This is an old story that I was writing. I didn’t like where it was going, so I stopped writing it. I am now showing you guys that story. It is only a short snippet, but it’s what I got done before growing bored of the idea. I hope that is fine!

red school blur factory

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Hospital from Hell

Chapter 1: Birthdays of Regret

She is seventy-seven today. Mary spent most of her birthdays looking at the old photos taking from her old pageants, wishing she could go back to the old days and receive that internship with Marilyn Agency once again.

That was the best day of her life. She was sitting in the kitchen chewing on a piece of bland chicken that her mother attempted to cook, when the phone rang throughout the trailer she was forced to be crammed into. Mary ran to the phone and answered, hoping that it was the management of Marilyn, she had dreamed of that phone call since her first pageant, and spent many nights waiting by the phone for this one phone call.

“Hello, my name is Brian, the Main manager at Marilyn.”

Mary was speechless, could this be real? Could her dream really becoming true with this one phone call, or was it coming to an end? Without this internship, Mary could kill modeling goodbye. Her mother already stated that unless  she proved by her senior year that she could become a model, she wouldn’t be allowed to pursue that dream.

“Hello, Mary Vengerro?” Brian ensured that he had not been disconnected

“Yes, I’m here” Marys’ voice cracked, leaving her embarrassed on the line.

“Yes, Mary, I’m calling on the behalf of your most recent application.”

Mary smiled big as she awaited her life to change

“I’m saddened to inform you that you haven’t been selected to participate in this year’s internship program.”

Megan’s heart dropped, tears filled her eyes. She tried to keep her composer while on the phone, but the tears came, and hard.

“Mam, Are you okay?” Brian asked sincerely, but she didn’t answer.

“Mam?” Brian repeated, again no one answered. He disconnects the phone.

Megan slams down the phone then throws it against the wall; her mother heard the sound and rushed in her room.

“What are you doing?” Linda asked as she searched for damage on Megan’s freshly painted wall.

“Nothing, leave!” Megan screams, Her mother steps back and puts her hand up.

“Don’t talk to me like that, little missy!” Megan puts her hand over her face and begins to bawl. Linda sits next to her and grabs her.

“They didn’t want me!” Linda couldn’t tell what she said so she asked what she said.

“They modeling company rejected me!” The room got silent, Megan waited for her mom to grab her, but she didn’t.

“No duh, your too fat!” Linda’s words hit hard. Megan couldn’t hold back what happens next, she blacks out.

Her hand flies through the air and makes contact with her mom’s face. Her head snaps back, not expecting the blow from her daughter.

Megan gets on top on her and began to punch her. Linda’s face began to get swollen with each hit. Blood was seeping through her nose; her eyes were nearly shut from the abuse she was receiving.

“Stop” Linda Screamed, Megan swings hard, and hits her in the mouth. She pulls back her hand to see a tooth came out with the punch and now was in her fist.

Finally Amber pulls away. Realizing what she did, Amber runs out of the room. Linda was left there, gasping for the tiniest lung full of air, but each breath she took was full of her own blood.

Megan comes back in to the room, Linda is still lying there with no movement, her chest isn’t moving. Megan hurries over to her, hoping she isn’t dead.

She jumps on top of her mother. Feels her chest and sees that her mother was still alive. Knowing that her mother would put her in jail, Megan had to do something.

“Mom, dad did this you go that? I will kill you if you say I did!” Linda nodded in agreement.

Megan left the room and called 911.

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pen and notebook

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Bro! Do you want to hear about my weekend? Do you? I know you do! Oh, yeah, you really do. I know you can’t wait to hear about what I did. You can’t lie to me. Everyone knows you want to read the rest of this. Your life won’t be the same unless you read this. There’s only one thing left to do in life, and that is to read this blog. Let’s do it!

