜„πŸ˜

What is happening and why is it happening again?

This always happens to me, I find some kind of happiness then it is sucked away. I over examine everything that I do in my life and usually over examine what other people say and do. People have done some things to me in my life, but it has never been as serious as I make it to be. Yeah, we could talk about my mother, but that isn’t what I am talking about. I am talking about the fact that people leave me behind and move on. They take me into the woods and leave me like an unwanted dog. I then have to find my way back home, praying that someone will eventually keep me in their home. This is just a thought, though. I am not alone, of course, but sometimes it feels like it. I have a wife, she is the best thing in my life, but sometimes I just want to have someone check in on me. I want a friend to check to make sure that I am fine, but that is wishful thinking, I guess. They stay for a few months, but everyone gets tired of ol’ Blake. They find someone better and will leave.

This is when things get worse for me. This is when anxiety gets into my veins and begin to rot my inner peace. I try to hold on.  It is hard to hold on to a sharp knife. The knife begins to cut your hand and eventually you will let go, this is what anxiety feels like. Anxiety for me has been a horrible battle. I am usually a pretty awesome guy, I want to make everyone happy (well most of the time) until the knife begins to cut, again. When the knife is pressed against my hand, I don’t want anyone to talk to me. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to be better, I just want to do what I have always done, slowly sink to the back of the room. It becomes harder to get out of this state, the more that I get into this kind of mood.

Recently, I have found myself in this state. I had to hide behind my crew, because I didn’t want to take any orders, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to be at work, it was the last thing that I wanted to do. I push people away and make them feel like I hate them when I have this knife pressed against my hand. I tell people to leave and to never come back, but then I want to chase them down, but I have pride so I will sit back and watch them leave. The worst part is that I will blame them because they left. I pushed them into a battlefield, yet I will say that they shot the first bullet. I could understand why these people don’t want to be around me.

I wouldn’t want anyone to hurt me then blame me for them hurting me. I do get that, but I don’t understand why so many don’t want to be around me. I understand that I treat others like shit, but I am talking about those who I don’t even know. They walk out of my life, leaving me to wonder what I did wrong and how I can change myself. These people make me hate my life and then I get more depressed and push more people away.

My anxiety is horrible, I just want to be normal. I want to keep people near me and show others that I am not a creep or something in that nature. I think I am a good swing for those who want to be friends. I just want to know what is wrong with me. Anxiety is horrible. This is where I am right now, full of it. I might be trying to keep ahold of this knife, but I know that I am one nudge away from losing it. .

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

You know that feeling?

Posted: April 25, 2017 in Uncategorized

You know that feeling when you are so excited that you actually feel nervous? You get sweaty palms and a small headache. You feel your pulse get harder anx you’re just hoping that you don’t pee yourself? That is the best feeling in the world and I am experiencing it, right now. 

NF (Christian rapper) is my favorite musician and I was surprised with tickets (by my loveable wife) for tonight. I think I peed when she told me, but the best part is that I get to meet him. She spent some extra cash and got the background passes, which includes a meet and greet. So, not only do I get to see my favorite artist, I also get to talk to him…My heart is racing as we are only a few minutes from the venue. We are about to party! 

   I have never been this excited, but I love this feeling. I truly love this experience and thank my wife for the best gift, ever… There will be pictures soon. Peace 

If I were to wake up tomorrow with the powers to snap my fingers and change something about my face, you know I would take the chance and change this feature. The feature of my face that I would like to change would be my big, oversize, wrinkle-full, ugly, airplane landing zone of a forehead that I was giving. I swear I could park three oversize trucks on my forehead, and still have enough room to rent out a house (with a view) I swear my house size forehead has kept me in the friend zone more than once, and I am tired of it. I think I would be more than excited to get rid of this mess, so excited that I would end up slapping my hands together, so that the mystical powers could work even faster.
I remember this one time, I was sitting in one of my day classes. This is when I saw a plane making its way towards the school. I heard a lot of yelling from my classmates, as they knew that they were about to be killed from the crash. The teachers were trying to think of a way for everyone to be safe, but that wasn’t going to happen. We had a few seconds. There were flames coming from the wings, as this plane was moving at a high velocity of speed, but the teachers still wanted to try to stop the deaths of many. This is when they began to evacuate everyone out of the building, well everyone but me. They all left me inside of the empty classroom as they got out of the room and made their way down the hall and closer to the exits. I felt something happen in the last seconds of my life. My body started to get tingly, my heart was racing, my eyes began to water and my pants got extremely warm.
My body was complete frozen to the dark green carpet that always reminded me of puke. I knew that everything was about to end, I was just happy to know that I was going home to God. But as the plane hit the school, something happened. I remember a big crashing noise, but then everything stopped. The heat from the plane transferred onto my forehead. The gravitational pull, from my huge mass, was enough to pull the plane into my orbit. The flames were put out as the orbit sped up to even everything out. I saved the school and all of my friends. I became a hero that day, something that even a loser like myself could be happy of.
From the story above, you see that I have had a rough life. This is why I really want that power. I want to be able to change this feature. I know that I am good looking, but my forehead will always hold me down, and that isn’t a joke, I literally mean that I can’t stand the weight of my huge mass of a damn dome. Someone kill me!!!!