Do I still have your attention? Of course I do. Anyway, let’s talk about my weekend. I want to start by saying, it didn’t go fully as planned, but there was some awesome stuff that happened. I was supposed to take Ariel to a marriage conference, but because someone got fired at our job, we weren’t able to do that. But we spent Saturday on the couch. We ended up watching Fireproof. We both enjoyed it very much, even if the movie is 100000 years old. Saturday was our last day off together for a while, probably until Christmas, no joke! So it was nice to be able to be snuggled up with her, all night. We also had Chinese! Yummy!!

Saturday was great, but nothing compared to Sunday. My old youth pastor, Josh was in Troy to preach. It has been 6 years since we have seen each other, so I was super excited that he invited me to come. I was initially going to miss it because of the employee being fired, but luckily I was able to get a closing shift, allowing me to go and worship with such a great guy. The sermon was equally as amazing. He talked about letting circumstances in life blind you from the work that God is doing in your life. This is exactly what I needed to hear, because life has kind of sucked! I lost view on what God is doing because I have been so stressed! But after he prayed over me, I feel that my eyes are opened and I am no longer stressed. I believe that God does all things to benefit the kingdom, which is why things aligned to allow me to go, when I shouldn’t have had the day off. Either way, God is doing something in my life that I don’t want to miss, nor do I want you to miss. Take a minute today and ask if you are living your best life. IF you feel that life can be better then get on your knees and pray to God to reveal what you need to do. Either way, Let God light your path, because he is all knowing. Don’t live your life alone, but turn to the one that has went before you.

By the way! The Bears are killing it, this season. I am just saying that we could get to the Superbowl. Also, The Browns could actually make the playoffs! Let that sink in! Go Bears and Browns!

 

For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths.
Proverbs 5:21

In the last ten years, I have held a lot of resentment and anger towards one person. She is no longer in my life, but somehow I still allow her to cause me pain and also allow her to ruin good days. I tried to take back the control by hiding behind humor, but I found out in order to get back that control, I must first forgive her, that is the only way to move on with my life and get away from the past, also the only way to be truly forgiven by God.

This time of the year has always been a little difficult for me, as this was the month that my mother walked away from her kids. She did this in 2004. She gave us our Christmas presents, at the courthouse, and then simply walked away. I haven’t physically seen my mom since, though I have talked to her on the internet, about a year ago. I don’t want to discredit her as a mom, but she has also never been a good parent. She left my sister and me in foster care and went on with her life. She says she tried to fight for us, but I question how hard she fought. Since that day, I have always blamed her for the pain that I feel inside. I try to keep off this subject as some might see it as me trying to get attention, and when I bottle it inside, I feel so much worse. Children are meant to have both parent parts, a job that my dad did amazing at fulfilling, but it still isn’t the same without having that figure in your life. But today marks the end of this. Being upset and hurt won’t do anything; she isn’t coming back, so I must move on. I must forgive her and stop tearing her down any chance I get.

The bible tells us that we must forgive to be forgiven. I really don’t want to be the reason that God isn’t blessing me, all because I can’t forgive a woman. She made a huge mistake, but I can’t judge her. Just like I can’t go into a courtroom and tell the judge how to handle a case. I simply can only forgive her for the wrong she has done and pray that she has gotten the help that she needs. With the strength from God, I want to forgive her publicly, through this blog.

“Dear, mom

Thank you for raising the strongest man that you could have. I am doing great, now. I have a lot going for me, including a job that pays decent, a wife that loves me unconditionally, and faith that could move mountains. I am strong in my faith, so I must now forgive you for the pain that you inflicted on my life. I know that you don’t want to admit that you messed up, as blaming father is much easier to do, but know that I no longer hold that over your head. We all make mistakes, some are worse than others, but they are all mistakes. I have made my fair share of mistakes, so I can’t judge you for yours. I just hope that you are getting the help that you need. I find my security in Jesus. Being in Church helped you care more, so I pray that you find your way back into the chapel. Mom, I sincerely love you. I pray nothing but the best in your life and I hope that you are building a life for yourself. You started life young, being pregnant in high school must have been scary, but you somehow found ground to build on, something most couldn’t do. You met dad, made a family with him. Without you and dad, I wouldn’t be here, so I thank you for that. I thank you for showing me the basic skills for life, as much as you did in the few years we had together, without those teachings, I don’t know how strong I would be. Dad is doing a great job, and has for years; he gave me wisdom and a heart of gold. You need to forgive him and move on, as I must do the same. I want to be a youth pastor, but I don’t want God to stop my blessing because of the anger I have towards you, so I simply must forgive you. God said “If you don’t forgive others for their sins, your heavenly father won’t forgive you.” Mom, I want to see you in heaven, so please get right with God. I have found a way to last without you in this life, but I would be crushed if I got to heaven and didn’t see you there. A lot has happened, but I still love you. I always will. Just do as Romans 10:9-10 says and get right with God. If you need anything, message me, I can walk you through it. Know that I can’t hold on to the pain, anymore. But forever, I will be praying for you!! I love you, and I forgive you.

Blake!”

person holding fountain pen

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A thought

Posted: December 6, 2018 in Encouragement
Tags: , , , , , ,


What were you thinking when you told her that you loved someone else? What were you thinking when someone tried to steal your heart, and you fell for it? Did you think about the person that you were hurting in the long run or did you only want to fulfill your needs and wants?
I can’t believe the way that men and women treat those who they love. They tell the person that they love them, but then let “boredom” take control of their hormones, which ends in a heartbreak, and most of the time someone in the relationship cheating.
Now you might be wondering what brought this on, and the truth is I know of a lot of couples that have broken up due to one of the people in the relationship failing to stay faithful. I have had a dozen girls cry on my shoulder because of their boyfriend cheating or couldn’t stop watching porn.
Yes porn is a form of cheating, guys. Anything that makes your heart want someone else, should not be a part of your life. It might not be you cheating physically but it will Prevert your mindset on what “Sex” needs to be like.
Sex being the most pleasurable thing in marriage, can be perverted so easily, which is why I have tried to stay away from porn since I got with My wife. It makes you want something that is an act on a T.V. Which is exactly what porn is, it is just actors and actresses interacting with their genitals and gentilias. They don’t have feelings for each other. This is why I think it has become more acceptable to sleep around, because Television has told us that it is okay. Not through words that they speak but actions that happen when the video begins.
I hate that this generation is all about sex, and not about the fun of getting to know someone. I miss the days where men took women out to the movies, instead of having “Netflix and chill” dates, which has a woman suing Netflix. I will post the story below.
I wanted to talk to you guys about this in order for some of you that are in the weakness of temptation to get out. Get out before you ruin your relationship, it isn’t worth 15 minutes of pleasure. It also isn’t right that you play with someone’s heart as you will be doing, making the girl think of everything that she has ever done wrong, all because your willy wacker is hard for someone else. Well then you need to figure that problem out, but don’t you dare hurt that girl for something so selfish!
Anyways peace

When did things change?

When did life get so hard? I remember being a teen, not having to care about bills. All I had to worry about was going to school and making sure my homework was done. I didn’t have to worry about being mature. I didn’t have to worry about car insurance, rent, or any of the many bills. It was such a good time! Times back then were stress less.

I was able to go to church whenever I wanted because I didn’t have any stress. Praying back in the day was so easy, reading the bible wasn’t a chore that I had to find time for. I had all the time in the world and it was awesome. I was able to get close to God then, but now it feels so hard and impossible to do so, which got me thinking; when did it get this hard?