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Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Welcome back, Impromtdude.

Posted: April 24, 2017 in Uncategorized

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Tonight, I sit here and I think that I had many plans for this year. I wanted to become something more in this world, especially with my writing, but it hasn’t been working. My life has been hectic for the majority of this year, which has stopped any progress on this blog. I haven’t even posted in months, but I hope that this will change. I miss writing, I have been wanting to write, but something stops me from writing every time. I think I know my problem, so let me explain.

I have an issue! I have an issue of not believing in myself. I built this blog from the ground up, but them when I saw that the stats weren’t where I wanted them, I decided to give up. The fear that I was just wasting my time was something that I couldn’t take. When you know that your hard work is almost for nothing, the best thing you can do is just hang up the coat. This is my biggest problem, I think like this. I have to stop thinking like this and get back into the game.

I have to stop putting down myself, and my ability, and I have to stand up to my fears. My fears of not making it have to become goals of making it bigger. I don’t want to waste anymore time, so I am making this to say that this is the new start. I will no longer be a giver upper. No towels will be thrown in by me, because that isn’t what I do, anymore. I can’t give up on my dreams anymore. I don’t want to give up anymore.

Anyway, I just wanted to say this and get this boat sailing. I have some projects coming out, mainly in special effects, and I will let you know when I get them closer to getting these projects done. Thank you for welcoming me back, I cant wait to mess some shit up!!!!

Impromtdude @ Facebook.com/impromtdude

Today was my b-day

Posted: March 24, 2017 in Uncategorized


Today was my bday. Not only was it my special day, but it was even more special because it’s my golden bidthday. I am now 23. I feel so grown up, but I know that immature days are coming.

   Saturday, I will be spending the night getting completely wasted. I don’t like to get drunk, but I change my rules for big events. Last time I got tipsy, it was new year’s Eve. It was fun. We spent the night going around the table and doing shots. I had to work the next day, but I thought it was a good reason to blow steam. That is why we are about to get plastered 
Anyway, I spent some time doing special effects.  I thought the best way to spend a birthday, would be to make a birthday effect. The story is that I pissed Ariel off so she stabbed me in a face with a birthday candle. I used homemade scar wax to do this effect. It only took me 20 minutes and i enjoyed it a lot.

  Making the effect was fun, but what was funner were the faces of people that I walked by, while wearing the makeup. 

   I am getting ready for Saturday. I am ready to blow some steam, and I have the alcohol to do it. We have spent enough in alcohol, and there is still more coming. 
Anyway, here is that effect! 

One of my favorite sports is basketball. I love playing, I love pulling up from there and hearing the net smack against the rim. There is something about the sound that just makes my heart pound. I use to spend hours and hours playing basketball outside. It wouldn’t matter what the weather was, I would be outside. 

If it was windy, I would adjust my shot to the breeze or work on layups.

 If it was raining, I would be working on corner jumpers and layups

If it was snowing, I would work on fade aways and floaters.

Then on normal days, I would spend hours on three pointers and driving. While also working on all the other things. This would also include game situations!

“Blake has the ball. They haven’t played well, tonight but somehow they are still in the game. They have 3 seconds left, down by 2; Will they shoot a three or go for overtime?”

3.. Blake inbounds the ball and jukes a defender. He goes to his left. 2, He goes behind the back and steps back, forcing a defender to reposition. 1, Blake steps behind the line and pulls up. Could he get it off? Blake releases the ball as the time runs out. He watches the ball spin into the hoop; he won the game!!!!! They won!!!!

You can call me a loser for doing such a thing, but that’s what I would do. It brought me a passion, something that helped me stay in shape and kept my mind clear. There were days that I didn’t want to shoot, of course, but I was out there the next day. I must say that all of the training really helped. I became a good shooter. I could pull up from half-court and pretty much ice it. My three-point shot was sexy. Then we moved.

It all came down to us having to move. The landlord sold our house to someone else. He didn’t tell us that he was looking to sell, but it meant that we had to move. We moved into a smaller house, with less of a yard. The houses were closer together, so I couldn’t really shoot. I lost my passion for the game and my automatic shot. I soon stopped shooting all together. I would get spurts of passion, but it would never stay. 