I was 13 when I first got with God. I didn’t have to do anything. I could go to church whenever I wanted. I didn’t really have a job, so I could focus on my spiritual life. I am now 24, I have a wife, a job, and so much more going on. I find it hard to do the simplest things in life, let alone finding time to grow my spiritual body. I am always running, paying bills, going to the multiple stores my wife supervises, going to work, and then when I think I have time I remember that the house needs cleaned, also a blog needs done, and I need a nap, I also have to cook dinner, I need to do laundry, I promised to go to Chris’ house to help him. Life gets hectic, quickly and causes us to stress to get everything done! How do we make living simple again, though? The answer is to plan!

Wow! That is so simple, right? No! Because there are still only 24 hours in a day, and usually there isn’t enough time to get everything done. With it being impossible to get everything done, you will need to cut certain things and find what helps you the most, in the long run.

I have been listening to this Youtuber. He teamed up with another Youtuber to cover the topic of stress. He taught me that you have to plan 5 years in advance. We have to know what we want and when we want it. We have to know this so that we know what we need to do to get it. Then after you get your 5 year plan, then you must plan years before that. You need to know what steps you must take to achieve what you want. Then after you plan that, cut out everything that won’t help you get to the big picture. If you have to cut out Friday night bar trips, in order to get things done, then you should do it. For if you continue, and then you waste valued time doing things that will never matter. Then take that time and get things done to bring you close to your goals.

Take a moment today and make a plan. Know what you want to do in the future. Know where you want to be in the next five years, then go out and actually put it into work. It won’t work if you make it then throw it in a bin and walk away. You have to make the time to do these things, and you can’t do that without a plan. Life is so stressful, but you can make the best of it, if you just make a plan! SO go forward and find out what will help you achieve your goals!

pen calendar to do checklist

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I said that I would be having a blog about love up, today, but that isn’t the case. I know I have been pushing this off, but my internet is still not fixed, of course!! UGH!!! AT&T, You suck! But either way, its best because today is a special day! Today, 5 years ago, I made the logo to this blog! I have always loved the blogs logo and I am happy to what it transformed from. I did 2 other “Main logo’s” that were bland and sad! I then went onto Word and started to play around with different tools and bam! I created my blog logo. I have been thinking about changing the name of my blog. If that happens, I will be making a new logo, but until then, let’s enjoy where we came from. Going way back to 2011 when I first started blogging. At the beginning  of Impromtdude, I use to take pictures on my phone, of the screen, then crop it, because I didn’t know how to export it. Lol

2012: When I first started blogging, my logo was seriously just the school that I wanted to go to. CBC (Central Bible College) was my logo for the blog, as I didn’t know logos were even that popular. Even if I did, I probably would have kept it simple, and left it the same way that it was.

cbc

2013: My next blog was “A voice from beyond.” This logo is a stolen photo off of google. I now know that I can’t do that, and I since have unpublished the blog. But I like the design and kind of wish I did make it!

beyond

Impromtdude was created in the late part of 2013. This was the first time that I wanted to make a blog an actual passion, so a cool logo was what I needed, though that didn’t come until 2015. I thought my first logo for this blog was so awesome and it finally gave an identity to the blog, even if I tried to replace it in 2014, with a far worse logo!

og

2014 was a disaster for the logo department. I made the most horrendous logo that I even cringe looking back now! I don’t want to relive what I was thinking, because I’m sure drugs were involved, it’s the only reasonable explanation for an abomination that was once my logo!

impromtdude1

Now! The time was 12/1/2015 and I really wanted to get apparel going, but of course the current logo wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t even good enough to be my Facebook profile picture for my writer’s page. I remember reverting back to the old blog logo, because I just knew people hated the current logo. Knowing that the logo wasn’t good enough, I started to work on a new logo. I used the basic shapes in Word to make my logo. I think it turned out great! It has been the same for 3 years, now, and I love it still. It’s simple, but not bland, and I was able to even do different colors and ideas with it, including a cute valentine’s one and a snowy one! All logos have been included!

logos          bcamlogo

vdaylogo              christmas

I am happy where I came from. I finally have found a blog logo that I am happy with and I don’t really plan on changing it, unless the name change does happen, but even then, I know that logos are important, so know that the quality will be the highest! You guys deserve it! If I was to change my name, what would you want me to change it to? Leave a comment in the section below!

This is my most viewed blog! Whoa! It has been getting a lot of clicks recently which is why I’m posting it. I think its a good basic blog. I personally hate Disney👼 and I still haven’t watched a single one of these movies.

Note: This blog post was suppose to go up Saturday, but my internet is down so ill be posting this on Thursday, and my first post about love on Saturday. Sorry! I am working to get my internet back up and going. We should be back to normal Friday.
I was talking to my co-workers, and they asked me if I watch Disney movies. I simply chuckled, since I have only watched a handful of Disney movies, all together. When I reveal the titles that I havwnt watched, they exploded. They were in such shock that I hadn’t watched them that they threatened to hold me down, and force me to watch every movie. In honor of that conversation, I want to reveal the Top Ten Disney movies I haven’t watched.
10. Nightmare before Christmas

9. Mulan

8. Wall-E

7. Beauty and the beast

6. UP

5. Pocahontas

4. Cinderella, sleeping beauty, snow white.

3. Bambi

2. Lady and the tramp.

1. Aladdin

There are a lot more that aren’t listed. I could probably save the trouble, and post of the ones I have watched. I just have never found them interesting. But it looks like they are going to force me to see them, and I won’t be able to sleep this time around.

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“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” C.S. Lewis

If I have learned anything in the last 2 months, it would be that life is rough. I have never had this much trouble. It is just a rough time for Ariel and me. We are struggling, but we know that this won’t last forever. It never does! But even though I know this, I can’t let it get me down, because I know there is a purpose for our trials. I know that something will come out of this and we will look back and smile. We know that we aren’t being buried but we are being planted.

Trials don’t happen in your life without something coming from it. You might think that I am crazy, saying that I don’t know what you are going through, or that not everything has positive things come from it. This is where I have to disagree.  I feel that anytime you go through a rough time, you can take lessons from that time and go on to help other people. It sucks that we have to go through rough times, but we know  that rough times come and go, and we know that we will survive in the end, we just have to hold on to the hand that is reached out to us.

C.S. Lewis said this “Hardships often Prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” We are giving hardships to prepare us for a journey. We need to go through the roughest times to appreciate the good times, even more. What if life was always great? You would find that you appreciate it less than when you have good times after bad times. If you always have good times, then why would you be happy to have more good times? It is the rough times that help build us into the people that we need to be. The best example is working out. When you work out, you slightly tear the muscles. The muscles will then take all the nutrition that it needs and it begins to repair the slight tears in its tissue. After it repairs, the muscle is slightly bigger and stronger. That is what life is, you go through rough times to slightly tear your muscles so you can become stronger.

Life is rough! Life is like a wave that is looking to kill anyone. I have never been more on the edge than I am now, but I know there is something behind how I feel. God is getting me ready for something great, so he is helping me train, as I get stronger in trusting him. I don’t expect it to be easy, but I know that I am not alone. I have family, friends, and Christ. Those three people will never let me fail. I know there is a plan after my trial, and that is what keeps my eyes on God. Don’t give up because you are going through a valley, because soon you will be back up on that mountain. I know I am making my way up that mountain now. Thank you!

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I wrote this letter when Ariel and I were first dating. We just got our own apartment together and were going through something, so I wrote this to her. I might not be the best person, but I know where my heart resides.

When you look into the mirror at times I don’t believe you see what I see.

When I look at your face I see true beauty! I also see the pain of a childhood that I wish I could take away but I can’t. If I could I would in a second, because you deserved so much better than what you got. I promise to always help you through the days that you feel the ugliest, because when you ask me what I think about you. My answer never changes. I think and know that you are the prettiest girl in this world. I wish one day you can look in the mirror and see what I have seen for the last 11 months!!!!