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to play on a team. I just wanted to be better, but I never did. I quit my high school team, because I didn’t have good handles. This is something I could have learned, but I didn’t want to admit that I had a problem, this led to me failing at that dream. Sometimes I wonder what could have happened if I had someone coach me, but I don’t know. 

You should never give up on your dreams. I gave up because I moved, but I still had the tools at my disposal, but I quit. This is my fault. I gave up on myself. Now, years later, I regret ever pulling the trigger. I would have never went pro, but I could have had a lot more fun than I did. My whole life has been a “what if” and it pisses me off. I hate how I give up before it even starts. It sucks. So, stay on that team, keep playing the guitar, ask that girl out, go after that job. You’re the only one to say that you can’t do something! Stop giving up on yourself. Don’t be like me!!! 


πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€

Hi

Posted: March 15, 2017 in Uncategorized

Just wanted to say hi. I couldn’t wait for this time to say hi. I was excited to get it all together, so that I could say Hi. I don’t think I have a point, But I did say hi.

What should I say next? Oh, hi??? 
Wait. I do have something on my mind. The thing that is on my mind is that I miss you guys. This is why I wanted to spend this time to say hi. I can’t wait to touch base with you guys, but I love you guys. This is when I need to tell you guys what is on my mind, that being “Hi!”

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Would you guys want me to bring this back?

This is the first episode of an original story “Night Crawler Journals.” I think I miss it, so would you want me to finish the story?


                                                               Welcome to the Night Crawler Journals.

     The winter snows have covered the ground, but it didn’t stop there. The snow piled on top of the other layers, the wind has made a snow drift onto the once-visible road. The cops have forced most of the residents of Montana to stay inside until further notice. It is unsafe in the snow to go anywhere. It has reached 12 feet of snow in only three days, that is the second most for this state. The snow is still falling, but that isn’t the worse part anymore.
We were ready for the snow to hit us, but we weren’t ready for the blistering winds that followed. The winds have reached -23*F, since the snow started falling. This is when we were all requested to come to the fire department. The guys that were brave enough to go out in this weather stop coming back. The cops want to say that they have a lot more work to do, and are listing them as β€œheroes”. But the smarter residents are able to put two and two together and see they are dead; the β€œheroes” froze to death out in the cold. They are trying to keep us calm, but it isn’t working well these days.
It has been two weeks since the start of the storm, and the strongest are beginning to fall to sicknesses. The ones that aren’t sick are either paranoid or hungry. The snow finally stopped falling, so now all we can do is wait it out. We are down to our last weeks supply of food though, someone stole an extra portion last night, so now we have to cut down even more on what we eat. We found the perpetrator and he was forced to leave the camp. The only sad thing is that his family didn’t want to go with him, so we kept them with us.
The leaders of the group watched as he walked out in the gushing winds. He looked strong at first, but his body was weakened by the cold, he slowed down and reached out for help, he then fell to the ground. The leaders were about to go receive the body when the snow gave him proper burial. The leaders pulled the fire truck entrance door shut, turned around and walked back into the lobby. The elders found the punishment was harsh and inhumane, they now feel that we are making this place β€œunsafe.” 
The roads are now safe to travel on, the wind has blown a lot of the snow into the woods, as the sun has melted a lot of the rest. We are looking at 7 ft. of snow, now. This is a big improvement, and since the wind has got up to 2*F, we have officially been released to go outside after a month of captivity. The road crew has been doing all they can to push the snow off the streets.
     When they told us the news about the roads being clear, people began to rush out the door to go into the cold, the room cleared quickly. But as they got to the road, the wind began to drop again, this time they didn’t turn around. They kept running down the road. I watched as each one began to slow down. They weren’t strong enough to stand next to the cold. Each one began to turn back, but couldn’t make it another step. I watched as their skin began to turn black from frost bite. They then fell to the ground; 39 residents seemed to die.
As they fell to the ground, they began to shake. They still attempted to crawl towards us, that’s when the kids began to run away. I yelled for one of the elders to get them back inside, and to shut the door. The shaking stopped, we thought that the brain was still giving them energy to crawl, but then they got back to their feet and walk slowly towards us. The enforcement wanted to shoot the innocents down, but I held their fire. I wanted to help them, study their infection, and come up with a way to reverse the illness.
     Their bodies were pitch black, from head to toes. The infection that they had was causing them to foam out of the mouth, such as a case of rabies, but they was also puss coming from their eyes. The puss was turning into blood. I thought there was still an opportunity to help them, so I told the officers to go get them. They didn’t want to listen to me, but I ordered them to do so, as the mayor of Dearmouth. The beast began to scream as the officers that went to help them. The screech was loud, and indicated they wanted to feed, as they grabbed ahold of the volunteers.
     The Crawlers jumped on them, and brought them to the ground. Their fingers had long ice sickles on the tips, these weapons were used to rip open their skin. The shredded their heavy jackets and began to dig into their stomach. They didn’t want to eat though, it seemed to be the heat that they wanted. They still have to be alive, I have to help them, they are just cold. I ran out into the street, and yelled at them. That grabbed their attention, they looked up, their skin was flaking off from the extreme cold. This is when I decided that I couldn’t help them, and that I needed to go back inside.
      The beast followed me to the station. They were slow, so I got to the station first; I quickly shut the door, they charged against the door; the door that I am holding shut. The door wasn’t going to hold for long, in that time I needed to find the others and get out of the building. I ran away from the door to search for the children. I began to scream for them to come out, but no one would answer. I looked in a few rooms and found nothing. I went into the final room on the left. This was the room with the boiler, also the safest room in the whole department.
      When I opened the door, I saw that the outside door was open. They must have heard the commotion and freaked out. I shut the door in the room and went back into the lobby. The door was breaking as I got back into the room, I needed to get help. I needed to get to the control room, there is a radio that is connected to all the departments in Montana. This was my last shot, I needed this to save this town.  
      I ran down the hallway making it to the control room. I shut the heavy steel door and pulled the lock across. I heard the door fall to the ground in the lobby. I didn’t have much time, there were about twenty crawlers looking for warmth, and I was all that was left. I grabbed the speaker, and began to speak into it, telling the surrounding areas what was happening, and where we were. The beasts made their way through the department.
     They had to hear me, because they quickly charged against the door. I knew they couldn’t make their way through the door, but the lock was weak, I needed to get a response now! The lock began to break off the side of the wall when someone answered. The crawlers forced their way through the door, and grabbed a hold of me, I fall to the ground, they fall on top of me. They began to push their claws through my clothing, into my gut. I hear the guy calling across the intercom. I couldn’t respond to the blood in my throat, but with all the power left in my pain ridden body, I held the speaker button down.
      I hoped they wouldn’t come for us, we were all dead. If they came now, they wouldn’t be able to fight these beast off. I slowly lost consciousness. I opened my eyes one last time, my vision was blurry, but I could see that the Crawlers face was covered in blood, his eyes were red and pussy, and the foam had turned into a green slime. He then put his long claw through my eyes, I moaned one last time as I heard the male respond:
β€œMam this is Aaron, we are on our way to get you, we are from Drummond. That is about thirty minutes away. Are you okay?……Mam?…… Leo LETS GO, they have Crawlers……”