I walk up these stairs every day, yet I don’t see the just as a few pieces of wood. No I think of all the times we walk the same stairs to get to our cozy little room that we can officially call our own.

It makes me remember the day we came to this place to sign papers, knowing that it was official that we were living together. A lot has been said since then, but every night we go up these stairs, even if we are frustrated at each other, to fall asleep in each other’s arms. I treasure the chance to do this, especially with a princess like you babe!

One can say that love fades, but I find that to be a lie. We have been through a lot, more than most couples go through all their relationship. They would crumble under the weight of all the drama, hurt, past regrets, parental disagreements, threats, tears, and occasionally getting kicked out of your own house. But we lasted through the shit to see ourselves planning the most beautiful wedding in the history of marriage. I can’t wait for the day we can finally seal the deal and make our lives come fully together. To add another crazy ass to a family that’s crazy enough. It’s my pleasure to change your name. So when people say that love fades that’s just because they based their relationship on things that fade, but we based ours on things knowing that they would change and knowing we would have to adjust!!!

 

man sitting on edge facing sunset

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When I was in 6th grade, I wrote my first real story. It was a horror story and I was so proud of it, though I can’t remember what it was about. But I was proud! I proud enough to walk over to my teacher and told her that I was going to be a writer, one day. She read it and raised one of her eyebrows. She told me that it was a good start and that I was very creative. This was the beginning of something special. She told me that it was full of run-ons, but that it could be turned into a master piece; and that no matter what I do, to chase my dreams. This is what started this crazy journey. I knew at that moment, that I wanted to be a writer, and I would do anything (in my power) to become one.

I never had anyone put me down for my writing. I remember when I was in 4th grade, we were supposed to write a story, but I couldn’t because my mother didn’t have a stable home for me to write in. I didn’t do the assignment, but the teacher wanted me to read it to the class. She wanted me to read it in front of a class, a story I never wrote! So what was I supposed to do, tell her I didn’t do the assignment? Heck no! I got up, walked to the front of the class and read my story about a vicious bear, tearing through a town of innocent families. I read for 10 minutes, flipping through the pages, until I finished. After the reading, she asked for the pages, I nervously handed them over and went back to my seat. She went on with the class, asking the next student to come forward and share. The bell rang 30 minutes later; I got up and walked to the door to go to lunch. But as I got to the front of the room, my teacher called my name. My chest was burning as I turned around. “Yes, mam?” She was holding my story up, revealing the empty pages. I began to shake, knowing that I failed the assignment. She told me that I should have been honest, but that I had a huge imagination, one that could make a good career one day. She gave me an A on the assignment for the creativity, since she couldn’t tell that I was reading an empty page.

Jump ahead to my senior year of high school. I have multiple WIPs; I have a solid blog and I’m getting more confident with my talents. A guy comments on my blog, telling me that I need to keep writing. I didn’t know that people could read my blog. I didn’t share it anywhere, so it through me off when I got such love. It felt great!  I also had a teacher behind me, pushing me to use my gifts, knowing I could be something.

Now I am a writer. I write daily. I have my days where I don’t want to write, or weeks where I feel I’m not a good enough writer, but I just remember the encouragement, from my past, and I get back to work, creating more content for you guys, knowing that the people in my past would be happy with where I am now! I never stopped following my dream to become a writer, so why would you give up on your dreams?

Stop telling yourself that you aren’t good enough. Stop grabbing your dream then letting it go because you think you don’t have enough grip on it. One day you will wake up and it will be too late to grab it, so grab it now! Don’t be worried about the outcome, but instead, make the outcome! Don’t stop chasing your dream because your legs are tired. Push through the hard times and grab that dang want. You want the dream to come true, don’t you? It’s all within your chest! You are the creator, so create the ending that you want. If you want to be a doctor, then become a doctor. You are the only one that is standing in your way. You can do this. I know you can.