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We have a launch! 
  It has been a few months since Halloween. It was during that time that I started doing FX make-up. I am fully self-taught in this artform, but I can say that I am catching on. 

   Well, after my biggest fail during Halloween (my failed zombie) I must have lost focus, because I stopped doing any effects. It was until, just recently, that I got back into it. But to touch base with what happened; Ariel wanted to be a zombie, so I thought it would have been easy. This was my first time working on someone else. I prepped up the materials, I watched a video of someone else doing the effect, I thought I had it. I went to do the effect, and I chose a different path. I knew what I needed to do, but I thought about another way to do it (something I never tried) so I did that. I didn’t like how the finished product didn’t come out well, so I never shared what it looked like. After that effect, I chose to take a break. I didn’t know that I took this break until recently. 

   After a while, I chose that I wanted to do another effect. This is when I thought about a sliced open arm. I knew how to do it, what I needed, how long it would take, and much more. I just didn’t know when to do it. Finally, I took a night and did it. I didn’t have scissors so I ended up hurting the effect. Mainly, I ripped the latex while trying to open it. Either way, I enjoyed this effect and it turned out great!!! 

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After this effect, I ended up doing a project for my anniversary. Today, is my anniversary. We have been together for 4 years. Ariel is a huge fan of The Walking Dead. She loves it and watches it every Sunday. I have been wanting to make, Lucille. If you don’t know, Lucille is Negans barbed wire bat. To do the project, I made my own barbed wire with just regular hanging wires. I finished the project and gave it to my beautiful girl. 


 She’s a beauty πŸ˜‰

Now, I spent a few hours with water colors, last night. I ended up doing two bruises 


Then, there is tonight. I wanted to do something small. So, I pulled out my bone collection and started to play with playdough. I have a big project Coming up, so I need to practice with molding bones. This is why I made a finger bone. I am not that good, quite yet, but I am getting there. I think this is good for my first time 

I have a lot more coming, I just wanted to tell you what I am working on. Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed what you saw. Have a good night, as I leave to spend time with my girl. It’s our anniversary, today!